Bare_Raw

by C. A. Harms

  “I can’t leave with you.”

  I don’t say anything right away only look back at this woman as if I didn’t spend the last two years of my life with her. Where the hell did that sweet woman go that I fell in love with all that time ago?

  “Why?” It was a loaded word, I knew this, but I wanted to know why. Why did she leave? Why did she keep my son from me? Why couldn’t she leave with me? “If you don’t want to be with me anymore, then okay, fine, it’s not what I want, but I’ll learn to deal with it. But to take my son from me? To disappear without telling me where he is? To keep him from me for weeks? Why?”

  Again Mandy looks around as if searching for someone to help her. There was no one to rescue her. I deserved to know what was going on. “Tell me.” I was hanging on the edge of sanity at this point, my hands shaking at my sides. Fighting the adrenaline coursing through me was growing harder with each passing second.

  When she still didn’t reply to my continuous questioning I step forward and reach out for Caden. “Fine, then I’m taking my son with me.”

  “He’s not your son.” She says the words so lightly I almost miss them. “I lied.” She holds Caden tighter against her chest. “The man you saw, that’s Caden’s father.”

  I couldn’t breathe. The harder I tried the worse the feeling of suffocation grew.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to do.”

  “You didn’t know what to do?” I scream these words as they echo around us. People stop on the street near us, looking in our direction with alarm on their faces, only I didn’t care. “You’re lying now.” I say these words lower as I stare directly into her eyes that are now filled with tears.

  “I’m not lying, Alec.” She took in a shuddering breath. “You were just starting your company, and things were rocky. You were gone for days and days at a time, traveling in search of the next big break. It was a mistake, but then I found out I was pregnant.”

  “So how in the hell do you know he isn’t mine?”

  “Because like I said, things between us were rough.” A single tear ran over her cheek. “If you think back to that time, you’ll remember that you and I went almost six weeks without being intimate.”

  “It doesn’t make sense.” I look at Caden, his head against Mandy’s shoulder. His hand lifted to his mouth and he sucks on his fingers. “He’s my son, Mandy.” Tears are clouding my vision and though my head knew she was right, my heart wouldn’t listen. “I’ve been there every single day since he was born. I’ve loved him, protected him.”

  “Alec, please,” she pleads with me as I traced my finger along his plump little cheek.

  “How could you do this to me, to him?”

  “I didn’t know the guy.”

  “What?”

  “He was just someone I met, and after that night, I didn’t see him again,” she looks toward the ground, “until about a few weeks ago.”

  “What, and then you decided it’s time to tell me that the boy I’ve raised for the last year isn’t mine?” My heart literally ached inside my chest. I imagined that what I was feeling in that moment resembled what it would feel like to be truly torn apart. “You’re not taking him from me.” I didn’t care if he was my blood or not, Caden was my son.

  “He wants to be a part of his son’s life.” Fuck, why didn’t she just stab me in the heart? It would have hurt less than hearing her call Caden someone else’s son. “ To be frank, you don’t really have any legal rights to him.”

  I stare at her with a hate I’d never before felt. It was so raw, from a place so deep that I think if I let go I could be capable of hurting her. And I’ve never been a violent man. She gained control, and she knew it. She took everything from me in a matter of minutes—my son , my life.

  I wanted to lash out, I wanted to take Caden and run. To hide someplace where no one could ever find us. But I knew I couldn’t.

  Instead I lean forward, place a gentle kiss to Caden’s forehead before I turn and walk away, leaving my heart where they stood. I knew I’d never again see the boy that I loved with more depth than I had ever loved before.

  I vow that never again would I let anyone play me for a fool. I would take control of everything. I wouldn’t commit, I wouldn’t be naive, I would maintain the upper hand, always.

  Chapter 6

  Brynn

  “Now that is what I like to see.” I look over at the small woman standing in the open doorway of the apartment across from ours. She reminded me of that sweet little grandma that baked pies and quilted. Though I’ve never truly experienced the love of a real grandmother before, because my mother’s parents didn’t want anything to do with us. My mom had burned that bridge long ago, as for my paternal grandparents, well that’s difficult, because I don’t know who my father is.

  “Laughing and smiling,” the woman adds, regaining my full attention as Katelynn stands at my side. We both still had yet to say anything in return, only watch the woman with curiosity as she smiles brightly back at us. “I’ve noticed the two of you seem to be laughing a lot, and that is endearing. Now I know you aren’t mother and daughter, so that must mean you’re sisters?”

  I nod.

  “Well, the bond between the two of you is so very precious.”

  I look at Katelynn to find she is looking at me. I think we were both wondering the same thing. Was this woman a bit crazy?

  “Are you both suddenly mute?” We look back at the woman and her smile seems to only grow more vivid. “You act as if no one has ever said a kind word to you.” When neither of us respond her eyes grow narrow, almost as if disappointment sets in. “The two of you are coming over to my place for dinner tonight, and you’re gonna tell me all about the people who have wronged you. Then at that point I’ll decide who I’m gonna throttle.”

  “Really, we can’t.” I finally speak. “But thanks for the offer.”

  She made a tsk sound and I know I had to have the strangest look on my face in reaction to it. I know this because she gave me one look and laughed. “Homemade chicken and noodles, mashed potatoes, and for dessert cinnamon bread with a glazed frosting.” Katelynn’s stomach picks that very moment to growl, and I hang my head trying to fight my smile. “See, the child’s stomach is now happy. Five-thirty, and bring only yourselves.”

  She didn’t even wait for us to respond before stepping back inside her apartment and closing the door.

  “What just happened?” I mumble the words and Katelynn instantly bends at the waist and begins to laugh. “Were we just bulldozed by a sweet little grandma?”

  “I heard that.” Katelynn stands tall, her eyes growing wide as she stares ahead at the closed door where the voice had just came from. “And to answer your question, yes, you were most definitely bulldozed. Five-thirty, and not a moment later.”

  I watch as my sister nods at the door almost like she felt that the woman, whose name we still did not know, could actually see her. Then, before I could call her out on it she carefully began stepping backward toward our apartment, her stare still focused on the door ahead.

  “You can’t be—”

  “Shhh.” She gives me a serious look as she lifts her hand placing her finger firmly to her lips. Then suddenly she points toward the door and narrows her brows only making the last five minute more humorous.

  I lean past her still trying my very best to hold back my laughter and unlock the door. Once we step inside Katelynn then turns to face me. “She’s funny,” she whispers.

  “Why are you whispering?” When I say this louder than she thinks I should she once again shushes me. “What is wrong with you?” I ask, only this time much lower, to appease her.

  “She’ll hear us.”

  “Damn,” I add in amazement. “Had I known all it would take to get you to behave was to meet the lady across the hall, I would have walked over and knocked on her door weeks ago.”

  “Whatever.” She waves me off. “I’m gonna go shower and find something to wear for later.”
/>   “Wait, what?”

  “For dinner.” She gives me a dismissive wave as she starts to walk away. “There is no way I’m not showing up. I swear that woman has super powers. And seriously, homemade food,” she looks back over her shoulder, “we are so not missing that.”

  “Hey I make homemade food.” I fake offense.

  “Macaroni and cheese with fish sticks does not classify as homemade.” She doesn’t even pause this time before disappearing into her room and closing the door behind me.

  Martha Morrison, that is the name of our newfound friend. She’s a widow, no children, and carries some sass beneath that sweet exterior. She’d made quite an impression on Katelynn, and I won’t lie, on me, too. In the first week after meeting her there wasn’t a day that went by that she didn’t either invite us to dinner or knock on our door with something freshly baked to spoil us. It was nice to have someone else beside Katelynn and myself that seemed to care.

  I’d come home from my job at Portland’s to find my sister camped out at Martha’s. It touched my heart to see the two of them sitting on the couch side by side as Martha attempted to teach Katelynn to crochet.

  For the first time I felt like everything was right. Though my job wasn’t one to brag about it did give me the money we needed to slide by. I’d get a better one later, maybe one that paid a little more, and allowed me to spoil my sister every once in a while. I won’t lie, I dream of being able to take her someplace amazing on vacation. A place she’ll remember forever, and the memories we’d create would last a lifetime.

  There was this amazing thing about my sister though, she never once made me feel like what we had wasn’t enough. Nothing in our apartment matched, our couch had a hole in the cushion that we hid beneath a large blanket we threw over it. Our bedrooms consisted of beds alone and nothing more. No dressers or fancy pictures decorating the walls. Yet it was enough.

  We had one another, and now we had a sweet little woman that took the two of us in and treated us almost as if we were the grandchildren she’d never had. I think Katelynn and I have come to the realization that we were blessed. Throughout all the hard times we’ve faced here we are together and happy.

  All the material things in life would come in time. One day we’d have a decent place, with decent furniture. None of those things truly mattered though, not when we have one another.

  Chapter 7

  Alec

  “You just planning on working your life away?”

  I don’t even look up to the sound of my father’s voice. It had been almost three weeks since Mandy broke my heart and took away the son I thought was mine.

  “You need to move on from this.”

  This time I do look up from my desk and give my father a look of irritation.

  Lawrence D. Reynolds, astounding surgeon, the top of his field. He was strong and powerful, with hands blessed by angels, or so most say. If you didn’t know him you would look at him and think he was nothing more than an arrogant man with little to no compassion, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. My father had a heart of gold, he was selfless and loyal. I know he meant well, I know that seeing me in this form, broken and hardened by the wrongs I’d been dealt had to be one of the most difficult things for him. But I didn’t need anyone to fix me. I didn’t need the healing powers of him or my mother because to be honest, they wouldn’t touch this ache inside me.

  I now knew that Caden was not my son, that had been proven by a DNA test Mandy willingly had done. This knowledge though, this solid confirmation— didn’t take the pain away. I’d gone to bed every single night since I was given that document from the hospital feeling lonely and heartbroken.

  I missed Caden, I missed the way he’d reach for me the moment he saw me like I was all he wanted. “I know I need to move on, but it’s not as easy as it would seem.”

  He steps further into the room and I look away from his kind eyes. They only threatened to make me break and I was done falling.

  “I’ll be fine,” I assure him, looking back toward my work. “I don’t need anyone checking up on me, or worrying.”

  “Alec.” I can hear the concern in his voice.

  “I said I’ll be fine.” I lift my head just enough to look at him once more. “This is the time for me to focus on my business. It’s the time for me to strive and build an empire. I’m already halfway there, and with this deal I have in the works, I’ll be exactly where I want to be this time next month.”

  I could see the hesitation in his eyes, the need to push for more, only he simply nods his head before turning to leave.

  The longer I sat there the harder it became to focus. The only thing that seems to be running throughout my mind is the idea that another man was fathering the child that should be mine. I keep picturing him holding Caden as they smile at one another the same way he and I used to. And each time I felt as if someone were stabbing me in the heart all over again.

  I stand abruptly from my desk and grab my suit jacket and keys. I had to get out of here, I felt the walls were closing in around me. I need to forget, and my father is right, I need to move on.

  Stepping outside my building onto the streets of the busy city I look around, still unsure exactly where it is I’m going, until the sound of a woman laughing gains my attention. I look to my left just as a man backs a woman up against the wall about twenty feet away and whispers something in her ear. Obvious lust pools between them as she slips her hand between their bodies, and when the man groans I know exactly where it has landed.

  My own pulse quickens when I grow even more determined to let go of the hell I’ve found myself in.

  Lifting my hand to my lips I whistle loudly, stepping up to the curb. Cabs fight to be the first one to pull up to the curb and I slip inside the nearest one. “Where to, sir?”

  “The nearest club.” I look to my right and watch the same couple from moments ago. The way the woman now had her head thrown back, her mouth hanging slightly open as the man kissed along her jaw seemed to excite me. He tugs on her hair and her head jerks making my cock jump in my pants. The way he controlled her, took charge, and practically demanded what he needed inflicts such an excitement inside me. One I didn’t know lived there.

  I continue to focus on them as the cab pulls away until I can no longer see them through the back window. This was it, my time to let go. If it was sex and demands that got me there, then so be it. I didn’t need love or soothing, all I needed was a willing woman and a private room.

  The drive through the city did nothing to ease this urge inside me. It only managed to feed it. I was hungry as fuck for a release, and with each moment that passes that hunger only grows deeper and more powerful.

  “Here we are, sir.” The cab driver slows to a stop.

  Erotic Nights, the blue neon light above the solid black door reads. There were only three elongated windows in front, but they were darkened by such a deep shade of tint that it wasn’t possible to see what was inside.

  “You been here before?” I ask, my hand resting upon that door handle.

  “No sir.” The younger man behind the wheel states as he too looks toward the building. “But I’ve brought a few men here that seem to be from your same class. I figured you would want a place of privacy and standards versus a club with drunk college boys.”

  “I appreciate that,” I say, still looking ahead. I was intrigued by the name alone.

  Reaching into the pocket of my jacket I pull out two twenties and hand them to the man. “Keep the change.” I hear his thankful words as I climb out of the cab and close the door behind me. I had a feeling this experience would be one I would never forget.

  “I’ve never seen you here before,” I remain poised upon the stool, my elbows resting on the bar before me. One hand held my second glass of whiskey while my third glass waited before me. I could smell the flowery fragrance of the woman next to me, yet I continue to act uninterested in her company. But to be honest my hands tingled to touch her, to take
what I crave.

  “What’s your name, handsome?” she purred, and on any other day I would find her voice annoying. Yet today, I was on a mission.

  “I’m sure you're not really interested in my name.” I finally look over in her direction. Her hair was red and glossy, shining in the light of the club. I knew the color wasn’t natural, but it was a flattering shade nonetheless. The emerald color of her eyes I’ll admit is mesmerizing. “Am I right?”

  She offers a flirtatious little shrug, leaning in closer to brush my arm with her chest. Breasts that were pushed up, front and center, practically fully on display had it not been for the very thin, sheer top she wore over what looked like a skimpy bra.

  “I don’t know.” Her eyes scan my chest, and then come back up to meet my own. “It might be nice to be able to whisper your name when you’re doing all the nasty things to me that I’ve been imagining since the moment I noticed you sitting here.”

  I could feel a smile tugging at the corner of my lips because I’ll admit, she was sly. “And what makes you think I’ll be the one giving?” I taunt back. “It could be you knelt before me as I’m on the receiving end of that smart mouth of yours.”

  Her tongue traced over the bright red lipstick that covers her lips. Almost instantly my cock hardens as I picture them wrapped securely around me. “I have no problem with that,” she assures me. “In fact, I’m willing to do whatever it is you ask of me.”

  This intrigued me.

  “We could go upstairs.” With a gentle nod of her head I follow her movements. “See that room up there?” It’s now my turn to nod. “It’s the VIP room, yes it is a little expensive to occupy for the evening, but something assures me you aren’t one to worry about the cost. It does, however, provide privacy,” I then look back at her, “to do whatever we choose.”

  “Is that right?”

  I realize I need to track down that cab driver and give him a bigger tip than a twenty for dropping me on the doorstep of this place. It was exactly what I needed to release this pent up energy pooling inside me.