Slave Narratives

by William L. Andrews

  It is possible the circumstance I am going to relate will not gain credit with many; but this I know, that the joy and comfort it conveyed to me, cannot be expressed and only conceived by those who have experienced the like.

  I was one day in a most delightful frame of mind; my heart so overflowed with love and gratitude to the Author of all my comforts.—I was so drawn out of myself, and so fill’d and awed by the Presence of God that I saw (or thought I saw) light inexpressible dart down from heaven upon me, and shone around me for the space of a minute.—I continued on my knees, and joy unspeakable took possession of my soul.— The peace and serenity which filled my mind after this was wonderful, and cannot be told.—I would not have changed situations, or been any one but myself for the whole world. I blest God for my poverty, that I had no worldly riches or grandeur to draw my heart from Him. I wish’d at that time, if it had been possible for me, to have continued on that spot for ever. I felt an unwillingness in myself to have any thing more to do with the world, or to mix with society again. I seemed to possess a full assurance that my sins were forgiven me. I went home all my way rejoicing, and this text of scripture came full upon my mind. “And I will make an everlasting covenant with them, that I will not turn away from them, to do them good; but I will put my fear in their hearts that they shall not depart from me.” The first opportunity that presented itself, I went to my old school-master, and made known to him the happy state of my soul who joined with me in praise to God for his mercy to me the vilest of sinners.—I was now perfectly easy, and had hardly a wish to make beyond what I possess’d, when my temporal comforts were all blasted by the death of my dear and worthy Master Mr. Freelandhouse, who was taken from this world rather suddenly: he had but a short illness, and died of a fever. I held his hand in mine when he departed; he told me he had given me my freedom. I was at liberty to go where I would.—He added that he had always pray’d for me and hop’d I should be kept unto the end. My master left me by his will ten pounds, and my freedom.

  I found that if he had lived ’twas his intention to take me with him to Holland, as he had often mention’d me to some friends of his there that were desirous to see me; but I chose to continue with my Mistress who was as good to me as if she had been my mother.

  The loss of Mr. Freelandhouse distress’d me greatly, but I was render’d still more unhappy by the clouded and perplex’d situation of my mind; the great enemy of my soul being ready to torment me, would present my own misery to me in such striking light, and distress me with doubts, fears, and such a deep sense of my own unworthiness, that after all the comfort and encouragement I had received, I was often tempted to believe I should be a Cast-away at last.—The more I saw of the Beauty and Glory of God, the more I was humbled under a sense of my own vileness. I often repair’d to my old place of prayer; I seldom came away without consolation. One day this Scripture was wonderfully apply’d to my mind, “And ye are compleat in Him which is the Head of all principalities and power.”—The Lord was pleas’d to comfort me by the application of many gracious promises at times when I was ready to sink under my troubles. “Wherefore He is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by Him seeing He ever liveth to make intercession for them. Hebrews x. ver. 14. For by one offering He hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified.”

  My kind, indulgent Mistress liv’d but two years after my Master. Her death was a great affliction to me. She left five sons, all gracious young men, and Ministers of the Gospel.— I continued with them all, one after another, till they died; they liv’d but four years after their parents. When it pleased God to take them to Himself, I was left quite destitute, without a friend in the world. But I who had so often experienced the Goodness of GOD, trusted in Him to do what He pleased with me.—In this helpless condition I went in the wood to prayer as usual; and tho’ the snow was a considerable height, I was not sensible of cold, or any other inconveniency.—At times indeed when I saw the world frowning round me, I was tempted to think that the LORD had forsaken me. I found great relief from the contemplation of these words in Isaiah xlix. v. 16. “Behold I have graven thee on the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.” And very many comfortable promises were sweetly applied to me. The lxxxix. Psalm and 34th verse, “My covenant will I not break nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lips.” Hebrews, chap. xvi. v. 17, 18. Phillipians, chap. i. v. 6; and several more.

  As I had now lost all my dear and valued friends every place in the world was alike to me. I had for a great while entertain’d a desire to come to ENGLAND.—I imagined that all the Inhabitants of this Island were Holy; because all those that had visited my Master from thence were good, (Mr. Whitefield was his particular friend) and the authors of the books that had been given me were all English. But above all places in the world I wish’d to see Kidderminster, for I could not but think that on the spot where Mr. Baxter had liv’d, and preach’d, the people must be all Righteous.

  The situation of my affairs requir’d that I should tarry a little longer in NEW-YORK, as I was something in debt, and was embarrass’d how to pay it.—About this time a young Gentleman that was a particular acquaintance of one of my young Master’s, pretended to be a friend to me, and promis’d to pay my debts, which was three pounds; and he assur’d me he would never expect the money again.—But, in less than a month, he came and demanded it; and when I assur’d him I had nothing to pay, he threatened to sell me.—Though I knew he had no right to do that, yet as I had no friend in the world to go to, it alarm’d me greatly.—At length he purpos’d my going a Privateering, that I might by these means, be enabled to pay him, to which I agreed.—Our Captain’s name was—— ——I went in Character of Cook to him.—Near St. Domingo we came up to five French ships, Merchant-men.— We had a very smart engagement that continued from eight in the morning till three in the afternoon; when victory declar’d on our side.—Soon after this we were met by three English ships which join’d us, and that encourag’d us to attack a fleet of 36 Ships.—We boarded the three first and then follow’d the others; and had the same success with twelve; but the rest escap’d us.—There was a great deal of blood shed, and I was near death several times, but the LORD preserv’d me.

  I met with many enemies, and much persecution, among the sailors; one of them was particularly unkind to me, and studied ways to vex and teaze me.—I can’t help mentioning one circumstance that hurt me more than all the rest, which was, that he snatched a book out of my hand that I was very fond of, and used frequently to amuse myself with, and threw it into the sea.—But what is remarkable he was the first that was killed in our engagement.—I don’t pretend to say that this happen’d because he was not my friend: but I thought ’twas a very awful Providence to see how the enemies of the LORD are cut off.

  Our Captain was a cruel hard-hearted man. I was excessively sorry for the prisoners we took in general; but the pitiable case of one young Gentleman grieved me to the heart.—He appear’d very amiable; was strikingly handsome. Our Captain took four thousand pounds from him; but that did not satisfy him, as he imagin’d he was possess’d of more, and had somewhere conceal’d it, so that the Captain threatened him with death, at which he appear’d in the deepest distress, and took the buckles out of his shoes, and untied his hair, which was very fine, and long; and in which several very valuable rings were fasten’d. He came into the Cabbin to me, and in the most obliging terms imaginable ask’d for something to eat and drink; which when I gave him, he was so thankful and pretty in his manner that my heart bled for him; and I heartily wish’d that I could have spoken in any language in which the ship’s crew would not have understood me; that I might have let him know his danger; for I heard the Captain say he was resolv’d upon his death; and he put his barbarous design into execution, for he took him on shore with one of the sailors, and there they shot him.

  This circumstance affected me exceedingly, I could not put him out of my mind a long while.—When we return’d to NEW-YOR
K the Captain divided the prize-money among us, that we had taken. When I was call’d upon to receive my part, I waited upon Mr. ——, (the Gentleman that paid my debt and was the occasion of my going abroad) to know if he chose to go with me to receive my money or if I should bring him what I owed.—He chose to go with me; and when the Captain laid my money on the table (’twas an hundred and thirty-five pounds) I desir’d Mr. —— to take what I was indebted to him; and he swept it all into his handkerchief, and would never be prevail’d on to give a farthing of money, nor any thing at all beside.—And he likewise secur’d a hogshead of sugar which was my due from the same ship. The Captain was very angry with him for this piece of cruelty to me, as was every other person that heard it.—But I have reason to believe (as he was one of the Principal Merchants in the city) that he transacted business for him and on that account did not chuse to quarrel with him.

  At this time a very worthy Gentleman, a Wine Merchant, his name Dunscum, took me under his protection, and would have recovered my money for me if I had chose it; but I told him to let it alone; that I wou’d rather be quiet.—I believed that it would not prosper with him, and so it happen’d, for by a series of losses and misfortunes he became poor, and was soon after drowned, as he was on a party of pleasure.—The vessel was driven out to sea, and struck against a rock by which means every soul perished.

  I was very much distress’d when I heard it, and felt greatly for his family who were reduc’d to very low circumstances.— I never knew how to set a proper value on money. If I had but a little meat and drink to supply the present necessaries of life, I never wish’d for more; and when I had any I always gave it if ever I saw an object in distress. If it was not for my dear Wife and Children I should pay as little regard to money now as I did at that time.—I continu’d some time with Mr. Dunscum as his servant; he was very kind to me.—But I had a vast inclination to visit ENGLAND, and wish’d continually that it would please Providence to make a clear way for me to see this Island. I entertain’d a notion that if I could get to ENGLAND I should never more experience either cruelty or ingratitude, so that I was very desirous to get among Christians. I knew Mr. Whitefield very well.—I had heard him preach often at NEW-YORK. In this disposition I listed in the twenty-eighth Regiment of Foot, who were design’d for Martinico in the late war.—We went in Admiral Pocock’s fleet from New-York to Barbadoes; from thence to Martinico.—When that was taken we proceeded to the Havannah, and took that place likewise.—There I got discharged.

  I was then worth about thirty pounds, but I never regarded money in the least, nor would I tarry to receive my prize-money least I should lose my chance of going to England.— I went with the Spanish prisoners to Spain; and came to Old-England with the English prisoners.—I cannot describe my joy when we were within sight of Portsmouth. But I was astonished when we landed to hear the inhabitants of that place curse and swear, and otherwise profane. I expected to find nothing but goodness, gentleness and meekness in this Christian Land, I then suffer’d great perplexities of mind.

  I enquir’d if any serious Christian people resided there, the woman I made this enquiry of, answer’d me in the affirmative; and added that she was one of them.—I was heartily glad to hear her say so. I thought I could give her my whole heart: she kept a Public-House. I deposited with her all the money that I had not an immediate occasion for; as I thought it would be safer with her.—It was 25 guineas but 6 of them I desired her to lay out to the best advantage, to buy me some shirts, hat and some other necessaries. I made her a present of a very handsome large looking glass that I brought with me from Martinico, in order to recompence her for the trouble I had given her. I must do this woman the justice to acknowledge that she did lay out some little for my use, but the 19 guineas and part of the 6, with my watch, she would not return, but denied that I ever gave it her.

  I soon perceived that I was got among bad people, who defrauded me of my money and watch; and that all my promis’d happiness was blasted, I had no friend but GOD and I pray’d to Him earnestly. I could scarcely believe it possible that the place where so many eminent Christians had lived and preached could abound with so much wickedness and deceit. I thought it worse than Sodom (considering the great advantages they have) I cryed like a child and that almost continually: at length GOD heard my prayers and rais’d me a friend indeed.

  This publican had a brother who lived on Portsmouth-common, his wife was a very serious good woman.—When she heard of the treatment I had met with, she came and enquired into my real situation and was greatly troubled at the ill usage I had received, and took me home to her own house.—I began now to rejoice, and my prayer was turned into praise. She made use of all the arguments in her power to prevail on her who had wronged me, to return my watch and money, but it was to no purpose, as she had given me no receipt and I had nothing to show for it, I could not demand it.—My good friend was excessively angry with her and obliged her to give me back four guineas, which she said she gave me out of charity: Though in fact it was my own, and much more. She would have employed some rougher means to oblige her to give up my money, but I would not suffer her, let it go says I “My GOD is in heaven.” Still I did not mind my loss in the least; all that grieved me was, that I had been disappointed in finding some Christian friends, with whom I hoped to enjoy a little sweet and comfortable society.

  I thought the best method that I could take now, was to go to London, and find out Mr. Whitefield, who was the only living soul I knew in England, and get him to direct me to some way or other to procure a living without being troublesome to any Person.—I took leave of my Christian friend at Portsmouth, and went in the stage to London.—A creditable tradesman in the City, who went up with me in the stage, offer’d to show me the way to Mr. Whitefield’s Tabernacle. Knowing that I was a perfect stranger, I thought it very kind, and accepted his offer; but he obliged me to give him half-a-crown for going with me, and likewise insisted on my giving him five shillings more for conducting me to Dr. Gifford’s Meeting.

  I began now to entertain a very different idea of the inhabitants of England than what I had figur’d to myself before I came amongst them.—Mr. Whitefield receiv’d me very friendly, was heartily glad to see me, and directed me to a proper place to board and lodge in Petticoat-Lane, till he could think of some way to settle me in, and paid for my lodging, and all my expences. The morning after I came to my new lodging, as I was at breakfast with the gentlewoman of the house, I heard the noise of some looms over our heads: I enquir’d what it was; she told me a person was weaving silk.—I express’d a great desire to see it, and ask’d if I might: She told me she would go up with me; she was sure I should be very welcome. She was as good as her word, and as soon as we enter’d the room, the person that was weaving look’d about, and smiled upon us, and I loved her from that moment.—She ask’d me many questions, and I in turn talk’d a great deal to her. I found she was a member of Mr. Allen’s Meeting, and I begun to entertain a good opinion of her, though I was almost afraid to indulge this inclination, least she should prove like all the rest I had met with at Portsmouth, &c. and which had almost given me a dislike to all white women.—But after a short acquaintance I had the happiness to find she was very different, and quite sincere, and I was not without hope that she entertain’d some esteem for me. We often went together to hear Dr. Gifford, and as I had always a propensity to relieve every object in distress as far as I was able, I used to give to all that complain’d to me; sometimes half a guinea at a time, as I did not understand the real value of it.—This gracious, good woman took great pains to correct and advise me in that and many other respects.

  After I had been in London about six weeks I was recommended to the notice of some of my late Master Mr. Freelandhouse’s acquaintance, who had heard him speak frequently of me. I was much persuaded by them to go to Holland.— My Master lived there before he bought me, and used to speak of me so respectfully among his friends there, that it raised in them a curiosity to see
me; particularly the Gentlemen engaged in the Ministry, who expressed a desire to hear my experience and examine me. I found that it was my good old Master’s design that I should have gone if he had lived; for which reason I resolved upon going to Holland, and informed my dear friend Mr. Whitefield of my intention; he was much averse to my going at first, but after I gave him my reasons appeared very well satisfied. I likewise informed my Betty (the good woman that I have mentioned above) of my determination to go to Holland and I told her that I believed she was to be my Wife: that if it was the LORD’s Will I desired it, but not else.—She made me very little answer, but has since told me, she did not think it at that time.

  I embarked at Tower-wharf at four o’clock in the morning, and arriv’d at Amsterdam the next day by three o’clock in the afternoon. I had several letters of recommendation to my old master’s friends, who receiv’d me very graciously. Indeed, one of the chief Ministers was particularly good to me; he kept me at his house a long while, and took great pleasure in asking questions, which I answer’d with delight, being always ready to say, “Come unto me all ye that fear GOD, and I will tell what he hath done for my Soul.” I cannot but admire the footsteps of Providence; astonish’d that I should be so wonderfully preserved! Though the Grandson of a King, I have wanted bread, and should have been glad of the hardest crust I ever saw. I who, at home, was surrounded and guarded by slaves, so that no indifferent person might approach me, and clothed with gold, have been inhumanly threatened with death; and frequently wanted clothing to defend me from the inclemency of the weather; yet I never murmured, nor was I discontented.—I am willing, and even desirous to be counted as nothing, a stranger in the world, and a pilgrim here; for “I know that my REDEEMER liveth,” and I’m thankful for every trial and trouble that I’ve met with, as I am not without hope that they have been all sanctified to me.