The Key Lime Crime

by Lucy Burdette

  “We knew Sloan didn’t kill her,” Nathan said. “He had a dozen witnesses confirming that he’d spent the late afternoon and early evening drinking beer at the General Horseplay Bar. Most of them were intoxicated, but all the regulars saw him, so he was off the hook.”

  “When we heard that Cheryl hadn’t told everything she knew about that night and figured out that the blue prayer bead I found on the sidewalk probably belonged to a woman, I was almost certain the killer had to be the Blue Heaven pastry chef,” I added.

  Nathan grimaced. “We had Bee in the station early this morning for a long chat. She admitted that she came to Claudette’s home the night of the murder to talk about getting hired as her second-in-command at Au Citron Vert.”

  “She didn’t want to talk about any of that when I visited,” I said.

  Nathan rolled his eyes. “And that is why we beg civilians to leave interviewing to the professionals. Anyway, she pumped herself up that night to tell Claudette that she was the best pastry chef in town. Instead of having that conversation and coming away with a new job, she found Claudette dead on the porch. She panicked and ran off, sure that police would conclude that she was the killer. In her haste, she caught her necklace on a palmetto branch and it broke. Partway down the street, she realized the necklace was gone. This discovery would confirm that she’d been at the scene of the crime, so she came back to find it. Unfortunately, you and Miss Gloria and my mother had arrived at the house, and she saw you picking up the beads.”

  I gulped. “So she was the one who tossed our houseboat?”

  Nathan nodded. “She really panicked once the police talked with her the first time, and came to the houseboat hoping to retrieve the necklace. She found the beads in the bowl on your bureau, although she must have dropped one in her hurry.”

  “And the kitty found it!” crowed Miss Gloria. “I knew he was a winner the minute I saw him in the bushes.”

  “What about the pie smashed on the window?” I asked, frowning.

  “She apologized for that,” Nathan said. “She hoped to throw us off the scent. Apparently she spent some time thinking about which piece of pie it should be. Should she throw her own pie in order to prove she wasn’t the one who did it, because no chef would throw her own pastry? Or should she throw Claudette’s version?”

  Nathan wrinkled his nose as if to say he’d never truly understand the minds of the food-obsessed.

  Then he heaved a big sigh. “Hayley, do you remember that you were worried about someone you saw on the Florida website who had been released or escaped from prison?”

  “Of course I remember. And it wasn’t one person, it was hundreds. It makes my blood run cold to think about people out there that you put away that are waiting all through their prison terms to pay you back when they are released.”

  “Here, here,” said my mother-in-law. “And I have access to more material than you do. Which I am, by the way, not intending to share.”

  “I should hope not,” said Nathan. “As you can see, this case has nothing to do with my work. It does nobody any good to worry about consequences of this job. Either you do it or you don’t. And if I’m going to do it, I’m going to do it well. And that means I will solve ugly cases and hopefully put some bad people in jail.” He shrugged his big muscular shoulders. “It’s part of the job. It’s part of the deal. It’s part of being in a cop’s family.”

  Sam came to the door of the houseboat. “Soup’s on,” he said. “If everyone wants to come grab a plate, we’ll serve supper inside and eat out here. We’ve got platters of caprese salad with mozzarella, tomatoes, and slices of grilled steak, along with a watermelon salad, and a basket of baguette slices from the Old Town Bakery. And I made a chocolate cake, figuring all of you are sick to death of key lime pie.”

  “That sounds amazing,” I said, realizing I hadn’t eaten last night. And had only nibbled at the cheese toast from the Coffee Queen. “You never told us what happened to the wedding party. We ruined both of the menus by driving off in your van. When did you figure out we were gone? How did the bride react?”

  “The groom’s father came running over to tell us that the bartender disappeared and the guests were going crazy without any cocktails. I was so annoyed, because we were paying Christopher top dollar,” said my mother. “And by then Sam noticed that you ladies weren’t delivering any of the stuff we’d asked you for. So we both left our posts and came over to see what was up. The van was gone, and I had the worst feeling that something terrible had happened to you. I called Nathan and Steve and then dialed 911 for good measure.”

  “Meanwhile, with the plans for the wedding party shattered, the groom took the opportunity to announce to the bride that he’d had cold feet for ages. He finally got up the nerve to tell her the wedding was off. Then he and his attendants bolted for Duval Street,” said Sam. “The whole night was a disaster. But in the end, your kidnapping probably saved them from years of unhappy married life and an expensive divorce.” He chuckled. “And a couple of our helpers had the good sense to wrap up some of that beautiful filet, and we stashed it in our fridge. So dinner tonight is on the father of the un-bride.”

  “Your dinner sounds so good,” said Miss Gloria, dislodging the kitten from her lap and heading inside. “I can’t wait another minute.” Helen and my parents followed her into the kitchen.

  “Save a little for us,” I called after them, then turned back to my husband. “I do understand that danger comes with being part of a cop’s family. It’s part of loving a great big lug like you, but it’s not the part I am happy about. And I’ll probably never get used to it. And I’ll certainly never stop worrying.”

  He cupped my face in his hands, gently, so he wouldn’t press the sore patches where the adhesive had torn the skin, and looked deeply into my eyes. “I understand that. I have another question,” he said.

  I nodded to let him know I’d answer anything.

  “Why in god’s name did you insist on investigating this murder when I asked—or rather, begged—you not to? It’s not that I want to control you. Really.” He ran a finger along my jawline, stopping at the bandage below my ear that covered the rawest patch of skin. “I was terrified you would get hurt. And you did. Can you understand how devastating that feels?”

  I closed my eyes, blinked them open. “I wanted so much for your mother to like me. More than Trudy. And she felt desperate to protect you by solving this murder. So I went along. I know that wanting her to love me is not a good reason, and not a fair hope, but you asked.”

  Nathan put a hand to his forehead. “Sweetheart, can’t you see it? She’s falling for you, hard. Exactly the way that I did.” He planted a sweet kiss on my lips. “You don’t need any more crazy shenanigans to make that happen, okay?”

  “One more question,” I said. “Since I’m realizing I don’t know everything about you like I thought I did. And realizing it’s not fair to make assumptions.”

  A pained look flitted over his face, as though he was expecting a topic he’d rather not discuss, but he smoothed it away quickly. “Hit me,” he said.

  “Here goes: would you mind if I hung something on our kitchen wall that said You Are the Icing on My Cupcake? Maybe with a couple of kittens playing with the cupcakes?”

  Nathan began to laugh, his shoulders shaking. “You are the icing on my cupcake. You’re the batter and the cake and the cupcake liners, too. You are everything to me, Hayley Snow. If you want to decorate our place—assuming we ever move in—in cat lady cute, and adopt all the felines at the shelter, that’s fine with me. As long as there’s a little room for me in your bed and at your table.”

  He grabbed me into a big hug, squeezing so hard I could hardly catch my breath. “And I plan to take you on a fabulous honeymoon later this year,” he added, holding me away so he could see my face. “Absolutely anywhere you want to go.”

  “Hmmm. Ever since Miss Gloria and I started watching Outlander, I’ve been itching to see Scotland.”

/>   Miss Gloria came out onto the deck with her plate. “Oh my word, are we going to Scotland? That is at the very tip top of my bucket list!” She set her plate down and picked up a magazine from the end table to fan her face. “I can’t wait to see all those redheaded men in skirts …”

  Recipes

  Cheese Puffs With Fig Jam

  These puffs are super-easy and always a big hit at parties. You may need to tell guests they are appetizers made of cheese, not cookies! If you prefer a zippy filling, use hot pepper jelly instead of the fig jam.

  Ingredients

  ½ pound sharp cheddar cheese, shredded

  ½ cup (1 stick) butter, unsalted

  1 cup flour

  Fig jam

  Preheat oven to 400.

  Mix first three ingredients thoroughly in food processor or by hand. Chill ½ hour. Roll into small balls and place on a cookie sheet covered with parchment. Bake five minutes.

  Remove pan from oven and make a depression in the top of each puff with the back of a spoon. Fill each depression with fig jam and continue baking until golden, about five more minutes.

  Alvina’s Crumb Cake

  My father did not cook much, but he was proud of the two recipes in his repertoire: a pie crust made with oil, and this coffee cake. I made a few tweaks to his recipe, including using cake flour, which makes a finer crumb. I also added butter and brown sugar to the topping, and reduced the oven temperature (I remember the cake often coming out crispy).

  Ingredients

  2 cups granulated sugar

  1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened

  4 cups flour, cake if you have it

  1 teaspoon cinnamon

  ½ cup brown sugar

  ¼ cup (½ stick) unsalted butter

  ⅓ cup additional flour

  4 heaping teaspoons baking powder

  3 beaten eggs

  1 cup milk

  1 teaspoon vanilla

  Preheat oven to 350.

  Pulse the sugar, 2 sticks of butter, and flour together. (I used a stand mixer—small lumps are acceptable, even encouraged.) Remove one cup of this mixture for topping and place in another bowl. Into that mixture, using either a pastry cutter or a fork, cut cinnamon, ½ stick of butter, and brown sugar. Set aside.

  To the original batter, add baking powder and eggs. Mix well.

  Mix in the milk and vanilla—do not overbeat.

  Pour the batter into a well-buttered 9 × 13–inch pan and sprinkle the reserved cinnamon crumbs over top. Bake 35 or so minutes, or until a toothpick stuck in the middle comes out dry.

  This is also delicious with a handful of fresh blueberries folded in before baking.

  Cheryl’s Chai Snickerdoodles

  Cheryl served these in her backyard when Hayley and Helen and Miss Gloria came by to interview her about the murder. The chai spice gives them a special kick.

  Ingredients

  ¼ teaspoon salt

  1½ cups sugar

  2½ teaspoons baking powder (low-sodium works fine)

  2¾ cups flour

  1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened

  2 eggs, room temperature

  For the topping:

  2 teaspoons cinnamon

  1 teaspoon chai spice

  3 tablespoons additional sugar

  Preheat oven to 375.

  Sift dry ingredients (salt, sugar, low-sodium baking powder, and flour) together. Set aside.

  Using either a beater or a stand mixer, beat the butter until light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs one at a time, about 1 to 2 minutes after each addition.

  Slowly mix in the dry ingredients—don’t beat too long or the cookies will be tough.

  Divide dough into two parts, roll into logs, and wrap with parchment paper. This isn’t a beauty contest, so no need to be too fussy about your logs, as you’ll be rolling the cookies too.

  Refrigerate two hours or freeze one hour.

  Mix the cinnamon, chai spice, and remaining sugar on a plate. Cut the logs into one-inch pieces and form them into balls. Roll the balls in the cinnamon mixture and place them on 2 parchment-covered baking sheets. You should end up with about 2 dozen cookies—big ones!

  Bake 8–10 minutes, removing them from the oven as soon as the first cracks appear.

  Knockoff Baby’s Salad With Italian Dressing a la Clemente’s Trolley Pizzeria

  This dressing is based on a salad Hayley is mad for at her favorite pizza place in Key West, called Clemente’s Trolley Pizzeria. She always orders Baby’s salad to go with her pizza, and so do I. The secret to the salad is homemade Italian dressing.

  Ingredients

  For the salad:

  Romaine lettuce (or mixed greens with arugula)

  Tomatoes

  Carrots, shredded

  Red onions

  Garbanzos, drained and rinsed

  Blue cheese

  Avocado

  Cucumbers

  For the dressing:

  1 teaspoon dried parsley

  2 teaspoons dried minced onion

  1 teaspoon dried basil

  ½ teaspoon dried oregano

  ½ teaspoon garlic powder

  ¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

  ½ teaspoon crushed red pepper or to taste, if you want a little zip

  ¼ teaspoon salt

  2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese

  1 teaspoon honey or sugar

  ¼ cup white wine vinegar

  2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice

  ¾ cup extra-virgin olive oil

  Chop and combine the salad ingredients to form a salad. For the dressing, mix the spices, salt, and cheese with the honey or sugar, vinegar, and lemon juice in a glass jar and shake well. Add the olive oil and shake until well mixed. Dress the salad and toss well.

  Store any leftovers in the refrigerator.

  Eric’s Chicken and Stuffing Casserole for 160

  Cooking lunch for 160 people is not so easy, as I learned in the basement of the Metropolitan Community Church, helping my friend Eric Nichols at Cooking With Love. This is the first meal on which I worked as sous-chef.

  40 pounds cooked diced chicken

  16 pounds stuffing mix, such as Pepperidge Farm or Stove Top

  16 pounds condensed cream of chicken soup

  16 pounds condensed cream of celery soup

  40 cups chicken broth—can be unsalted

  24 12-ounce cans evaporated milk

  Preheat ovens to 350.

  Layer diced chicken in eight large (12 × 24-inch) greased foil pans. Spread stuffing mix over top. Mix together the two soups, broth, and evaporated milk. Distribute this liquid over the eight pans of chicken and stuffing. Stir lightly so that the liquid mixture saturates the chicken and stuffing layers. Bake 35 to 40 minutes until casseroles are bubbly.

  David Sloan’s Key Lime Martini

  The fictional David Sloan served up these little gems at his book signing at Key West Island Bookstore. The recipe can be found in the real David Sloan’s cookbook The Key West Key Lime Pie Cookbook. I’ve reprinted it here with his permission.

  2 ounces Stoli Vanil

  1 ounce Licor 43

  1.5 ounces heavy cream or half-and-half

  1 tablespoon fresh key lime juice, plus a little extra

  Crushed graham crackers

  Add the first four ingredients into a shaker filled with ice. Dip a martini glass into a plate containing key lime juice and then into the crushed graham crackers. Strain vodka mixture into the glass. Enjoy!

  Lucy Burdette’s Decadent Key Lime Parfait

  This dessert can be made in one glass bowl, or if you prefer individual servings, use martini glasses or small mason jars. Either way, the layers will show through the glass and your guests will swoon!

  Ingredients

  5 whole graham crackers, crushed, to make about 1 cup

  2 tablespoons butter, melted

  1 tablespoon brown sugar

  2 cups whipping cream


  ¼ cup powdered sugar

  1 teaspoon vanilla

  ½ cup key lime juice (about 1 pound key limes)

  14-ounce can sweetened condensed milk

  key lime zest (optional)

  Preheat oven to 350.

  Crush the graham crackers. (Easy tip: place the graham crackers in a ziplock bag and roll them to crumbs with a rolling pin.) Mix the crumbs with the melted butter and brown sugar. Spread this on a baking sheet covered with foil or parchment paper and bake 10 minutes or until golden. Let cool, then break into crumbs again.

  Meanwhile, whip the cream with the powdered sugar and vanilla. Set half of this aside for the topping.

  Juice the limes and strain out any seeds.

  Mix the condensed milk with the lime juice. The citrus will cause the milk to thicken. Gently stir in half the whipped cream mixture.

  Layer some of the baked crumbs into eight parfait or martini glasses, then add some of the key lime mixture; repeat, setting aside a few crumbs for topping. When all ingredients are distributed, top with dollops of remaining whipped cream. Sprinkle with remaining crumbs and zested lime if you want a stronger flavor.

  Caprese Salad With Grilled Flank Steak

  Sam serves this light but delicious supper at the end of The Key Lime Crime. He used leftover grilled filet from the ruined wedding, but you can grill your own steak—or use leftovers. Flank steak or filet is probably the best choice.

  1 pound flank steak

  Salad dressing of your choice

  1 bunch butter lettuce, or mixed greens if you prefer

  1 box fresh cherry tomatoes or 2–3 ripe large tomatoes

  8 ounces fresh mozzarella balls, such as bocconcini

  8–10 leaves fresh basil

  1 ripe avocado, sliced

  Olives of your choice

  Marinate steak in the dressing of your choice 2–4 hours. The knockoff Baby’s Italian salad dressing would be delicious, or try a balsamic vinaigrette.

  Grill steak to medium-rare, let rest a few minutes, then slice on the diagonal.