Hidden Voices (Tess Schafer-Medium)

by Deborah Hughes

  “Yes, he was someone’s son and it’s sad for them to lose him. But he chose to be there that day and do what he did to bring about the result that he experienced. It was his life work and now he’s done.”

  “His life’s work?” Her curiosity roused, the tears halted and Mary lifted her head to look at me. “What does that mean?”

  “For whatever reason, it was his fate to take part in that horrific drama. Maybe that was his reason for being born, to go through that moment in his life. Maybe it was God's plan for us to experience the things his actions have caused us to experience. Think about it…his actions and his death have affected many people…his family, his friends, his comrades, but also it affected you, your family, your friends and your comrades. The experience had a profound affect on all of you and what you all get out of it…whatever it is you learn from it…that is what makes his sacrifice worthwhile.”

  “Are you a therapist or something?” Mary eyed me critically, trying to process what I was telling her and not sure if any of it mattered or not.

  “No. But I underwent a year of therapy. Does that count?” I was trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere and it seemed to work. Mary actually gave a wobbly smile.

  “Why were you in therapy, if you don’t mind me asking?”

  “My husband and dog were killed by a drunk driver two years ago. I had a hard time accepting the actions of the drunkard who plowed into his car. I’ve since come to accept it was his fate that day to do what he did. I learned from the experience and others have learned from it as well. His wife and kids for instance.” The man was 43 years old. He had two children. A ten year old son and a twelve year old daughter. And now, two years later, I finally wondered how they were doing. I met them briefly when they came to my husband’s funeral. They didn’t stay long because I couldn’t deal with it. I was icy and unresponsive but that was because my heart had gone out to them and the pain stamped all over their faces. I couldn’t face their pain and deal with my own too. I couldn’t face those kids and the fact they had to grow up without their father.

  My eyes closed briefly as I wished away the sudden pang of hurt flowing through me. Surprisingly, I’d blotted out that memory until now. Funny how I hadn’t allowed myself to think about it. Probably because I had enough on my plate at the time. I found it interesting that the memory came to light, at this particular moment in time. Not even during therapy did I remember it. No, that was because I was too busy wallowing in memories of my life with Mike and Tootsie and how they were gone forever. Clinging to memories kept me solidly in a life that was gone. You cannot live in the past, it gets you nowhere.

  So here was a new revelation for me. I was glad to have the memory back, painful though it was, and I sent warm regards to his family, asking the angels to fill their spirits with a surge of love. From now on, I would focus on the present, look forward to the future and stop wallowing in the past. It was a resolution I found myself constantly reinstating for it was so darned difficult to do.

  “I’m so sorry, Tess.” Mary sniffed, pulled a twisted tissue from her pocket and wiped her nose. “Life sucks.”

  “Well, it can. It can also be pretty awesome.” Again I thought of Kade. Oh how I wanted to call him.

  “My father died of lung cancer three years ago. His health insurance wasn’t much help when it came to paying for his care. My mother never worked because she had five kids to stay home and take care of. Our whole family has struggled all our lives, it seems.” Her eyes drifted down to the stones paving the ground in front of us. They were stamped with a service member’s name, the military branch in which they served and the dates involved. “Two of my brothers live here in the local area and another one lives with my mother. My sister lives up north near the Canadian border. She and her husband are struggling. So are my brothers. If mom loses the house, I’m not sure who of the five of us will be in a position to help her.”

  “Are you only here to help out then? Do you actually live elsewhere?”

  “I’ve separated from my husband. He’s in Georgia with our two sons.” Her voice deepened with hurt and bitterness. “They are fourteen and sixteen and they have sided with him.” Her voice broke. “I’ve lost everything and now my mother is about to do the same.”

  “I’m so sorry, Mary.” We were silent for a moment then I said softly, “There’s a saying that I firmly believe in and I’d like to share it with you, ‘All obstacles are but stepping stones to a brighter future’. Don’t ask me where I heard that, I don’t know, but it’s something I’ve always believed. Of course, right after my husband’s death, I didn’t believe much of anything for a while. Now I know better.”

  Mary’s eyes lifted to mine, curiosity now more prevalent than pain. “How is it that you now know better?”

  “Well, I never thought I’d be happy ever again. And I am happy and you just don’t know how glad I am about that. You see, I also turned away from God for a while.”

  Mary nodded with understanding. “It’s our faith holding us together right now. For me and my mom anyway. My siblings couldn’t care less. They are too angry to be giving much thought to God.”

  I touched Mary’s hands which were still twisting together in her lap. They were very cold and stiff with tension. I tried to infuse some warmth into my gentle squeeze. “Things are going to get better, Mary. I just feel that so strongly right now.”

  “Are you psychic?”

  I laughed at that then regretted it because the brief flare of hope in her eyes immediately died out. I bit my lip, thought for a moment on how I wanted to respond then said softly, “I am a medium. I talk to the dead. I also converse with a spirit guide name Sheila. I feel her right now and she’s urging me to tell you that things will get better.” They would get better, I now believed, because the two of us had come together. Though how our meeting was going to solve Mary’s problems I hadn't a clue.

  “You talk to the dead? That’s amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who can do that.” She stared at me as if trying to find evidence of my claims. “Doesn’t it scare you?”

  “No. Spirits do not scare me. They are people like us after all.”

  “But aren’t some of them bad?”

  “I suppose so but I rely on God to protect me from them. My faith keeps me safe.”

  Mary nodded, accepting that answer. “I can understand that. I keep trying to hold the faith that God will help us through this mess but so far, nothing.” Mary heaved a long, heavy sigh.

  A wind kicked up just then and Mary shivered. She was wearing a sweater and although it was summer in Maine, it could still get quite cool in the afternoons and evenings. “I need to get home.” Mary stood but made no move to hurry off. “Are you staying in Bucksport long?”

  “About a week I think. I’m staying at Barb’s B&B right here in town.”

  “Oh yes, I’ve always loved that house. Never been inside of it though.”

  “Then stop by some evening when you can and chat with me some more. During the day, I suspect I’ll be out and about but once the evening hits, I’m going to be a free agent. Any restaurants around here you care to recommend? The B&B comes with breakfast obviously, but lunch and dinner are up to me to find.”

  “There are only a couple of restaurants available and I recommend them both.” She paused for a long moment and I could see that she was struggling with a decision. “Maybe you would consider having a meal with us one evening? I know you don’t know me at all and that might make you feel awkward but I do cook a pretty decent lasagna.”

  “That sounds lovely, Mary, thank you.” I pulled a piece of paper out of my pocket that had my name and cell number printed on it and handed it to her. Since I knew I’d be digging around for information, I figured I’d need to leave something with people so they could call me. I hadn’t thought it would be to arrange for dinner with a new friend but that was one of life’s many pleasures. Meeting new people who you just knew were going to become important.

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nbsp; Mary took the paper with a smile, her eyes not as heavy with sorrow. At least, not like they were when I first met her. Even her aura was lighter. “Great, I’ll call soon and we’ll figure out when.” She held out her hand to me and I grasped it gently, sending her loving, energized thoughts as I did so. “Thank you, Tess. It helped to talk to you. I feel hopeful now.” She smiled again, gave a wave and hurried away.

  I watched until she disappeared up the hill and around the building that was situated next to the memorial (I think it was public bathrooms but I wasn’t sure and didn’t care enough to find out) then turned and headed for my temporary home. My mission accomplished, I figured I deserved a little time now to call Kade. I had a lot to share with him. Bucksport was turning out to be just as interesting as Sea Willow Haven. Maybe it wasn’t teeming with ghosts but spirits lurked here. Of that I was certain. More than ever, I was determined to figure out that witch’s curse. I wasn’t leaving until I did.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Barbara was once again in the little sitting room when I entered the B&B. Since I didn’t pause other than to offer a quick wave, she didn’t bother to get up. She waved back and returned her attention to the book she had open on her lap. Glad I was not to suffer any further delays, I rushed up the stairs to my room and grabbed my cell phone. Kade answered on the first ring.

  “Tess, how’s it going?”

  It felt so good to hear his deep, rumbling voice. I let the pleasure of it seep through my senses as I sank onto the bed. “I meant to call earlier but I’ve been pretty busy since arriving. How goes the painting?”

  I wanted him to say, “What painting? I’ll be there in a jiff” but I knew it wasn’t fair to expect such a thing and pushed those thoughts firmly away. Expectations could become a killer to any relationship and I didn’t want to ruin this.

  “It’s coming along fine.” A pause, then his voice lowered making my stomach jump around in response. “I miss you already.”

  “I miss you too.” Silence. We both reflected on what that meant to us then I decided I better start talking or this was going to get awkward. “I saw the tombstone. It definitely has a story behind that marking. A female spirit visited me while I was there. She wasn’t very happy, more so resentful than anything. Like some sort of injustice had been done.”

  “Well, the stories do say she was burned for being a witch. I would think that’s reason enough to be resentful.”

  I shook my head in response, feeling that wasn’t the case here. “No, I think the story is skewed somehow. It feels more like a grave injustice has occurred.”

  “A grave injustice?” Kade laughed. “Now that sounds appropriate considering what we are discussing here.”

  I laughed with him. It was one of the things I loved about our relationship. For two years I went without laughter in my life, feeling I had no right to be happy. Thank God those days were behind me. It was still a wonder to me that I reacted the way I did to Mike’s death. Me, a person who dealt with the dead on a regular basis, and I go off the deep end when my own husband crosses over. Two long years to recover. Why? Then again, if I hadn’t taken that long, I wouldn’t have gone to Sea Willow Haven and I wouldn’t have met Kade. For everything there is a purpose. But honestly, why did the universe have to take two years to bring us together? Of course, two years ago Kade was in the military and engaged. Heck even one year ago the circumstances weren’t right for us to meet. Timing is everything and the universe is an excellent timekeeper. Thank God.

  “You lost in thought? You got awfully quiet.”

  That’s another thing I loved about Kade. He accepted my constant slippage into thought and usually left me to it. But as we were on the phone and now separated, long stretches of silence were not quite appropriate. “Sorry. I was just thinking how glad I am to get laughter back in my life.” My throat tightened up and I had to pull in a breath to calm the emotion overwhelming my chest. My heart felt like it was expanding. I took another breath and let it out slowly. Would I be an emotional mess for the rest of my life? I used to be so calm, cool and collected. Since Mike died, I was none of those things.

  “You deserve to laugh, Tess. We both do. Everyone does.” He started to say something more but stopped. I heard him give a little sigh and wondered what was on his mind. Before I could ask, he put our conversation back on point. “So you think there’s some merit to the story about the curse? Does that mean you might be staying there a little longer than a week?”

  I fell back on the mattress, my head missing the pillow so I had to twist slightly to grab it and pull it behind me. My lower legs dangled over the edge of the bed and I swung them back and forth in a carefree manner. I felt like a kid again. A kid with a woman’s feelings. “I think it might take longer than a week. I need to talk to Barbara but I suspect the room will be available for as long as I need it.”

  “Good.” He didn’t bother to hide the satisfaction he felt at my reply.

  “There’s another man staying here who’s evaluating the Tenney house. His company is thinking of purchasing it. You remember me telling you about the Tenney house?”

  “A man? Have you met him yet?”

  A sinking feeling hit the pit of my stomach which was moments ago flopping around in sensual excitement. “No, not yet. Barbara said he will only be here until Wednesday so I’m hoping to meet him tonight and worm an invitation to view the building. Colonel Buck was probably in that house several times and I want to see if I can pick up his energy.”

  “What else do you plan to do to figure out the curse?”

  He was letting the subject drop. But I knew it would eat at him. Kade had trust issues. It was understandable considering what happened to him with his ex-fiancée. Feeling the need for some spiritual help on the matter, I closed my eyes and made a silent plea to Sheila. An unspoken one that needed no words. She knew what I needed. We had so much baggage, Kade and I. Could we overcome it and make us work?

  “I’m not sure. I think I’ll walk around the town and see what happens. The universe knows why I’m here. Hopefully it will work its magic and lead me where I need to go in order to learn the truth of the matter.”

  “Nancy said to tell you that there is an historical museum there in town that you should visit.”

  “Yes, I remember reading about it when I looked up Bucksport on the internet.” How did people get along through life before the internet's invention? Information on anything and everything was suddenly available at your fingertips. It was so darned convenient.

  “I shouldn't have any trouble coming up on Wednesday like we planned. Maybe you could ask Barbara if she’ll have an extra room available and I’ll stay a day or two.” A short pause and then, “That’s if you want me to.”

  He sounded so uncertain and that wasn’t Kade. One of the things I noticed about him when we first met was how self-assured he was. Of course, that was a demeanor he presented to the world. Inside he was as vulnerable as I was. Well, maybe he wasn't as bad as me. I was much worse. “I would love that, Kade.”

  He let out a barely audible breath and I knew he’d been holding it while waiting for my reply. I wanted to reassure him that where I was concerned, he need fear nothing. I wasn’t going anywhere. But I didn’t feel our relationship was at a point where I could voice such a thing out loud and besides, he wouldn’t really believe it. Time and action would show Kade what was happening between us.

  “Good.” And then his tone lightened in an effort to get our conversation back on track to something less personal. “So, have you met anyone else of interest?”

  “Yes, actually, I have. Mary Rowan. She was at the Veterans Memorial not far from here. It’s located at one end of a nice walkway along the Penobscot River. I was going to stay in my room, unpack my things and call you but suddenly I had this overwhelming urge to take a walk and when I got to the Veterans Memorial and saw Mary, I knew why.”

  “So what’s her story? Any significance to the witch’s cursed tombstone?”

>   “It’s not a tombstone, it’s a monument and no I don’t think so.” And yet, suddenly a little twinge inside made me wonder?

  “I stand corrected".

  “She was in the military too, Kade. She retired earlier this year. She’s suffering PTSD and her family is going through a lot of financial strain.”

  “What branch was she in?”

  “You know, I didn’t ask but I get the feeling it was the Army.”

  “What’s the PTSD in relation to, did she say?”

  “Her convoy was attacked. She was a medic or something.” I paused for a moment and wondered if Mary would be okay with me sharing her story then figured I might as well. It wasn’t as if it was a well-kept secret. Well not the military stuff anyway. “She had to shoot one of the attackers and she’s having a hard time dealing with that.”

  “Yeah, it’s a tough thing to deal with. We grow up being told not to kill then we’re sent off to war and expected to do that very thing.” He gave a heavy sigh. “It’s a screwed up world, Tess, but we are not going to spiral down into the pity party we’ve managed to achieve in previous discussions.”

  “I agree. I don’t want to get into a heavy, deep and real discussion about the military and war. We have done that a time or two and as important a topic as it is, I want to talk about my current mission…solving the story behind the curse of Jonathan Buck’s stone monument.”

  “So why do you feel you were led to the Veterans Memorial to meet Mary? Are you going to contact the spirit of the guy she killed?”

  I had to laugh at that. When Kade first heard about my ability to talk with the dead, he was skeptical. But he did keep an open mind for which I was grateful. Not everyone did. It seemed amusing now to have him automatically go there…asking a question like that. “No, I don’t think so. Besides, he probably was an Iraqi or something and doesn’t even speak English. That would be interesting to interpret.”