“I deserve that,” he chuckles. “Can we talk before you leave?”
Cassie puts her hand out. “Give me your keys and your bag. I’ll go load up the car.”
“I’m sure this will be quick.” I hand my things over to her and face Tucker. “What do you want?” Now that we kissed and I know how great it felt, being next to him without my skin heating up is impossible.
“I’m sorry about the other night,” he says.
“Which night are you talking about? They were both pretty bad.”
“I’m sorry about both nights. I don’t know what I’m doing around you.” He shakes his head as if to clear it. “You’re different than other girls.”
“I’m just different than the girls you’re used to. Unfortunately, you’re the same guy I’m used to.”
“Give me another chance.”
“Why would I do that? I told you, I did this already with Josh. You know how many chances I gave him? I refuse to take more chances with the same exact type of guy.” I hate this. His handsome face, the kiss, I want to take a hundred chances on him, but I know how it will end. I stay strong. “You were right. I couldn’t be with you without feelings getting involved.” I meet his eyes thankful he isn’t wearing his glasses. “And guys like you don’t do feelings.”
Tucker holds my stare and I will him to say he’s going to try and prove me wrong. But of course he doesn’t. Why would he? This is only the third weekend here. Why do I have feelings this strong already? Even though he’s like Josh, my feelings for Tucker are different. I think with Josh part me of always knew he didn’t really like me, but with Tucker a big part of me thought he did. Probably just wishful thinking on my part.
Impulsively before turning to leave I add. “If you knew I couldn’t do it without feelings, you should never have kissed me like that.” I break the stare and walk away from him.
“Like what?” he yells after me.
I throw my head back and laugh. He doesn’t even know how intense that kiss was. The power it had over me, warming me up from head to toe. That’s how insignificant the kiss was to him.
“Like what, Tessa?” He catches up to me, his hand reaches for my arm and spins me around to face him. His eyes stare down at me waiting for an answer. I think I can feel those gnats I swallowed on the first day flying around in my stomach.
“Like nothing,” I say, pulling my arm away from him. “Tucker, the bottom line is you don’t do relationships. And, well, I won’t settle for less.” I walk away with my head down, afraid to look back.
“What did he say?” Cassie asks the second I’m seated in the driver’s seat.
“Nothing.” I start the car. “Let’s get the heck out here.”
Our spirits lift with each mile we drive away from camp. I try hard to empty all thoughts of Tucker from my mind. I even open the windows so we can take deep cleansing breaths as I fly down the highway, racing away from all our troubles.
We’re checked in to the hotel and in less than ten minutes Cassie’s in her purple two-piece ready to check out the hotel’s pool. Her body is amazing, very toned and tan. She has an effortless way about her that I’ve actually grown to appreciate. But I do wonder if I can convince her to do something with that hair. Maybe lighten it up or something?
“I’m going to swim and take showers for the next two days straight,” Cassie vows jumping up and down on the bed making kissing faces at the mirror.
“Oh me too, it’s going to feel so good taking a normal shower.”
“Are you coming to the pool with me?” She jumps from the bed, adjusts her bikini top and grabs a towel wrapping it around herself.
“I’m going to call home and then I’ll meet you down there.” I grab my phone and wave for her to go ahead without me.
Alone in the room I dial the person I’m most anxious to see. Positioning the camera at my face, hopeful my friend’s face will pop up any second. It clicks and she appears.
“Hey!” Ashley exclaims with a huge smile. “How is camp life? Is it disgusting? Are there a lot of bugs? Do they have horseback riding there? I still can’t picture you doing any outdoorsy things,” she jumps right in with the questions.
“Oh please, if you saw the shower I’m forced to use, you would die. And no horseback riding, thank God, you know I can’t stand horses. So, what’s going on at home? How is your perfect boyfriend?” I’m beaming, connecting with the friend I’ve really been missing.
“Good, he’s right here. We just had dinner with the fam. Say hi.” Ashley flips her phone around. Patrick’s handsome face appears. He gives me a wave. This really is not necessary. Then I see Kent. Of course he’s there, he’s Patrick’s brother. He snatches the phone away from Ashley and starts talking.
“Hey, beautiful,” he smiles into the phone. “You having a good time?”
“I am. It’s a weird place, but it’s okay. I feel like I’ve been gone a million years already,” I frown biting down on my lip.
“You alright?” Kent asks.
I throw a smile back on. “Yeah, I’m tired is all.”
Ashley takes the phone back, movement blurs behind her as she walks. “I’m going upstairs so we can talk alone.”
“It was weird seeing Kent. I didn’t even think you might be with him when I called,” I sigh.
“Okay we’re alone. Yeah, Kent misses you.”
“I miss him too.” This call is already making me homesick.
“Too bad that didn’t work out. We could’ve been sister-in-laws one day.”
“Yeah, too bad.” I roll my eyes. “What’s going on with him and Robin?”
“As far as I know, nothing is going on with them romantically.”
“Maybe not now, but they’ll get back together eventually.”
“Where are you? Is that your cabin? It looks nice.”
I laugh at the question. This is nothing like my cabin. “No. I’m in a hotel I needed to get away this weekend.”
“Camp life is that bad?” she cringes. “Is it all buggy? You don’t have to pee in the woods do you?”
“No, it’s not that bad. I just needed to get away from things there for a little bit.”
Ashley raises her eyebrow suspiciously. “What kind of things?”
“Nothing.” I shake it off. “So, what else is going on?”
“Um, well do you see how fat I am?” Ashley pulls the camera back and waves it over her body.
“No.” Alright, I see it a little.
“Yeah, I gained almost ten pounds from all these family dinners. I tried my prom dress on the other night for Patrick, just something stupid I wanted to do, and it wouldn’t zip. What was prom two months ago? I’m a beast.”
“You’re not a beast. I don’t see ten pounds and we both know I’d tell you,” I say honestly because truthfully I only see about five. “How’s your mom doing?”
“Better. I don’t want to jinx anything, but she is doing really good. She goes to her meetings and from what I can tell is taking her recovery very seriously.”
“That’s great, Ashley.”
“Tessa, what’s up? You seem off. Tell me why you’re really spending the weekend in a hotel.”
I might as well get it over with and tell her. “Please, you won’t even believe it. There’s a guy at camp, Tucker.”
“Is he a farmer?” Ashley interrupts.
“No, he’s from Jersey and shut up, ’cause I love his name. Anyway, I sort of let myself fall for him a little tiny bit.” I wince admitting it out loud.
“What’s the problem with that?”
“Turns out he’s just like Josh. Can you believe it? Can you believe I did it again? You told me not to and I did.”
“Honestly, no I can’t believe it.” Her tone gets firm. “What are you thinking? How could you even look at someone who was like Josh after everything you went through last year?”
Yes, Ashley’s being brutal, but that’s why I called her, I need brutal. Ashley knows first-hand the damage Josh c
ould do.
“I don’t know. I’m stupid. I like being tortured. But it’s over now.”
“If it’s over then why are you telling me and looking all mopey? Did you do anything with him?”
“You know me, so, the answer is no,” I grumble. “Well, we kissed. Just once. But only because I offered to hook-up with no feelings getting involved and he wanted to prove to me that I couldn’t hook-up without feelings. It was a great kiss, but just for me.”
Ashley’s face drops. “What. Are. You. Doing. Up. There? You offered to ‘hook-up’ with a guy who is just like Josh? Please end this.”
“It’s over. I swear.” I don’t look at the screen.
“Maybe you should come home. You and Kent can try again, you both miss each other.”
“Ashley, please, coming home to be with Kent is ridiculous. You know as well as I do how stupid that sounds. Tucker is over. I called you so I could get it out of my system. And now it’s out, I’m over it.”
“I’m a little nervous Tessa. You don’t sound too convincing that it’s over. Call me in case it’s not out of your system. You can call me anytime you want, day or night.” Ashley sounds leery. “And be careful.”
“I swear, it’s over. We don’t have service at camp, but I’ll call when I can.”
“Promise me, if you feel yourself weaken, you’ll call me.”
“I swear.”
We say goodbye and disconnect.
A dose of reality is only a call away. Perfect. I will definitely call Ashley if I feel myself weaken. Ashley will help me through this, giving me all the advice I need. I know Ashley won’t ever let me make the same mistake.
I pick up my phone to make another call. The face appears on the screen immediately.
“I knew it. You’re totally in love with him.” Ashley shakes her head at me.
Cassie
“I’m not so sure about this.” I reach up and touch a piece of silver foil. “What if it comes out too blonde?”
“There’s no such thing as too blonde. But if you don’t like it then they’ll fix it. But trust me it’s going to look great. It’s going to lighten you up and be beautiful.” Tessa sits in the empty chair next to me in the hair salon. Her pretty blonde hair is natural, supposedly, so she’s there for support only.
I agreed to the change in a moment of weakness. Ready to make some changes, I figured my hair is a good start. The other changes I’m still figuring out.
The first foil comes off and a thin blonde strand hangs down in front of my face. I smile. It’s different. Once the hair is blow dried I’m shocked by the full effect of my new color. I was nervous it was going to turn out blonde like Tessa’s but it just made my dark color softer, a warm caramel effect to it.
“What do you think?” Tessa grins behinds me in the mirror.
“I think I love it.”
The weekend gives me the reboot I need, new hair, new habits, a new outlook. No more flings, no more drinking and no more sleeping until noon on the weekends. My need for a crazy filled summer is out of my system. When the summer ends and I’m back home I need to be at the bakery at four a.m. every morning. The place will be mine one day and I’m excited to start learning all the ins and outs of the business. Time for me to grow up.
Tessa would love some of the stuff I make. Not to eat, she isn’t a big sweet eater, actually Tessa claims she hates cake, but she does love pretty girly things. Pretty creations are my specialty. I’ve done a few themed sweet sixteen cakes that went over really big. My father and I did one that was five tiers right before I left. It was adorable, a make-up theme. I made little lipsticks out of fondant in different shades that lined the bottom. It was a huge hit. Just thinking like this makes me in the mood to bake something. And eat something covered in frosting. Yum. I need to bake cupcakes or something when we get back to camp.
Early Sunday evening we arrive back at camp. Our first priority is laundry. Neither of us in the mood after a long weekend away, but we need clean clothes.
The laundry room isn’t crowded, but as luck would have it Courtney’s perched on top of the counter. She’s playing with her nails, listening to her iPod and thankfully doesn’t notice us walk in. I load up the washing machine plinking my quarters in one by one. Trying my best to avoid Courtney I bump right into Sawyer. Seriously?
“Hey.” He seems happy to see me. Not miserable and avoiding me like I expected. “I looked for you all weekend.”
“You did?” I have no idea why he would look for me after our “hut” incident.
“Yeah, why are you asking me like that?”
“I just thought after, you know, what happened,” I lower my voice. “You wouldn’t really want to see me anymore.”
He pulls his head back surprised. “Oh, is that what you want?”
I assumed it was over, whatever it even was. I hadn’t really given him much thought over the past week. Just figured our fling had flung.
“No,” I say. Not because I mean it, but because it seems like the right thing to say.
“Good. This weekend is over, but next weekend let’s definitely hang out.” He holds up his stuffed plastic garbage bag of clean laundry. “Alright, I’m done in here. Have a good week.”
I walk back to where Tessa’s reading a magazine. “That was strange. He still wants to hang out even after that whole nightmare in the hut.”
“And you want to?”
“No, he took me off guard.”
“Cassie your hair looks amazing. I didn’t even know you were back.” Courtney interrupts our conversation. “You guys missed everything this weekend.”
Tessa and I exchange looks, we’re about to hear all the gossip. Most likely all stuff we don’t care to know.
Courtney begins to dish. “Okay well I got in a huge fight with Julie. It was a long time coming. Last year there was all this drama with me and her over Vinny. Julie and Vinny used to date, high school sweethearts or something, and then we hooked up one night. Julie was furious. She broke up with him, big tears, the works. I was with him one time, but she never let it go and last night she totally lost it accusing me of being with Vinny again. She’s crazy. That’s why no one likes her here.”
“Were you with Vinny again?” I cross my fingers.
“No, I’m still with your brother,” she declares dramatically.
I wondered if we were still “related.” I was unsure whether Mark told everyone the truth or not after our fiasco. Looks like we’re keeping up the charade the rest of the summer. Great. Not that I have any right to complain, it was all my doing.
Courtney continues. “Tucker finally took Brianne up on her offer to go the hut.” I hear Tessa take a sharp breath in. “But they were only in there for a minute. If you thought Brianne was pissed the first time,” Courtney laughs. “You should have seen her this time.”
“Did she say what happened?” Tessa pipes up. Her knuckles are white wrapped around a bottle of fabric softener.
“Yeah. Nothing.” Courtney signals a big zero with her hand. “Then she told everyone she hooked up with someone and wouldn’t tell us who. Which means no one, but whatever, she’s embarrassed, we’ll pretend she has some secret hook up going on if she wants. And me and Mark…”
“I think I heard your dryer go off. You can fill us in on the rest tomorrow.” I cut her off. “We have to finish our laundry up too, anyway.”
“Oh, okay.” Courtney’s face deflates before she saunters away.
“Are you okay?” I turn towards Tessa.
Tessa bites her lip and nods, but I know she’s upset.
“She’s ridiculous with the gossip. Besides she said nothing happened.”
“I know, but he still went.” She shrugs. “It doesn’t matter. Nothing is going to happen with us anyway. But geez, why did she have to tell us about it?”
“Because Courtney is a gossiping bitch,” I state angrily.
Tessa hides her face. “I was so much worse. Last year, I gossiped even worse than that.
It was my way of feeling like I mattered. Isn’t that sick to admit?”
“I can’t picture you as a gossip.” I try to imagine Tessa in high school. All I can envision is popular and pretty. Not struggling, gossiping to feel like she mattered. It’s sad the ways girls try to cover insecurities, myself included.
“Really?” Tessa asks surprised. “’Cause I was the worst gossip in high school and I was known as the biggest bitch.”
“Oh, the bitch thing I totally see.” I give my friend a gentle hair tug and smile teasing her.
“Yeah, well it takes one to know one.” Tessa reaches over giving my hair a much rougher tug. Kind of crazy what good friends we’ve become since that crazy first night.
“You know what, Tessa. Let’s just forget about guys the rest of the summer. Girl power and all that crap.”
“Yeah, you’re right. No more guys. This summer can be about me and you hanging out.”
We both nod our heads in unison, agreeing to our liberating declaration. Even though we are both fully aware…we’re full of shit.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Tessa
I want to know for sure. Not that it matters, but I just want to hear it for myself. I make it a point to stand next to Brianne watching our two groups of campers play a tedious game of volleyball.
“So crazy about Tucker,” I say crossing my arms casually, waiting to see how Brianne will respond.
“What’s crazy?” Brianne folds her arms the same way and faces me. Her eyes are guarded under mirrored sunglasses, but the snarl on her face is giving me a warning.
“It’s crazy, he turned down Cassie, he turned down you, and he turned down me.”
Brianne lifts her sunglasses off her eyes and squints at me. “He turned you down too?”
“Yeah.” Technically he did, so it isn’t a lie.
“Hmm, I don’t know, maybe he’s gay.” Brianne shrugs putting her sunglasses back in place. “I tried twice, I’m done trying.”
“I don’t think he’s gay, you at least got him to go to the hut with you. So, something must have happened with you guys.”
Wait (The Fast Series) Page 10
