This is crazy, she’s with someone. Literally with someone, right in the bed next to mine. If that doesn’t show how little she feels for me, nothing does. The words she said to me that night weren’t true. Maybe I should let her go once and for all. As soon as camp is over I’ll be going to school, it’ll be easier. I won’t see her all the time. My stomach tightens at the painful thought.
I always hoped by the time we left for school we would be together. Sharing the experience together, visits home, visits to my school. Oh man, I take a breath and shake my head. The idea of leaving for school without her being a part of it is hard to imagine.
An hour goes by, maybe two. The empty hook still dangles lifelessly in the water.
“Hey, got room for one more?” Cassie’s cheery voice calls out to me. She has on her favorite worn out jean shorts, a red shirt, and fishing pole in hand. Her blonde streaks are even more pronounced in the sunlight as she tosses her hair back over her shoulder.
“Sure,” I nod my head down at the spot next to me. Her cheeriness irks me, as if we both don’t know where she’s just been.
Her long tanned legs swing around hanging over the edge of the rock next to mine. I wince as I catch a whiff of her new peachy scent. That same scent is all over Sawyer’s sheets right now.
“How was last night? Or better yet your morning?” I ask dryly.
“Good,” she answers not picking up on my sarcasm. “Hey, why didn’t you tell me the cake was for Tessa? I would have been able to tell you a horse wasn’t a great choice,” she laughs. “Poor Tucker got his ass handed to him from what she told me. She’s been bitching all week. Every chance she gets it’s all I hear about. But between you and me, I keep catching her staring at the busted bouquet he gave her. If it was so bad, why is it in a vase in our room?”
I smile at that, I’d heard from Tucker it hadn’t gone quite like he expected. Kind of funny, he wouldn’t say why he thought it was her birthday when it wasn’t.
“Did you catch anything yet?” Cassie shields her brown eyes from the sun and looks out over the lake. “What are you using for bait?”
“I’m not using anything actually, and no I haven’t caught anything.”
“You’re not using anything?” she gives a baffled laugh. “Why?”
“I’m just here to get away from something, I guess.”
“What?”
“Just something I woke up to this morning.”
“You want to talk about it?”
“I don’t.”
Cassie rubs her lips together and begins digging her hand through the damp ground looking for worms. She lifts up a big rock finds a fat one and sets it on the hook.
“I looked for you last night,” she says once her line is far out in the water. Her voice trades its cheerful tone for a more serious one. “I wanted to talk to you, more like, finish talking to you.”
Our conversation from the other day, I want to finish it too. Or at least I had. Now I know I probably won’t like what she has to say. I fix my eyes on the still water and brace myself.
“I wanted to talk to you about what happened in the hut with Sawyer,” she sighs and looks over at me.
“I don’t need to know.” I stand up and reel in my line. This is too much for me to handle. First this morning, now details of what I’m sure was her first time. No way. “Cassie, you and Sawyer, that’s great. But I don’t want to know about it. I don’t want to see it. And I’d appreciate it if you don’t come to my cabin anymore.”
“You don’t want me to come see you anymore?”
Is she trying to pretend like she wasn’t there this morning giggling under the covers of my roommate’s bed? What does she take me for?
“I’m not an idiot Cassie. I know you think I am, but I’m not.”
She cuts me off. “What are you talking about?”
“I’ve had to watch you with Sawyer all summer long. Groping in front of the fire, walking down to the hut, but right in front of my face in my own room is where I draw the line.”
“I’ve watched you and Courtney all summer too. She’s the one who’s been in your room, not me. I didn’t want to see it, or know about it either.”
“Why would it matter what you saw? You rejected me. So why would you even care?” I yell raising my hands up in question.
“You rejected me too, Mark,” she raises her voice to match mine. “At least you didn’t beg.”
“Cassie, we both know that night was bull shit. You didn’t mean a word of what was said. If you did you wouldn’t have run to Sawyer five minutes later.”
“Mark, you said no to me.”
“I said we could talk the next day. You were drunk. I wanted to wait until you were sober. But you couldn’t wait. Could you Cassie? No, you went down to that filthy place with him right in front of me. Making sure I saw you,” I rage, finally releasing my pent up anger. Red flashes before my eyes. I hurdle my fishing pole, sending it soaring across the water like a javelin.
Cassie throws her hands up to her mouth and gasps. “I didn’t,” she chokes out.
“You didn’t?” I snort, disgusted that she can stand there and lie to me. Like it’s nothing. That I’m nothing to her. “You’re unbelievable, Cassie.” I run my hands over my head. “I gotta get outta here.”
Walking away I contemplate about leaving camp, not for the afternoon but for good. I need to go for a long drive to figure things out. Can I last three more weeks in this hell?
Tucker
Friday night I say goodbye to my campers. Another great group, I give them each a firm handshake, a little sad to see them go. Every summer when I was younger, I attended this very same camp. Best part of summer, I loved every minute of it. As soon as I was old enough I applied to be a counselor. I work hard to make sure the kids have the same fun memories of this place that I do. My number one rule is wear sunscreen. One year my whole week here was ruined by a blistering sunburn. “A boy with fair skin and freckles should know better,” the exasperated plump nurse lectured me while rubbing aloe onto my scorched skin. After that, sunscreen became a necessary part of my daily routine, and I enforce it with my campers as well.
Showered and freshly shaved, I trade my contacts for my glasses. The belt I loop through my shorts needed to be pulled in tighter. It always does half way through camp from the surge of outdoor activities I’m taking part in. I sort through my clean shirts pulling out the orange one from the first night. The one I was wearing when I met Tessa, my new lucky shirt. Luck’s going to be needed tonight.
My roommate strolls into the bathroom and picks up a comb, smoothing it over his hair. “You have a visitor,” he says to my reflection. “Curly chick is here.”
I walk out to see Tessa standing by my front door, hands clasped together, swinging them apprehensively back and forth. She looks prettier than ever. “Hey.” The swinging stops.
“I was about to go to your cabin,” I say, surprised but thrilled to see her standing in front of me.
She’s still wearing her yellow camp T-shirt, and her face is flushed from a day spent in the hot sun. “It wasn’t my birthday and those surprises were…” Her voice shakes nervously.
I cut her off. “Crappy,” I supply.
“Not crappy, they were just not what I expected. And I never even said thank you. The whole thing just sort of took me by surprise. You thought it was my birthday and you tried to do something nice for me. So, thank you. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did.” She takes a breath, holds it and starts swinging again. “I acted that way because I was a little hurt and mad, probably the same reason you went to the hut with Brianne.”
“I swear nothing happened.”
“Why don’t we just start over?”
This is unexpected. This is awesome. This is Ashley’s doing. Contacting her might be the smartest thing I’ve ever done. The discreet conversation she had with Tessa, the one she messaged me about has helped.
“I think that’s a great idea.” I hold out my hand and she takes it, a
llowing me to pull her in for a hug. “Tonight, we can go anywhere you want.”
“Tonight I’m going to stay in. Tomorrow? Breakfast again?”
“Yes, definitely.” I hug her tighter. “How about you tell me what your favorite flower is and I can start by getting you a bouquet that isn’t wrong.”
“I don’t need flowers.” She pulls away from the embrace. “But I will admit there is something I wouldn’t mind having.”
“What’s that?” I’m so happy to see her standing in front of me, I’d give her anything
“The shirt you gave me to wear the night I slept here. I would like it if you could find it and I could have it?”
I’d have no problem finding it. I walk over and take the folded t-shirt from my top drawer and hand it to her. “It’s not washed.” It hasn’t even been unfolded since she left it on my bed for fear it would lose the pretty scent she left lingering in the fabric.
“Thank you.” Tessa takes it and presses it up against her chest. “It was a lot more comfy than the pajamas I packed. I thought maybe I could wear it to bed.”
The idea of her cuddled up in my t-shirt is the sexiest thing I can imagine. It’s also the most unbelievably flattering thing she could have asked me for.
She gets a scared look on her face. “So, you said last weekend in the kitchen you have strong feelings for me. Is that true?”
“Very true.” Frighteningly true.
“But you ‘don’t do relationships.’”
“I do now.”
She doesn’t smile but her eyes do. How can someone so cute also be so damn sexy?
“Okay, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” With my shirt still tucked up in her arms she backs up towards the door.
I can’t let her leave me just yet. “How about I walk you back to your cabin?”
She stops. “I’d like that.” Finally she smiles at me.
“So, you hate horses?” I ask walking close, but unsure if I should reach for her hand.
“What made you think I liked them?”
“Um.” I don’t know what to say.
“And, what made you think it was my birthday?”
I have no explanation without ratting Ashley out. I should have had an answer prepared. Of course she was going to ask.
“Um.” Another “um” slips out, this is embarrassing. My reputation for playing it cool is on the line here. Really, two um’s, not cool.
“You know what it doesn’t matter,” she says. “No, I don’t like horses. My parents tried to take me horseback riding when I was little, but I refused to get on the horse. They just freaked me out.”
“You gotta tell me something.” I move in closer to catch a whiff of her delicious scent. “You smell amazing. I need to know what it is. Berries?”
“Passion fruit.”
“Perfume?”
Her nose scrunches up. “It’s my shampoo and conditioner. Two separate bottles,” she adds playfully teasing me.
“Noted.” Crap, but at least she’s teasing and not angry.
An actual breeze sweeps across us, strong enough to rustle the leaves in the trees around us. A welcome relief from the normal heat and humidity we’re used to around here. Tessa tells me a funny story about her sister and I find out a lot more things about her as we walk to her cabin.
As she’s talking she slides her sunglasses down from the top of her head over her eyes. Even with those blue eyes hidden behind the dark glasses, I know she’s checking me out. Every time I see the girl, she does the same thing, looks me over from top to bottom. Either she isn’t shy about it or doesn’t realize she’s so obvious about it.
“How do I look?” I’ve become accustomed to asking her. If she’s checking me out I want to know.
She gives me a shy smile and I notice her tongue peek out and lick her upper lip. “You look hot.”
Is this a test? Am I supposed to kiss her for saying that? Last time she called me hot and I didn’t kiss her, she cried. My hand reaches out pulling her around to face me. I slide her sunglasses to the top of her head, tip her chin up with my finger and kiss her. The kiss is soft. I’m not pushing for more. But at her encouragement the kiss becomes deeper. She places her hands behind my neck and I feel her fingers reach up and tug gently on my hair. Quite the eager kisser. I break away from her lips. Not that I want to. I have to.
Her puckered lips pout. She’s insulted. “I meant sweaty,” she says sliding her glasses back in place.
“Then I apologize.” I hold my hand out and she looks at it. “My fault, I couldn’t resist kissing you.”
She likes my answer and takes my hand. As we continue the walk we’re not talking. I’m not because I’m still wrapped up in the kiss we just shared. Not sure if she’s staying quiet for the same reason. More silence. Hell, this girl’s got me speechless over a kiss.
We reach the last step before her door. “You coming to see me, made my whole night.”
“Are you going out tonight?” The casual look she’s trying hard to give doesn’t fool me.
“Nope, staying in all night. I’m gonna get a good night’s sleep so I’m all set for my big date tomorrow morning. Although it might be hard falling asleep as I’m picturing the prettiest girl I know wearing my shirt to bed.”
She blushes sliding her sunglasses off completely, her blue eyes pop excitedly. I want to kiss her again, but God she makes it hard to know what to do. “Goodnight,” I say stepping backwards down the first step.
“Tucker,” Tessa is closer to eye level the way we’re standing. Looking adorably nervous she fidgets. She’s got something to say and I’m desperate to hear what it is. “Tucker,” she starts again. “You look hot.”
I look her square in the eye. “Baby I’m not sweating so you better prepare yourself ’cause I’m about to give you one hell of a kiss.”
She beats me to it, arms around my neck and her eager little tongue fights its way into my mouth. I bring my hands up to her warm cheeks trying to slow her kiss down. I feel the shirt she’s been holding onto drop at our feet. Her passion excites me…Way. Too. Much. Her fingers are tangled up in my hair giving it more soft little tugs. I have to let her be the one to end the kiss this time, can’t have her pouting if I pull away again. Even though in about two more seconds something that can’t be controlled might put a little distance between us. Her body pushes up against me and my hand slides down to grab her firm backside. One squeeze and she ends the kiss, breathless and startled.
“Goodnight, I’ll see you tomorrow,” she smiles and leans in, this time for a quick peck.
I kneel down and pick up the gray shirt. “Don’t forget your new pajamas.”
She takes it and giggles. “See ya tomorrow.”
I wait until the door closes and take off jogging back down the steps. I knew this orange shirt was lucky.
Mark
All week I contemplated what to do and decided to stick it out at camp. Three more weeks, I can handle it. College is starting soon, I’ll be going away and I won’t have to see Cassie as much anymore. Weekends and holidays when I’m home, I’ll avoid her. The next few weeks here shouldn’t be too bad. We rarely see each other during the week and on the weekends I can lay low. One thing though, I will need to ask Sawyer, man to man, not to bring Cassie back to our cabin again. That I can’t handle.
It’s one a.m. when I finally park my car back in the dark lot. Today I took off as soon as the campers left to avoid any unwanted run ins. The distant sounds of music and people coming from down by the lake informs me everyone is still partying in full force. I heard Courtney’s moved on to the next person already. I like her, but I’m not bothered in the least hearing she’s with someone new. A rowdy holler that sounds like my roommate travels through the trees. Is Cassie down there with Sawyer or are they off already doing more unspeakable things? Why do I need to keep reminding myself of that? I don’t care anymore.
I turn on the flickering light bulb overhead. Much to my relief, my cabin is empty. The
re’s a loud pop and flash. Wonderful, the bulb blew out. Things just keep getting better. I need to feel my way over to the bed. Something sticks my arm as I sit down and lean back. Reaching around I feel… a fishing pole? Searching anxiously for the flashlight I tucked away, I find it and shine the light over the length of my bed. Sure enough, under the light I see a brand new fishing pole. Nicer than the one I’d thrown into the lake in my fit of rage last weekend. Aiming the light at the folded paper taped on I read, Happy Belated Birthday. It isn’t signed, but it doesn’t need to be.
Why did she do this? Why? The question repeats over and over in my head until sleep finally takes over.
The next morning I wake up to the same giggle and whispers. No fucking way, not again. I’m up on my feet soaring across the room ready to attack. This girl has officially ripped my heart out. “I hope you know, you doing this, is tearing me apart,” I holler at the lump in Sawyer’s bed. “I asked you not to come here. This shows how little you care about me. I’m in love with you, but you don’t give a shit. You never did, did you?”
There’s no reply from the blankets. I grab my shorts from off the floor, tugging them over my boxers and throw my t-shirt over my head.
I take off out of the cabin, violently trudging my way through dusty swirls of dirt down to the lake. My blood boils and I need to calm down. Bending over, I clutch my knees, gasping for air. Slowly I’m able to stand back up.
Looking out over the water I’m not sure if what I’m seeing is real.
Cassie. She’s sitting in the same spot as last time, legs dangling over the boulder, line in the water. How is it possible? I walk through the trees, rounding the lake to where she is.
“How long have you been here?” I ask walking up behind her.
“About an hour,” she looks back and smiles.
It wasn’t Cassie in Sawyer’s bed this morning.
“Last time when I saw you here, where were you before that?”
“Before I saw you in the morning?” she shrugs. “My cabin, I woke up, took a shower and came here. Just like today.”
It wasn’t her last time either. I look up suddenly noticing how blue the sky is. It hadn’t been this bright and sunny a few moments ago.
Wait (The Fast Series) Page 13
