“There’s nothing wrong with Pez. Pez are awesome.” I don’t want her feeling bad over something silly. “We spent the whole night together watching movies eating Pez, it was a great birthday.” She gives me a weak smile and we don’t talk the rest of the way.
Cassie pushes a shopping cart into the store with me walking close behind her. “What’s my budget?” she asks.
“Anything you need, he wants it perfect. Doesn’t care about the cost.”
“Okay.” She takes off down the aisles loading the cart up with all the necessary ingredients. It doesn’t take long at all for her to find everything she needs. She knows her stuff. We’re checked out and back in the car before I know it.
“I meant it when I said I can help you bake the cake if you want.” The time’s going by too fast. I want more time with her.
“Really, you can help me bake it? Since when?” she teases, the first glimpse of something normal between us all day.
“I can hand you stuff. I’ll be your assistant.”
She takes me up on the offer. I’m happy she does. Real happy. ’Cause being with her now makes me realize just how much I’ve missed her.
Not much talking. I watch her go to work, measuring each thing precisely before dumping it into the dented metal bowl we found in a cabinet. She leans forward, the front of her top dipping down, exposing a wonderful view. I make myself look away. Noticing that view has gotten me in trouble before. For some reason though, today requires a large amount of leaning over. If I didn’t know better I’d swear she was doing it on purpose. Twisting the cap off a cold bottle of water, I take a large swig to cool off.
“It’s got to bake and cool, so, it will be awhile before I can do anything else.” Cassie washes her hands in the large steel sink, drying them off on the front of her shirt. “Before you go, do you have a horse picture by any chance? Something I can go by when I do the frosting?”
“Yes,” I reach in my pocket and unfold the picture Tucker gave me. “But where am I going? I told you I was going to help you. I’m going to stay until it’s finished.”
Cassie takes the picture from me and studies it quietly. “Are you the secret guy I’m making this for? Is this cake for Courtney?” She doesn’t look at me.
“No, I wouldn’t ask you to make a cake for Courtney.”
“Why wouldn’t you?”
Is this her way of bringing up the subject we’ve been avoiding all day? How is this going to go?
“I guess it’s time we discuss what happened that night,” I say.
“Yeah,” she agrees quietly. “I’ve been thinking about it ever since, trying to figure out what to say to you.”
“I’ve been thinking about it too.” The part replaying over and over in my mind is when she begged me to kiss her. I’d come so close to reaching for her and kissing her in that moment. The only thing that stopped me was that I knew she was drunk and what she was saying wasn’t sincere.
“We’re friends and we have been for a long time now.” She looks at me and holds her breath. The next words seem to be a struggle for her to get out. My own breath hitches waiting for them. “But since we got here things are different, feelings are different, well not different exactly.” She stops, still stuck.
I’ve always been able to get a read on what she’s thinking, even the day I tried to kiss her, I wasn’t surprised when she rejected me. But today, right now as I look in her eyes I have no idea what she’s about to say.
“Knock, knock, can I come in?” Courtney barrels over and slides her arms around my waist. “You’ve been gone forever. You said it wasn’t going to take long.”
“I had to stay and help Cassie.” I fight to keep the disappointment from my voice. The rotten timing isn’t Courtney’s fault.
“Go ahead, you guys go. I can finish this up. I’ll leave it in the refrigerator and I’ll cover it, so no one can see it or take it.” Cassie walks over to the oven and checks on the cake. Whatever she was about to say, I’ll have to wait to find out.
Courtney drags me away by the hand from the kitchen. I don’t even get a chance to say goodbye or thank Cassie leaving everything between us unfinished. When will I see her again?
“What do you feel like doing?” Courtney kisses me on the lips once we’re outside. “We could go to my cabin, its empty.”
Courtney is nice and pretty and has been unknowingly helping me forget about my feelings for Cassie. But I can’t forget about my feelings for Cassie. If anything, after today, they’re stronger.
I look down at Courtney and know I need to end whatever this is we have going on. I break it off gently as we walk. It goes shockingly well. She doesn’t get upset, promise revenge or even ask for a reason. At this place the relationships are more about the physical. When it ends, there’s someone else waiting just around the corner. Fun, but meaningless. I’m not looking for that. I know for sure that I want something that has meaning.
“Coming out?” Sawyer’s already on his way toward the lake.
“Maybe later.” Right now I plan on showering and then heading back down to the kitchen to look for Cassie. Finish the conversation we started earlier. I want to let her know I ended things with Courtney. Really talk about what happened that night and see if she meant any of what she said. I want to know where we go from here.
“Alright, I got to go find Cassie for a hot night,” Sawyer’s grin dulls. “Why do I always do that man? Sorry, it’s your sister. I need to stop doing that.”
My fists ball up at my side. With every bit of strength I have, I fight back the urge to punch him right in the mouth. Last weekend Sawyer told me Cassie went away. He made it seem like they were done. They weren’t. The image of her walking into the hut with him resurfaces in my mind. I stomp past Sawyer, arms trembling with my hands clenched and try not to think about it.
It’s impossible.
Tucker
Sunday morning I drive to the only florist in town. I look down at the bouquet I ordered. “This is it?” I squint down at the unimpressive bouquet.
“You’re the guy who wanted all baby’s breath, correct?” The grey haired lady lifts the glasses dangling around her neck up to her eyes and looks me over.
“Yeah, I thought it would look different.”
The lady holds out her hand out. “Why don’t you let me put a few roses in the bouquet for you,” she offers.
“No, thank you. This is her favorite. I don’t want to mess it up. How much do I owe you?” I reach for my wallet.
“That’s six dollars.”
Only six dollars for the entire bouquet? I expected to pay a lot more. But what do I know about flowers? I chalk it up to things are just cheaper here than back home in Jersey.
The bouquet is the last thing on my list from Ashley. I probably should send her some flowers too for helping me out like this. Still can’t believe she did it. I thought it was gonna take a hell of a lot more convincing to get her to help me. Now all I need is a way to convince Tessa to meet with me.
The cake is amazing. The only problem, it’s huge. It’ll be hard to move too far from the kitchen without the risk of dropping it. Forget it. I can leave it on the counter next to the flowers and gift bag filled with the big bottles of shampoo. Again, even though I got the best one they had, it was still much less than I expected to pay. Tessa seems a little more refined, but her friend Ashley would know.
Tessa has sent me in a whole new direction this summer. She’s had me rattled since the moment I laid eyes on her struggling to roll her gigantic suitcase up over the rocky terrain of the mountain. Then seeing her whispering and giggling in the meeting hall. Paying attention to every word Vinny and Julie rattled off with her blonde curls whipping against her angelic face from the rusty old fan. The second she opened her mouth and introduced herself to the room, I knew for sure there was something different and special about her. How had such an innocent girl wound up at this camp? I made sure to keep her away from the lake, if she heard and saw the things tha
t went on there on the first night she’d have packed up and left for sure. I couldn’t let that happen.
Her flirting was sweet and silly, and she hung on every word I said wide-eyed and excited. A welcome change from the girls I’m used to. Most girls I’ve encountered flirt by making raunchy suggestions with the heavy stench of alcohol coming from their breath. Not that I’d ever minded or refused an offer… before this summer.
After an hour of talking with Tessa I’d never wanted to kiss someone so much in my entire life. Only someone beat me to it. I watched with amusement as she beat her fists into Mark while he kissed her and then watched her storm off embarrassed and pissed as hell. The wrong guy kissed her. She wanted me. I planned on fixing that by the next night. Only the next day on our date, she proved to be even more special than I imagined. I was going to have to try a whole new approach with her. I was going to have to be a gentleman.
It didn’t happen.
I tried. But somehow, not kissing her in the dark, in my bed, with her wearing nothing but a thin t-shirt, made me the bad guy. I was on the brink from not being able to touch her. Nothing in my life had been tougher and what does she do? She cries. The tears pushed me right over the edge and I lost it.
I’d lain awake all night thinking, and apparently Tessa had done the same thing. When I saw the ridiculous note she left me the next morning, I laughed out loud. Then headed off to find her and give her the kiss she so desperately needed.
The kiss startled the hell out me. In trying to prove to her she had feelings for me, I was blown away by how strong my own already were. I had no clue what to do next. Feeling something was one thing, but feeling the way I did after that kiss. I wasn’t prepared.
I tried to tell myself I wasn’t cut out for serious. When Brianne offered to take me to the hut, I was ready. Yet, once we got down there, I couldn’t do it. It felt like I was cheating on Tessa. Cheating on the girl I kissed once? That’s when I knew it was time to call in the big guns.
Ashley Simons.
Tessa talks about her like she’s the Queen. According to her Ashley knows everything about everything. Made me think she might be able to help. Now it looks like I’m about to find out if contacting her will pay off like I’m hoping.
With a little help from Cassie, I was able to find a way get Tessa down to the kitchen. She walks in, sees me standing there and turns on her heels.
“Get back here,” I instruct her. “I’ll walk over there and carry you if I have to.” I mean every word of it. I’m not letting her get away from me that easy.
She stops and folds her arms, pretending to think about it. Her head peeks around curious. Eventually she trudges her feet over to where I’m standing.
I move out of the way to show her the surprises on the counter. “Don’t ask how I found out, but I know it’s your birthday. I wanted to show you how much effort I’m willing to put in to give whatever this is between us a try. I want you to give me a chance.” I hand her the bouquet. “Happy Birthday.”
Her mouth stays in a tight line. She looks down at the flowers and holds onto them. I follow her eyes over to the cake and grin.
“I know you love horses. I wanted the cake to be special, like you are,” I declare poetically. This has to be blowing her mind. I’ve never done anything even close to this for a girl before. Tessa remains silent and expressionless.
I slide the heavy gift bag over to her and tip my head, motioning for her to open. She takes a bottle out and reads. Her lips go a little tighter and she breathes in noisily through her nose.
“There you go,” I smile, clapping my hands together once and then opening my arms up in a wide gesture. “I wanted to show you I was in this for real. Are you surprised?”
Tessa glances up at the ceiling and blinks a few times. “This is not real,” she begins, shaking her head back and forth. Her eyes dart back down going from the cake, to the gift bag, to the flowers still in her hand. “Because it can’t be. This. Cannot. Be. Real.”
“Oh, it’s real,” I announce proudly, nodding my head and grinning. The blonde curls surrounding her face bounce as she raises her head to look up at me. I feel compelled to reach over and grab one, pulling gently on the curl so that I can watch it spring back into place.
Her hand takes a swinging karate chop at mine moving away from touch. “This is your effort? This is you showing me I’m special? Is this your idea of some sick joke?” Tessa turns the bouquet in my direction. “Where are the flowers? This is a bunch of dried up filler,” she spits angrily slamming the bouquet down hard on the counter. “And a bag of shampoo?” She pulls out a plastic bottle. “I’m sorry. Make that shampoo and conditioner in one. Gee that sounds convenient, maybe I can wash my hair in ten seconds.”
I don’t like where this is going. I watch her rage on in disbelief. This is not how I saw this playing out.
“A horse birthday cake. I think you might have wasted your effort, Tucker. I hate horses, I hate cake and my birthday is in March.”
Shiiiiiit. I got played. Ashley screwed me over. How could I have been so stupid?
“This is your idea of an effort to make me feel special?” she asks bewildered. “Did you just pull these things out of your ass?”
I can’t admit to her I contacted Ashley asking for advice. That she set me up to look like a jack ass. God Damn Ashley Simons, what the hell was I thinking?
My shoulders collapse. “Tessa, all of this is new to me. The flowers, the cake, the shampoo, I thought I was doing something good. I can’t seem to do the right thing with you. I’m sorry I didn’t kiss you and then I’m sorry that I did. I didn’t kiss you because I didn’t want you to think I was like Josh. Then I did kiss you to prove to you and me there were feelings between us. And there was. There is. I feel very strongly for you.”
Tessa doesn’t respond. Her eyes lose the anger and she frowns staring down at the floor. There’s still something else. My stomach turns waiting for whatever it is.
“Then why did you go to the hut with Brianne?” Her eyes, two wide saucers look back up at me filled with hurt.
“Nothing happened, I swear,” I say looking into her eyes.
Her eyes drop away from mine. For her I’m Josh all over again, it doesn’t matter what I do. She won’t get over it. Defeated, I push through the swinging doors and leave her alone in the kitchen.
Once outside I lean against the side of the building, out of sight. Pissed at myself, and pissed for letting Ashley make a fool out of me.
It’s done.
I liked a girl. I tried. It didn’t work. Guess that’s life.
As soon as I’m sure she’s gone, I go in to clean up the mess this disaster has left. I take my phone out and feel the need to snap a picture of the gigantic horse cake. So I won’t forget, a reminder for the next time, reminding me to run away.
Do I chuck this cake? It seems such a shame to waste it, but what explanation is there for a giant uneaten horse cake sitting on the counter. I don’t need everyone around here knowing what an ass I made of myself tonight.
I fold my hands behind my head and release a loud sigh. A bag of bargain shampoo? I’m an idiot. I grab the handle and lift the heavy bag off the counter. I knew those flowers weren’t right. I should have said yes when the lady asked me if she could put some roses in it. Stupid. I look. Where are they? They aren’t on the counter where she slammed them down. Where did they go? I scan the counters, the floor, and all the garbage cans. They’re gone. A smile takes over my entire face. She took them with her.
Looks like it isn’t done after all.
CHAPTER TWO
Dear Tucker,
Heard about the birthday mishap. That sucks. Hope you learned your lesson. If you like a girl pay better attention to her likes and dislikes. Ask a few questions, get to actually know her.
Tessa pays attention. You have two sisters, a yellow lab named Oscar, a red pick-up, you grew up in New Jersey, have family in Pennsylvania, and you smell like coconut suntan lotion.
I also know about your sick grandma, your concern for our troops and your poor dead dog. Tessa may be naïve, but I’m not. I applaud your effort.
I still don’t trust you. Change my mind.
Ashley
Dear Ashley,
I’m working on it. I feel strongly for her. This is all new to me.
Tucker
Attachment: Horsecake.jpg
Tucker,
The horse cake picture. I can’t even begin to tell you how hard I laughed. Her description did not do it justice. Thank you for sending.
Tessa told me about the hut. I understand about being new to feelings, making a stupid decision out of frustration. I may have talked to her about it when she called, and she may be a little more understanding of the situation now.
If you really like her, you can’t do it again.
She still doesn’t know about our communication, probably best for now we keep it this way.
Ashley
P.S. Next time you see her wear your glasses.
Mark
I wake up to a female giggle followed by a quick, shh. I look over at the large squirming lump of covers on Sawyer’s bed. Waking up to this is the worst thing imaginable. The springs on my bed squeak as I sit up causing the giggling lump to stop moving. My insides twist in a knot. All this time at camp and she chooses now to sleep in Sawyer’s bed, with me right there in the same room. I throw some clothes on and get the hell out there as fast as I can.
The other day led me to believe Cassie and I were finally headed in a new direction. I almost convinced myself she was looking at me differently. But now it looks like nothing’s changed.
No bait, just a hook, this is a distraction. I stare blankly down at the water. At what point in the last few weeks did my crush on Cassie turned into something more? I always liked her, but the way I’m feeling now is different…more.
Wait (The Fast Series) Page 12
