Goodnight Lady

by Martina Cole

  ‘She eats so much, Briony, we should cut her down. Mum said she was getting too heavy for her to lift.’

  Briony laughed. ‘Mother always says that, then she feeds her a great slice of apple pie.’

  Kerry was at the sleeping stage of pregnancy. At five and a half months, all she wanted to do when she relaxed was have a quick nap. She yawned widely, making a throaty noise. Briony laughed.

  ‘Keeping you up, are we, Kel?’

  ‘Oh, Briony, I feel so tired. I’ll have to have an early night tonight.’

  Briony was immediately concerned. ‘Look, I think you should cut the club now until after the birth. Concentrate on your recording. I reckon that’s where you’ll be best off. The contract’s signed and they can’t do nothing. You just get that out of the way. Bessie Knight can do two spots at the club, she’ll be glad of the dosh anyway.’

  Kerry nodded lazily. ‘I like Bessie, I like all the Velvetones. She goes down well and all, don’t she? With the punters. Very good-looking woman.’

  Bernadette said, without thinking, ‘Marcus said she ain’t bad looking for a ...’ She stopped speaking and the room went very quiet. ‘Oh, Kerry, I’m sorry.’

  Kerry pulled herself upright, awake now.

  ‘For a what, Bernie? A blackie? A soot? What did the marvellous Marcus Dowling say then?’

  Briony knelt up and put her hand on Kerry’s leg.

  ‘Come on, Kel, she never meant nothing by it. Let’s not let this ruin a nice evening. It’s bad enough we ain’t got our Eileen here. Let’s not have any rows. Not tonight anyway.’

  Kerry made a moue. ‘Well!’ Then, her voice lowering, she said: ‘I’m shitting myself about having this baby, Bri, I don’t know if I’m strong enough to face what it’s going to bring.’

  Bernadette leant forward in her chair and said firmly, ‘Don’t you worry, Kel, we’ll weather anything. That baby is going to be the best looked after kid this side of the water.’

  Kerry smiled.

  ‘I wonder what I’ll have. And what Eileen will have. Mother’s over the moon about Eileen’s baby at least.’

  Briony blew out her lips in a very unladylike way.

  ‘It’s your baby she should be pleased about, if anyone’s. Eileen won’t be able to cope.’

  ‘Mum wants it, don’t she?’

  Briony laughed. ‘Well, Mum ain’t getting it! Eileen’s coming here. Once she’s delivered safely, we’ll see how the land lies. If she still ain’t all the ticket, she can go back to Sea View. I’ll have the child.’

  Bernie and Kerry both heard the deep aching longing in her voice and exchanged glances.

  ‘You!’

  Kerry’s voice was loud and Briony looked her full in the face. In the firelight Briony’s hair looked redder. than ever, her eyes for once a glittering black.

  ‘And why not? I’ll get a wet nurse in to do the business with the feeding, and I’ll oversee its upbringing. What’s so bloody strange about that?’

  Kerry shrugged. ‘Well, ain’t you got enough on your plate? In a way I think Mum would be the best bet. Let’s face it, she’s sod all else to do all day.’

  ‘She’s also got Rosalee and her life with Abel, such as it is. She’s too old for a baby in the house. Not only that, I can give it more, give it a better start in life.’

  Kerry sat back on the settee. ‘I suppose so. Bri?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Can I ask you something, without you getting all aereated?’

  Briony grinned. ‘Of course.’

  ‘You really miss Benedict, don’t you?’

  Briony’s face dropped. She bit her lip before answering.

  ‘Shall I tell you something? I miss that boy with a vengeance. I’ll be walking down the road, happy as a sandboy, and then I’ll see his little face. Wonder what he’s doing, who he’s talking to. Whether or not he’s happy.’ She stared into the fire then, watching the flickering of the flames.

  ‘In the dead of the night, I daydream. I imagine how it could be, you know. I imagine me and him living here, Tommy and me married and looking after him. Tommy taking him out to play in the garden, a swing for him, a rabbit. You know, things children like. I see him asleep in bed, and me kissing him goodnight, ironing his little clothes meself, ready for the next day. I see me combing his hair, smoothing it over his forehead. I miss him all right, Kerry. I miss him so much it’s like a physical pain. Especially on his birthday or Christmas, because I can’t ever really touch him, or smell him, or talk to him. He’s my child and I have no contact with him at all.’

  Her voice trailed away and Bernadette patted her shoulder. Rosalee leant towards her and kissed her, a whacking wet kiss that sounded loud in the quietness of the room. Briony hugged her sister close, smothering her with the little dry kisses she knew Rosalie loved.

  ‘I think you’re right, Bri. I think Eileen and her baby will be better off here. At least you’ll really love it.’

  Briony looked at Kerry and said: ‘And I need a baby to love, don’t I?’ Her eyes were full of tears.

  ‘You can have my baby and all if you want.’

  Briony coughed to give herself time to recover.

  ‘I’ll love your baby, Kerry, I’ll love it and care for it. I swear that to you.’

  Kerry smiled. ‘I feel just like you do, about Evander. I think of him in the night. It’s as if the darkness makes you think more somehow. I imagine me and him married, and everyone pleased for us...’

  Briony nodded. ‘I know. I’m sorry I chased him away, Kerry. Honestly. If I could put the clock back, I would.’

  Kerry answered her bitterly, ‘But I don’t want him back, that’s the funny thing. Because it’s only now, with this baby, that I realise I was chasing a big dream. A pretend life. Because I’m not strong enough to live a life with him. I know that now. This baby has taught me that much.’

  Bernadette said softly, ‘Are you going to keep the baby after you have it, Kerry? Have you decided yet?’

  She shook her head vigorously.

  ‘Ask me again after the birth. One minute I want it, I love it to death. The next the thought of its colour and the effect it’s going to have makes me feel faint. I can’t answer you, Bern, ’cos I don’t know the answer meself.’

  ‘Well, whatever you decide, I’ll stand by you. And so will you, Bernie, won’t you?’

  Bernadette nodded her head. ‘Of course. There’s a girl at the club, her baby’s with a woman in Devon. She travels down every couple of months to see her. The baby’s father is a married man, and she can’t hack the thought of people knowing she has an illegitimate child. She says the arrangement works well, ’cos the father coughs up the money like.’

  Kerry sighed. ‘I don’t know if I could have the baby too far away. Oh, to be honest I don’t know what the fuck I want. I don’t know whether I want a shit, a shave or a shampoo, as the old man used to say.’

  They all laughed then, the atmosphere lightening. Rosalee pulled on Briony’s sleeve and she said to her, ‘What, darling, what do you want?’

  Pointing to the nuts, she opened her mouth, opening it as wide as it would go.

  Bernadette and Kerry both started screeching with laughter, Kerry’s with a tinge of hysteria to it.

  Briony picked up the bowl of nuts and said seriously, ‘Of course, madam. If madam wants the nuts, madam must have them, tout suite!’

  Rosalee closed her mouth and Kerry shook her head slowly. ‘At least she knows what she wants, Bri, which is more than I do. Ain’t that right, Rosie darlin’?’

  Rosalee clapped her hands together and made the deep-throated gurgle that meant she was happy.

  Chapter Thirty

  Briony ran through her front door like a lunatic. Pulling off her coat, she raced up the stairwell, shouting to Cissy over her shoulder.

  ‘Tea, hot and steaming. I’m freezing.’

  Cissy picked up the full length silver fox coat and tutted to herself as she went through to the kitchen.
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br />   Briony went into Kerry’s bedroom where the midwife was making Kerry comfortable.

  ‘How are you, Kel, all right? I came immediately.’

  Kerry lay against the pillows, her face shining with sweat. ‘I’m all right, Bri.’

  The midwife wiped her face with a damp cloth. ‘This is a quick birth, I’ve seen the type before. One lady I had was up and over it all in less than three hours! She won’t go long. The doctor’s seen her and he’s coming back later, he’s got two emergencies. Christmas is always the same.’

  Briony smiled at her. ‘Go down and get yourself a cuppa, I’ll stay with her.’

  The woman left the room gratefully. Briony Cavanagh was paying her a lot of money to deliver this child and keep it quiet. She had no intention of blotting her copybook, not where Briony Cavanagh was concerned.

  Kerry moaned as another pain shot through her. ‘Imagine, a Christmas baby, Bri. In another half an hour it’s Christmas Day!’

  ‘And what a present, eh? A baby.’

  ‘Now I know how poor old Mary felt!’

  Briony laughed, pleased at how well Kerry was coping.

  ‘At least she had a husband, Bri, that’s one thing in her favour.’

  Briony sat on the bed and said, ‘Yeah, but he wasn’t the father of the child, was he? Poor old Joseph got all the hag and none of the pleasure!’

  Kerry grinned, scandalised. ‘If Mum was here, she’d flatten you for that remark.’

  ‘Yeah, well, she ain’t, is she? And it’s only the truth anyway. How are the pains?’

  ‘Let’s just say they’re there, shall we? Give me a drink of water, Bri, I’m parched.’

  She doubled up as another pain shot through her. The sweat was standing out on her brow and Briony picked up the cloth and wiped her sister’s face gently.

  ‘Oh, that’s lovely, Bri.’

  ‘Here you are, have a drink of water.’ She held the heavy crystal glass to her sister’s lips.

  Kerry gulped at the water, the coolness easing the burning of her throat.

  ‘Have a guess what I heard today, when I was shopping.’

  ‘What, a bit of scandal?’

  Briony grinned. ‘No, nothing like that. I heard your record being played in all the music shops. It’s selling wonderfully.’

  ‘Oh, good.’ Kerry had a lot more on her mind at the moment and sighed.

  ‘I wish this bloody baby would hurry up and come, I’m starving.’

  Briony laughed.

  ‘Bri, would you do me a favour?’

  ‘Of course, anything.’

  ‘Get me Mum, would you? I want me mum.’

  Briony heard the hurt in her sister’s voice and said calmly, ‘Of course I will, love.’

  Standing up she walked to the door, saying over her shoulder,

  ‘I’ll send the midwife back up and go and get the old woman meself. Be back soon, all right?’

  Kerry nodded, panting in the aftermath of a pain.

  Briony ran down the stairs and through to the kitchen. ‘Can you go back up, I have to go out.’

  ‘I’ve just made your tea!’

  ‘Then drink it yourself, Cissy. Mrs H, make Kerry something light - she’s starving. Coddled eggs will do. Where’s me coat?’

  Cissy went to the scullery where the coat was hanging up, dripping water from the snow. Shaking it, she took it out to Briony.

  Dragging it on her slim frame, she smiled at everyone. ‘Be back in two ticks. I’m going to get me mother. Keep your eye on Kel for me, all right. And if Bernie rings, tell her to get herself home, though with a bit of luck Kevin Carter will have tracked her and Marcus down.’

  ‘All right, Bri. Get yourself off. And drive carefully, the weather’s atrocious.’ Mrs Horlock’s voice was concerned.

  Briony felt a glow come over her. Kissing the old woman’s wrinkled cheek, she said, ‘Look after Kerry, won’t you?’

  Mrs Horlock smiled. ‘Of course I will. Now you get going before this snow gets worse.’

  After Briony left the kitchen, the midwife said: ‘She’s a lot nicer than you’d think, isn’t she?’

  Cissy nodded. ‘Yes. But if anything happens to Kerry, you’ll see a different side to her, so get yourself back up the stairs.’

  The woman didn’t need to be told twice. She left the kitchen in double quick time.

  ‘If Molly comes, I’ll be very surprised.’

  Mrs Horlock shook her head sagely.

  ‘If Briony wants her here for Kerry, then she’ll come. Briony will see to that.’

  Cissy poured herself a cup of tea and in her mind admitted to the truth of that statement.

  If Briony wanted her, she’d get her.

  Molly was trimming the small tree with Rosalee passing her the ornaments as she always did. Marcus and Bernadette had brought round presents for them both, and Molly looked at the gaily wrapped parcels with sweet anticipation. Briony’s presents to Rosalee were with them; Rosalee’s was a new coat of deep red wool that would keep her as warm as toast. Bernadette had told her that earlier. Briony had also bought Rosalee a collection of hand-made animals that she could put on to her dressing table. They were carved from hard wood and Rosalee would be unable to break them.

  ‘This cake is lovely, Mrs Cavanagh, did you make it yourself?’ He knew Molly had, but he also knew she liked to boast about the fact.

  ‘I did, it’s me own recipe. Boiled fruit cake it is. Quick and tasty, with just enough cinnamon to give it a kick.’

  ‘And a drop of brandy as well, Mum, if I know you.’

  Molly laughed.

  ‘Of course. A drop of the hard doesn’t go amiss with dried fruit. They complement each other.’

  The feeling in the house was festive and cheery. It was into this happy warmth that Briony came, bursting through the doorway in a flurry of snow.

  ‘Briony!’ Bernie’s voice was high with shock.

  ‘Hello, Bernie, I’ve been trying to locate you all afternoon. Kerry’s in labour.’

  Rosalee had set up a screeching from excitement, her huge cumbersome body rocking itself in her chair by the fire.

  ‘Hello, Rosie darlin’.’ Briony kissed her sister who pulled her into a hard embrace.

  Molly watched with contempt. So that whore’s time was on, was it? Well she hoped she had a dead child. That would make Molly’s Christmas.

  Briony extricated herself from Rosalee’s arms and said, ‘She wants you, Mum.’

  Molly carried on fiddling with the tree.

  ‘Oh, she does, does she? Well, she’ll have to know what it’s like to want then, won’t she?’

  Briony stood up, staring at her mother with eyes narrowed dangerously. Bernadette closed her eyes. Marcus, on the other hand, watched in fascination as Briony went to her mother and said: ‘I don’t think you realise, Mum, but you haven’t got any say in it. You’re coming if I have to drag you there myself.’

  Molly looked down at her tiny daughter and smiled grimly. ‘I’d like to see you try, madam.’

  Briony lifted her arm and Bernadette jumped from her seat. Pulling Briony away, she said, ‘Come on, Mum. How long can you keep all this up? It’s Christmas. Poor Kerry’s got enough on her plate as it is. Try and have a bit of Christian spirit, you’re always going on about it.’

  Molly sneered at her daughters.

  ‘That bitch of hell can go and die for all I care, that child is a stain on the earth. It’s ... it’s an abomination! She wants me — me! — to go to her in her labour. Well, she can want all she likes, the whore. I couldn’t care if Christ himself or the angel Gabriel appeared in me kitchen this second, I still wouldn’t go.’

  ‘You’re a vicious old cow, Mother. Come on, Bernie, help me get Rosalee’s coat on.’

  Molly stood in front of Rosalee and shouted, ‘She goes nowhere.’

  Briony laughed. ‘Oh yes she does, because this house is still in my name. I put you down as the lodger, Mother. I handed it to you only as a lodger. You won’t ow
n it unless I die before you. It was my way of keeping Abel’s hands off it. So if I’m going to put you out - which I fully intend to, legally mind - then Rosalee is homeless, isn’t she? I don’t suppose they’d welcome her and all next-door. Also, the allowance stops so you’ll have to live off Abel who gets a good wedge from me, by the way, for doing fuck all! Or you’ll have to get yourself a job.’

  Molly’s face paled.

  ‘You wouldn’t do that to me? You wouldn’t use your money to force my hand, surely?’

  Briony smiled nastily. ‘Wouldn’t I? You don’t know me very well, Mother. In fact, you don’t really know me at all. You get your coat on, or me and you are really finished, Mum, I mean it. Not another penny do you get. I’ll make it my business to let everyone know me and you are old news. That anyone giving you a kind word will answer to me.’

  Picking up her mother’s coat from the peg behind the door, Briony threw it across the kitchen at her. Molly instinctively caught it.

  ‘Come on, Kerry is well on her time and you must be there to greet your grandchild.’

  Rosalee stood by the door, her huge bulk blocking it. She smiled at everyone with her wide grin and Marcus smiled back at her. He liked Rosie, which endeared him to Bernie and her sisters. It was not a fake liking. He genuinely accepted her.

  ‘Come on, Rosie, you come with me and your mum in my car. Bernadette, you go with Briony.’

  She could have kissed him. He was trying to defuse the situation.

  Walking out of the door, he took Bernadette and Rosalee with him. Briony and Molly stared into each other’s face. Molly was amazed at how beautiful this child of hers was. The white skin, standing out in contrast to her hair, and those deep green eyes really made for a beautiful woman. Yet at this moment she felt nothing for her except contempt. A deep-rooted contempt, because she was owned by this girl, owned by her own flesh and blood. Now she had to go to her whore of a daughter, the one daughter she had truly loved and who now disgusted her, or else give up her easy way of life.