Secrets (Swept Saga)

by Nyx, Becca Lee

  “It’s from Halloween, haven’t you seen the movie?”

  “No, I don’t like scary movies.”

  Tiffany opened her mouth in surprised and gasped at me. “What blasphemy is this? You don’t like scary movies?

  “No, not really.”

  “Well, I’m going to change that tonight! We’re going to watch-“

  “Let me guess,” I said cutting her off, “Halloween.”

  Tiffany smiled at me, “However did you know?”

  “Lucky guess.” I answered and chuckled.

  Tiffany put in the movie and sat down next to me on the couch. The movie started to play, and then she asked me if I wanted popcorn. She got up to make some and sat down just in time for the beginning credits.

  I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared by a movie in my life. For a late 1970s movie, it was intense. I thought it was weird when Tiffany laughed in the weirdest parts, I didn’t understand her humor. I think I jumped and screamed way more than Tiffany was expecting and it only made her laugh more. I usually stick to romantic comedies or just romance and I rarely strayed from the genre. There were a few times I watched disaster movies, but I couldn’t handle them. I didn’t even watch much sci-fi which is ironic considering I want to work for NASA one day. I just can’t take the suspense, and sci-fi movies are always full of suspense and missions gone wrong.

  “Wasn’t that an awesome movie?” Tiffany asked with a beaming smile.

  “Out of all the words that I can think of to describe this movie, I don’t think awesome is one of them,” I replied.

  Tiffany just smiled at me, and then said, “Did you know that the mask that Michael Meyers, the killer, wore was a captain kirk mask painted white?”

  “Really?” I answered, she had piqued my interest. Star Trek was one show that I did like. I had completely forgotten about it, too.

  “Isn’t that cool?” She asked

  “Yeah, it really is, I like Star Trek.”

  “I’ve never watched it, but I know what it is.”

  “We’ll have to watch an episode or two together sometime.” I offered then looked at my phone. I didn’t realize how late it was. “Oh my goodness, I need to go to bed.” I yawned.

  “Is it really that late?” She asked

  “Yeah.”

  “We need to do this once a week, watch a movie. It’s a good way to relax.”

  “Sure, as long as I get to pick the movie every other week.” I said, stretching.

  “Alright,” She agreed and yawned.

  “Night.” I said before going to bed.

  “Good night, don’t let the boogeyman get you!” She said with a bemused grin and an evil laugh ensued.

  I rolled my eyes and went into my room and shut the door. I lay down on my bed, my eyes felt heavy and soon I was asleep.

  I didn’t sleep well last night. I kept seeing a man in white mask, holding a long knife. I shudder at the memory as I enter the library. I wasn’t expecting a movie like that to give me nightmares as an adult! I walked up to the shelf that housed the book that I was looking at yesterday. There are a few people, but most are either on their computers or reading. One guy looked at me, then turned to his friend and whispered something, I don’t know what he said, but I had a feeling that it was about me. I looked for the book I was reading yesterday, but I couldn’t find it.

  I walk up and down the aisle looking at the different books and found one on Russian. I pulled the book out of the shelf and take it over to a table. I open it up and start reading it. It’s a text book and it’s going over the basic letters and vows, there are phonetic spellings for each of the symbols. I’ve been thinking about taking a course in Russian. If I work for NASA there’s a very good chance I’ll meet someone who speaks Russian, considering they have a space program too, and if I remember correctly, one of the guys from NSYNC got to be in their space program. I skim over the words, and imagine what it’s like to be fluent in a language other than English. I have a goal that I’ve put on the side to try and become fluent in as many languages as I can. It’s really not something that I feel like I have to do, but more something that I would like to do just for the fun of it. As I skim, I notice that there is a formal word for hello and an informal word. I want to go with the informal word so I find the word, hi, and whisper it to myself and repeat it over and over until I’m sure I have it down, then I find, How are you? And do the same. I now know a phrase in Russian. Now if I could just learn the rest of the language. I see Gabriel walking towards me out of peripheral vision; I turn around, smile, stand up and give him a hug. “Privet, kak dela,” I say before giving him a kiss.

  “What?” Gabriel asks, pulling back when the kiss is over.

  “I said, Hi how are you, in Russian.” I smile at him.

  “Since when do you speak Russian?” He asks.

  “Since I picked up this book and started looking at it.” I answered.

  “What made you want to learn Russian?”

  “Well, if I’m going to work for NASA, there’s a chance that I might run into someone who speaks Russian, they have a space program, too, you know.”

  “I didn’t think about that.” Gabriel says sounding impressed.

  “I think I’m going to take Russian next semester,” I tell him.

  “So what did you want to talk about?” He asks. I had almost forgotten that I told him that I needed to talk to him.

  “My new roommate.” I answer.

  “What about your new roommate? Don’t tell me you want…” He starts then stops himself mid-sentence.

  “Want what?” I ask genuinely confused.

  “Another threesome.” He whispers and lowers his eyes.

  “Um, that thought hasn’t even crossed my mind, and no I don’t. I’m fine with you, just you.”

  “Well you’re with Ryan, too let’s not forget that.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “I’m not sure that I do, are you telling me that you like being with only me or are you telling me that you like being with me and Ryan?”

  “I wanted to talk to you about my roommate because she’s friends with Emily, or at least I think she is.” I say ignoring his question and changing the subject.

  “Who’s your roommate?” He asks and doesn’t say anything about the fact that I didn’t answer his question.

  “Her name is Tiffany Price.” I say and watch his face for any kind of recognition.

  He doesn’t say anything and gives me a blank stare. “You don’t know who she is?” I ask.

  “I’ve never heard of her.”

  “So Emily never mentioned her.” I conclude.

  “Emily and I didn’t talk much; our relationship was more about sex.” He says.

  “Oh.” Is all I can manage to say. I try to imagine what it’s like to only know someone physically and not emotionally. I guess that’s kind of my relationship with Gabriel right now. I know how to please him physically, but I do want to get to know him. He’s shared bits and pieces of his past with me, but it seems hard to get him to really open up. Maybe he doesn’t know how, or maybe he’s just not used to talking to someone who does care. Whatever it is, I long to really connect with him. Then I remember from his text earlier that he said something about being out with Caden.

  “Who’s Caden?” I blurt, then realize that my question must seem random and out of place.

  “Remember that I told you I mentor kids? Caden is the boy I’m currently mentoring. We went on a hike today.”

  “Oh, so that’s why you weren’t really texting much.”

  “Yeah, I try not to be distracted when I’m with him; I want him to know that I’m there to spend my time solely with him.”

  “That makes sense and I understand. If I know that you’re out with him, I’ll refrain from contacting you.” I offer.

  “Look, you needed me and I responded, I’m not upset with you at all. I was almost done with the hike anyway. You can text me or call me whenever you need me, oka
y?”

  “Okay.” I answer and smile at him, and then my phone goes off. Ryan has text me and he’s out of debate class he wants to take me out. Why is it that Ryan texts me whenever I’m with Gabriel? It’s going to be hard to balance these two out.

  “What is it?” Gabriel asks.

  “Ryan wants to go out tonight.” I answer. “I’ve got to go.”

  “But I just got here.” Gabriel says.

  “I know and I’m happy you came, but I really have to go. I’m sorry. Thank you for talking to me though.” I say and give him a hug.

  “But...” He says and I cut him off with a quick kiss, and head out the door. I don’t look back at Gabriel but I imagine him staring at me with a longing look on his face.

  I get back to my dorm, get my shower bag together and take a shower. I quickly wash, shave, and get dressed. I go back to my room and fix my hair and makeup. I look at myself in the mirror and make sure that I approve of my look. I decide that I look good enough, when I hear a knock at the door. Tiffany isn’t here, I don’t know where she’s at, but I answer the door. Ryan is here. He stands there, his brown hair combed, a black blazer is over a black t-shirt, and he’s wearing a pair of dark blue jeans. He hands me a bouquet of flowers. I notice all the different kinds of flowers that are in it and I don’t recognize any of them. “What are they?” I ask

  “Well, this bouquet is special, you have Lavender, because I am devoted to you,” He says indicating the purple flowers, “Primrose, because I can’t live without you, Bird of paradise, because you are magnificent, and finally Anemone because my love for you is unfading.”

  I don’t know what to say to him. It is the single sweetest gesture anyone has ever done. How he came up with this I don’t know. The flowers all put together are beautiful. I’m going to have to remember to take one of each flower and press it so that I can have them forever. “Thank you.” I finally say, then dig a cup out of the cupboard fill it with water and place the flowers in it. I would cut the stems, but I don’t want to keep Ryan waiting.

  Turning to Ryan I give him a hug, “Really, Ryan thank you for the flowers, they’re beautiful. I love them.” Ryan kisses me, then pulls away and leads me to his car. I don’t know where we’re going, I couldn’t get him to tell me, but so far I like how things are going. I still can’t get over how beautiful Ryan’s car is. He is such a lucky guy to have all of this stuff and a father who cares so much about him to finish the car for him. I really wish I knew who my father was. Most of the time, I’m fine with not knowing, but for some reason, I’m now curious. I’m going to have to talk to my mother about it sometime.

  “What are you thinking about?” Ryan asks, breaking my train of thought.

  “Nothing important.” I answer.

  “If you were thinking about it, then it is important.”

  “I was wondering who my father is.” I say after releasing a deep breath

  “You’ve never cared before whom your father is.”

  “I know, but for some reason I’m thinking about it now. I don’t know why, but I kind of want to know who he is. Why did he leave like he did? What color was his hair? What was he like? I have all the questions that haven’t been answered.”

  “Didn’t your mother talk about him?”

  “No, all she’s told me is that he was gone the minute she told him she was pregnant with me. As far as I know, he’s never met me.”

  “Crystal, you shouldn’t worry about it. If he didn’t want you and take the time to get to know you, then he doesn’t deserve you.”

  “I know, you’re right, Ryan, but I just can’t help it.”

  “What brought on all of this anyway?”

  “I was looking at your car and thinking how lucky you are that your father cares so much about you that he fixed your car up for you.”

  “Hey, don’t forget that my dad likes you, too.”

  “I know, but it’s not the same. I like your family, but they’re not mine.”

  “Maybe one day they will be.” He says and I stare at him in shock. Did he just say what I think he said? Is he talking about the “M” word? I’m not ready for that. I know he loves me, but I still don’t know if I love him like that enough to marry him. If we ever did get married, it would be far down the road after I finish college and get a job at NASA. I’m not going to ruin my chances by dropping out to get married.

  “Ryan, I don’t know, I can’t think that far ahead just yet, I...”

  “Look, I was just saying one day, a long time from now, don’t worry.” He says cutting me off.

  I breathe a sigh of relief. “Well, okay then, but there’s so much I want to do, you know?”

  “I know and I want you to accomplish your goals, you know that.”

  “I know.” I answer.

  Ryan pulls into the parking lot of a restaurant. It’s not as fancy as the one he took me to last time, but it still looks nice all the same. He parks the car, opens my door and escorts me in the restaurant. He gives his name to the hostess and he tells her exactly where he wants us to be seated. I still can’t get over that. I’ve never been with someone who is so commanding. He orders our drinks and an appetizer then stares at me. His eyes gleam with lust, or at least I think that’s what his stare indicates.

  “Do you realize just how beautiful you are?” He asks. His brown eyes still carry the same kind of intensity. I blush at his words, and take a moment to really look at him. He is gorgeous, and I don’t know why I’m only noticing this recently. Was I dead the whole time I’ve been friends with him?

  “I don’t know about beautiful, but you are handsome.” I tell him and blush again.

  “You’re even prettier when you blush.” He smiles at me. “I never did thank you for your picture last night.” He adds with a devilish grin.

  “Oh yeah, that.” I blush again. “I have a question, and it may seem weird.” I start.

  “Go on.” He prompts

  “I was looking at the picture and it seems that one of my boobs is bigger than the other.”

  “Crystal, I was staring at the picture all night long last night and there isn’t anything wrong with your tits, in fact they’re fucking beautiful.”

  “You don’t think I need a breast augmentation?” I ask.

  “What gave you that idea?” He asks

  “I don’t know, I think my boobs could be bigger.”

  “Crystal, your tits are perfect. I haven’t seen a pair that I like more than yours, they aren’t mismatched and you don’t need implants. You’re perfect just how you are.” He says and reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “I don’t know where you got the idea that you have flaws, but you don’t. Not in my eyes. There isn’t a single thing I would change about you.”

  I’m taken aback by his words. I didn’t know he really felt this way about me. He thinks I’m perfect? How can that be? I’m not perfect, I’m not flawless. How does he see this? I feel humbled by his words, and slightly guilty. His feelings for me seem genuine and yet, I still don’t know if I love him. I must be some kind of heartless person. Yet, I still need time. There’s something about Gabriel that draws me and makes me want to get to know him more. He’s free and carefree and I really like that. I recall the motorcycle ride from yesterday. I learned so much about myself just during the ride. What more could Gabriel teach me. I’m frustrated with myself; here I have Ryan pouring his heart and feelings out for me and I’m thinking about Gabriel. What’s wrong with me? Any other girl would be over the moon for a guy who talks and acts like this. I need to stop and just enjoy the moment that I’m having with him right here.

  “Ryan, you’re really sweet. I had no idea you felt that way about me.” I tell him, and worry my response is lame. I have got to work on expressing myself.

  I worked hard the rest of the night to keep my focus on Ryan, and really appreciate everything that he was doing for me and what he was saying. He really is a great guy. I always knew that, but I’ve never seen this side of him befo
re.

  When our date was over he dropped me off at my dorm. I was expecting him to come in with me, but he didn’t. He told me that I needed my sleep so I could be ready for class tomorrow. I knew he was right. I was late to school last week. I don’t want to do that again, and a night cap with Ryan would almost certainly wear me out.

  I let myself into my dorm and Tiffany is sitting there watching another movie. I have no idea what it is, but judging by the screams and blood, it’s a horror movie.

  “Do you watch anything else?” I ask

  “Hello, yourself. I haven’t seen you all day.”

  “I’ve been out.”

  “Ooh, were you with a guy?”

  “Maybe.” I answer unsure if I should tell her everything or not.

  “Who was it? Was it Emily’s ex? Did you take pictures so you could send them to her and rub it in her face?”

  “What? No? Why would I do that?” I asked, I thought she was Emily’s friend.

  “To get back at her for that flyer.” Tiffany answers like it’s the most obvious thing.

  “I don’t even know where to start with that.” I answer and walk towards my room. I really don’t want to talk about it right now.

  “I know where you can start.” She says, but I’m still not interested. My date with Ryan left me feeling sexually frustrated, and I have and early class tomorrow.

  “Tiffany, can we talk about this some other time?” I ask.

  “Sure.” She says with a shrug and turns towards the TV. I enter my room, shut the door and lie down in bed. Ryan is so sweet and I wonder if I deserve him. Is it right for me to do what I’m doing with Gabriel? I feel like this is a fight I’m going to be having with myself until I figure out what I want. I almost wish there was a guy out there that has all the things I like about Ryan and all the things I like about Gabriel all mixed together.

  My phone goes off and I have a text from Ryan, it’s a picture of his cock, as if I needed another one. I roll my eyes and stare at the picture. He really does have a nice penis. My body jolts with a twinge of pleasure as I imagine his penis inside of me. Soon I’m maneuvering my hand between my panties and skin as I feel my pussy. I bite my lip as I work on relieving my frustration. As I start to build, I need more room to work with. I pull my pants down, rub my clit, and finger myself. Next time I will have to make Ryan finish what he starts. I look over at my phone and imagine his huge cock trusting into me with the kind of power only he can muster and I’m finally sent over the edge and I quietly pant my orgasm. When I’m done, I adjust my clothes and fall asleep.