The Grace In Darkness

by Melissa Andrea

  “You need to do something to release some of that anger, little brother. Something that doesn’t include smashing in your coworker’s face.”

  “That prick deserved it.”

  “What did he do?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “Fine. Regardless of that fact, you don’t want to spend a couple nights in jail.”

  “A Dare spend a couple nights in jail? Don’t be stupid,” I said harshly.

  “You’ve really got this whole douche bag asshole act down, don’t you?”

  “Are you going to cry like Careless now?” I was pushing him, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Sebastian’s fists clench against the table. “Put those away,” I said, nodding toward his hands. “You’re not going to need them. I’m leaving.” If I didn’t want an actual broken hand, I knew I needed to walk away now. I stood up and shuffled through the kitchen door.

  “Maybe you should lay off Careless a little, Ryland,” Sebastian said, following me into the living room. “I know what she did was fucked up. But I think she knows that too.”

  “Stay out of it, Sebastian. You’re right there on my shit list too.” I stuffed the cans of beer under my arm and grabbed my keys.

  Sebastian caught my arm and jerked me back. “Are you ever going to get over that?”

  “No, Sebastian, I’m not!”

  “You’re being really selfish, Ryland. Look, I get why you’re upset. I really do. You loved her. I get that. You wanted to take care of her, but whether I helped her that night or not, she was going to leave and there was nothing you could do to stop that. At least nothing short of keeping her here against her will, and that’s what you would have done if you convinced her to stay. You know I’m right, damn it!”

  So what if I knew he was right. It didn’t change a fucking thing. I was miserable and I wanted Araya. I wanted her with me, next to me, under me, and I wanted her for forever.

  He saved me from having to say anything as he kept on talking.

  “Come out and fight with me tonight. You need an outlet.”

  “Okay.” I didn’t even think about my answer. Otherwise, I would have talked myself out of going.

  “Come on, it’ll be good for you- Wait, what?”

  “I said ooo-kay. I’ll go.” I threw the keys back on the table and sat down, opening up another beer. “This should be interesting.”

  It was close to ten when Sebastian and I walked into The Underground. It was crowded for a Thursday night and the maze of bodies sucked the air from the entire room. An instant layer of sheen covered my skin in the short distance from the door to The Soul Keeper.

  “Come one, come all. The bigger they are, the harder they’ll fall, but if you’re quick and built, it doesn’t matter your size as long as you remember only one can take the prize.” The Soul Keeper rambled on his spew, twisting his hands as he spoke. “So don’t hesitate to throw the first punch because the stakes are high and only quitters... lose.” He shrugged. “So that last line doesn’t rhyme, but you get the point.” The keeper grinned up at us as we approached his makeshift table. “What’ll it be, gentlemen?”

  The Soul Keeper, aka River White, stood and bowed dramatically. He was tall and wide, and unlike more than half of the guys here, he was a ladies’ man. Not that you could tell that by the way he was dressed, but he liked playing the part. His face was painted black and a white skull outlined his facial features. He wore a top hat and jacket to match his persona and the surroundings. He looked like a cross between Jack Skellington and the Mad Hatter. River was in charge of taking, placing, and collecting every fighter’s soul, as they referred to it. He was also in charge of the placers; those were all the stragglers who put bets on their fighter.

  River was an all right kid. He ran with Stitch and his crew and he was the baby of the group. We’d gone to school together, but that was short lived when he got kicked out for hitting a teacher. The wildfire that is high school rumors spread like crazy, but it was all speculation because River never told anyone the real reason he lashed out. Ever since then, he’d been in and out of schools and in and out of trouble. Stitch wasn’t the best influence, but he wasn’t exactly the worst, and since River had become a part of The Underground, he was doing all right for himself.

  “Don’t you ever get tired of this hellhole, Sebastian?” “Do you ever get tired of this hellhole?”

  River grinned at us and straddled his chair again. “Not one damn bit.” He nodded his head toward me. “Long time no see, Dare. I heard you got into some trouble this summer.”

  My eyes narrowed and my shoulders tensed. “Trouble?”

  “Yeah...” he said slowly and looked at Sebastian. “I heard your big brother got you a couple hours in jail for being in the wrong place at the wrong time...”

  I relaxed. “Yeah, he’s a douche like that. It’s what I get for trying to help his sorry ass.”

  “That’s what brothers are for, right?” Sebastian said, throwing an arm around my neck, cutting off my air supply.

  “Get off me,” I growled and shoved him away.

  “So what am I collecting?” River asked Sebastian.

  “The usual. Who’s fighting tonight? Anyone good?”

  River’s lips thinned and he shrugged. “Eh. A lot of the regulars. No one special. You making a comeback tonight, Ryland?”

  “I wouldn’t put it that way.”

  Sebastian pushed my shoulder and moved in close to make a dome of privacy. “You don’t have to fight tonight, little brother. You know I was all talk,” he said quietly.

  “You’ve got to be shitting me.”

  Sebastian and I groaned and turned around. Craze and his flock stood behind us. He was squinting at us with a dumbass grin on his dumbass face.

  He looked exactly the same as he had the last time I saw him, except he was sporting a massive busted eye and split lip. His knuckles were covered in blood and he kept closing and opening his fists. He spit toward our feet, but it came up short. I looked up toward his spit and grinned at him.

  “You missed.”

  “What the fuck are you doing here, little Dare?” he asked, folding his arms and shifting. “You’re not seriously planning on fighting, are you?”

  “So what if I am?”

  He slapped his thigh and hollered. “This I’ve got to see! Better yet. This I’ve got to be a part of. Soul Keeper, put me down with little Dare.” He glanced at me and lifted his eyebrows. “Unless you’re too chicken shit, little Dare? What do you think, guys? You think he’s too chicken shit to fight me?”

  “You win one fight and you think you’re king of the fucking world?” I laughed. “I hate to tell you, Craze, but you’re like a Chihuahua. All bark and zero bite.”

  “Come on, Ryland. He’s not even worth the wasted blood.”

  “No,” I said, and Sebastian stopped mid-turn. “I’ll fight him. He needs to be put in his place and I’ll be more than happy to be the one to do it.”

  I took off my hoodie and shoved it toward Sebastian. I could see him staring at me out of the corner of his eye. He was worried, but he didn’t need to be.

  “Slow down, fellas,” River said behind us. “There’s the matter of your soul to take care of.”

  Twenty minutes later, Sebastian and I stood outside the pit. Everyone had gathered around like it was some grand event. Sebastian was pretty famous around here so everyone wanted front-row seats to see what his little brother could do.

  “Are you sure you want to do this with your hand all fucked up?”

  “It’s fine,” I said, dismissing it.

  Truth was it was sore as hell. The swelling had gone down and that was something. I flexed my fingers and tried to ignore the slight pain along my knuckles.

  “You can’t fight it bare, Ryland. You’ll only screw it up more. Give it here.”

  “Sebastian-”

  “Ryland, quit being so damn stubborn and give me your fucking hand!”

  I sighed and held it out in his
direction. He placed something soft over my knuckles and I made a face at the discomfort. Starting at my wrist, he wrapped up my hand and over my knuckles. I gritted my teeth against the pain as he weaved through my inflamed fingers.

  “This isn’t a magic wrap, but it will keep you from screwing up your knuckles more.”

  I nodded and he did the same thing to the other side. I was too busy watching the growing crowd that I wasn’t paying attention to Sebastian. He smeared something under my eye and across my cheekbone, and I pulled away from him, putting up my hands.

  “What the fuck are you doing?”

  I touched my cheek and my fingertips came away slick and greasy.

  “Dude, chill out. It’s just Vaseline. It’ll give you an edge.”

  I frowned at him and then took it from him to finish smearing it on the other cheek.

  “Drink this,” he said, handing me a shot glass.

  I looked at the shot in his hand and then at him, taking it slowly. He was staring at Craze, who was surrounded by a group of people on the other side of the pit.

  “What is it?” I asked, bringing it to my lips.

  He finally looked over at me. “Liquid super power. If you’re anything like me, you’ll fight better after two or three of these,” he said, producing two more shots out of nowhere.

  “Two or three? I don’t want to be knocked on my ass, Sebastian.”

  “Just drink it,” he said, holding the small glass toward me.

  I eyed him for a second before hitting my glass to his. Gold liquid coated the rim and slid down the side onto my fingers, but I ignored it and slammed the shot the same time as Sebastian. It was a bitch going down, burning a trail along my throat, but by the time it hit my stomach, only a warm sensation lingered. I handed him back the shot and he shoved another one in my hand.

  “One more for the road.” He tipped his round toward me and downed it before I could comment. I followed suit and handed him the second empty glass. “Go get ‘em, little brother.”

  I took a deep breath and waited for that warm sensation to flow through my system, pulling my shirt over my head. I decided not to waste a perfectly good shirt with Craze’s blood.

  “How much do you remember from watching me fight?” Sebastian was at my side again.

  “Enough,” I said curtly, planting my hands on my hips.

  I was starting to feel numb and I knew the alcohol was working its magic.

  “This isn’t the time for Dare ego, little brother. I need to know what you remember and what I need to teach you in the next five minutes.”

  “I said enough, Sebastian!” I snapped and walked over to the pit entrance.

  Sebastian followed, but I ignored him and pulled myself onto the pit platform. The floor was scuffed up from one end to the other and covered in dirt and old bloodstains. Bright lights bore down on the pit’s stage and it felt like I was being cooked under their harsh heat. Everything around the pit was swallowed in darkness and I tried to squint to see the growing crowd around us.

  “Fighterssssssss... to your corners!” River’s voice boomed overhead and everyone cheered.

  I backed into my corner and Sebastian was there behind me. He leaned onto the rope that lined the pit, marking the boundaries between fighters and placers.

  “Keep your punches low. He’s already taken more broken ribs than he can handle. It’ll also hurt less. He’s left-handed so use that to your advantage. Remember, there are no rules, so don’t worry about fighting dirty because you can bet your ass he will.”

  “Anything else I should know?”

  “Yeah. Don’t let him knock you out.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  River’s voice boomed again and he repeated his spiel from before and then went on to confirm Sebastian’s earlier statement.

  “And the rules...” River smirked. “Well, that’s easy. There are no rules!”

  “Let’s get on with it,” Craze yelled, spitting off to the side. A random girl squealed in disgust as she was hit by it. She cursed Craze out and threw him the middle finger before storming off. Craze showed no interest as he stared me down with a small tilt to his lips, cracking his knuckles with his other hand.

  Off to the side of the pit, a fight broke out between two placers. Glass bottles shattered and girls screamed as two guys fought over whatever had pissed them off. Finally, the two guys were pulled apart and dragged outside.

  “Let’s try and keep the fights inside the pits, everyone.” River laughed. “May the fighting gods have mercy on your soul!”

  There was a loud blaring sound and Craze instantly came at me swinging. I was able to dodge his first swipe, but I wasn’t fast enough for the second and he caught my chin. I felt the pain as my lip split. I was thrown back a couple steps, and I touched my tongue to the rusty taste of blood. I used the back of my hand to wipe away the blood and spit.

  Craze jumped side to side, grinning like an idiot, and then taunted me forward with his hand.

  “Come on, little Dare.”

  I stalked forward, ducking one swing and then another, and connected my fist with his cheek. I swung my other elbow forward, and it hit the opposite side of his face. The pain ripping through my hand made my head spin, but I was too damn stubborn to let it control me.

  Craze groaned, bending over and holding his eye. Blood dripped down his face when he looked back at me.

  “You’re going to die!” he hissed, coming for me.

  I expected him to come at my face again so he caught me off guard, aiming low for my gut. It knocked the breath out of me, propelling me forward, and he landed another blow to my face. The world spun around me as I tried to regain my balance. I could feel the effects of the shots clouding my head and tilting the ground beneath me. My moment of weakness gave Craze the momentum he needed and he came after me again.

  He got the corner of my eye, one in my stomach, and then my face again. I stumbled back against the ropes, trying to catch my breath, and Sebastian was there.

  “Come on, Ryland! You’re not focusing. Let go of all the bullshit and kick his ass!”

  He was right. I wasn’t focused at all. So many things were running through my mind, bound to me by guilt, rage, hatred. The alcohol only managed to emphasize all those emotion until they blinded me. I could feel my face swelling, and blood and sweat oozed down my cheek. I took a deep breath and all I could hear was Mitchell’s words. All I could think about was J.D.’s actions and Careless’s betrayal. And all I wanted to see was Araya’s beautiful face. I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins, and I used it.

  I looked up at Craze just as he came after me again. My fist blocked his attack and he fell back, dazed. It was all over after that. I hit him twice in the face and a low and dirty blow to the ribs. I hit him as hard as I could, bone on bone, and I heard the crack a second before Craze dropped to his knees, holding his side. I watched him as he screamed in pain, and then someone was at my side, yanking my arm in the air.

  “Winner!”

  Sebastian hit me on the shoulder, almost knocking me forward, and then he was holding up my other arm. Everyone was cheering, but it sounded like static to me. Craze’s people were trying to help him up, but he pushed them away, glaring at me.

  “You broke my fucking rib, Dare! I’ll kill you!”

  “Don’t be a chicken shit, Craze.”

  I walked away, jumping from the pit and grimacing. Sebastian wasn’t far behind, and it wasn’t long before the crowd swallowed us. Guys slapped me on the back, congratulating me, and two girls surrounded me, kissing my cheeks.

  “First round’s on me, little brother.”

  Sebastian held a shot to my lips. The two girls had wrapped themselves around me and I wasn’t able to grab the shot myself. Sebastian barely gave me a chance to throw my head back before he emptied the liquid down my throat. It slipped from the sides of my mouth, but there was a warm tongue licking it up. I wanted to push her away- I should have pushed her away- but I didn’
t.

  I was slowly drowning and I didn’t care if I lived or died.

  “Somebody turn off the goddamn sun!” I growled, rolling over. “Shit!”

  Unfortunately, I realized too late that I’d passed out on the couch and not my bed. There was no mattress to catch me and I fell face first on the floor. I deflated against the carpet, having no urge to move.

  “Well, good morning, sunshine,” Sebastian drawled, walking into the living room.

  He must have just gotten out of the shower because he wore only a pair of jeans and he was towel drying his hair. He sat in the chair across from me, grinning.

  “Someone doesn’t know how to handle his liquor.” He made a tsking sound.

  “That’s because this someone doesn’t drink like a fish like his brother or... Fuck, my head hurts!” I groaned, flipping onto my back. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and opened them wide. “What happened last night?”

  “Rule number one, little brother, never drink so much that you don’t remember the night before. That can get you into a lot of shit!”

  “Don’t you think you should have remembered that piece of advice before you continuously fed me shot after shot?”

  “Thanks, boys.” My head flipped back at the sound of her voice and a small blonde emerged from the hallway. I didn’t recognize anything about her. When she reached the door, she turned back and blew a kiss toward us. “Last night was fun.”

  When the door closed, I lifted onto my elbows and looked at Sebastian. “Seriously, what the fuck happened last night?”

  Sebastian laughed out loud and got up, walking back toward his room.

  “Sebastian!” I called after him, but he just continued to laugh. “You better not have involved me in any of your kinky shit! We’re brothers, for Christ sake!” He was silent. “Sebastian!”

  His laughter died behind the bathroom door, and I was left with the urge never to drink again and to take a very long, very hot shower. Never again. It wasn’t worth the unknown.

  The only thing I vaguely remembered was stumbling through the apartment at three in the morning. At least I think it was three in the morning. I didn’t remember the blonde, which gave me high hopes that she came into the picture after I passed out. That was my story and I was sticking to it.