Unseen

by Stephanie Erickson

  “Like what?”

  “That you were a total failure, that you were wasting our time, and that I wanted to go get some dinner before I died,” Tracy said, completely deadpan, like the insults meant nothing to her.

  And they shouldn’t have meant anything to me. She was trying to provoke me. That was her job. But the words still stung. “I’m not a total failure,” I said quietly.

  “No. You’re not,” she said. “Far from it.” And with that, she patted me on the shoulder and left the room. Camden followed, but not before flashing me another huge smile.

  I sat alone in the room in disbelief. I’d done it. I’d actually controlled it.

  Someone knocked on the door. “Yeah,” I said without looking to see who it was.

  “I hear you’re a superstar,” Owen said, quiet caution mixed with the excitement in his voice.

  “I guess.” I was still staring at the spot where Camden had been sitting, not quite able to believe it. After all that effort, it had seemed easy, almost natural.

  He sat down in Camden’s spot, right in my line of sight, so I finally looked at him. “What if I can’t do it again tomorrow? I only did it the one time.”

  Owen laughed. “That’s what you’re in here worrying about? That you won’t be able to do it again?” He dissolved into more laughter.

  I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him. “Why is that funny?”

  He straightened up immediately, clearing his throat. “It’s not.” A smile cracked his face. “Except it is, Mac. No one’s ever achieved what you’ve done this quickly. You’re a natural! Of course you’ll be able to do it again tomorrow.”

  “I just wish she hadn’t interrupted me, so I could be sure. She scared the hell out of me.”

  A mischievous smile played on his face. “What did she do to you?”

  “She just invaded my personal space.”

  He leaned in close enough for me to feel his breath on my face. “I’d like to invade your personal space.”

  I smiled up at him. “Oh, would you now?”

  “Maybe.”

  “We’ll see.”

  “Yes, we will.” Our knees touched as he moved his whole body closer. I was tempted to turn my face, just to squash his cocky attitude, but his lips were too tempting. They curled at the corners, since he knew I’d chosen him over my own pride.

  The kiss was slow and sweet. I leaned into him, resting my hand on his knee for support.

  After a few heartbeats, he pulled back and took a deep breath, as if calming himself. “Well, I’d say it was a pretty good first day on the job after all, wouldn’t you?”

  “Yes, I would.”

  “Can I interest you in some dinner? Maybe a movie?”

  “Like a date?”

  “My, my, you’re awfully forward,” he said cheekily. “No, I was thinking we could just hang out here with everyone. It’ll give you a chance to get to know us all a little. We know you pretty well, so it would be good to even the playing field a little.”

  “Or maybe I should crawl into a hole and die. Everyone knows all the intimate details about my life.”

  “Oh, come on. You’ve got more backbone than that. I know, because I’m not attracted to spineless twits, and I find you very appealing.”

  I straightened. “Well, I’m certainly not a spineless twit.”

  “No. I didn’t think you were.”

  “As long as we’re clear on that.”

  His face turned serious as he nodded. “Crystal.”

  “Good.” I stood. “I suppose dinner and a movie wouldn’t kill me.”

  “Glad to see you’ve let go of the cult-killer theory. We’ll just have to make sure it’s not a horror movie.”

  I pushed him as we walked out, causing him to bump into the doorframe and stumble before regaining his balance.

  “Got it together there, O?” Mitchell asked from right by the doorway. I hadn’t heard his approach, so I was surprised to see him.

  “Always.”

  He nodded and smiled before walking away. I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “What?” Owen asked.

  “You’ve always got it together? Always?”

  If we’d been in one of those cheesy teenage summer flicks, he would’ve tripped right at that moment. Unfortunately, it was life, not a movie, so he kept his stride. “Don’t you forget it.”

  “Must be nice.”

  At dinner, everyone flooded me with questions, even though I was pretty sure they already knew most of the answers. Where I was from, what I studied in school, what instruments I played—that sort of thing. They all seemed excited to have a musician join the group, and they begged me to bring my guitar or keyboard or anything to play for them. I told them I wasn’t much of a peacock, but if they wanted to sing and have fun, I’d be happy to provide some background music.

  “Ok, now it’s my turn to ask a question.” All eyes were on me. “If you could live forever, what would you do with your life?” It was a fun icebreaker question I’d learned in one of my therapy classes. Every once and a while, someone would really answer it, giving you a glimpse of who they were.

  One person said travel. Another said write a book. Someone else claimed they would play all the Mario games back to back.

  Once the laughter died down, Owen chimed in, “I wouldn’t want to live that long.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “I don’t want to give people the chance to hate me. To become a burden to them. To be—” he hesitated, “—relieved when I die.”

  “Well, that’s one way to kill the mood, O,” a guy sitting across from us said.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I meant to say I’d learn to play Gasbag de la Noot.”

  “Now you’re just stealing ideas,” I said.

  The conversation regained its jovial flow, but I couldn’t help wondering what had happened to Owen. Though he always had a smile and a laugh for everyone, he’d given me a glimpse of the dark thoughts that ran deep inside him.

  All night, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was an outsider. Someone had to hate me, right? Some scorned girl who had her eyes on Owen, some unimpressed person who might perceive me as a threat for my successes today. But they were all welcoming and kind. It made me a little uneasy, particularly since there was still so much I didn’t know.

  During the movie, Owen took my hand and leaned over. “Would you relax?” he whispered. “We can all hear you wondering which one of us hates you and is covering it up.”

  I could feel myself turning six shades of red, so I was grateful for the dim lights.

  One of the guys I didn’t know paused the movie. “Listen, if being readers has taught us anything, it’s to be honest and open with the people in our lives. Because everyone else is going to know exactly what you’re thinking until you learn to block your thoughts. We’ve all been where you are.” Everyone laughed, and I tried to chuckle with them, swallowing my horror at the intimate facts they knew about me.

  The girl sitting on the floor in front of me turned and touched my leg. “Hey. It should make you feel better that we know all that stuff about you and still want hang out with you anyway.” She winked at me, and Owen burst out laughing.

  I sighed. Clearly, they weren’t bothered. I was the one who was going to have to get over this. Maybe I could level the playing field someday, but today, I’d have to settle for my small victory in the training room.

  I snuggled into Owen’s arm to watch the movie, trying to focus on what tomorrow might bring.

  14.

  My fears were unfounded. The next day, I honed in on Camden like it was nothing, so Tracy added a third person, then a fourth to the group. My next task was to change my focus to a different person’s thoughts. Once I figured out how to do it, I could easily zero in on the single voice of my choosing. It didn’t seem to matter who it was or how many people were in the room.

  By the end of the day, we’d moved out into the gym to accommodate mor
e people. She added Mitchell as a fifth person¸ and I zoned in on him immediately.

  Mitchell, what happened the day we met?

  He avoided eye contact with me, scratching the back of his neck, visibly uncomfortable. What do you mean? You were being attacked, and I thought I’d lend a hand. In retrospect, I’m not sure you needed it.

  Afterwards, though, you acted like you didn’t want to have anything to do with me. Like the very sight of me made your skin crawl.

  In the back of my mind, I knew the others were listening and trying to distract me, but I didn’t care. This was my chance for answers, and I wasn’t going to let it pass me by again.

  He sighed heavily. Put yourself in my place, Mac. I knew you were a reader. I also knew you thought you were all alone. I wanted to tell you, I did. But it wasn’t the right time, and I wasn’t the right person. I needed to get myself away from you before I messed things up.

  I thought about that for a minute. Things? What things?

  Just things, I don’t know. He shrugged in his chair, clearly getting flustered. There’s a protocol to follow with new people, and I didn’t want to be responsible for doing it wrong.

  He didn’t elaborate and I saw him give Tracy a desperate stare, silently pleading with her to move on. I wondered if the “thing” he meant was David sending Owen to check up on me.

  “All right, that’s enough. I think that’s good for today. Thank you for coming, everyone. We’ll see you tomorrow,” Tracy said.

  The rest of the week went even better. Maddie’s supportive do-great-on-your-first-week text messages combined with my successes kept my spirits high. By Friday, all the available members of the Unseen were helping me train in the gym. I could hone in on one person’s voice and change my focus at will. I even learned to recognize voices, and zero in on someone with a purpose, instead of just picking someone randomly.

  After we finished up on Friday, Tracy dismissed everyone and asked me to meet her in the training room for a debriefing, as she called it.

  She sat down across the table from me, then leaned forward and interlaced her hands. “Listen, Mackenzie, I’m going to be honest.”

  My heartbeat quickened as dread crept into my stomach, feeling heavy, like a rock.

  She ignored my panic. “We’ve covered about a month’s worth of material in a week.”

  “Okay…” Was that good or bad?

  “I suppose it’s good and bad. It’s more than good; it’s amazing. I’ve never seen anyone who’s as much of a natural as you are. There’s still a lot for you to learn, but I’m afraid there will come a time when I can’t teach you anything more.” Her voice got a little quieter, almost reflective. “I’m not sure what we’ll do then.”

  “Well, it’s only been a week. I’m sure we don’t need to worry about that already.”

  “Maybe, maybe not. At any rate, you probably don’t need to worry about it at all. You’re going to be a great asset to the Unseen.”

  I’d never thought of that. I could actually be an asset, rather than a bumbling fool everyone and their brother could read.

  A rather deadly asset, at that.

  “What?” The comment snapped me out of my own mind like someone had cracked a whip next to my head.

  “What?” she asked, her face calm.

  “You said, ‘A rather deadly asset, at that.’ What the hell does that mean?”

  “Shit. You heard that? I apologize for my carelessness.” She left it at that, as if there was nothing more to say on the matter.

  I’d never heard her swear before, and it startled me. “But what did you mean?”

  “Nothing. Nothing at all. That’s enough for today. Truly remarkable work this week, Mackenzie. I look forward to seeing just how far you can push your abilities.” She had never been one for social courtesies, but this exit was abrupt, even for her.

  I followed her out. “Tracy, wait.”

  She waved her hand over her back, but she didn’t stop walking.

  Owen met me halfway across the gym. He raised his voice a little over the clang of the weights being used. “What happened?”

  “Tracy said I would be a deadly asset. What the hell does that mean?”

  “Oh God, she said that to you? I can’t believe she would say something like that! Especially without talking to David first.”

  “No, she thought it. Honestly, I think she forgot to put her wall back up or something. I can’t ever read her unless she lets me. She apologized for her carelessness and hustled out of the room.”

  “Shit.”

  “That’s exactly what she said. What did she mean, Owen? I have a right to know.”

  He ran a hand down my arm. “I’m sorry, Mac. I don’t have the right to tell you.”

  I turned and walked away from Owen, marching straight to David’s door. Knocking loudly, I barged in. “David, listen, it’s time to come clean—” I stopped short, finding his office empty.

  Owen jogged up behind me. “David is out for the weekend.”

  “Of course he is.”

  “Listen, I’m sure Tracy just misspoke. She’s very military in her mindset; you’ll get used to it. Don’t jump to any conclusions, and certainly don’t worry about it.” His voice was even and reassuring, but his eyes told a different story. They were big, and lines of concern had formed in the outer corners. I wanted to believe him. I needed to believe him. But the alarm bells that Tracy’s comment had set off in my head were so loud… and frankly, I wasn’t sure silencing them was the right thing to do.

  That night we sat on the couch and watched another movie with a few other members of the Unseen. Mitchell was there too, along with two others I hadn’t gotten to know yet.

  I tried to focus on the movie and watch as Tom Cruise tried to save the world again, but I couldn’t.

  Owen’s right. Tracy was probably just being flippant. Another explosion lit the room up. When have you ever known Tracy to be flippant? Music blasted through the surround sound speakers as Tommy narrowly missed dying yet again. You don’t even know Tracy. You’ve spent five days with her. Just because she slipped up once and let you read her private thoughts means nothing. Everyone thinks dumb things when they think no one can hear them. Even you.

  “Especially you,” Owen whispered, and I threw a piece of popcorn at him.

  It didn’t mean anything. Stop focusing on a five-second comment and concentrate on your successes this week. You should be celebrating, not freaking out. But Owen had reacted strangely when I’d told him about Tracy’s comment. What did he mean when he said he didn’t have the right to tell me what she meant?

  A girl in front interrupted my train of thought. “Quiet, Mac. I’m trying to watch this gorgeous hunk of man save humanity.”

  I snuggled in further to Owen’s body and tried to watch the movie, but I couldn’t concentrate. My fingers twitched.

  “I’m gonna go home,” I whispered.

  Owen looked startled. “What? Why?”

  “I need music. I can’t relax.”

  He smiled. “Why don’t you come with me?”

  Taking my hand, he led me to the library. No one was in there but us and, off to the side, where there used to be a couch, I spied an upright Steinway. It was a beautiful piece. I went to it instinctually and ran my hand along the top, feeling like I was one with the smooth surface. Owen stood back and watched.

  When I sat at the bench, I noticed Gaspard de la Nuit ready to go on the music stand. I smiled as I stroked the bright white keys. This was the first time I’d ever sat at a brand-new piano.

  What was the meaning of this? Were they trying to buy me? Show me what I could have if I cooperated?

  Owen ignored my thoughts, effectively keeping me in the dark on why the Unseen had essentially bought me an expensive piano. Instead, he asked, “Well, are you going to play?”

  “But, this is the library. Won’t people be disturbed?”

  “We voted, and the group decided the reading experience could only
be enhanced by some music. The one or two dissenters said they wouldn’t mind going to their rooms if they were truly bothered.”

  My fingers itched to play as my feet found their way to the pedals. Owen took a seat at the bench next to me. He looked at the music, then back at me, urging me to play.

  I wanted to so bad, but I wasn’t sure I could accept something like this. What would it mean if I did? What would it mean if I didn’t? The questions piled on top of questions were enough, and Gaspard flowed from my hands, my fingers dancing along the keys. Music once again filled my mind, as well as the small room where we were sitting.

  I wasn’t sure how long I played with Owen sitting there next to me, but the exhaustion I felt when I finally stopped indicated it had been a while.

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to play for that long. I hope I didn’t disturb anyone.” I wasn’t used to playing somewhere that public. Normally, I played in practice rooms or my own apartment, but there were plenty of people around the Unseen’s facility. Embarrassment threatened.

  The look on Owen’s face was one of total enchantment. I wasn’t sure if it was directed at me, or the music.

  He smiled and put his hand on my knee. “I think everyone really enjoyed it. I know I did.”

  I relaxed a little. Hopefully, they would still feel that way in a few weeks, after listening to me play incessantly.

  Owen chuckled. “If nothing else, it silenced your constant musings for a bit. I think people were relieved.”

  I shoved him off the bench. “I should go home.”

  Owen got up to walk me to my car. He stopped me before I could get in. “Hey, I was wondering if you might want to get together this weekend.”

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “Well, I left you alone last weekend and that was a colossal mistake on my part. This time, I thought I might take a different approach.”

  “Smart.”

  He shifted his weight. “So, interested?”

  “Like a date?”

  “Yeah, like a date.”

  I hesitated. Actual dating had always gone poorly for me. I’d never gotten past the first date with anyone, and I’d had my fair share of them. The last thing I wanted to do was wreck this growing connection I had with Owen.