The Incorporated Knight

by L. Sprague De Camp

  "That decided, sir," said Eudoric, "what's to do? I'm not more timorous than most; but I'm not fain to gallop up to Castle Hessel, ring my lance against his portal, and dare Rainmar to come forth and fight it out."

  "Aye, certes, thou hast right," puffed Sir Dambert. "By the God and the Goddess, he'd hang thee instanter, heedless of the punctilios of chivalry. Time was when we'd saddle up, to raid and waste his robbers' hold in vengeance—"

  "But no more," interrupted the baron, "now that the crown hath gathered so much power unto itself. Even Rainmar dare not openly raid his neighbors, as was his former wont. So, to sweeten's pudding, he doth these fribbling banditries."

  "Well," said Eudoric, "couldn't you gentlemen lend me men-at-arms to escort my coach, where the road passes nigh unto Rainmar's domain? There were ten or twelve in his gang; so a dozen sturdy guards should suffice and a score be a plenty."

  Baron Emmerhard shook his head. "The King hath called upon me for a draft of men, to help the Emperor quell the rebels in Aviona. Praise the Divine pair, he commanded not mine aging self to take the field in person. And the rest of my menfolk I shall need for the haying."

  "The men of Aviona must be daft, to fight at the height of the harvest," observed Sir Dambert.

  "Nay," said Emmerhard, "they live farther north and so have already finished their field work."

  "How about you, Father?" asked Eudoric.

  Sir Dambert shook his head. "Aye, certes, would that I could help thee; but 'tis the same with me. I lack enough men to guard the castle as 'tis. I dare not strip it of all protection, lest Rainmar essay a sudden descent in spite of royal bans. Moreover and besides, Rainmar hath a plenty of men, the which he feeds on the usufruct of's robberies. An we put on ten guards, he'll come at thee with a score; an we put on twenty, he'll summon up two score, eh?"

  "A fine basket of grapes," snorted Eudoric, "when a harmless, law-abiding gentleman can't make an honest living. Let me think ... I recall the saying of the soldier of fortune, Karal of Gintz: 'If thou canst not vanquish them, unite them with thyself.' "

  Gruffly, Dambert laughed. "Tell me not, son, that thou think of turning reaver likewise!"

  "Nay, nay. Methought a call upon the lord of Hessel and a friendly discussion might yield results. At least, it's better than driving the coach to Kromnitch empty of passengers, they being daunted by fear of another ambuscado."

  Emmerhard said: "Have a care that he clap thee not up in's dungeon for ransom."

  "Has he not a daughter?" asked Eudoric. "Me-seems I have heard of such an one."

  "Aye," said Emmerhard. "A truly nubile daughter, whom Rainmar would dearly love to marry off. Trouble is, none of his noble neighbors will countenance a union with this caitiff rascal. So Rainmar faces the choice of, imprimis, leaving poor Maragda an unwed spinster; secundus, of wedding her to one of his scurvy knaves of low degree; or tertius, of reforming his evil ways."

  "Well, sir," said Eudoric to the baron, "since your own lovely daughter jaculated me forth, I have been casting about."

  "Eudoric!" cried Sir Dambert. "Thou shalt not marry into that clan of banditti! I forbid it!"

  "Easy, Father. I have no intention of wedding the lass, at least so long as Rainmar pursue his larcenous course. But think: if Rainmar accept me as a suitor, he'd be less fain to rob his prospective son-in-law's coach, would he not? With a call at Castle Hessel from time to time, we should be able to keep the pot on the boil until the Emperor settle his score with Aviona and our men-at-arms come home. Then we can do as we list."

  Dambert gloomily shook his head. "Oh, thou art clever, son; cleverer than becomes a knight, forsooth. Thine estate of knighthood entails obligations—"

  "Chide not the lad," said Baron Emmerhard. "In these degenerate days, when a stroke of the pen oft outweighs a slash of the sword, we need all the wit we can muster."

  -

  Days later, Baron Rainmar of Hessel, a huge, red-bearded, broken-nosed man, stared suspiciously at his caller. Behind him, men-at-arms handled pikes and fingered crossbows.

  "State thy business," he barked.

  Eudoric allowed a smile to cross his normally serious face. Although a little shaken by the row of Rainmar's victims—hanged, impaled, or beheaded— beside the front gate, he hid his feelings. He said:

  " 'Tis merely a friendly visit, my lord; my first to your hold. I must avow my admiration for its strength."

  "It serves as a shield 'twixt me and mine envious neighbors—but is this all thou came for? I can scarce believe—"

  Trying to look like a bashful lover, Eudoric said: "Truth to tell, I have heard of your daughter, whose beauty, they say, outshines that of the Goddess herself. Being unwed, methought a closer look might lead to better things."

  Rainmar grunted. "Well, sit down, sit down. Ye may go," he told his cutthroats. "Witkin! Tell the Lady Maragda that her presence is desired. Now then, Sir Eudoric, I've heard some tales of thee: that thou have adventured in distant lands; that thou be hand in glove with mine old enemy Emmerhard; and that, despite thy gilded spurs, thou seek to gain wealth by a base, unknightly enterprise; to wit, running a carriage-wagon from Zurgau to Kromnitch. What sayest thou? Katilda! Wine!"

  "As to the first point," said Eudoric, "it's true that I've journeyed to Pathenia. 'Twas there I learnt of this system of carrying men and goods from hence to thither, at regular intervals, for an established fare. For the second, Baron Emmerhard is my partner in the business. Who his friends and foes be amongst the nobility is no concern of mine. And for the third, I hold that no trade founded on horses can be construed as base. Didn't the word 'knight' once mean simply 'one who rides a horse'?"

  "A doctor of law or theology art thou in spirit," growled Rainmar, "for all thy purported knighthood. Ah, Maragda, my dear! Here's a neighbor's scion, hight Sir Eudoric Dambertson, come to make our acquaintance."

  The tall, red-haired young woman curtseyed as Eudoric rose and bowed. When she was seated, the conversation wandered off into weather, crops, the latest plague, an outbreak of witchcraft, and imperial politics. In parting, Eudoric received a guarded invitation to call again.

  When at last he cantered away on Daisy, Eudoric drew a long breath. At least, the robber lord had neither hanged him nor held him for ransom.

  As autumn advanced and nights grew cold, Eudoric found himself calling more and more often at Castle Hessel. As he had predicted, the attacks on his coach had ceased. Moreover, he had come to like Rainmar's daughter Maragda. He was not, Eudoric sternly told himself, authentically in love. He had been through that delightful and perilous state before, but the outcome had never been happy. Now he viewed such matters in a colder, more critical light. Calculation and expediency counted at least as much as the fleshly urges of a normal man in his twenties.

  He noted, for instance, that Maragda's generous build and exuberant health predicted healthy offspring. If, he thought, he could but find some means to persuade or coerce Baron Rainmar into giving up his career of rapine ...

  On Eudoric's sixth call, however, Rainmar said bluntly: "A word, Sir Eudoric, ere I allow thee a sight of my chick. What are thine intentions towards her?"

  "I had thought," said Eudoric carefully, "that, if she be willing, I should—as soon as mine own affairs render me able and worthy—enter a formal suit for her hand."

  "Methought as much," growled Rainmar. "Thou hast things in thy favor, for all that thou art connected with the sniveling Emmerhard. But thou hast also some in disfavor, which must needs be settled."

  Eudoric raised his eyebrows. "To which of my many faults do you refer, my lord?"

  "This new knighthood, for ensample. I'm told 'twas not for any knightly deed, but for base monetary return—that thou didst, in fine, bribe Emmerhard with the offer of a partnership."

  "No bribe, my lord. The two were quite distinct. I had the knowledge to launch our enterprise; Emmerhard, the gold. So we pooled the twain. For the other, I had done a deed of dought in slaying a dragon in Pathenia; althou
gh, because of distance, I could not trot out witnesses to the act. Ask the learned Doctor Baldonius whether the two square yards of hide I fetched him from the East be not the integument of an authentic dragon." Eudoric refrained from mentioning that, first, Jillo Godmarson had actually killed the beast; and second, Eudoric had promptly been thrown in jail for breach of the Pathenian game laws.

  "That may be." Rainmar ran thick fingers through his beard, in which a few threads of silver appeared amid the copper. "But I'm not quite satisfied. Dost thou adhere strictly to the code of knighthood: to be loyal to thy suzerain, protect the female kind, and so forth?"

  "To the best of mine ability," said Eudoric. "Hm. Well, now, I have a task for thee, which will test thy mettle. Accomplish it, and Maragda shall be thine. Knowest thou the deadly wood of Dimshaw, in the farthest reaches of my demesne?"

  "Who does not?"

  "Hast heard of the great spider, whom we call Fraka, that haunts it?"

  "Yea, and how she has slain the men who blundered into her web. What—?" With sinking heart, Eudoric realized what was coming next.

  "In fine," said Rainmar, "thy task is to slay this monster."

  Eudoric gulped, acutely aware of the obligation of knighthood to show no fear, no matter how one felt. "Why don't you simply burn that part of Dimshaw where Fraka dwells?"

  "That were to waste good timber, which I mean to cut to sell to the Emperor's shipwrights. Besides, in a dry spell such as we now undergo, such a fire might get out of hand and devastate the barony. Nay, this is a task for one fearless hero—to wit, thyself."

  "How shall I do this deed, sir?" said Eudoric, feeling anything but fearless.

  "That's thine affair. Thou shalt, howsomever, do it in true knightly fashion. No magical sleights or base commercial tricks! I demand a proper stand-up fight, in accord with the ethic of chivalry. Mine own past may not have been utterly sinless," (which Eudoric thought the understatement of the century) "but my lass shall wed none but the purest and most unsullied gentleman of the realm."

  -

  Eudoric hastened to the forest dwelling of Doctor Baldonius, who got out his huge, iron-bound encyclopedia and turned the pages of crackling parchment.

  "Here we be," he said. " 'Arachnida ... The class is remarkable for the variety of its methods of copulation and fertilization. Among the Scorpiones, copulation takes place front to front by apposition of the genital orifices of the two sexes, located forward on the underside of the cephalothorax. In the Opiniones ...' Let's omit those. In most of the Araneae, the terminal segments of the palpi of the male are modified into intromittent organs—' "

  "Very interesting," said Eudoric, "but I would fain kill this creature, not make love to it."

  "I shall come to that," said Baldonius. " 'The females of most species of spiders readily seize and eat the smaller specimens of their kind. To avoid being thus devoured, spiders male have instinctive patterns of behavior to inhibit the cannibalistic tendencies of the females, at least until after copulation. Some perform courtship dances, displaying colored tufts on one pair of appendages.

  "Forsooth, must I dance a fandango before Fraka, whilst waving a feather duster at her?"

  "Nay. Be patient but a little longer. 'Among the web-spinning spiders, recognition is effected by jerks on the female's web, according to a code specific to the species.'

  "Now let me think. Meseems I recall a little treatise on the codes of jerks of different arachnids, by Doctor Bobras, mine old fellow student at Saalingen. Ah, here it is!"

  Baldonius pulled a scroll from a cabinet of pigeonholes, which held a score of books in this antiquated format. He unrolled it and scanned. "Here we be. 'Among the Gigantaraneae, the code is one long pull, two short jerks, one long pull, and two short jerks, followed by a pause before repeating.' "

  "You mean," said Eudoric, "a kind of dum-deedee-dum-deedee rhythm?"

  "Exactly; in poetical terms, a double dactyl, if mine ancient colleague be correct. If threatened by Fraka, ye may be able to halt her advance by jerking her web in that manner."

  "Even though I look not at all like a male spider?

  At least, the code is not something complicated, which one might forget in the stress of the moment. But suppose I get a leg caught in the sticky web? From what I hear, it's the devil's own task to cut oneself loose."

  "The cure for that, my boy, is fire. These webs quickly yield to flame."

  "But if I must needs strike sparks into tinder with my igniter, whilst the Lady Fraka advances upon me—"

  "Carry a lanthorn, with spare candles. If caught, lift the lid and apply the candle flame to the web. Fear not this great bug; omne ignotum pro magnifico est."

  "If a sudden gust blow out my flame, I shall be in no very rosy predicament," Eudoric mused. "What puzzles me is, how these creatures make a living. One can see how an insect, having but little wit, can blunder into a spider's web. But one would think that beings of a higher order, such as birds, hares, and swine, would speedily learn to avoid entangling strands."

  Baldonius shrugged. "This I know not; but Bobras says that a spider can live for many months without aliment."

  "And how is the race of these vermin propagated? Fraka is the only spider of her kind in the circumjacent demesnes. Albeit long-lived, she'll not live forever, even if I fail to terminate her existence. Whence would come her normal mate?"

  "Methinks from the wilderness of Bricken, west of Rainmar's dominions. There, they say, dwell many uncanny creatures, which have vanished from more cultivated lands. Whether Fraka migrated thence to Dimshaw, or whether she already dwelt in Dimshaw when the intervening lands were cleared for farming, I know not."

  "Has she ever been seen outside of Dimshaw?"

  "I think not. Once a spider of this family hath built its web, it strays not thence. If in your quest ye learn aught of the habits of the Gigantaraneae, be sure to let me know. I can get a small monograph out of it, saltem."

  "And," said Eudoric, "if I fail, be sure that I get a nice tombstone, in absentia."

  -

  Leaving Jillo to hold the horses, Eudoric plunged into Dimshaw on foot. He wore half armor and hip boots, with a crossbow slung across his back. The crossbow was of the simple stirrup type, cocked by putting one's foot in the stirrup and pulling back the string with both hands. It was more powerful than a longbow and also quicker to reload than a heavy steel siege crossbow, which required a winch or at least a cocking lever. While all of this gear made Eudoric slow and clumsy, he thought it would give him a better chance of escaping Fraka's fangs.

  In one hand he carried a boar spear and a small storm lantern. The lantern's flame was hardly visible in the low, autumnal sunshine, which slanted through the bare branches and gnarled trunks of ancient trees. In the other hand he bore his cutlasslike hunting falchion, with which from time to time he blazed a tree to insure the finding of his homeward way. This forethought was typical of Eudoric's methodical habits.

  Eudoric spent the day in prowling Dimshaw without success. At nightfall, he and Jillo returned to the village of Hessel West.

  With the dawn, they were back in Dimshaw Wood. Eudoric had been plodding among massive oaken trunks for an hour when something caught his foot. He almost fell but saved himself by a thrust of the butt of the spear. He looked down but could see nothing. Nevertheless, his left boot was firmly fixed in place.

  He struck with his falchion. The blade encountered some yielding, springy substance, to which it stuck fast. Pulling and twisting failed to tear it loose.

  Eudoric thrust the point of his spear into the earth and set down the lantern. The falchion, which he had released, remained in mid-air, swaying gently. A rising breeze, which rustled the thick carpet of dead leaves, made the sword wobble more widely.

  When he looked closely, Eudoric made out faint silvery gleams in the air. If he moved his head, these gleams, he discovered, formed a continuous streak. This streak began at the roots of an ancient oak beside him and rose slantwise into the bra
nches above. The streak was tangent to the skin of his left boot and to the blade of the falchion.

  Now Eudoric realized something that he had not known: Fraka's web was almost invisible. In full sunlight, one could see faint reflections from its surfaces; in dim light, one could probably not see it at all.

  This explained how Fraka could make a living from the beasts and birds of Dimshaw. Be they never so clever, they could not avoid the strands of a web that they could not see. Hence the forest was large enough to furnish game for a single predator of Fraka's kind.

  Looking up along the strand of web on which he was caught and moving his head, Eudoric made out more shimmering gleams among the branches and saw that he was at the edge of a monstrous web, covering several acres. Then he saw something else.