Raw

by Simone Sowood

  “Dunno, maybe it’s the new moisturizer I bought.”

  She looks at me suspiciously but I ignore her and make my way to my room. I put my backpack in the cupboard and prepare the room for the day.

  There’s a tap at the door, and my mother pokes her head in.

  “Good morning, sweetie. How are you today?” she asks.

  I smile, my lips a tight line as I fight turning red.

  “Good, Mom. How are you?”

  “You know, same as always but today’s going to be a great day.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Because it’s my wedding anniversary, sweetie!”

  “Of course it is! This weekend is Memorial Day. I can’t believe it slipped my mind.” They have the easiest anniversary to remember because it’s always just before Memorial Day, and somehow I forgot. Because my mind is too full of Gabe.

  She laughs and says, “As long as your father doesn’t forget.”

  “There is no chance of that happening,” I say, knowing my father would never forget.

  “I’m going to make a special dinner this Saturday, I hope you can make it.”

  “Of course, Mom. There’s still no man in my life.”

  “You will meet a nice boy, don’t you worry. One who’s even better than Chet was. Maybe you can find yourself a nice surgeon.”

  I smile and nod, my lips an even tighter line than before. Of course she’d bring up Chet. And surgeon now? Before it was always simply a doctor.

  “I have to get ready for my first appointment,” I say holding up a blue file folder.

  “Talk to you later,” she says, and closes the door.

  I drape myself over the desk. What do I do? My body craves Gabe, but a relationship with him would be impossible. Maybe I should do like my mother says, and focus my energy on finding a nice guy who’s husband material. Before I even finish the thought, the feel of Gabe’s arms around me as he held me when I cried takes over.

  He was so concerned about me, and surprisingly caring. Chet never held me like that.

  And I made Gabe rush me home. My chest grows heavy with guilt. I pick up my phone and type out a text to him.

  Sorry for the way last night ended. I was overwhelmed.

  I hit send before I can second guess myself.

  My first patient arrives. It’s a man who snapped his Achilles tendon playing racquetball, and he just got the all-clear from his surgeon to start physiotherapy.

  He smells like cheese, and winces and whimpers far too much. The thirty-minute appointment can’t go fast enough.

  The second he’s out the door, I pick up my phone.

  Nothing.

  I don’t know what I expected. Perhaps I thought Gabe would send me a text saying how everything was okay, and that I wasn’t rude.

  I’m not sure why I care so much anyway. Maybe it’s cleaner if things end this way. Except it has only been thirty minutes. For all I know, he’s still in bed, asleep.

  I see two more patients, a painful hip impingement and a sore neck. I barely notice what the women look like, and don’t think I’ll recognize their faces when I see them again. My mind is stuck on Gabe.

  Before sore neck has even shut the door behind her, I pick up my phone. Still nothing from him. I type out a message.

  It would be nice to see you again.

  As soon as I hit send, I realize that’s open to interpretation. Though I’m not sure how I even interpret it. I quickly type out another text and send it before I drive myself crazy with overthinking everything.

  …for meaningless sex.

  Marcy hasn’t given me the files for the rest of my appointments. Sometimes she really annoys me. It’s funny how she perfectly organizes everyone else in this practice except me. I’m sure she does it on purpose. I don’t know what her problem is.

  I march into the reception area, determined to give her a piece of my mind.

  As I round the corner, I freeze. Gabe is sitting in the waiting area, holding his phone. His eyes flick between me and the screen, smirking.

  Naturally I turn the color of a fire engine.

  “Your next appointment has arrived,” Marcy says from behind her desk.

  I force myself to drag my eyes from Gabe, and look at her. She passes me the files, although she’s staring at Gabe.

  Narrowing my eyes, I say, “You need to give me the files in the morning.”

  “I wasn’t sure your ten o’clock was coming back today, since he was here yesterday.”

  “Oh, okay, I guess.”

  She mouths, “I think he came back to see me.”

  I ignore her, and turn to find Gabe. He’s already halfway down the hall to my room. I hurry after him.

  When I reach him, he winks, and says, “Got your text.”

  20.Gabe

  “What are you doing here?” Eloise hisses as she shuts the door. Her hair is tied back tighter than ever.

  “Nice to see you too.”

  “You were just here yesterday. You don’t need another appointment yet.”

  Ignoring her, I ask, “How are you doing after last night?”

  “I thought you said you got my text.”

  I close the distance between us and say, “You want meaningless sex.”

  She burns brighter than the sun. Fuck, I love turning her red. It pisses me off that she’s fighting against me, but I’m sure she’s mine.

  “Maybe,” she says, her voice quiet.

  Taking hold of the end of her ponytail, I wrap it around my hand, around and around until the elastic touches my skin. I tilt her head back. My eyes bore to hers, but she doesn’t look away nor does she push me away.

  Her tits rise and fall with her heavy breath.

  I grip her hair tightly, and crush my mouth against hers. Whimpering, she submits to my kiss. My dick hardens and strains against my jeans.

  Breaking the kiss, I put my lips to her ear and growl, “I’ll show you what meaningless sex feels like.”

  With my free hand, I run my hand over her hip and tickle her lips through her pants.

  “We can’t, I’m at work.”

  “So what? I have you for thirty minutes.” I clamp my mouth back on hers and grab her ass, grinding my hard cock against her.

  Her jaw relaxes, and our tongues reach the back of each other’s throats.

  She fights my grip on her hair, and turns her head to break the kiss.

  “Not here, the door doesn’t even lock.”

  “So fucking what? When has anyone ever interrupted one of your sessions?”

  “Never,” she says, and chews on her bottom lip.

  I move to the physio bed, gently pulling her with me by the ponytail wrapped around my hand. We stand at the narrow end of the bed, and I ram my hand between her pants and her skin.

  Even before they reach her entrance, my fingers are coated in wet. I let go of her ponytail, undo her pants and push them down.

  Eloise gasps as I spin her and bend her over the bed.

  “This is crazy,” she says, and I smack her lush ass.

  I push through her folds, and dip my fingers into her entrance. She’s drenched, but I pump them a few times anyway. I don’t know if she expects the same treatment I gave her over the pool table or not, but that’s not what she’s getting.

  After wiping my hand on my jeans, I take the condom from my back pocket. My dick has popped the button on my jeans, so I quickly unzip them, and shove them down.

  With my teeth, I tear open the package and roll the condom down my shaft.

  “Why am I letting you do this?” Eloise mutters, obviously speaking to herself and not me, but she makes no movement to get away from me and she grinds herself against my body.

  I ignore her, and drive my cock into her pussy. The feel of her walls wrapped tight around me sends a massive shudder up my back. Fuck, she feels good. Like my dick is where it belongs.

  But this is about showing her meaningless sex.

  Gripping her hips, I pound into her puss
y as hard and fast as I can. My movement shunts the bed across the floor. Before long the end is banging up against the wall, the window just above it.

  Eloise’s knuckles are white from holding the edges of the bed. I reach my hand around her hips, and I fumble for her clit.

  When I find it, I pinch it between my fingers, the way she likes so much. A moan erupts from deep within her. Her body starts wiggling, and I know she’s close, so I let go.

  I stand tall and look down, watching my shaft pound into her. The sight makes my balls draw tight against me. It’s impossible for me to fuck her in a meaningless way. I pause for a second, and look up. Eloise is biting her arm.

  My dick throbs, and I start moving again. Almost immediately, she lets out a cry, which is muffled by her arm, and her walls go crazy on my cock.

  It’s so easy for me to make her come.

  Tingles burst from my balls, and my dick explodes into the condom. I really want to feel her bare.

  “Oh my God!” a woman’s voice barks.

  Eloise and I turn our heads. The receptionist, Marcy, is standing at the door, her hands over her mouth.

  Covering my dick with my hand, I bolt to the door and try to push her out of it, but she steps deeper into the room. I shut the door.

  “Marcy, leave,” Eloise says, her voice quivering and her body still bent over the bed.

  I step between the two of them, to shield Eloise’s exposed ass from Marcy.

  “What are you doing in here?” Marcy asks.

  “I think you saw,” I say.

  “What are you doing in here? Please leave,” Eloise says.

  “I heard banging, I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  “She’s better than okay. Now why don’t you do what she asks, and leave,” I say, my eyes narrowed at Marcy.

  “Do you want me to leave, Eloise?” Marcy asks.

  “Yes, I want you to leave. Of course I want you to leave,” Eloise says.

  “Your parents are going to freak,” Marcy says.

  “Why? How will they know if you don’t tell them?” I say, my voice a growl.

  “Just get the hell out of here,” Eloise snaps.

  I use my body to herd Marcy to the door. She doesn’t resist, and when I open the door, she moves through it and I shut the door behind her.

  “I can’t believe that just happened,” Eloise says, standing and pulling up her pants. When they’re up, she leans against the bed. I bet she’s still coming.

  “Oh well, she’ll get over it,” I say, tying off the condom and dropping it in her trashcan.

  “As long as she doesn’t tell my parents. She’s going to hold this over my head forever. Why do I let you do these things to me? First in a bar, then in a public park? Now my work, which my parents own? Why?” her voice raises as she speaks.

  “Because I make you feel good, that’s why.”

  “No, that isn’t a good enough reason.”

  Pulling her away from the bed, I take her in my arms and kiss her tenderly. Her body tenses and relaxes under my touch.

  Eloise pulls her head away, and says, “What am I going to do if she tells my parents?”

  “It doesn’t matter. It’s not like they’re going to fire you.”

  “I know, but—”

  “But what?” I interrupt. “You don’t want them to know about me?”

  “No, I don’t want them to know I have casual sex in their medical practice while I’m supposed to be working.” Her face burns red.

  “Is that what this is now, casual? Is that better or worse than meaningless?”

  She shifts her eyes to the floor, contemplating the question.

  “I guess they’re the same thing,” she says, and sighs.

  Ice courses through my veins. She’s cold, and hasn’t realized the situation yet.

  “Right. I’m glad you enjoy the meaningless orgasms I give you, for the first time in your life. Let me know when you want another one.” Without waiting for response, I rush out of the room, slamming the door behind me.

  21.Eloise

  I watch helplessly as Gabe leaves my physio room. My heart is beating a million miles an hour.

  As I collapse into the desk chair, I glance at the clock. He was only here for fifteen minutes. At least I have another fifteen minutes to try to compose myself before my next patient arrives.

  My walls are still spasming. How was he able to do that to me so easily?

  Gabe walked in here and filled the room with his presence. There was nothing I could do to resist him.

  Being totally honest with myself, I didn’t want to resist him. I wanted him to take control of my body. Even before he touches me, my chest fills with butterflies, and my walls flood with want.

  “I can’t believe you,” Marcy says, as she bursts through the door.

  I throw back my head. I can’t deal with her right now. I’m trying to figure out what just happened with Gabe. Why did he leave like that?

  “I can’t do this now,” I say.

  “Well too bad. This needs to be discussed.”

  “You’re not my boss, Marcy.”

  “Who said anything about being your boss? I saw him first. He was mine.”

  I pause, trying to comprehend her words. She thinks she had a chance with him?

  “No, he wasn’t,” I say, my mind wandering back to being in his tattoo parlor chair.

  “Of course I did. He came to reception first, didn’t he? We flirted, and I know he wanted me. Besides, he’s not your type at all. You’re a goodie goodie.”

  Willing her away, I say, “I knew him before he came here. He only came here to see me.”

  Marcy closes her mouth and breathes heavily through her nose. I close my eyes and think of Gabe, and the ways he’s made me feel over the past day.

  “Do your parents know about him?” she snaps.

  “No,” I say on reflex, my mind still on Gabe.

  “I guess you owe me.”

  “What?”

  “For my silence.”

  “You mean you can’t just be a decent human being about this?”

  She shrugs, and backs out of the door.

  For the second time this morning, I drape myself over my desk. I get the feeling she’s not going to drop this. I should’ve known from the start that Gabe was a bad idea.

  But I had so much fun with him last night. I can’t deny that. And I don’t think I can deny myself my feelings for him any longer.

  The rest of the morning is painful. At least my patients are all straightforward, and I don’t have to think about what I’m doing. During lunch, I don’t bother eating and hide in my room, avoiding Marcy.

  And thinking about Gabe.

  All I can do is think about Gabe.

  At one o’clock sharp, there’s a light tap on my door, and without opening it, Marcy says, “Your next patient is here.”

  “Thanks. Can you send all my patients to my door when they get here?”

  At least that way, I won’t run into her or my parents in the hallway.

  “Sure, I’ll do you another favor today.”

  As if keeping her mouth shut is a favor.

  The afternoon is long and drawn out, but at least it gives me time to think.

  Gabe’s right, there’s nothing meaningless about the way he makes me feel. Part of me wants to send a text and tell him right away, but that doesn’t seem like enough.

  My last patient of the day is a man who sprained his wrist sliding into first base at his softball game. He’s well over six feet tall, and is just as wide. I decide to use him as a shield.

  When the session is finished, I grab my backpack and walk out with him. As we pass reception, I walk on the far side of him. I run ahead of him when we reach the entrance hall, and I manage to make it out of the building without Marcy seeing me.

  I fall into my car, grateful for not running into either of my parents.

  Pushing the button to start the car, I put it into gear and turn left out of the
parking lot. There’s a red light, and I stop. It turns green but the next light turns red, and I stop again. It happens three more times. I’m hitting every red light between the medical center and my apartment.

  When the light goes green, I swing the car in a massive U-turn and head to Gabe’s. I get all the way to the tattoo parlor without hitting a single red light.

  The same parking spot in front of the door is open, and I pull my car into it. My heart is racing faster than it was the first time I came here.

  Gabe doesn’t work Thursdays, but I don’t know where the entrance to his upstairs apartment is. I don’t even know if he’s home.

  I get out of the car, and half open the door to the tattoo parlor, intending to ask how to find him. But there are five or six big, burly, tattoo-covered guys standing by the counter, and I chicken out.

  My feet move fast, and carry me across the front of the building, and down along the side. It’s a solid brick wall, but I keep moving. When I reach the end of it, I skip sideways to avoid a puddle and turn the corner.

  Gabe’s truck is parked beside a motorcycle. A solid brown door is at the far corner of the building. A solid black door is beside it.

  There’s no sign or number to indicate what door might be what.

  I push the doorbell beside the brown door, but don’t hear anything.

  I push the doorbell beside the black door, but don’t hear anything.

  I try pounding on both of them.

  The brown door swings open, and my heart stops.

  Gabe fills the doorframe, wearing only his boxers. His legs are also covered in tattoos, something I couldn’t see in the dark last night. His nipple piercings shine in the bright sunlight.

  My breath is fast as I survey the man I want.

  “Come for more meaningless sex already?” he asks, his voice flat.

  Shaking my head, I say, “There’s nothing meaningless about it, we both felt it. I’m done fighting.”

  A closed-mouth smile springs across his face. He places his hand on my shoulder, and lightly runs his fingers down my arm. My skin prickles everywhere he touches me.

  When he reaches my hand, he grabs hold of it and pulls me into his apartment. I follow him down a narrow hallway and up a flight of stairs. He still hasn’t said anything else, and I’m filled with butterflies.