by Cara Albany
Sayid went around the table, pulled a chair to her side and sat down next to her. He took her hands in his. Her cold hands. She gazed at him impassively.
"Tell me this isn't what you want, Amber," he stated.
She turned her face away from him. He placed his fingertips beneath her chin and guided her face back to him. He could see moistness in her eyes. Sayid felt a fist tighten around his heart. He would not allow this to happen, he told himself.
"I thought it was, Sayid. Before I came here, everything seemed so simple. So straightforward." She frowned. "But now? I don't know, anymore."
His throat tightened, and he wanted to take her in his arms. But he restrained himself. He knew, instinctively, that this was a time for words. Honest words.
"Amber, you know how I feel about you." He leaned closer. "Habibti," he whispered.
Her eyes widened when she heard that word. "What does that mean?"
He smiled warmly. "Beloved," he said. "One of the most sacred words in my language."
Her mouth opened slightly. He wanted to lean in and claim her mouth, lavish a sweet kiss upon those lips. But, once again, he held himself back. It took every ounce of his strength to restrain himself.
"Do you mean that?" she asked softly.
He nodded. "And I meant what I said to you, last night."
He saw understanding flicker into her eyes. She remembered. And he remembered how she had repeated the words of love to him.
So why was she even thinking of leaving? It was inconceivable.
"You must stay with me, Amber," he declared.
"Why?"
He narrowed his eyes. "You know why. I told you. I love you. And I don't want to lose you. Not again."
She sighed and lowered her head. She looked suddenly thoughtful again. "How can that be? After all we've been through. After all this time," she said. Emotion filled her voice.
"I can say it because it's true," he declared. "You must believe me. I know we've been apart a long time. And it hasn't always been easy since you came back to me. But I believe we can be happy together." He leaned closer and inhaled the sweet scent of her perfume. It made his senses reel. "Truly happy," he added.
She gazed at him as if she could hardly believe what he'd just said to her. But still there was doubt in those beautiful, ice blue eyes. And so much emotion.
He could see how difficult all of this was for her. And it wasn't at all easy for him. But he felt that if he took one final step, made the ultimate gesture, then she might believe him. Then she might be convinced by his words and his actions.
Sayid prepared himself, straightening in the chair.
Amber noticed the change in him, and seemed to guess what he was about to say. How far he was willing to go.
A sudden panic flashed into her eyes. She twisted in her chair and faced him. "Sayid, don't," she snapped.
He froze and peered into her eyes. There was a steely resolve there which had been missing a few moments ago. Had she guessed what his intentions had been? And if so, was she so determined to reject him?
"Don't what?" he demanded.
She met his steady gaze. "I know what you were going to ask me. Please don't."
For a moment he didn't know whether to feel affronted or glad that she had predicted correctly what he had been about to ask her.
"Why should I not ask that question?" he asked.
She closed her eyes briefly. He saw her features tighten as if what she was thinking of gave her actual physical pain.
She turned her face to him. Now she was the one who looked as if she had made a decision. "Because you might not like what I say."
He straightened and drew in a sharp breath. "You would refuse me?"
She sighed heavily and stood. The chair scraped the marble floor. The noise sounded harsh in the cavernous dining room. Sayid stood and faced Amber. "I'm asking you, Amber. Would you refuse me?"
Amber stared at him for a long moment and then gasped, turning away from him. Before he knew what was happening, Amber was racing to the door. Sayid went after her. She made it to the front door of the palace before him.
"Amber!" he called out.
She halted at the top of the steps and turned to him. Sayid looked down at the small car which was parked at the foot of the steps. He saw Yasmina behind the wheel. The Qazhar woman's expression was as grim as Amber's.
"I have to go, Sayid," Amber said. Her voice cracked with emotion. She took a step toward him and, for a moment, hope rose in his heart. But she halted a few feet away from him. "I'm sorry, Sayid. I hope you understand."
Then, before he could respond, she turned and raced down the steps. He remained standing at the top of the steps, watching Amber as she got into the car.
And then, he heard the roar of the engine, and the car sped away toward the distant palace gates.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
"How did it go?" Yasmina asked as she gripped the steering wheel.
Amber shook her head. "What do you think?"
She saw Yasmina glance nervously at her. "That bad?"
Amber nodded. "Just about as bad as it could be."
"What did you tell him?" Yasmina asked.
Amber rested her chin against her hand and stared out the window. The desert seemed suddenly desolate. "I told him about the appointment. And that I was thinking of taking it."
"Was he disappointed?"
Amber nodded and scoffed. "I think that describes his reaction in a nutshell."
Amber peered at Yasmina and saw the young woman's stern features. Yasmina was obviously in no mood for laughing.
The young Qazhar woman had kindly offered to drive Amber out to the sheikh's palace, this morning. Amber had told Yasmina that she had to inform the sheikh that there would be no more visits. And that, if he wanted to know what was going with the project, then he would have to consult with Monica. There had been no mention of anything personal between Amber and Sayid. Amber had made sure of that.
But, Amber still had the nagging suspicion that Yasmina knew more than she was willing to reveal when it came to the issue of Amber's relationship with Sayid. Amber had seen the way Yasmina had looked at her and Sayid the day before when they had both spent time together in the camp. And, when Yasmina had spoke with Amber this morning, Yasmina had asked questions about last night and where Amber had been.
To her consternation, Yasmina had expressed concern about Amber's possible departure. Yasmina had shown no delight whatsoever at Amber being offered a new position. Amber reflected that perhaps Yasmina was just disappointed to lose a new friend.
"He didn't try to persuade you to stay?" Yasmina asked.
"He did," Amber replied. "Kind of."
Amber thought about that for a moment before continuing. Had he tried to change her mind? Of course he had, she admitted to herself. He'd been on the verge of saying something to Amber that would have changed everything.
But she had stopped him, and she was already feeling regret that she had done that. Sayid had looked so sincere. As genuine as he'd looked last night when he'd whispered those words to her.
And when he'd used his own language to express to her just what she meant to him, she had had to contain her emotion.
Habibti.
The word had sounded so sweet on his lips, she told herself. And even more beautiful once he'd told her what it meant.
Was that what she meant to him? Someone that special to him, so unique, that he would use such a term of endearment?
That single word had made her feel something that simply terrified her. That had been why she had stopped him from asking her the most important question anyone would ever ask her. She had drawn away from him for a few moments. And he had taken it badly.
She drew in a deep breath and told herself she'd made the right decision. It wouldn't have done any good to show Sayid how she had been feeling at that moment. If she'd done that, there was no way of knowing where it would all have ended. Probably in tears, she reflected. For
both of them.
They drove in silence for the remainder of the journey. Yasmina was unusually thoughtful, Amber reflected. She wondered what was going through the young woman's mind.
When they reached the camp, Amber and Yasmina made their way back to their shared accommodation.
Amber flopped down on her bed. Yasmina sat at the end of the bed. Amber glanced at Yasmina and saw a pensive look on her face. "What's on your mind, Yasmina?" Amber asked.
Yasmina shrugged. "Nothing, really."
Amber sat up. "You look worried. Was it something I said?"
Yasmina smiled and touched Amber on the shoulder. "Of course not." She paused a moment. "I was just thinking that Sayid must be disappointed you might be leaving."
"Might be?" Amber repeated.
Yasmina smiled at Amber. "You haven't really decided yet, have you?"
Amber nodded. "I have."
Yasmina's features creased with concern. "But, think of everything that still needs to be done here," she said. "There's still so much work we have to do."
"Monica told me that you'll all cope without me," Amber said and smiled reassuringly. "I don't if that's really a compliment." She rolled her eyes. "Or, maybe I haven't been as indispensable as I thought."
Yasmina didn't even respond to Amber's pathetic attempt at humor. Amber had to admit it had been a feeble joke. But, Yasmina looked so upset. She wondered what was driving Yasmina into such a worried state.
Amber laid a hand on Yasmina's arm. "I'm really grateful for what you've done, Yasmina," she said. "You know that, don't you."
Yasmina's eyes widened. "What I've done?"
"Yes. You helped me settle in. You even brought me here," Amber said.
Yasmina's eyes widened and her face went suddenly pale. "What do you know about that?" Yasmina asked sharply.
"About what?"
"Me bringing you here," Yasmina said.
Amber frowned. "I was talking about when you picked me up at the airport and drove me to Meriyah." Amber squinted at Yasmina, puzzled by her reaction. "What did you think I meant?"
Yasmina stiffened. "Nothing." Yasmina seemed temporarily relieved. "I just misunderstood what you meant. English isn't my first language."
Amber peered at Yasmina. There was definitely something on Yasmina's mind, Amber told herself. There had been something really defensive about the way she had reacted.
The entrance to the tent opened and Monica entered. Amber and Yasmina both stood. Monica smiled at Amber and Yasmina. "I saw you both arriving. Did you visit Sheikh Sayid this morning?"
"I did," Amber said.
Monica's eyes narrowed. "Why?"
"I though I should let him know personally about my decision. And that he shouldn't look forward to any more personal visits from me," Amber said.
The moments the words were out of her mouth, Amber realized they could be read in a different way from her intention.
Monica's brows arched. "I thought they were only a professional courtesy," she said.
Amber felt her face turn red and she was sure that both Yasmina and Monica had noticed. "That's not what I meant," she explained. Now it was her turn to backpedal. From the expression on both of the women's faces, she could tell neither of them were convinced. "Of course they were just professional calls," she said. "That's what we agreed, right?"
Monica and Yasmina exchanged looks. Amber hoped neither woman would press her for more information on just how personal her visit to the sheikh's palace had been. She knew the details would shock them. And, even worse, they might open Amber up to accusations of unprofessional conduct.
"Have you decided what you're going to do about the new placement, Amber?" Monica asked.
Amber glanced at Yasmina. "I was just telling Yasmina. It hasn't been easy making this decision," Amber said. She ran a hand through her hair, feeling the dampness in it caused by the early morning heat.
"And?" Monica asked.
"I told the sheikh what I'll tell you both. I'm taking the position," Amber announced.
There was a long silence in the tent. At first Amber wasn't sure how Monica was going to react to the news. After a few moments, Monica finally sighed. "I thought you would take it," she said. She peered appreciatively at Amber. "I hope you'll be happy, Amber."
Amber glanced at Yasmina and saw an expression of complete shock on the young woman's face. Not only that, but Yasmina's color had become visibly paler. It looked like all the blood had been drained out of her face.
"Yasmina?" Amber asked.
Yasmina quickly composed herself and hugged Amber. "I'm happy for you," she said. "Even though you know I'll miss you when you leave." Yasmina glanced at Monica. "Isn't that right Monica?" Yasmina asked.
Monica nodded slowly and peered at Amber. "I think there'll be more than just us who'll miss you when you're gone."
Amber knew Monica was referring to Sayid. She ignored the comment, knowing that anything she said would only get her into deeper water.
"When are you leaving?" Yasmina asked Amber.
Amber glanced at Monica seeking an answer. Monica shrugged. "I looked into the details. In case you decided to accept," Monica said. "I can make arrangements for you to be taken back to Qazhar city tomorrow. And then you can take a flight out in the afternoon."
"So soon?" Yasmina exclaimed. She peered at Amber, genuine surprise on her face.
Amber smiled. "Looks like you get to take me away, Yasmina."
Yasmina frowned and looked sad.
All three women chatted a while longer. It was obvious to Amber that Yasmina had been more affected by her announcement than Monica. Maybe, later in the day, she might get a chance to find out why that was, Amber told herself.
Then Yasmina and Monica left and Amber agreed to join them in the compound for one final day's work.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
It was late in the afternoon when he arrived.
Amber had just completed one of her last tasks of the day and was about to enter her accommodation tent, when she saw Sayid arrive. He sat atop his stallion and he was dressed in flowing white robe.
He drew the stallion to a halt and leaped down off the horse. Sayid threw the hood of his robe away from his face, revealing his dark hair and the true expression on his features. She could tell he was concerned. More than that. There was a fervent look on his face.
Amber felt butterflies tumbling in her middle. This wasn't going to be an easy conversation, she told herself.
Advancing toward her, he looked exactly like she would always remember him, she told herself. Like an undeniably handsome and exotic masculine force which had emerged, dreamlike, out of the desert.
Sayid came toward Amber. For the moment, she was transfixed by his appearance, by the obvious determination in his every movement. She'd never seen him look like this before.
He seized her gently by the arms. She was taken aback by the suddenness of the gesture. By the sheer forcefulness of his touch.
"Sayid!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"
He gazed into her eyes. There was a feverish quality to that look. It triggered instant sensation in her middle. "Is it true?"
She squinted at him. "Is what true?"
"That you are leaving tomorrow?"
Amber narrowed her eyes. "How do you know about that?"
He sighed impatiently. "When you told me you might be leaving, you didn't mention how soon that could be."
Amber wondered how Sayid had found out about her imminent departure. Hadn't that information been shared only between Yasmina, Monica and herself? For the moment, she ignored that question.
"What difference does it make?" she asked.
"It affects everything," he gasped. His eyes widened and his nostrils flared. "I thought you might remain here for at least a week or two. But, it seems I was wrong."
"Who told you this?" Amber asked.
He shook his head. "That doesn't matter," he snapped. "All I want to know is, are you leaving tomor
row?"
Amber felt her heart sink. She nodded slowly. "It's true," she admitted in a quiet voice.
One or two people were looking at them from the other side of the compound. Any moment now, questions might be asked about why the sheikh was holding onto Amber. And those were questions she knew she'd rather not face.
Amber turned to the tent entrance. "We can talk in there," she said sharply. She moved a step away from him, releasing herself from his grasp.
Sayid's eyes narrowed. His gaze flickered toward some of the figures who were looking at himself and Amber. There was still a powerfully impatient expression on his features. But she saw it soften slightly as he realized they were being observed. "Fine," was all he said.
Amber went quickly into the tent, followed by Sayid. Amber ushered Sayid to her makeshift room and pulled the flap closed on the alcove. For the moment, they had complete privacy. And they were safe from prying eyes.
Sayid gazed around the alcove. She saw him glance casually at her bed. "This has been where you sleep?" he asked incredulously.
Amber shrugged. "I know it's basic," she replied. "But, it served its purpose."
He peered at her. "You're leaving tomorrow," he stated sharply. It wasn't a question, more like an emphatic declaration. Did he already accept that she was going away? Then why had he even come here?
Amber wrapped her arms around herself. "It's all been arranged."
"But so soon!" he snapped. His eyes widened and gaze was disbelieving.
"I told you at the palace."
He took a step toward her, but she held her ground. She looked up at him. He seemed suddenly taller than she'd previously realized. "When did you know about this?."
"Monica told me." She knew it wasn't the answer he wanted, but she really didn't want to go into details. Not now that everything had been arranged.
He drew in a deep breath. "So you knew about this when we went out together," he accused. He gazed at her, obvious emotion in his eyes. "When we were in the desert," he added quietly.
"No!" she exclaimed. "I had no idea."
