Maybe This Christmas

by Jennifer Snow

  They nodded. He poured.

  “At least four weeks,” Emma corrected from her spot next to Dr. GPA.

  “Two to three,” he repeated to the boys. “Your aunt is a wonderful therapist. She’s whipping me back into shape.” As soon as the words escaped him, he wished he could pull them back.

  Dr. High IQ looked impressed, and Jess sent him a smile that said, Perfect lead-in, thank you.

  Damn.

  “That’s right, Emma is a fantastic therapist. And I agree with Asher. In two to three weeks he will be good as new and on a plane right back to where he belongs…ahem…lives,” Jess said, biting into a broccoli spear.

  If Dr. Textbook observed the tension between them, he ignored it as he turned to Emma. “So, tell me about the kinds of injuries you’re treating here in Glenwood Falls.”

  She took a sip of the ninety-six-not-ninety-seven wine and looked slightly uncomfortable as she answered. “Well, anything from shoulder dislocations to knee injuries like Ash’s. I work with all ages, as the office here is small, only one part-time and two full-time therapists on staff.”

  “So you have your certification to work with children?”

  She nodded.

  “That’s wonderful. Already ahead of the game.” He cut into a thick piece of honey-glazed ham, and Asher’s mouth watered. He reached for the spoon and dished the casserole onto his plate.

  “What specialization were you thinking of pursuing?” Dr. Smartypants asked Emma.

  “Sports injury I think would be most interesting. As a former athlete, I can understand that world a little better.”

  He nodded. “Yes. You had an impressive sports career of your own. I Googled you,” he said.

  Emma blushed. “Thank you.”

  “That was another lifetime ago,” Jess said.

  Asher shoveled a forkful of lasagna into his mouth and resisted the urge to gag. What the hell was this anyway?

  “Sean’s area of expertise is sports injuries as well, isn’t that right?” Jess said.

  The youngest-looking professor on the planet nodded, taking a second to swallow his food before saying, “Yes. You would be working directly with me should you choose to join our program.”

  “Of course she will,” Jess said.

  Emma shot her a look.

  “Sorry, I’ll stop talking for you,” Jess said, not sounding the least bit sorry.

  Asher couldn’t decide if Jess’s intent was to secure for Emma a place in the school or a place in this guy’s bed. And he hated that it seemed Emma wasn’t fighting against either one. In fact, as she asked Dr. Diploma questions about the program and the course load, she became more relaxed and confident, and within minutes, she seemed to have completely forgotten he was there.

  The head of the department seemed more and more impressed, the more she talked.

  And Asher felt more and more ill.

  “It sounds like you’re perfect for the program. We’ve offered you early enrollment. I think you and I could work well together, and you seem interested in pursuing the opportunity, so what’s holding you back?” he asked, setting his fork aside and leaning on his elbows on the table.

  Jess and Trey sat quietly, waiting for Emma’s response.

  Her gaze met Asher’s, and he silently asked the same question. He hoped it was the fact that she hadn’t completely walked away from her snowboarding career just yet. That some part of her still wanted that life. That this four-year break was just that, and she didn’t want the everyday normal life that small town Glenwood Falls would have to offer. He almost needed that to be true. Otherwise, it meant he wasn’t as clued in about his best friend as the other people sitting around the table, and that made his chest tighten.

  While they’d never officially had the conversation, he’d assumed they were on the same page—sporting careers as long as they could ride it out, and then a future…together. But if hers was really over already, could she wait for him?

  The look in her eyes didn’t give him any comfort. His mouth went dry, and he took a sip of the orange juice, but the liquid felt stuck in his throat.

  “I’m just not sure the timing will work,” she said finally, her gaze still locked on his.

  Timing? Because she was helping him recover? She was putting this opportunity on hold, not because she wasn’t sure she wanted it, but because she was committed to helping him heal?

  And yet he wasn’t entirely sure he could put her first above his own career…not yet at least.

  He broke the hold on their gazes and could sense her disappointment from across the dining room as she said, “But don’t worry, Sean. This program is what I want.”

  Shit.

  * * *

  Neither of them spoke as Emma climbed behind the wheel later that evening, and the unusual tension between them in the car was unbearable, forcing her to roll down her window for a little air, despite the freezing temperatures.

  She was suffocating on unsaid words and conflicting emotions.

  Meeting Sean had been unexpected, but she couldn’t deny that he’d definitely intrigued her more with his information about the program. But the entire evening, doubt had dampened her enthusiasm. Doubt over whether the early admission date was something she could pull off. Asher’s recovery was her main priority right now. She wouldn’t leave him while he still needed her.

  Though he was healing faster than expected.

  Pulling out of the driveway, she waited for Asher to speak first, to call her out on the Jess thing or to ask why she hadn’t told him about the PhD program, but he was excruciatingly silent as he stared through the front window at the quickly accumulating snow.

  A long silence fell between them as she drove out of the cul-de-sac. The sound of the windshield wipers swishing back and forth grew louder as the only noise.

  Her hands tightened on the steering wheel and she cleared her throat. She had to say something.

  “I’m sorry about the kids’ table.” Seemed the easiest place to start. “Jess is…Jess.”

  Asher nodded.

  He was obviously pissed. “And I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you about the program at the University of Florida. I just knew you’d have a very definite opinion, and honestly, I didn’t want to hear it.” The truth came out in a rush.

  “Pull over,” he said.

  She glanced at him but he stared straight ahead. “What?”

  “Pull the car over.” He pointed to the side of the street and undid his seat belt as she slowed the vehicle.

  Where was he going? Was he that upset that he was walking home? He couldn’t walk that far in this weather on his leg. “Ash, don’t.”

  But instead of getting out, he turned in the seat and reached for her.

  She went willingly into his arms, breathing in the scent of his soft cologne, enjoying the feel of his arms around her as she released a sigh of relief. The evening had been awkward and tense and a little overwhelming with the feeling that she was on an impromptu interview she hadn’t prepared for—all in front of the man she loved. Right now she just wanted to sink into him and stay there. Avoid making any big decisions. Avoid any arguments. Just be there. In his arms. The only place she ever truly felt like herself. “I would have told you.” At least about the school. That part would have been easy in comparison to the other secret she was hiding.

  There was so much more she needed to say. So much he should know.

  He pulled back slightly and tucked her hair behind her ears. He cleared his throat, and his blue eyes looked troubled, like he was struggling with something. The only thing she’d ever seen Asher look conflicted about was hockey. And this new, serious, pensive expression that she knew had nothing to do with his career made her hold her breath as she waited.

  And waited.

  And waited.

  He continued to shift his gaze from one of her eyes to the other, and his palms felt slightly damp against her cheeks.

  “Ash?” she said finally when the sound of the
wipers once again started echoing in her brain. He needed to say something. Anything.

  He took a breath. “Okay, the thing is, I don’t do relationships well.”

  Or at all, really. She nodded slowly. Where was he going with this? And did she want to know? Her own hands felt clammy as she stared at him, trying to read his mind.

  “The only thing I’ve ever really placed any importance on was hockey.”

  Again, not breaking-news information.

  “That is, besides you.”

  Her mouth gaped. She hadn’t exactly expected that. Not even close. His words were slow to register, but her heart pounded in her chest.

  “You are the only other thing in my life I need.”

  Mind. Blown. All coherent thoughts vanished.

  “I mean, not need…just want…a lot…Okay, maybe need. I’m not sure. I’ve never had to test that theory.” He frowned, looking frustrated by the emotions he was revealing.

  “Where are you going with this, Ash?” Her chest was about to explode if he didn’t get to the point soon.

  “What I’m saying is, I don’t want to test that theory. I don’t want you to not be here.”

  “In Glenwood Falls?” This was about Florida? He was worried about her moving?

  “In my life,” he said.

  Oh.

  He took another breath. “I want to go on a date with you,” he said quickly, his hands sliding down her cheeks to cup the back of her head. His fingers tangled in her hair as his gaze searched hers.

  A nervous laugh escaped her, easing the tension. Just slightly. “A date?”

  “Yes. A real date. Not a hookup or all-night sex…Okay, maybe that, too. But this time, start with a date that we both acknowledge is a date and see if we—you and I—work together that way.”

  She hesitated, wondering where this was coming from. She suspected it had everything to do with Sean’s blatant interest in her that evening. And she wasn’t sure if Asher’s asking out of jealousy or a sense of desperation was the way she wanted to accept this rare opportunity…

  But she’d be an idiot to tell the man she loved she didn’t want to date him, so she nodded. “Okay. We can go on a date.”

  Chapter 10

  The décor inside the Denver event center ballroom nearly took Emma’s breath away. The annual fashion show and luncheon featured a Nutcracker theme, and unlike the overwhelming tackiness of the décor on her father’s house, this event was so elegantly styled, her Grinch-like heart almost grew in size.

  Live models, dressed as soldiers and ballerinas, stood posed on platforms, rotating and shifting positions every thirty seconds, the painted-on expressions on their porcelain-looking faces never faltering. Their movements were smooth and elegant as they changed from one stance to the next. Their costumes alone were breathtaking, and the vibrant colors and attention to detail were surprising. Never having attended the event before, Emma was impressed by the level of planning that had obviously gone into one of the University Hospital’s biggest annual charity fundraisers.

  “Last time I attended, the models were dressed like snow angels for the snow globe theme,” Jess said excitedly, taking in their surroundings.

  Emma was happy to see that her sister was in a good mood and not at all depressed as Emma thought she might be, attending that year without their mother.

  It was the main reason she hadn’t brought up the fiasco of Friday night’s dinner. Yet. She would though. Jess wasn’t off the hook for that.

  Though it was harder to remain upset with her sister when Jess had unknowingly done Emma a favor. That evening two nights before had certainly gotten to Ash, made him start to sweat a little about losing her. It had obviously put the idea in his head that he could.

  A real date, he’d said.

  He’d invited her to the NHL award ceremony the following weekend. Not as his best friend, but as his date. It was a step in the right direction and had given her hope. She knew not to expect big gestures from Ash. Baby steps.

  She smiled as she and Jess entered the main dining area for the event.

  The catwalk in the center of the room had a castle backdrop, and the runway was covered with glistening white felt that looked like a winter wonderland. The walls were bathed in projected images of a toy shop, and it felt as though they really were stepping inside a kid’s sugarplum dream. Around the runway were round tables of ten with numbers in the center.

  “Every year gets better,” Jess said, accepting two glasses of Champagne with cranberries floating in them from a waiter’s tray and handing her one.

  “I’ll admit, it’s a lot more impressive than I’d thought it would be.”

  Jess beamed, and suddenly Emma was glad she’d agreed to go. With her travel and training schedule over the years, the two hadn’t gotten a chance to become close, like other siblings did. She’d left home to train in Breckenridge when Jess was twelve. And their vast differences in interests kept them from connecting…but maybe it was time they found something to connect on.

  Maybe this yearly event could be a start. She felt a sharp pang in her chest as she thought of the previous events she’d never gotten to experience with their mom. And suddenly, she was the nostalgic mess for something she’d never even experienced.

  “We’re seated near the left side of the stage,” Jess said, checking the table numbers. “This way.”

  Emma followed and smiled in greeting to the other ladies already sitting at the table. On her seat was a gift bag full of expensive items from the event’s organizers and sponsors. The bag alone was worth the two-hundred-dollar ticket, which her sister had insisted on paying.

  “Hi,” Jess said, setting her purse down under the table and removing her winter coat. “I’m Jess, and this is my sister, Emma.”

  Introductions were made, and an event official approached the table with an envelope. “Hi, everyone. Here is your donation envelope. Feel free to slide in anything you’d like and pass it along. We’ll draw names for the centerpieces from these envelopes once the fashion show is over.”

  “The centerpieces are donated from a local artist for the event. Each year, I tried to win and I never did. Maybe this will be my year,” Jess said.

  The centerpiece was a beautiful tall statue of a ballerina and the Nutcracker soldier, missing one of his wooden legs. The soldier was holding the ballerina in one arm, and touching her face with his other hand, his tender gaze staring deep into hers. The dancer’s right leg was lifted and her head was titled delicately to the side as she returned the lovestruck expression. Emma swallowed an unexpected lump in her throat. An injured hero and the woman who loved him. The sentiment struck her at her core as she saw herself and Asher in the beautifully sculpted art piece.

  Next to her, Jess slid her tiny envelope of cash into the bigger envelope and handed it to her. “Could you pass it along?”

  Emma hesitated, then opened her purse and removed a twenty-dollar bill, slid it inside her own tiny envelope, and wrote her name on the outside, ignoring Jess’s look of surprise. “What? The money goes to charity, right?” In truth, she was shocked at how much she wanted to win that centerpiece. It was inspiring in the oddest of ways.

  “Okay, we’ll go with that,” Jess said with a knowing look that made Emma shift her attention to the runway stage.

  The fashion show started as the delicious three-course lunch was served by waiters who drifted through the room like ghosts, and Emma couldn’t believe how much she was enjoying both. The chocolate raspberry mousse for dessert melted on her tongue, and she closed her eyes to savor the taste. She could admit when Jess was right, and she’d been right about how wonderful the event was. Definitely the way to start the holiday season. Her festive mood had finally arrived, and she was certain they’d just started their own holiday tradition.

  “Oh my God—that winter coat is gorgeous,” Jess whispered excitedly next to her as a new song started and a single model appeared on the runway in a red wool coat that reached the floo
r, with a big fur-trimmed hood and brass buttons along the front. Jess jotted down the store name on her napkin and tucked it into her purse.

  Guess they were making a trip to LaDeserie in downtown Denver after they left here.

  But then the model removed the coat to reveal a dark green, strapless evening gown. Emma’s eyes widened. It was beautiful. Floor length and form-fitting with the slightest flare at the bottom, it was breathtaking. Tiny flecks throughout the fabric caught in the overhead runway lights and created a shimmering, glistening effect.

  “That dress would look amazing on you, dear,” the older woman next to her whispered.

  Emma shook her head. She hardly had the same lines and curvy figure as the model wearing it. She’d need two padded bras to pull off the cleavage pouring over the top and an extra three inches of height to accommodate the length…Could she walk in six-inch heels?

  The broken ankle was tempting.

  “I agree, Em,” Jess said. “It’s the perfect color for you and you’re so tiny…It’s too bad there isn’t an event in Glenwood Falls you could wear it to.”

  Maybe not one in Glenwood Falls…She discreetly wrote the name of the store on her napkin as well and stashed it in her purse. Not buying it later that day with Jess might be a challenge, but she didn’t want to ruin their day of bonding with talk of Asher. But that dress was suddenly the only thing she wanted to wear to the NHL award ceremony. For their date.

  What would he think if he saw her in that dress? Would he finally see her in a different light?

  As the last model left the runway, the event organizer took to the stage with their donation envelopes. “Okay, it’s time to announce the winners of the centerpieces. Thank you to everyone who donated.”

  Emma sat straighter as the table numbers were called and a winner was announced. Her hands clenched in her lap as their table number was called. There were only ten of them at the table. Her chances weren’t terrible…

  “The winner for table forty-two is…Jessica Callaway,” the announcer said, with a smile in their general direction.

  “Yay!” Jess said, clapping her hands along with everyone else.