Redemption (Book 4, The Redemption Series)

by S. J. West

  I see Malcolm’s eyes drop to the necklace I’m still wearing. He reaches out and touches it.

  “I don’t remember ever seeing it leave your neck though.”

  “It hasn’t,” I say, shaking my head. “I don’t know how it happened.”

  Malcolm lifts a dubious eyebrow at me.

  “You don’t?” he asks playfully, which makes me smile.

  “Yes, I know how it happened. I just don’t know why the necklace didn’t work to prevent it.”

  “I have a theory,” Jered says. “JoJo said that she thought the items she made for people only worked because they willed them to. It’s like your outfit. When you want to become invisible, you have to want to be invisible, and Jess’ bracelet only works when you ask it to tell you what the other person is feeling. Maybe, you actually wanted to become pregnant and the necklace couldn’t work because you simply didn’t want it to.”

  It made sense to me. I did desire to have children with Malcolm. I’d been yearning for them almost since the moment I first saw him. I wanted to give Lucas the brother and sister he saw in his vision about our family too.

  “Well,” Ethan says, slapping Malcolm on the back, “congratulations, Malcolm. You’re going to be a father.”

  Malcolm looks back at me, and I see his eyes shimmer with tears. I don’t have to ask him what he’s thinking. I’ve grown to understand my husband quite well in the past few weeks. I know he’s thinking about his first son’s final request to him. Sebastian told his father he wanted him to experience the joys of fatherhood without having to be burdened with a child who was cursed. This was Malcolm’s chance to do just that and fulfill his son’s last wish.

  Malcolm hugs me, and I hug him back.

  “I’ll be a good father,” he promises.

  “You already are,” I tell him, knowing the man in my arms will be as doting to the children I’m carrying as he is to Lucas.

  Malcolm helps me stand to my feet.

  “Now that we know you’re pregnant,” Malcolm says, “maybe you shouldn’t go to Hell. It might put the babies in danger.”

  “I need you to trust me on this,” I say. “I need to free Lucifer from Helena’s grasp. Otherwise, I’ll just stress on it, and I don’t think that would do the babies any good either. If there’s nothing I can do for him, I’ll come home. I won’t stay any longer than I have to.”

  “Promise?”

  “Yes, I promise,” I say, leaning up and kissing Malcolm on the lips to seal my vow to him.

  “I’ll take care of her,” Jered tells Malcolm. “At the first sign of danger, she’s out of there. You have my word.”

  “We’ll be waiting for you at home,” Malcolm tells me, unable to hide the worry in his voice.

  “And we’ll start on the mission you gave us,” Ethan says. “No point in wasting time.”

  I turn to look at Will.

  “I guess you’ll be gone when I get back,” I say.

  “Yes,” he replies, even though I can see in his eyes that he wants to stay.

  “Thank you for saving my children. I owe you more than I can ever repay.”

  Will smiles at me. “Just stay alive. You know what happens after they’re born.”

  I nod, not needing Will to spell things out for me.

  After the children are born, Will can only revive them. I’ll lose him as my safety net, but in a way, it makes me feel more human to know I can die at any time. As a species, we’re not meant to live forever.

  I hold my hand out to Jered, and he takes it.

  “Are you sure about this?” I ask him, not knowing exactly what sins he committed in his past that Hell would be more than happy to remind him about.

  Jered nods. “I’m ready. Been there and done that, as they say. Let’s go get Lucifer.”

  I phase Jered and me to Hell. I’m not sure how I’m going to free my dad from its grasp, but I do know one thing. It won’t be easy.

  Chapter 21

  By the time we phase to Hell, I find Lucifer covered in a thick layer of snow. I promptly begin to wipe it off him. Jered helps. My father looks just like he did before I left, frozen into place and completely helpless. I’m not even sure if he knows I’m there. I turn to see which of his many memories is playing in the background and see that it’s the one of my birth and my mother’s death.

  The very first thing I do is try to phase Lucifer out of Hell. Of course, it doesn’t work. I knew Helena wouldn’t make it that simple for me. Jered and I try to lift him up off the bench, but it’s almost like he’s cemented into place. We try to lift the bench itself with him still on it, but it doesn’t budge either. I thought perhaps we could take him out of a fissure like the one Slade and the others escaped through, but that idea is soon squashed into oblivion.

  “Any suggestions?” I ask Jered as I try to think of something we might be missing. I know Jered has spent time down here during his sordid past. Maybe he knows another way out of Hell.

  “I’m sorry,” Jered says, looking as troubled by the predicament as I feel. “I don’t know what else to try to be honest.”

  “I can’t leave him here, Jered. He’s too vulnerable like this. Helena will keep him here forever and make herself even stronger through his pain. I think the seals have given her more power than they ever gave me.”

  “I don’t think that’s true,” Jered says. “You simply didn’t use their power unless you absolutely had to. That’s one of the biggest differences between you and Helena, Anna. She’s only interested in helping herself and causing havoc. You strive to ease the burden of others and show people less fortunate how to fight for better lives.”

  I continue to stare at Lucifer, feeling helpless and small in my inability to save him. His lips slowly begin to move, but his words are spoken so softly I can’t hear them. I lean down until my right ear is almost against his mouth in case he’s able to repeat what he just said.

  Finally, he breathes the words, “Kill…me…”

  I straighten up immediately, feeling my eyes begin to burn with tears.

  “No,” I say, shaking my head at him vigorously, “I refuse do that. I won’t do that!”

  “What did he say?” Jered asks, panicked by my reaction.

  I continue to shake my head at Lucifer, hoping he understands that I can’t do what he wants. He shouldn’t even be asking it of me.

  “He said…kill me,” I tell Jered as I wipe at my tears. “I’m not doing that, Jered. It’s not an option. There has to be another way.”

  “Anna…” Jered says.

  “Don’t even try to talk me into it,” I interrupt him. “Because it’s not happening. Not now. Not Ever. We’ll find another way!”

  “There might not be another way,” Jered says, making me face the possibility even though I don’t want to. “If he thought there was, he would have said that instead.”

  I see Lucifer’s lips move again, but this time he only says one word. I don’t have to lower my head again to hear what he said. The word was distinctive enough to decipher just from the movement of his lips.

  “He wants you to use the bracelet,” Jered says, confirming what I already knew. “It’s the best way to know what he really wants, Anna.”

  “But what if I don’t agree with what he wants?” I ask stubbornly. “Death is just him giving up. You know what will happen to him if I kill him. His soul will go straight to the Void. That isn’t an option for me!”

  “Maybe he would rather spend an eternity in the Void than an eternity as Helena’s puppet down here,” Jered argues. “It’s his life, Anna. You should let him choose what he wants to do with it.”

  “He can’t possibly be in his right mind, Jered! Look at him!”

  Jered grabs me by the shoulders to make me face him so I hear his next words to me clearly.

  “Don’t let your own needs overshadow his,” Jered tells me fervently. “Don’t be that selfish, Anna. You need to do what he wants, not what you want. Sometimes the only way we can show ho
w much we love someone else is by letting them go. Use the bracelet on him, Anna. If you truly love him, you’ll do what’s best for him, not you.”

  Jered lets me go and walks a few feet away, turning his back to give me some privacy with my father. I look back at Lucifer knowing what Jered said is true.

  I brush the snow off the empty part of the bench and sit down beside my father. Tentatively, I place one hand over his closest to me on his lap and silently ask the bracelet to tell me what he’s feeling.

  I’m filled with the deepest sorrow I’ve ever felt in my life. It’s not just because he’s being forced to watch the death of my mother again either. He’s sad that he’s placing the burden of his death on my shoulders. He knows that what he’s asking me to do is partly selfish on his part, but he’s also worried that Helena may use him against me one day. She knows I love him and that I do whatever I can for the people I love. He’s beyond proud of the woman that I’ve become, and he knows that I’m strong enough do the right thing. I have the power to do what must be done. He’s so tired, so very, very tired. He’s lived longer than anything or anyone except for God Himself. He’s ready to move on and finally meet his fate. He wants me to let go and help him finally find peace.

  I squeeze his hand and cry.

  “I’ve only just found you,” I tell him. “I’m not ready to let you go yet. Besides, you have grandchildren on the way. I’m pregnant with the twins Lucas saw Malcolm and I having. I want them to know their grandfather. Please, don’t ask this of me. Please,” I beg.

  I wait a moment to let my words sink in before I ask the bracelet to tell me what he’s feeling again. I’m wracked with disappointment after I ask a second time and feel that his resolve is stronger than ever. He feels saddened by the fact that he won’t get to meet his grandchildren, but he’s certain his death will help protect them. He wants his one and only gift to them to mean something. His death will weaken Helena. Perhaps, even enough to defeat her one day. As long as he remains alive, she’ll continue to feed off his grief and pain to become even stronger than she is now. I feel his heart break as he thinks about all the special moments he’ll miss with me. He’ll never see me hold my babies or be able to hold them himself. He won’t be able to watch me blossom into the great leader he knows I will become one day. But, all of this he is willing to give up because he knows his death will make me safer. He’s ready. It’s time.

  I take my hand off his and call on my power to end an archangel’s life. My hands ignite into blue flames, but I stop myself just before I touch Lucifer again.

  My mother’s words come back to me.

  “You’ll know when the time is right,” she had said. “I have faith in you.”

  I place my hand on top of Lucifer’s again but only to connect him with his father’s love. I’m not even sure it’s working until I see tears fall from the corners of Lucifer’s eyes. Then, I know he’s feeling the warmth of God’s unconditional love for him. It’s a love only a parent can give to their child.

  Lucifer’s lips move again, and I hear him whisper, “Forgive….me…”

  I pray that my father’s words have reached God, but is it too little too late?

  I sob even harder as I squeeze Lucifer’s hand one last time, hoping I can forgive myself one day for what I’m about to do. What I have to do.

  With one thought, Lucifer’s body crumbles into a pile of black ash beside me. The image swims through the veil of my tears, becoming blurry to the point of being unrecognizable.

  I allow my utter grief to consume me as I remain seated on the bench. I’m faintly aware of Jered taking my hands with his and making me stand. He phases us home, and the next thing I’m conscious of is Malcolm enfolding me into his arms.

  “What happened?” I hear Malcolm ask Jered.

  I don’t hear Jered’s response because my grief is all-consuming. I block everything out except for the rending pain inside my heart. Its sorrow is too vast to be expressed by tears alone.

  I’m not sure how long I stand there and cry, but eventually, I feel a gentle hand caress my back and know exactly who it is before I even look. I let go of Malcolm’s tear soaked shirt and turn around to face my mother.

  She opens her arms to me, and I fall into them, still sobbing.

  “Oh, Anna,” she says tenderly, “no more tears my baby girl. Today is not a day for such sorrow.”

  “I killed him,” I wail against her shoulder. “I killed him.”

  “Anna,” my mother says, pulling away from me so she can see my face, “you did the complete opposite.”

  I shake my head, silently telling her that I don’t understand.

  “I need to show you something,” my mother says to me, taking one of my hands with her own. She holds out her other hand to Malcolm. “You have special permission to come along too, Malcolm.”

  Malcolm doesn’t hesitate. He places his hand into my mother’s, and she phases us both.

  I know exactly where we are, Heaven. I feel it silently telling me to leave. That it’s not my time to be here yet.

  “Now, let’s wipe those tears away,” my mother says, using the pads of her thumbs on my cheeks to do just that.

  She turns to look just ahead of where we stand and points, saying, “That’s why today isn’t a day of mourning, Anna. Today is one for a celebration.”

  I look up the small hill beside Lilly’s mountain home and see God standing underneath a large oak tree. Jess is standing on his right side. There are some other people standing directly behind them. I recognize Michael right away. The others I remember seeing in Lucifer’s memory about his fall from Heaven. I assume they must be the other archangels. I begin to cry again, but happily this time, when I see Lucifer standing in front of his father. He’s saying something to God that I can’t hear, but I don’t need to. The fact that he’s even here tells me everything I need to know.

  My mother turns to look at me again.

  “He’s finally come home,” she says simply with the most beautiful smile that has ever existed in the history of the world on her face.

  “How?” I ask, wanting to believe what my eyes are seeing but secretly wondering if I’m simply in a dream.

  “He asked for forgiveness,” my mother answers. “That’s all anyone, even the devil himself, has to do to receive God’s grace. Grand gestures and repentant acts are nice, but the only way to truly receive God’s forgiveness is to ask for it with an open and true heart. He can forgive anything if someone is genuinely repentant for the sins they’ve committed in their lives.”

  I look back at the scene and see Lucifer kneel down before God. His shoulders begin to shake, and I know he’s crying. Jess walks over to my dad and kneels down beside him, placing a comforting arm across his shoulders. She leans her head down next to his and seems to whisper something to him. I know their reunion has been a long time coming and feel honored to witness something most people never thought could happen.

  God takes a step forward and kneels down in front of His son. He places a gentle hand underneath my dad’s chin coaxing him to look up. I watch as God says something to my father. God takes His hand away from my dad’s face and holds it out for His son to take. Lucifer places his hand in his father’s and stands back up. Before my dad can do anything else, I see Jess throw her arms around his neck and give him a fierce hug.

  “Shouldn’t you be over there with him?” I ask my mother as I wipe tears from my eyes after witnessing what just happened.

  “Oh, I was the first one Lucifer found when he arrived,” my mother says smiling shyly. “He knew exactly where I was when he got here. I thought I was hallucinating at first, but he soon proved to me that I wasn’t.” My mother pulls her gaze away from my father to look at me again. “He told me to bring you here so you could be a witness to what you helped bring about. He said being able to experience the love of being a parent again helped him realize just how limitless it can be. He never truly thought his father could ever forgive him until you came in
to his life. He said he couldn’t imagine you doing anything that he wouldn’t forgive you for.”

  “Seraphina’s plan worked,” I whisper, realizing my counterpart knew her father better than he knew himself.

  “Not that I’m not grateful to witness this miracle,” Malcolm says, “but why was I given special permission to visit Heaven?”

  My mother looks at a point just beyond Malcolm and nods her head at something.

  “They all wanted to say thank you,” she tells my husband.

  We turn around and see a large group of girls standing behind us. Caylin, Lilly, and a sweet looking young woman around Caylin’s age, who I haven’t met yet, are standing out in front of the crowd.

  Malcolm takes my hand, and we walk over to them.

  Caylin is the first to hug Malcolm.

  “You did it, Uncle Malcolm. I knew you could.”

  “We all knew you could do it,” Lilly adds, smiling proudly at my husband.

  “Did what exactly?” Malcolm asks, sounding perplexed.

  Caylin takes a step back. “You did what was asked of you. You waited for Anna to be born, and you helped her complete her mission.”

  “But I didn’t,” I tell Caylin, feeling like a complete failure for not bringing the seals back to Heaven. “Helena has stolen some of the seals from me.”

  “But that was never your true mission,” I hear God say behind me.

  I turn around to face him, still feeling like an abject failure even after hearing his words. But when I look over His shoulder and see my father hugging Michael, I understand.

  “Lucifer was my real mission all along,” I say, but don’t really need God to confirm that I’m right. “But what about the seals? Helena is running around free now with…I don’t even know how many she has.”

  “She has five of them,” God tells me, not looking at the least bit worried over the fact.

  “Five,” I say, as the number of seals I have hits me, “that means I have…two.”

  “Yes,” God says. “And I can see by the look on your face that you understand why Helena wasn’t able to take them from you.”