Shh!

by Stacey Nash

  Then he tossed my phone into my lap.

  I righted myself, putting a little distance between us and flicked through my sent messages. The last one read, thanks for your number.

  “How’s college these days? The food still crap?” he asked, as if he hadn’t just hijacked my phone and sensibility. As if everything was hunky dory.

  “Has it ever been not crap? I mean, seriously, curry night …” I turned a raised brow on him. “… who actually likes that slop?”

  A laugh burst from Logan and he lay back on the grass, tucking his hands under his head and letting his long legs flop out in front of us. “It’s a great place to live.”

  Recently it was anywhere but a good place to live. No way was I getting into that though. Not with Logan. Instead I said, “It’s great, until you don’t fit in.”

  “I can’t imagine you not fitting in, Liv. You’re perfect.”

  I kept my gaze on the falling water as I said, “I’m not perfect enough.”

  “Hey.” He shot up, grabbed my arm, and twisted me to face him, the blue in his eyes blazing. “You’re beautiful, and funny, and clumsy as all hell, which is absolutely adorable. Intelligent, kind, and yes, perfect.”

  There was a stupid lump in my throat that threatened to burst with the pain of trying to swallow around it. Heavens, this guy was nice. “If I don’t make president of the student council, I can kiss my future goodbye, Logan. Anyone less than perfect won’t even get an interview at Deakin Parry, let alone an internship. I just … I can’t be a failure.”

  I closed my eyes and leaned back to lie down. Logan’s arm snuck around my shoulders as I fell, and he pulled me to him so we both landed flat on our backs with his arm underneath me. He tugged me into his side.

  “Just because someone isn’t what other people think is perfect doesn’t make them a failure, Liv.”

  I nestled into him, my heart beating wildly from our closeness and my flailing dreams. “My parents …”

  In a rapid smooth movement, Logan eased his arm out from under me and rose onto his elbow so he was gazing down at my face.

  “They already think I’m a failure because I didn’t get into the University of Sydney, or better yet, Melbourne, the best law courses in the country.”

  I wasn’t sure what it was about him, but all my filters just fell away. I had no idea why I was telling him this stuff that I normally didn’t ever air. Dirty laundry, and all that. My mother always said you shouldn’t share it.

  His clear eyed-gaze trailed over my face. “Who gives a rats which uni you go to or what career path you take? Parents are supposed to love their children, regardless of that crap.”

  That tick near his jaw was back, and although his eyes were locked on mine, his focus seemed far away.

  I was acutely aware of his chest pressed against my side, his legs almost touching mine, and his arm practically nestling my head. My heart pounded as if it were trying to reel him in closer with each beat. I’m sure what was supposed to happen next was for him to kiss me, but we didn’t live in a world where everything was perfect. Parents didn’t love their children unconditionally and hot guys didn’t kiss girls just because we wanted them to.

  “Life’s full of supposed tos,” I said on a sigh.

  “Yeah, it sure is.”

  Logan fell back to the ground, tugging me into his side again, and the silence we fell into was comfortable. There was something about being there with him that made me feel different. It was a feeling I couldn’t quite pin, but it was good. The rush of water plunging over a hundred-metre drop into the deep pool was almost as relaxing as the rise and fall of Logan’s chest beneath my cheek. I hadn’t slept much in the past two nights, so it was no wonder my eyes slid closed.

  ****

  Something tickled my cheek and my hip ached. How was it morning already? The bed was rock hard and a constant boom, boom, boom pounded right under my ear. Like a heartbeat …

  Holy harpsical; it was a heartbeat. I took a sleepy breath and opened one eye to the trunk of a huge gum tree. A hand tightened against my waist and yep, my head was still resting against Logan’s chest. Well, this was awkward. I’d gone and fallen asleep on him. He squeezed me closer with the arm curled around me, like he didn’t care that I’d used him as a pillow. How I’d managed to fall asleep in his arms was a miracle. I guess I must have been exhausted.

  I felt the brush of his lips against my head, then an amused, “Morning.”

  My tummy gave a crazy flutter at the feel of his lips. His kiss. “Hi.”

  The roar of the water as it cascaded into the pool was absolutely peaceful, despite its loudness. For the first time in weeks, maybe forever, I was entirely at ease. I should have moved away, but instead I laid there, curled against his side, not game to break this tranquil moment lest it could never be recovered.

  Finally Logan said, “I suppose we should get going.”

  I felt as if I were floating on the walk back up to the car. Everything in the world was manageable, and it would be somehow okay. Logan cranked up the music when we climbed in his Corolla. I had no idea what time it was, but my stomach growled like I hadn’t eaten all day. We didn’t talk much on the ride back in to town. I guess we were lost in our own thoughts, and my thoughts were filled with him.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Molly knocked on my door within minutes of me closing it. When I opened, she barged past, her dark hair a mess of wet tangles that dripped down her t-shirt, which looked to be on backwards, if the “follow your dreams” logo was anything to go by. I could have sworn the words were on the back last time she wore it.

  “Where have you been?” She flicked my arm. “All. Day.”

  The thought of Logan tugged my mouth with a wide smile and Molly grinned in return.

  “You didn’t?” Her eyes widened, and the innuendo was clear.

  “Gosh, no.” Of course a blush hit my cheeks, totally making me look guilty when I wasn’t. But we did sleep and what if the rumours were true and I touched … no way. They were lies. “We didn’t … not that … we did …”

  Molly waggled her eyebrows and swung herself up onto my desk with her legs dangling over it. “No point in denying it, Olivia, I just saw you climb out of a strange car, and by the lack of both you and Logey-boy at lunch, I’m guessing you two played hooky so that you could do the dirty all day long.”

  “Ohmygod, Molly. We did not have sex.”

  “So you were with Logan, then?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And you hooked up?”

  My stupid grin was back. It wasn’t a hook-up, but all arrows were pointing that way for the future.

  An hour later and still on a crazy high, I actually braved the dining hall with Molly, and it wasn’t that bad today. Or maybe it was just that I didn’t notice. Savvy sashayed up to join us while we were still in line. Gosh, that girl knew how to move her curvy figure and in the skinny jeans she was wearing, it sure turned a few heads.

  Molly shielded her mouth with her hand as she placed it beside Savvy’s ear. “Ask Olivia how her day was.”

  “I can hear you,” I said.

  Savvy spun to face me with the sweetest smile. “Then how was it?”

  Finding it impossible to tamp down the high, I laced my arms across my chest and tried to play it cool. “It was all right.”

  “All right?” Molly screeched. “She skipped class to hang out with Logan.”

  My gaze dropped to the hardwood floor as I mumbled, “The whole of Oxley doesn’t care, Molly.”

  Just then Dane swooped in, slinking his arm around Savvy’s waist, and I shot each of them a questioning look. I swear I couldn’t keep up with whatever was going on between them. Hadn’t she said she wasn’t interested? They were more on and off than a flickering light bulb. Dane glanced down the line that had formed behind us and frowned. He probably just wanted to use us to push in.

  “What’s this about Loges?” he asked.

  “Nothing,” I said, at the s
ame time as Molly spilled my secret.

  “Interesting.” A tiny smile curled at the corner of his mouth.

  The girl in front spun round. She was a third year and like all two hundred people who lived there, I recognised her face, and she mine. She probably thought she knew things about me that weren’t true, too. “Have you seen all the notches in the bench of his old room? Becoming one of Logan Hays’ conquests isn’t exactly difficult.”

  My stomach dropped, and I shot her my well-practiced smile.

  “Shut it, Abigail,” Dane hissed.

  “Oh, come on, Dane, I’m doing her a favour.”

  “Stop being a jealous bitch,” Molly said, using her back to block Abigail out of our circle.

  “Is it true?” I directed my question at Dane.

  He glanced over my head, toward the servery, as he said, “It’s an old dormitory. Do you know how many people have lived in that room?”

  Even though she was facing the other way now, Abigail laughed then muttered, “Says the guy with a notched desk.”

  “Not mine or his, baby.” Dane shook his head.

  But it was too late. His reaction had said it all. It felt like the happiness of today had been ripped right out from underneath me. So Logan was a player, and I shouldn’t be surprised; guys as good looking as him could get any girl they wanted. And usually did. Still, I couldn’t stop the hurt pulsing through me. If he was a player than why the bejeebers hadn’t he let me kiss him that night?

  My friends’ laughter buzzed in my ears as the line moved forward and through the servery, even though I didn’t hear much of what was said. Molly’s hand on my shoulder drew me out of my thoughts. “You all right?”

  “Hunky dory,” I responded placing my tray on the table and pulling on my carefree facade.

  When I got back to my room I slunk into my swivel chair and spun in half circles while I waited for the laptop to boot up. After skipping today, I had a ton of reading to catch up on as well as the usual workload. I’d be at it all night.

  My phone beeped with an incoming text, from a number with no name attached.

  Meet me tomorrow at the cafeteria.

  Logan. I pushed my phone to the side and flopped my head back over the chair. I wasn’t sure what to say to him; ‘How many notches have you racked up?’ didn’t quite feel fair. And to be honest, the tiny butterflies that took flight when I saw his name urged me to send back a simple okay. I glanced at the phone, reached for it then pulled my hand away. Today had been absolutely awesome, but …

  My fingers sped over the keypad.

  I just came out of a relationship and I’m not ready for another one.

  Sent. It was gone.

  I stared at the phone. Blinked once then again. My heart beat in my ears. Holy buttercup, what had I done?

  No. Don’t be stupid, Olivia. It was the right choice.

  Or maybe it was wrong.

  My feet began to bounce. My fingers rapped the desk.

  If I were being honest here, it didn’t matter that I’d just broken up with Christian. I could tell already that Logan was different. But I wasn’t sure I could handle him hurting me. I tossed my phone on the desk and turned to the computer. I had a group assignment for Law that I needed to work on. Heck, it wasn’t just Socio I’d skipped today. There was also Torts and Constitutional Law. I dropped my forehead on the desk with the realisation, my gaze sliding to my phone. It beeped and I grabbed it.

  Did I ask you to marry me? :P

  Yeah, good point. I’d totally jumped the gun and assumed he wanted a relationship. Way to come on too strong. I typed out my text and hit send.

  It would have been embarrassing when I turned you down.

  His answer came back almost instantly.

  I don’t think you would have. My boyish charms are hard to resist. So how about 11 tomorrow?

  The warmth of my inner smile matched the one I wore. I could make eleven, and what did a simple catch-up mean anyway? Nothing. Just because I meet him didn’t mean I’d become a conquest.

  See you then, Stalker Boy.

  CHAPTER NINE

  This morning’s classes had been a disaster. I hadn’t managed to catch up last night, so I was pretty lost in Torts Law. Then during my other classes, I’d daydreamed. So I had double the work to catch up on. Instead of studying last night, all I could think about was Logan’s texts, and the cafeteria today. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration if I said I’d read them fifty times. That guy made my head so dizzy. My thoughts bounced back and forth, trying to decide if he really was the nice guy I’d been hanging out with or if he was just the player I’d heard about, looking to add the rumoured ‘sex fiend’ to his list of conquests. As much as I wanted to believe the first, logic wouldn’t let me—until recently, Dane was the biggest player I knew, and they were good mates—but there I was, racing clear across campus to make our meeting point on time.

  Logan was sitting on the same table as the day I’d had lunch with him. Literally on it—his feet lazing where his butt should have been, and his butt was where the food generally sat. His wrists balanced on his knees.

  “Bananas.” The look he gave me was dead serious.

  “Bananas?”

  He nodded. “Bananas.”

  “Apples?”

  “Nope, bananas. That’s what this whole suspension is.” He jumped down from the table, and a tiny part of me was excited he had those faded jeans on again, or another pair very much like them. He pulled his grandpa cap into place and used his head to beckon me toward the library. “Come on, we’re going to do something about it.”

  I frowned as I watched him walk away, unsure of just what he thought he could manage. When he reached the glass doors that led through the main foyer, he stopped and turned around. “I can’t do this without you, y’know.”

  Still rooted to the spot, I shook myself free. It was a mystery just how he thought he could fix this mess with the campaign. He shrugged at me as if to say hurry up, and I finally moved. Once we were through the building and back outside, Logan swung down to the students’ association, and my gosh, the guy was a genius. I’m not sure why I hadn’t thought of them straight away. They acted as a union of sorts that helped students in all ways imaginable, as well as handing out condoms, which was the extent of their services most students used. He grabbed my hand and slid his fingers between mine. “We’ll fix this.”

  At that moment I had every faith that we somehow would. Perhaps it was because I felt all kinds of awesome—not only was he standing up for me, Logan was holding my hand like he cared about me. Having someone on my side was an amazing feeling.

  He pushed the door open and we stepped inside. A student-aged girl sitting behind the information desk looked up and sure enough, huge glass bowls containing foil packets of just about every colour sat on either end of the counter. She appraised Logan with a onceover that lasted entirely too long for my liking. Even our linked hands didn’t seem to stop her.

  Logan released me and leaned against the counter. “We’ve got an appointment with the Support Officer.”

  “Yes …” She glanced at her computer. “Miss Dean is it?”

  “That’s the one,” Logan said.

  “Just take a seat and Ms Sarin will be ready for you in a moment.”

  Logan spun around and took one of the hard plastic chairs, which stood in a line by the window. I sat on the seat next him.

  “This was a brilliant idea,” I said. “Thank you.”

  Logan smiled.

  After a few minutes, a lady—much younger than I’d expected, and wearing pretty casual clothes, jeans and a cardigan—emerged from a tiny hallway. Her gaze settled on Logan and me, her brow pinching slightly. “You must be Miss Dean?”

  I stood and extended my hand. “Olivia Dean.”

  The woman’s smile was tight. “Just this way.”

  I went to glance back at Logan, but he was already by my side. We followed her into a small office and she closed the door behind us.


  “Hi, Amrita.” Logan greeted her kind of warmly, as if they knew each other. “Thanks for squeezing us in.”

  “It was nothing a little shuffling couldn’t accommodate.” She smiled at Logan and I found myself feeling uneasy at their familiarity. Was this woman—who looked barely older than us—a notch in that desk? I slid to the side of my chair.

  “So, what brings Miss Dean here today?” she asked, like I wasn’t even in the room.

  “Liv has an issue with her presidential candidacy—”

  “I am in no place to offer help in that regard. We’re owned by the student association, Logan, I can’t bestow any favours on candidates.”

  The hopes I’d only just found a few minutes ago felt dashed. Of course she couldn’t. It made perfect sense. If word got out, she’d lose her job. Or if I didn’t get in, the first item on the new president’s agenda would be to replace her.

  “It’s not like that.” Logan leaned forward in his chair. “Just hear us out.”

  Amrita steepled her fingers and leaned back in her chair. “Five minutes, Logan, and no promises.”

  I swear he didn’t even draw a breath before jumping in. “Liv’s presidential candidacy has been suspended unfairly by the board and we want them to lift it.”

  “I don’t even know why they’ve suspended me,” I added.

  “Have you tried asking them?”

  “Well, no, but …” But what? How did I explain that I hadn’t because I was pretty sure of the reason? I snuck a glance at Logan from the corner of my eye. He looked so sure of himself. I really didn’t want to come across as ungrateful for what he’d done for me that night, but the truth of the matter was he was involved, and mentioning it might get him a name as a troublemaker. Something I really didn’t want to do.

  I closed my eyes and sighed. “I think it’s because I was involved in an incident at The Bar.”