Point of No Return

by Tara Fox Hall

  “You do love her utterly,” Devlin said with relish. “Because you know the type of kills I’d most enjoy having you make—”

  Theo’s patience snapped. “Just tell me who you want dead, damn you!”

  “I have Lash for that!” Devlin snarled, enraged. “There is nothing, absolutely nothing you could offer me that would make me let her go!”

  I recoiled back from their screaming voices. “Stop it!”

  Devlin’s rage turned to pleasure. “She is the only thing you have of value to me, Theo, the only thing. Much as I’d like to make you kill for me, it is nothing compared to being inside her, loving her as I drink from her—”

  “You fucking bastard!” Theo spat back furiously. “I’m telling you, you aren’t getting into our lives again!”

  “I’ll be getting into her this weekend, Theo, as deep as I want to,” Devlin purred. “And there isn’t a damn thing you can do to stop me.”

  Theo roared furiously into the phone, the volume deafening. “I’ll kill you!”

  “Sar,” Devlin purred cruelly. “I think it’s time Theo had a lesson. You remember how it was between us.” He sighed in pleasure. “You said you loved hearing me come, that you wanted me more than you had ever wanted anyone. Let him hear from you how much you love me, how eager you are to be back in my arms again.”

  His voice enfolded me, bathing me in instant heat and wanting. “You know I do—” I whispered.

  “But he needs to hear it, Love. I want him to hear it, to know that keeping us apart would hurt you as much as me. Say it for me, please.”

  Images flashed before my eyes of Devlin and I, of how much I’d wanted him, from the moment he’d come to me, of us making love, of him singing to me, or murmuring poetry, his golden eyes filled with desire. “I love you, Dev. And I will never stop wanting you, ever.” I sank down onto the nearby couch, again unsteady.

  “I hear it in your voice, Love,” Devlin said lustily. “I am glad Titus’s spell didn’t affect your desire for me. Go, enjoy your kitten until we can be together again.”

  Theo growled hatefully. “I’ll find some way to get her away from you, you son of a bitch, if it’s the last thing I do.”

  Devlin gave a cruel and mocking laugh. “Don’t you get it, Theo? Sar doesn’t want to get away from me anymore. You are fighting a battle you can’t win.” His pleasure became a living, breathing thing. “The most delectable part, Theo, is that if you would have let Sar go to Danial in the fall, you would be sharing her with only him now. He probably would have agreed to an infrequent blood exchange, with a little sex thrown in here and there. But no, you couldn’t stand the thought of she and him being together. You had to give her rules to follow, rules that almost killed her.” He laughed triumphantly. “Look where your rules have gotten you, Theo: sharing the love of your life with not one, but two vampires!”

  Theo was snarling in anger, his eyes yellow and slitted, his clawed hands scoring the phone. He was so livid he couldn’t speak around his growing fangs.

  “Dev, please stop,” I said weakly. “Please.”

  “Only because you asked, Darling,” Devlin purred. “Expect Lash on Friday afternoon, around noon.” He hung up.

  I returned the phone to its cradle. Theo slammed his back into its holder so hard I was surprised it didn’t break.

  I turned to him. “Can you live with this, with how our lives are going to have to be? I’ll understand if you can’t.”

  “I’m not leaving you,” he said raggedly. “I’m not giving up on finding a way out of all this.”

  “I know what I said hurt you. But it’s how I feel, Theo.”

  Theo walked over slowly, then sat heavily on the couch. “You’ve had his blood now, a lot of it,” he said wearily. “It’s not a surprise that you want him like you wanted Danial back in the fall.”

  I sat beside him. Oddly, my first desire was to comfort him. “What you said about him being a ladies’ man was true; I saw the proof at his house. When he swore to me, he didn’t swear exclusively.” I paused, smarting at the memory. “He will probably break with me once he has his child. I don’t know if he loves me, or if I just remind him strongly of a woman he loved years ago.”

  Theo nodded. “Annabelle. I know the story, and heard what he said about your blood being like hers.”

  I rubbed my eyes. “If more women were found with blood like mine, he probably wouldn’t even be interested in me.”

  “No, he does care about you,” Theo said, resigned. “He’s done everything in his power to get you in thrall to him since the night he met you. It burned him that you wanted a life with me instead. I don’t imagine he is a man who was ever jealous much.”

  Devlin had said something to that effect once. “You have to know something else, too: I wanted to leave you under the love spell, and not break it.”

  Theo gave me a look of incomprehension. “What? Why?”

  “I thought that maybe with her you’d get the life you and I had talked about years ago. I wanted you to be happy, even if it wasn’t with me.”

  “What?” he managed.

  “I took you from your peaceful life in the West and dragged you back here into bloodletting, only to find out the life we wanted wasn’t possible. I wanted you to have peace.”

  Theo reached out and hugged me. “Sar, what is a life like that worth without you to share it? I love you, only you. I want to be where you are, no matter where that is.” He moved back slightly. “What I was doing out in Wyoming was temporary, not permanent. It would have only been a matter of time before someone came looking for me for revenge over someone I killed in the past or for the bounty that’s on my head—”

  “Danial mentioned that,” I said, worried. “Is it because you’re second now?”

  “You might as well know now that there’s more than one,” he said tiredly. “There are at least two, besides this death threat now from Peterson. I’m planning on laying low and staying close to home for the next few months, around people I trust to watch my back.” He took my hand in his. “I wanted a peaceful life for me and you, but I was dreaming, Sar. I can’t quit, or just be a carpenter. I can’t be anything other than what I am.”

  I hugged him. “I love who you are, the man you are. I don’t want you to change.”

  His face broke into a smile. “So you still do love me.”

  “I always did,” I said softly.

  “Let’s go for a walk together,” he said, hugging me. “The dogs need it, and we could use the fresh air.”

  The dogs heard the “W” word immediately, and began barking and whining.

  Theo and I got on our shoes and coats, then went outside, the dogs charging ahead of us through the snow as Theo slipped one of his guns into a side holster.

  “Some of the snow’s melted,” I said, looking around. “It must have gotten warmer—”

  There was a loud crash. Theo reacted, moving me smoothly behind him, his gun drawn.

  I breathed a sigh of relief, and pointed. “No worries.” A huge chunk of ice had fallen off the garage roof and hit the driveway, smashing into several pieces.

  The rest of the walk was invigorating, but serene. We both threw snowballs for the dogs to catch, and Darkness rolled repeatedly in the snow, all her feet up in the air, until she was covered in it, white as Ghost.

  “This feels like the calm before the storm,” I said, apprehensive.

  “It is,” Theo said, slipping his arm around my shoulder. “Let’s get back, it’s getting dark.”

  We got back inside, stripped off our wet gear, and toweled off Ghost and Darkness. “I’m going to make some pasta,” I said eagerly. “Sound good?”

  “Sure,” Theo replied. “While you do, I’m calling Dr. Camlyn to make you an appointment.”

  I turned to him. “For what? It’s too early to know.”

  “It doesn’t hurt to get an appointment on his books early.”

  I shot him an exasperated look. “I know you’re eager for a
baby. Why exactly is that, Theo? Children didn’t matter to you only a few years ago.”

  “Because of Elle,” he replied easily. “I want there to be a person that’s part of you and me. I want us to make one together, and to raise him or her, to watch them get big. I used to look at her, and imagine that she was yours, Sar. That’s why I gave her your name.”

  My heart softened. Maybe he wasn’t the world’s greatest father, but Theo had tried to do what was right by Elle. We’d almost missed out on a life together, and we’d found a second chance. Should I deny him this, if I loved him? How many more chances was I going to get?

  I opened my mouth to tell him I’d have his baby, then closed it with a snap. That thought hadn’t come from me, not the me I’d been this time last week.

  “Sar?” Theo said, concerned. “What’s wrong?”

  “Go ahead and make the appointment,” I said, turning back to the stove in disquiet. “I’ll get the pasta boiling.”

  After dinner, we sat on the couch cuddling. “This is wonderful,” I said contentedly. “I’ve missed spending time with you.”

  “I only wish you’d let us spend it watching something else,” Theo griped. “This ‘A-Team’ is bullshit. They’ve made ten tactical errors in this episode alone. Also it’s amazing how with all the gunfire and flipped cars, no one ever seems to die, or break their legs.”

  “It’s family friendly,” I said defensively.

  The phone rang.

  Chapter Eight

  “Don’t answer it,” Theo urged.

  “It might be Elle.” I got up, and went to the phone. “Hi, Danial.”

  “Sar,” Danial said harshly. “Have Theo pick up the phone immediately.”

  Glad his tone wasn’t for me, I handed the phone to Theo. “Danial for you.”

  Theo eyes went to slits. “Keep it, I’ll get my own.” He picked up the second extension. “I’m here,” he said roughly. “What is it, Danial?”

  “I just got off the phone with Devlin,” Danial said icily. “You cannot deny him rights to Sar. You will have not only Perseus and Samuel after you and her, but the entire vampire community.”

  “I thought you of all people would understand that I don’t want—”

  “What you want is immaterial!” Danial snarled loudly, sounding just like Devlin. “This call is to inform you that I put up with your nonsense for years, and I won’t any longer.”

  “What are you talking about?” Theo said, confused.

  “You dictated what I could do with her and what I couldn’t, how I could touch her, how much time she could spend with me alone—”

  “In my position, you would have done the same,” Theo growled.

  “But no more,” Danial went on as if he had not heard. “We are Oathed, Theo. I wanted to confirm her visit to me on Saturday. She and I spoke about it last weekend, when she was at Hayden. I want to make sure of the time she’s arriving, so I can be here to welcome her.”

  The more he went on, the more upset I got. He was acting as Devlin had, more concerned with his rights to me than what I was comfortable with.

  “—From my understanding, Devlin is expecting her on Friday, so there should be no problem—”

  “There is a problem,” Theo said coldly. “I’m her husband, and I say if she leaves or not. You and Devlin can’t just call up whenever and demand she appear at your homes at a certain time. She’s not a whore to come at your beck and call.”

  “Stop it,” I said frantically. “I’d already agreed to go, Theo.”

  “You are not her husband anymore,” Danial said, empathic yet firm. “You have no say in our arrangement. You’re my friend, and I’m sorry to hurt you. But I love her, and I like spending time with her. Whether that time is in bed making love or not is entirely up to Sar. But you are not going to keep her from seeing me, not ever again.”

  Theo was silent.

  “You must accept it,” Danial said compassionately. “I know it’s not what you wanted, but it’s how things are. This situation is workable, if we do not constantly jostle one another for time, anyway.”

  “What are your terms?” Theo growled. “We’ve heard Devlin’s already.”

  “Devlin has agreed to have Sar visit for just one day and night a week, as I have,” Danial replied. “She’ll remain at her house the other nights, or be wherever she wishes to go. It goes without saying you are always welcome here, Sar.”

  “Thank you,” I said, feeling that some acknowledgement was necessary.

  Theo was still silent.

  “There is nowhere Devlin wouldn’t find you, if you try to take her and run,” Danial continued. “Don’t enter into any foolish plan. Lash would track you down, kill you, and bring Sarelle back to Devlin.”

  Theo was still silent.

  Danial went cold as ice. “Theo, if you try to turn Sar into a werecougar like yourself, it most likely wouldn’t work—”

  Theo started, his eyes sliding away from mine as he put his back to me. My eyes went wide in fear. That had been exactly what he had been thinking.

  “—Even if you did manage to turn her, it wouldn’t break our Oath. Devlin doesn’t mind the taste of wereblood, though I’m sure Samuel would have you killed. But what should matter most to you is that Sar would hate you for doing that to her. If she wanted to be werecougar, she would have asked you by now to make her one, and she hasn’t.”

  Theo didn’t reply.

  Danial sighed. “If you try to kill Dev, Lash will kill you for sure. Lash’s older, he’s more skilled, and he’s faster than you are. Don’t think because your status has changed to second in these past years that you are even close to his expertise. Remember the time he broke your neck—?”

  “Danial, I can’t do this,” Theo whispered. “I can’t be alone here all weekend, and think about her with you and him. I can’t do that for the rest of my life—”

  “How the hell do you think I feel right now?” Danial shouted loudly. “Knowing she’s there with you, and dreamed with you again, and most likely loves you more than before?”

  “Stop it,” I said tearfully. “Please, stop it.”

  “I’m sorry for my outburst,” Danial said instantly. “Please excuse me, Sweetheart. I didn’t meant to upset you. If you wouldn’t mind, hang up for now. I’ve got some things to talk over with Theo—”

  “Say them,” I said, weary but resolute. “I don’t want to be left out of the decision process.”

  “Very well,” Danial answered. “Theo, I leave you with this thought: it is better to have a little of something you love dearly than not to have it at all.” He paused.

  “What else?” Theo growled softly. “Say it.”

  “I have to inform you that I believe Devlin took Tasha, and gave her to Lash, as he wanted to. He wouldn’t admit it, but she was gone this morning from the barracks. There was residue of demon teleportation.”

  “It may have been Titus,” I whispered. “He wanted to kill her.”

  “Devlin’s decisions command Titus’s actions, Sar,” Danial said carefully. “He gave the order. By now she is either dead, or wishing she was.”

  “Why would Lash want her?” I asked curiously. “I didn’t understand that last night. He already has a...um, girlfriend.”

  No one answered me, something more frightening than talk of rape and torture.

  “I’ll call Devlin,” Theo said gruffly. “Most likely, Lash found out who gave her the potion she used on me. I want to make sure it was Samuel.”

  “Fine, but don’t antagonize Devlin further,” Danial warned. “He’ll kill you outright. It is only fear of angering Sar that stays his hand.”

  “I get it,” Theo said gruffly. “I’ll be nice.”

  “Sar, I talked to Elle, told her Theo is back with you. Though she’s upset you took him back, I think she’s happier, because she thinks things will go back to normal now.” Danial paused. “She was upset that Devlin and you are together. I explained he had been a power to be reckoned
with for many more years than I, that he had done terrible things, and had more respect from our peers than I did.” Danial paused. “I’m not sure—”

  “That’s not important! Does she understand why I did what I did?” Theo asked loudly. “Did you tell her about the love potion?”

  “She understands it wasn’t your fault. She’s angry at Tasha, not at you.”

  “Tell her I’m staying with Sar,” Theo said, his eyes on me. “Tell her we are staying married. Ask her if she’d like to come here and spend this weekend with me.”

  “I think that would be good for everyone,” Danial said in approval. “Hold on, I’ll ask her.”

  “What are you doing?” I asked him, surprised.

  Theo covered the receiver. “Danial’s right. I need to accept this is how things are, at least for now. It will be good for me, and for Elle. We should spend more time together anyway, she won’t be a child much longer.”

  “You know she’s already wearing lipstick?” Danial said.

  “What?” Theo roared. “She’s only nine at the most!”

  “Calm down,” I soothed, going over to him. At once, the two phones began to give us feedback, being too close together. “Damn it—”

  “I’m going to let you go,” Danial said. “I’ve got a client on hold. Theo, Elle said yes, so expect her tomorrow morning sometime. Bring her back with you on Monday morning, if that’s good for you.”

  “Yes,” Theo said. “Bye.” He hung up, took a deep breath, and then called Hayden.

  Lash answered. “Dev’s not here, Sar. Try back later.”

  “It’s Theo, Lash.”

  “What do you want, Jerk?” Lash hissed.

  “I need to talk to Devlin,” Theo growled. “Put me—”

  Lash hung up on him without another word. Theo roared in fury.

  Irritated, I took the phone from him before he threw it, and dialed Devlin’s cell. He answered on the first ring. “What is it, Sar?”

  “Danial said you took Tasha. I need to know if you did, and if she’s dead.”

  He was quiet for a moment, certainly thinking of a way to answer and still make himself look good. “I’ll give you to Lash, so he can tell you—”