Point of No Return

by Tara Fox Hall

  “Why am I here?” Devlin said, folding his arms, irritated at Danial. “What is so important?”

  “I want Sar to go away with me for a few days in the next month or so,” Danial said casually. “I wanted to talk to you both about it, before I made arrangements.”

  “You are not taking her, brother,” Devlin growled, his eyes red.

  Theo came up to stand beside Devlin, also incensed. “He’s right,” Theo said. “Anything could happen.”

  “Like what?” Danial said in exasperation. “We’re going to go someplace not very far away from here. If the Lust hits, I’ll handle it. I won’t let her roam by herself, unattended—”

  “Danial,” Devlin sang meaningfully. “She’s having my child—”

  Danial glared back, his answering words brusque and forceful. “If there is any sign of anything wrong, I’ll call Terian to teleport her out of there. And that’s only if Sar can’t just do it herself.”

  “I want to come, too,” Devlin said jealously. “I—”

  “You just had some time with her alone a few weeks ago,” Danial retorted, his eyes red now. “It’s something I want. We’re going to do it, Dev.”

  Theo opened his mouth.

  Danial shot him a look. “And you had a honeymoon with her, so keep it shut!”

  “Not a quiet one!” Theo retorted. “You were always calling—!”

  “Stop it!” I shouted. “Before I kick all of you out!”

  Devlin sighed. “If you want to go, go ahead. I’m okay with it, Love.”

  “I haven’t agreed yet,” Theo growled. “I have a say in where she goes.”

  Devlin rolled his eyes. “What objection could you possibly have if she wants to go, and she’s safe?”

  “It’s not safe,” Terian said, appearing suddenly in our midst.

  Theo grabbed for his gun, I let out a yell, Devlin started, and Danial was knocked off balance, as Terian was standing too close to him when he appeared. He half sat, half fell down on the couch.

  “Don’t ever fucking do that again!” Devlin said, glaring at Terian. “You hear me, half-breed?”

  Terian sneered at him. “Or what?”

  Danial got up fluidly, and went to stand in front of Terian. “Dev’s right, Terian. Enough theatrics. Lately you’ve been full of yourself, and it’s annoying everyone, including me. Knock it off.”

  Terian’s look was cold, not respectful. For some reason, that scared me.

  “He’s right,” Theo said, his tone still electric with adrenaline. “Stop scaring people, especially Sar. You want to scare someone, save it for our enemies.”

  “Fine,” Terian said coolly. “I was just making a point.”

  “What point?” Devlin said.

  “That anyone can teleport in here at any time,” Terian said. “I need to do some sort of spell here, as Titus did at Hayden. I’ve done one at your house already, Danial.”

  “So do it,” Danial said easily. “I want Sar protected.”

  “There’s more,” Terian said uneasily.

  “What?” we all said.

  “Leri is back in town,” he answered.

  Chapter Twelve

  “What do you mean, she’s back?” Theo asked. “Have you seen her?”

  “No, but Titus has. She came to him one night in a dream, asked him for his forgiveness. She’s always been able to do that with him, he said, but she has to be somewhere in the surrounding towns. She can’t do it from a distance. So she’s here—”

  “Fucking great!” Devlin spat. “Before I know it, they’ll be back together again!”

  I looked at him, astounded. “She tried to kill Terian. Titus wouldn’t take her back.”

  Devlin shot me a bitter smile. “She’s tried to kill him before, Sar. Three times. He took her back every damn time.”

  Fucking great, indeed. “That’s terrible.”

  “He might at that,” Terian said sadly. “It was in his words how much he misses her, despite what she did to me.”

  I couldn’t think of anything constructive to say, so I said nothing. Theo had no such restraint. “He’d have to be fucking crazy to do that. Devlin, if you let Titus take her back, if she lives with you at Hayden, I’m not letting Sar come to you at your home. Leri threatened her as well as Terian. She probably wants revenge on Sar for doing that.”

  “I agree, Dev,” I said.

  “I agree, also,” Danial said, his eyes on Devlin. “Sar is not going to your house to spend time if Leri comes to live there again.”

  “Agreed, for now,” Devlin said, holding up his hands in a submissive gesture. “I don’t want Leri living there again anyway. She wrecked a lot of the house, and I’m just starting work on some of the worst areas.” He looked at me. “Sar is helping with some of it,” he said proudly.

  Theo gave me a curious look.

  Danial nodded. “I thought she probably would. She likes to keep busy, and fixing things is one of her favorite hobbies.”

  “There is a lot she is working on for me. In fact, Theo, you may need to let her come to my house more often—”

  “Dev,” Theo growled. “I’ve been very understanding about all this. Don’t push it.”

  Devlin narrowed his eyes, but said nothing.

  “Back to the business at hand,” Theo continued. “I’ll agree to Sar going with Danial on his getaway if you both okay her going west with me and Elle sometime in the summer.”

  “Why?” Devlin said quickly, glancing from Theo to me and back again. “Where?”

  “Sar’s in-laws want to meet me,” Theo said proudly. “And I want to show Elle where Sar found me, where we spent time after she came to me. We’d stay a week or so.”

  “I don’t have a problem with that,” Danial said, after a moment. “But it has to be only a week at most. Teleport.”

  Theo nodded. For some reason, that small movement caused my simmering rage to boil over.

  “I’ll agree,” Devlin said slowly. “If you let me have her for a week to myself as well—”

  “Anyone want to bother asking me what I want?” I screeched.

  All eyes turned to me. Theo and Devlin looked surprised, but Danial looked almost as if he had been expecting this.

  “It’s my decision,” I said bitingly “If I go or stay, and who I go with where.”

  No one said anything for at least a minute. Then Danial cleared his throat.

  “Are you saying you don’t want to go with me?” he asked neutrally. “Because last night you made me believe that you did.”

  I knew I’d hurt him. Stifling my guilt, I made myself go on. “I want to go with you,” I said, giving him a soft look. “Check into places, and let me know.” I turned to Theo. “Yes, we should go out west. I haven’t seen my relatives in a long time, and Elle should come—”

  I met Devlin’s eyes, red and wrathful. “And you can calm down. We spent time alone just a few weeks ago. You’re swamped with your duties anyway. Sometime next fall we can take a short trip, when things settle down.”

  Devlin’s eyes changed slowly back to gold. “If you’re consenting to each request, what was your outburst about?”

  “That this fighting over me has to end. No more taunts and nastiness, Devlin. No more trying to find a way to free me from my Oath, Theo. And Danial, relax already; I said I’d come to you. Don’t freak out if I’m a few minutes late, because it’s going to happen occasionally.”

  They all looked at me as if they weren’t sure who they were looking at.

  “Look,” I said, folding my arms across my chest. “This is really hard for me. I was raised to believe it should be one man, one woman. It’s not that I don’t love you, because I do. I just don’t like this situation, if you can call it that. As things are right now, I just can’t do it.”

  I had their full attention now. “What do you mean?” Theo said.

  “I need you all to stop demanding so much of me, or remove yourselves from our ménage-a-quatre. I like sex, probably more even
than the average woman, but I am worn out—”

  “Sar—” Danial said tenderly, reaching for me.

  I stepped away from him, and held up my hand. “Let me finish!” I said firmly.

  He nodded, and drew his hand back.

  “Is everyone okay with what I just said?” I asked pointedly.

  “I’m okay with it,” Devlin said. “But you and I need to talk more about this, the next time you come to me. We should come up with some clear plan, so I at least am not contributing to your distress.”

  Was he saying he’d need another lover? I’d have to find out then. “Fine.”

  Devlin gave me a chaste kiss, then turned to Terian. “Take me back.”

  Terian took his hand, and then they disappeared.

  Danial slipped his arms around me. “I’m okay with you visiting once a week. You can do nothing more than sleep beside me when you need to. Not every time, please, but I don’t want you to feel the way you are feeling now. And it goes without saying, if you are pregnant that I won’t expect sex until sometime after the child is born, when you’re ready.”

  “Thank you,” I said gratefully.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Danial hugged me. “Take me home, Sar.”

  I teleported him home in an instant. When I moved to step away from him in the great room, he stopped me. “Wait! I wanted to be alone with you.”

  “Why?”

  “Devlin may ask you to let him be with other women. He has always had more than one lover, Sar. I wanted to warn you, in case you didn’t realize it.”

  I took a burn. “Not when he was with Anna. He said he was faithful to her—”

  “She was his. They spent every night together. He never had to share her like this.”

  “Then he should give me up!” I said angrily. “He—”

  “Sar, it is within his rights to take you to Hayden, and keep you there,” Danial said harshly. “Don’t push him, because he wants to do that. He is waiting for Theo or you to give him an excuse to do just that—”

  Always about vampire rights and vampire laws! “Danial, he gave me his word that he wouldn’t be with anyone else for a decade! I told him I understood if he wanted to be, and he said he loved only me, that he wanted only me!”

  Danial hugged me close. “He may have felt that way at the time, but he thought, as I did, that Theo was leaving you. If he only shared you with me, he probably could do it. But his sexual appetites have always run to excess. He’d likely have asked anyway when you are in your last months of pregnancy—”

  “What are you advising?” I said abruptly. “Be blunt.”

  “Share him, as he is sharing you. Let him take other lovers. He can’t give you anything. There is no danger.”

  “That was never the reason I didn’t want him to be with someone else,” I managed.

  “I know, Love,” Danial said, hugging me. “But if you really love him, you need to let him have what he needs.”

  Sickened, I nodded. “I’ll take it under advisement. Now, I’d better get back to Theo.” I teleported back to my home, not waiting for his reply.

  Theo was on the couch vegetating. He shut off the TV when I appeared. “He wanted to talk to you in private, too?” he said, pulling me down beside him. “About what?”

  I made a face. “He said Devlin will want other lovers, and to give him what he wants.”

  “Will you?” Theo asked.

  “Probably,” I said, after a moment. “What choice do I have? I thought he would get tired of me, just not this soon.”

  “If only he would,” Theo said, hugging me close. “I want him to get tired of you, Sar, so it’s just the two of us again. Well, three, but I don’t mind Danial anymore.”

  The thought of losing Devlin to another woman made me feel like my chest was on fire. It hurt to breathe.

  “I didn’t realize how I was making you feel,” Theo said gently. “We don’t have to be intimate every night. It’s enough that you are here with me.”

  “Thank you, Theo,” I said, hugging him halfheartedly.

  That night, despite my distraction over Devlin, I was aware of a change in Theo. Not only did he heat up dinner, he also made us popcorn. Later, when we went to bed, he held me, but didn’t push for more. As much as I was relieved, I wanted to know this was real, not just temporary good behavior.

  “Are you sure this is going to be okay?” I asked him.

  “Is what okay?” Theo said, pushing my hair out of my eyes.

  “Is this enough?” I said pointedly. “More importantly, is it going to be?”

  “You only ever needed to say something,” Theo replied, shifting uneasily. “Besides, I’d planned to take it easier with you in any case.”

  I shot him a look of bewilderment. “What?”

  “When Tasha and I were together—”

  I rolled away from him immediately, but he grabbed me. “No, listen, please!”

  I lay there silent, fuming.

  “She didn’t put my needs above her own, like you did. When she told me her body couldn’t take what I would do to her, I didn’t believe her. I thought I was being careful. Then she went to a doctor here to get on birth control, and he wanted her to report me for abuse.”

  “Normal sex is sometimes rough—”

  “He said that it had to be rape because I had bruised her so badly.” Theo cleared his throat. “Just like I hurt you, I’m sure.”

  I didn’t speak, or look at him, knowing he’d see the answer in my eyes.

  “Now that I know I hurt you doing it, I’ll be careful. I don’t get off on causing you pain.”

  That was another dig at Devlin, but I let it slide. “Fine,” I said neutrally. “Let’s go to sleep. I’m exhausted.”

  * * * *

  The following Monday afternoon, while eating lunch out with the kids and Terian, I brought up Titus.

  “How are things with your father?”

  “Why do you ask?” Terian said, giving me a funny look.

  “I care about you and I’m beginning to like him,” I said bluntly. “But some of the spells he uses are black magic. I can’t tell if I should trust him or not.”

  “He’s not as nice as you think he is,” Terian said cryptically.

  Was he being overly dramatic, or honest? “Elaborate,” I requested, taking a sip of my hot chocolate. Elle and Theoron both were still eating their super-size sundaes. God, what I would give to be a child again and not worry about calories at all.

  “Titus knows a lot of magic, Sar. He’s almost a thousand years old.”

  “Wow. I hadn’t suspected that.”

  “He does know a lot of dark magic, but that’s the more powerful magic. And yes, he’s teaching me some of it.”

  “Should I ask about what you want it for,” I said gently, “or would you rather I didn’t?”

  “Titus told me about that spell he used on that woman,” Terian murmured. “You know the one I’m talking about, right?”

  Harriet. “Do you think it worked?”

  “It should’ve,” Terian said, nodding. “Though your blood might not be the only factor.”

  “What else could be?” I supplied. “My natural resistance?”

  “Maybe. Possibly that you were with Danial so long, both before and after he gained power. It had to help that your body was strong, from the life you led.” Terian paused, then whispered, “Harriet and you are very different, Sar. She is younger by about ten years, and her body is very delicate and thin.”

  “Her youth might be an advantage.” Provided, of course, that she didn’t miscarry.

  “You know Monica asked me about altering her blood,” Terian continued. “She wanted me to get a sample of your blood, so she could try to change hers.”

  Every time I heard that wench’s name, I got pissed off all over again. “She told me that before I killed her.”

  Elle abruptly stopped eating, shooting me a look of disquiet.

  Shit. I said nothing, hoping she’d
not ask questions.

  “I refused to help her,” Terian went on. “She cared about Danial, but I knew he didn’t love her, and that you would never agree—”

  Just like that, my blood pressure skyrocketed again. “Damn straight,” I said vehemently.

  Theoron and Elle both stared at me, shocked.

  Well, if they knew I killed people, knowing I swore wasn’t that bad, so long as they didn’t do it, anyway. Regardless, lunch was over. “Come on, kids. Let’s head home.”

  Theoron opened his mouth, his gleeful expression testament that he planned to echo me.

  Dissuade, then distract. “Don’t use that phrase I just said,” I said quickly. “Mommy didn’t mean to say it, and it’s not polite.” I stood up. “Grab your things. It’s time to leave.”

  “Okay,” Theoron and Elle said together, gathering up their wrappers and coats.

  “Yes, we should get back,” Terian said eagerly. “I’ve got a lot to do this afternoon.”

  He wasn’t just enthusiastic; he was a rampant lion prancing. “Spill it, Terian.”

  “Not that it’s your business, but I’m back with Sundown,” he stated.

  I stared at him. Jesus Christ. Hadn’t he learned the first time she was bad news?

  “She’s moving in with me at Danial’s,” Terian continued. “When you meet her, try to be nice.”

  “I’m always nice,” I answered, miffed. “Did she come to terms with what you are?”

  “She says she wants to try,” Terian said carefully. “She hasn’t been serious about anyone since me, or so she said.”

  I felt a sinking feeling. Terian was hopeful and positive, but Sundown had ripped out his heart the last time they’d broken up, back when he asked her to marry him. She’d likely do it again.

  I managed a smile. “Good luck. I hope that it works out.”

  “Me, too,” Terian said. “Let’s get going.”

  * * * *

  The next day, Tuesday, I called Dr. Camlyn, and explained the fertility spell situation to him. “Does that make a difference in how early you can test me?”

  “Yes. I can test you in a week and a half,” Stephen replied. “Have you had any other symptoms?”

  “No, I haven’t been sick or anything.”