For the Love of Gracie (The Southern Devotion Series)

by McClung, Amy

  The voice on the other line asked, "Gracie Walker?"

  I replied, "Yes, that’s me."

  The voice said, "I'm calling from Baptist Hospital, we have your test results.”

  The next words stopped my heart completely. "Your tests came back clean. There was one positive though. You're pregnant. I hope this is happy news."

  All I could say was, "Thanks."

  Ash moved to my side. "What is it, Gracie?"

  I handed him back the charm bracelet. "You don’t want me to have this…I'm tainted. There is no happily ever after for me."

  I couldn’t think straight, so I turned and ran. I didn’t know where I was running or why. I needed to get away from Ashton, my happiness. I wasn’t destined for happiness; that was becoming abundantly clear. Each time I felt like my life was turning around, another obstacle stood in the way.

  He ran after me, calling my name. He was getting closer. I tried to run faster, but my legs buckled beneath me and I tumbled to the ground. I felt him pull me into his chest before I began to sob.

  He didn’t ask me what was wrong. We sat in the grass wrapped together. He enveloped me in a safety that no one else could offer. The world around us disappeared as he held me.

  Ashton's thumb tilted my chin up. "Are you ready to tell me what that call was about?"

  I shook my head.

  He kissed my cheek. "Okay, whenever you're ready. Whatever it was though, you still need this."

  He lifted my hand, slid the bracelet onto my wrist and kissed my knuckles.

  It didn’t make sense to keep this from him, I blurted out, "I'm pregnant."

  He sighed. "Thank goodness."

  My head whipped up in shock. "What?"

  He clarified, "I'm sorry, the scenarios in my head were so much worse than that. You can't blame the baby for who the father is. It seems too early to be from the rape."

  I nodded. "It ties me to Hudson, though."

  Ashton argued, "Not necessarily. He doesn’t have to know. He doesn’t seem like the fatherly type to me. Ultimately, it's your decision on what you do. The only thing I will say is that it changes nothing about my feelings for you. I love kids."

  I pinched my arm and cringed at the pain. "Ouch."

  His face scrunched up. "Why did you do that?"

  I shrugged and said, "I figured this must be a dream."

  He smiled and kissed my cheek. "Nope, baby. Not a dream."

  I took a deep breath. "Take me to the police station. I need to put him away."

  He helped me stand and we brushed the grass off our clothes. We strolled through the park, holding hands, on our way back to where we'd parked his bike.

  Chapter Fifteen

  When we arrived at the police station they sent me to a room to speak with an officer and give my statement. They recorded the details of what happened to me. I had to be concise. There were a few things Ash didn’t know about.

  When I got to the really rough parts, he squeezed my hand. I watched the pain roll over his face. It was difficult for me to describe things such as the way Hudson placed his hand over my mouth so I couldn’t scream. How he yanked a large chunk of my hair out when he grabbed my hair and knocked me to the ground. I allowed the officer to take pictures of it. Ashton hadn't seen it because I was able to cover it by putting my hair up.

  The officer stopped at one point with tears in her eyes. She walked over and hugged me tightly. "You're very brave for coming in here."

  Ashton placed his hand on my shoulder. "She definitely is."

  He shook the officer's hand before we left. She stated that she would file the report and they would call me to follow up.

  My phone had three texts. Cameron sent two, asking where I was, and Angel sent one, asking if everything was okay. I texted them both back that things were fine. Ashton drove us back to the house. When we arrived, everyone was waiting in the living room.

  Cameron rushed to me, but he stopped before touching me. Normally, he would wrap me in a hug and give me a kiss. I didn’t like that our routine was changed. To lighten the moment, I held my arms out and said, "Where's the love, Cam?"

  He grinned and lifted me in a hug. I cringed a bit at the touch, but didn’t show it so that he'd be happy. When he sat me down, Ash let out a breath of relief. Cameron turned to Ash and held his arms out, "I'll be glad to give you some loving too big man."

  Ash chuckled. "I'm good."

  Someone knocked on the door, and I backed myself into the corner shaking like a leaf. Ashton went to answer it. Before he opened it, he pointed at Cameron. "Go to her, please."

  Cameron saw me cowering in the corner, his face drooped. Angel, Cameron, and Mary Jane stood around me in a protective stance.

  Ashton took a deep breath and opened the door, he exhaled at once. "Shit, man. I'm glad to see you." Gavin stepped inside and hugged him.

  I felt embarrassed at freaking out. I excused myself to go upstairs. Ashton followed, but I turned and said, "I need to be alone for a bit."

  He nodded, though I could tell he was hurt.

  I felt him watch me as I walked up the stairs. When I reached the top, I turned and he seemed embarrassed to have been caught. I blew him a kiss and he relaxed and smiled up at me. There were a lot of things I needed to mull over in my mind. I ached to have Ash with me, though these decisions were ones I needed to make on my own.

  My body didn’t feel like my own anymore. Normal movements felt forced, I never knew how I would react to things like a simple knock on the door. The terror I felt at that moment shocked me to my core.

  Then there was the other thing. My hand slid to my abdomen. Inside me was this small child who had done nothing wrong, yet I was trying to decide whether to allow it live or not. It wasn't fair I had to make this choice. If this was Ash's baby, I'd be shocked, but excited.

  Was it fair to blame the baby for the choices I had made? Was it fair for me to have to raise this baby who might look exactly like Hudson, making it difficult to have a normal life?

  It seemed most of what was unfair about this was the fact that the baby may not have the best life because of my emotional distress.

  Could I give up the baby for adoption? There were so many families that wanted babies, so many women who couldn't conceive them on their own. Would I constantly worry if he or she ended up with someone abusive or unkind?

  I changed into shorts and a tank top. The bed was calling to me, and I slid into the covers and buried my face in the pillow as the tears fell. For two hours, I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore and my head ached from the physical drain.

  Downstairs, I heard laughter and music playing. I wanted to stop hurting. I wanted to have fun for a while. The comfort of my friends would make everything disappear for a while. I washed my face, brushed my hair and searched for a t-shirt to cover myself. Ashton's backpack was by the door. I rifled through it and found a t-shirt of his. I slid it on, bringing it to my nose as I took in the scent of him. I pulled on pajama pants and opened the door to go face my friends.

  "Ash?" I asked as I stepped into the hall.

  He sat with his back against the wall, his knees pulled up to his chest. His arms were crossed over his knees, his head resting on his arms. He glanced up at me.

  "How long have you been out here?" I asked.

  He stretched, stood up and said, "Since you first came up."

  My mouth gaped open briefly, "That was two hours ago."

  He shrugged. "I wanted to be here in case you needed me."

  I stepped forward, slid my hand behind his neck, pulling his mouth down to mine. He slid his tongue between my lips, I moaned low in my throat. His hands moved to my waist pulling me closer.

  The moment his lips left mine, I sighed dreamily from the memory of the kiss. He ran his thumb back and forth across my bottom lip.

  "You make my shirt look so sexy."

  Rolling up onto my tiptoes, I moved my face as close to his as I could. "You don't mind me wearing it?"

 
He closed the distance, nibbling lightly on my bottom lip. "No, it's as though I'm wrapped around your body. I love it."

  That thought, of Ashton wrapped around my body, gave me tingles.

  "Let's go downstairs. I need a distraction before we get carried away," Ashton said as he took my hand.

  Angel was giving Cameron hell over something, teasingly of course. She yelled out, "You're such a queen, Cameron!"

  He stood up and shook his finger at her. Together, he and I said, "Nuh uh, my momma is still alive, I'm a Princess. Get it right, girl."

  Cameron heard my voice echo his and he beamed up at me from his chair. He leaned his head against mine as I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

  Angel stood up, "We need more drinks!"

  Cameron held his beer bottle up and said, "Beer me!"

  Ashton disappeared into the kitchen with Angel. I joined my friends for a card game.

  The game was called Apples to Apples. The simple explanation was that the green cards contain a descriptive word with definition. The red cards contain a noun. Each player received seven red cards. There was a judge for each round who chose the green card and flipped it over. The other players decide what red card they're holding was best described by the green card. Whoever the judge chose, kept the green card and once someone reached a certain number of green cards, they won.

  It sounded boring to explain, but we had so much fun with it. It was Mary Jane's turn to judge the cards. The green card drawn was the word 'Spunky.' She shuffled through the red cards from each of us. She burst out laughing. "Gross, Cameron! I know which one is yours!"

  He grinned suspiciously.

  She laid the cards out, one at a time. The first card read, 'Hannah Montana.' The second read, 'fireworks.' The third card, which she placed strategically, slowly as she stared up at Cameron read, 'My bedroom.' It took me a moment to make the connection, and when I did, I burst out laughing and smacked Cameron's shoulder.

  "Gross!"

  He shrugged. "Don't hate the player, hate the game."

  Angel returned with drinks on a tray. She handed Cameron a beer, Mary Jane a strawberry daiquiri and Ashton handed me a pina colada. I glanced up at him wondering if he'd already forgotten I'm pregnant.

  He leaned down to kiss my cheek. His lips lingered next to my ear as he whispered, "I made it. It's a virgin colada. That way you don’t have to explain why you aren’t drinking."

  Cameron smacked Ashton's butt. "Enough whispering naughty nothings to each other. Sit down and play."

  We played Apples to Apples until we were all too drunk to concentrate. Well, I was pretending to be drunk. Ashton was tipsier than I had ever seen him. Next, they wanted to play a game of quarters. I had to draw the line.

  "You bitches are all too drunk for quarters."

  Everyone groaned, "Ah, mom, come on now!"

  I laughed, but stood firm. "Nope. Everyone to bed. Cameron, Gavin, and Ash you're all staying here tonight."

  Ashton grabbed me around the waist, pulling me down on his lap. His mouth met mine with a ferocity I hadn’t felt from him before. It scared me a little. I pushed him away gently.

  I helped Cameron to the couch and Gavin lay with him. Angel and Mary Jane helped each other upstairs. The door was wide open. I went to close it and felt arms wrap around me from behind.

  Panic and fear consumed me at once. I screamed, throwing my elbow back into the perpetrators face. He cursed out loud. I turned and Ash was on the floor holding his nose.

  "Ash!" I exclaimed as I bent to help him. I struggled to pull him into a seated position. He pulled his hand away, his face was bloody. "I'm so sorry."

  I left him there, locked the door, and ran to grab a towel. I held it to his face.

  He mumbled something incoherent. I removed the towel. He repeated, "I'm going to be sick."

  I put his arm around my shoulder in an attempt to lift him. Ashton was heavier than I could handle. He was all muscle and I could barely budge him. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a bucket. I made it back just in time to toss it in his lap, before the contents of this evening's party reappeared.

  While he got rid of all the alcohol in his system, I ran to get a wet rag. I wiped his mouth clean. He leaned against me.

  "Addy."

  It crushed my heart. I knew it shouldn’t because she was gone. It was not like competing with an ex-girlfriend that was still capable of stealing him away. Ashton deserved someone like Addy, someone that wasn’t broken in the way I was now.

  Cameron stumbled over to me. "You need help getting him upstairs?"

  I glanced up at him. "No, just help me get him to the chair. I'll get him a blanket. You're in no shape to carry him either."

  I covered Ashton with a fleece blanket and kissed his head. He looked adorable, snoring all slumped in the chair. Cameron took his place with Gavin on the couch. Once he was lying down, Gavin's arm pulled him in to snuggle.

  They made an adorable couple and I envied their snuggling ability tonight. I almost wanted to see if they would go take my room and let me get to the couch with Ashton. There was no way I'd be able to move him again, though. I sighed and went up to bed alone.

  Chapter Sixteen

  A few hours passed, I tossed and turned unable to rest. The dark was no longer a friend of mine. There were too many shadows that played tricks on my eyes. I wanted Ashton up here so I could feel safe. When I was alone I felt vulnerable and frightened. I had never been someone to be afraid of the dark, now it made me afraid of what was lurking there, waiting to hurt me again.

  The door creaked open, my anxiety heightened. I reached for the vase on the nightstand. A large intimidating shadow filled the doorway. I switched on the lamp next to the bed, blinding Ashton in the process.

  He shielded his eyes from the light. "Gracie?"

  I sighed in relief. "Ash? What are you doing up here?"

  His eyes adjusted to the light; the hurt was apparent on his face. "You don’t want me up here?"

  I pulled back the covers to invite him in. "Of course, I do. I couldn’t carry you up the stairs by myself though. I thought you'd be passed out by now."

  He slid under the covers with me. I curled up against him. He kissed my head and whispered, "I love you bug, so much."

  We fell asleep like that. I decided to wait until tomorrow to tell him about his night.

  The next morning, I woke up feeling as though I was being watched. I opened my eyes to see Ashton staring down at me as he played with my hair. He was propped up on his elbow, an adorable grin on his face.

  "Good Morning, sunshine," he said, as I rubbed my eyes to wake.

  "Morning. How do you feel?"

  His nose was bruised slightly, but not broken. His breath smelled minty fresh with mouthwash. He cringed. "A little rough. I don’t usually let myself get so drunk. I'm sorry. What happened to my nose?" he asked as he rubbed it with his thumb.

  "That's my fault. I was locking up and you came up behind me. I panicked."

  He frowned, "I'm so sorry, Gracie."

  I leaned forward and kissed his nose gently. "Why are you apologizing to me when I elbowed your nose?"

  He shrugged, "I don’t like making you feel unsafe."

  He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed it.

  "I wish you hadn’t been so drunk you couldn’t walk last night. I was hoping to take advantage of you up here."

  His eyes filled with lust as I licked my lips.

  "Ash, I'm ready." My fingernails skimmed down his chest as I pulled on his boxers, tugging him closer to me. Ashton took the hint and edged closer, shortening the space between us. His hand caressed my cheek. He licked his lips then pressed them against mine as he pulled me closer still. With my palms on his back, I massaged his muscles as our mouths melded together.

  His fingers traced the strap of my tank top. His mouth moved to my neck as he planted soft kisses on my skin.

  "Your skin tastes like caramel," he groaned. His tongue darted out m
aking tiny circles along my neck as he sucked gently, causing me to whimper. His lips caressed my skin, leading a trail to my earlobe. Flicking it with his tongue, he whispered, "Tell me if you want me to stop."

  His mouth moved along my shoulder, trailing kisses down my arm. Lifting my hand to his mouth, his tongue sampled the sensitive skin of my wrist, an erogenous zone I never knew I had, causing my ache for him to increase. No one had ever teased that part of me. The way he gazed into my eyes as his mouth moved, and the heat it caused from such a simple act, was almost unbearable. A groan escaped my lips.

  He kept his focus on me as his hands slid inside my top. He lifted the hem of my shirt exposing my skin, inch by inch. He moved down the bed.

  I felt the moisture of his lips as they pressed against my stomach, his mouth tasting my skin as he moved the shirt further up. My body arched at the excitement he was causing as his thumbs gently rubbed the underside of my breasts. He lifted the top over my head and tossed it across the room. His eyes were filled with desire as he memorized my body. His masculine hands felt rough against my soft skin as he massaged my breasts gently.

  His head dipped down, his tongue flicked at my nipple making me squirm with pleasure. Ashton's hand trailed down my stomach and dipped into the waistband of my pants. I whimpered as his fingers snaked under the edge of my panties. He pulled away, looking at me for an answer of what to do.

  "Don't stop, please," I begged.

  His hand continued below my panty line. His fingers found the spot that let him know instantly how much I wanted him. He kept his hand moving at a steady pace to my breathing. He moved his mouth to my mine, dipping his tongue between my lips at the same time his fingers slipped inside me.

  I gasped.

  He pulled back. "Too much?"

  I shook my head, no. With a seductive breath, I said, "I want to feel you inside me, Ash. Make love to me, please."

  He stopped, glanced into my eyes and said, "We shouldn’t. I don’t want to hurt you."

  I slid my pants off, panties too. I was fully exposed to him now. His eyes danced over my body with yearning.