When We Were 8

by catt dahman

  Theirs was mostly small talk, but it caught Jill unprepared. “You’re still the only high school girl I know with a cabin of her own. Can you take friends up there?”

  There had always been friends at the cabin together. Eight of them. Would the other girls think about taking boyfriends up there? One day, would it be husbands and their children? She would have to give her friends and the cabin up or plan never to marry and have a family, she thought, because there was no way she would let children go to a place where death had taken place. Where there had been accidents.

  Anyone who truly loved children would never want them at the cabin around the blood-tainted woods and waters, where bones moldered in the soil, and where it was acceptable to allow the bad feelings to run wild. Yet, Uncle Mike had not only allowed the girls there, but also had taken them there. Together. They were his protégées, his own legacy.

  Frightening how a legacy could be so chilling, but then most weren’t born of rotting flesh.

  While Jill had terrible thoughts and worried about her own legacy, she did have a great time as she got to know Charlie and received his attention. He was sometimes funny, at other times a deep thinker, but then he was also willing to try new things, do things that were silly, and being creative when he asked her for dates.

  Even a walk was interesting with Charlie as Jill found normal life, life outside of secrets and something to share with seven other girls, enjoyable. She relaxed and felt some pressure lifted.

  For weeks, it was akin to a close friendship with a boy, or rather, they became close as they talked, went places, or just hung out. He was good with her seven best friends and was playful and polite, but never crossed a wrong line with them.

  They liked him, and he sometimes ran track with Whitney, studied with Nelwynn, and listened to Tiffany and Samantha instead of ogling them, and a few times, he warned a few kids to stop teasing Angel about her weight.

  He had a cousin send him a tape of the majorettes’ routines up north so that Meg and she could learn a few tricks from it. He brought Cassie a stray kitten he found for her to care for.

  He never pushed Jill’s friends, but he always seemed to do something kind for one or the other of them because he was that to everyone he met. Best of all, he treated Jill well, and her friends cared the most about that.

  Their romantic side of the relationship began slowly, and Charlie never pushed Jill, always following her lead as to her openness. When she made out with him the first time, her mind raced with the thought that if he pushed her and took advantage, he might wind up somewhere along the cabin grounds or in the river.

  She jumped away.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It isn’t you. I had a friend who was raped once, and I guess it makes me scared at times. I need to go slow if that’s okay.”

  Charlie smiled and said, “I can wait. I wasn’t exactly planning anything anyway.”

  Jill blushed that she thought he wanted more than a few kisses.

  It scared her to think of what could happen, it gave her some type of odd comfort, and it haunted her at the same time. She forced herself to stop worrying about that possibility, and fortunately, Charlie was a gentleman. She decided she cared a lot for him and didn’t see how anything bad could happen to him; she was safe and, therefore, he was safe.

  At the end of March, Charlie invited Jill to the senior prom, and she accepted, thrilled. She was a little nervous that he might not ask her, and he admitted later that he had put it off for weeks because he was nervous about asking her.

  A week later, she slipped his class ring on her index finger, the band wrapped in ribbon as a sign they were going steady. He took the plunge after a slightly heavier make-out session at the park and asked her to go steady with him. Jill took the class ring as a sign they were getting more serious.

  Finals caused the girls stress but were ultimately finished and grades were sorted out for graduation, and the girls breathed a little easier. All passed but admitted it had taken serious study dates and long hours of cramming. The year wound to a close, and as with most young people, it was the end of one part of their lives and the beginning of another. Only one more big deal was left before they were graduates.

  Chapter 11

  The prom was beautiful, and some of the girls showed up with dates. Jill wore a classic, sleek black gown, and Charlie wore a black tux; they looked elegant, but Jill could hardly sit down in her satin dress because it was so form fitting. Her friends teased her for making the choice to wear such a tight dress, but the way Charlie’s eyes lit up when he saw her was worth her discomfort.

  Tiffany wore her signature color, violet, which matched her eyes; her dress was flowing and light but cut low to show off her tanned skin.

  Her date was a boy from college whom she had dated a few times, but she secretly made it clear to everyone that her relationship was nothing serious and the boy was there only because he was older, handsome, and a great dancer. She dragged him around like a dog on her leash and garnered envious looks from other girls for having landed such an attractive date.

  Tiffany, although always popular and pretty, was actually beautiful that night and she was simply a late bloomer and a fortunate girl in that as she aged, she would become more beautiful. Any of her baby fat and cuteness was melting away as she grew older since her cheekbones became more defined and her legs looked less coltish.

  Samantha, in a pale blue, vintage-looking, short dress with a low-cut bodice and empire waist, was announced midway through the prom as prom queen, and she blushed and glanced at Tiffany who had been homecoming queen that year. Her friend beamed and sincerely congratulated her, making Samantha doubly glad she won.

  Tiffany said the prom queen should be the most beautiful of all. Besides, Samantha’s date was the school’s quarterback and prom king, so it was perfect as they danced the spotlight dance and looked like movie stars.

  Excited for Samantha, Whitney and Meg clapped until their hands ached. Meg was in green ruffles to show off her titian hair, and she was with a boy she considered a good friend but that she would probably sleep with after the prom festivities, her friends figured. Meg was always a little too easy when it came to dating, claiming that was the only way she knew to keep a boy.

  Whitney attended the prom alone after politely turning down a half dozen invitations, daring tradition as she showed up in a white blouse and flowing black pants that were so full they looked as if she were wearing a dress. She was asked to dance each time a song came on, and because she was in comfortable clothing, she showed off her natural grace and skill at dancing.

  Jill laughed as she watched Whitney go from a slow song to a vintage disco dance that made everyone else stop and move to the side to watch; Whitney was quirky and rhythmic enough to make her dance sexy and smart at the same time.

  Jill and Charlie applauded when it was finished. “Are you having fun?” Jill asked Cassie.

  “I really am,” Cassie said. She had danced several times with some of the boys who were alone, and once with Charlie whom she thought was a great catch for Jill.

  For two years, Cassie had saved every penny she could, and this night, she hadn’t needed anything that Tiffany would have been glad to give her to wear. Tonight, Cassie wore a dress that she had bought brand new: a white gown with a silver sequined, sleeveless top and a skirt that floated around her. All seven of her friends claimed that by far, she was the best dressed of any girl at the prom; her dress was something from a fairy tale.

  Tiffany had helped her fix her hair, pulling it up, and she had applied a little makeup to Cassie’s face. Cassie was blooming late, and the dress made her grey eyes sparkle; everyone was shocked at how pretty she looked; she was only glad she hadn’t embarrassed her best friends by looking dumpy. She would never be a beauty, but the dress made her seem as if she were one for one night.

  Angel wore red, Nelwynn wore pink, and both had come to the prom without dates, but were enjoying themselves fully. They lau
ghed and danced often as they both made the rounds to visit with their classmates.

  After an hour, Jill noticed that both Nelwynn and Angel were still missing from their gigantic table where they all sat, complimenting other girls on their dresses, sometimes making catty remarks about some couples or about the other girls, and snickering a lot as they cooled off between dances.

  “Girl’s room,” Jill said as she stood. Cassie jumped to her feet and said she’d go with Jill and left instructions that the rest had to update them about any good dances that Whitney was a part of.

  While they washed their hands, Jill smiled and said, “You do look gorgeous.”

  “You, too. Every penny I saved…this dress was worth it. I’ll keep it in my cedar chest and never forget this night,” Cassie swore. “I feel like a princess.”

  “Let’s get a picture of you wearing Sam’s prom queen crown so we can look back and say you were a princess.”

  “That would make my night.”

  “Where are Angel and Nelwynn?” Jill asked. She was going to suggest that they search for them, but there was noise down one of the short hallways: boys were laughing and hooting and above the laughter, a female was yelling. “Is that Angel?”

  Cassie and Jill pushed past several boys and girls and saw two boys she knew. They were both loud, obnoxious jerks, and class clowns named Reggie and Andre. Both were laughing and pointing as they fired back heated remarks with Angel.

  Angel and Nelwynn stood at the end of the little hallway, their backs almost against the wall. While Nelwynn cringed and tears streaked her face as her mascara ran, Angel railed back at the boys, her face bright red.

  “What’s going on?” Cassie demanded.

  “They was kissing,” a girl name Julie responded. “They’re gay. Gay girls. Lezzies. Gross.”

  “Ho, ho, ho,” laughed Reggie. “I like some girl on girl action to watch, but usually them girls is fine as hell. Here we got a fatty and a butt-ugly brainiac. Kissin’. That’s just nasty.”

  “Leave them alone. Just back off,” said Cassie as she took Angel’s arm to pull her away, and Jill hugged Nelwynn and pushed past the two boys and Julie who was the loudest.

  Jill felt one of them grab her shoulder, and she used a backhand to slap whomever it was trying to grab her and keep them from leaving. “Touch me again, and I’ll hit you for real,” Jill said.

  Some of the kids backed up, so they blocked the door to the restroom. Cassie knew it would be a fight to get inside, and the idea of being trapped there was unpleasant. She marched Angel along with her and hoped that Jill and Nelwynn were close behind.

  Reggie still made loud, crude comments and dodged and ducked, showing off the same skill he used on the basketball court, not only keeping up with Cassie, but also flanking her. Andre and Julie stayed close, calling out nasty names and terms.

  As they passed the tables of punch, cookies, and treats, Cassie realized she and Angel were about to be pinned again and would be where Reggie and his friends could once again begin the taunts. The chaperones would intervene but not before Angel and Nelwynn would be called names and humiliated again in front of everyone.

  Cassie pushed Angel along with Jill and Nelwynn and used herself as a diversion, facing Reggie and moving in a way that mirrored his actions, in effect blocking his advance.

  “Why’re you hanging with lezzies, Cas?” Reggie asked. “You like girls, too?”

  “I like anyone better than I do you.”

  “Too much a whore to be a lezzy? Can lezzies be whores, Cas?”

  Cassie turned back to Reggie. Jill, Nelwynn, and Angel were with their friends, and Charlie and the other dates were listening, catching up, and heading over. She had back up coming, but she felt years of resentment rising from her like hot vomit that needed to be released.

  For years, Reggie, Andre, and Julie had taunted Cassie, only backing off the last two years or so to make quiet remarks and snicker as she walked past.

  “White trash,” Julie muttered. It was something Cassie had heard for her entire life.

  “Is that a thrift shop reject dress, Cassie?” Reggie asked. His friends howled with laughter.

  All the years of being poor hit Cassie. She was rich in friends and had a good wardrobe, but she still lived in a rickety mobile home where she could never host sleepovers. Her mom cleaned houses for slave wages, and sometimes there wasn’t quite enough to eat. Her family didn’t take charity except the clothing that Tiffany shared over the years, and those things had almost been salvation instead of pure charity.

  Her beautiful dress. He was mocking it.

  Reggie, who never appreciated the excess that his family had, was poking fun at her pretty dress, the only thing she had ever bought by herself and which she was proud of.

  “At least my mama isn’t down to the bar in the men’s room on her knees,” Cassie spat. It was an old story that went through the school gossip mill the year before, but Reggie’s dark face went pale, and his eyes filled with fury. Only his strict athletic discipline kept him from grabbing Cassie.

  She turned away.

  “Cassie?”

  She turned back. Maybe she was going to apologize. She hadn’t meant to say what she did and already regretted it. Reggie’s face wasn’t as angry as she expected, and he looked defeated, but he wasn’t finished.

  He hauled back his arm, holding something he had grabbed from the table of snacks, something he had taken at random. He hurled it.

  There wasn’t much power in his toss, and the object caught Cassie right in the crotch, leaving a crimson stain on her white dress. She thought of a scary book she liked in which the main character was drenched in pig’s blood at her own prom. It wasn’t that, of course, but the cake’s bright red icing made it look as if Cassie had started her period, reminding her of a second scene in the same book.

  There were some kids who laughed, but most turned away as they saw the way Cassie looked down at her ruined dress. Reggie looked apologetic.

  At best, there would be a huge pink stain left forever, but Cassie didn’t cry or scream. She looked at the icing and sadly turned to Reggie. “I’m not the girl in the book. I’m Cassie. Cass-ie.” Her eyes filled with tears of anger.

  “Hey…I….”

  Cassie only stared at Reggie. “Just wait. You just wait. I’m not done with you. Payback is a bitch, and so am I.”

  Chapter 12

  The girls left the prom with Cassie sobbing and crying over her dress; Jill told Charlie that she couldn’t spend the night with him for the first time as they had planned, but instead, she had to console her friend. He wasn’t thrilled but accepted her decision. She couldn’t leave Cassie alone to cry.

  Meg took Angel with her because for some reason, Angel and Nelwynn were no longer speaking and blamed one another for being caught in the hallway. The anger between Nelwynn and Angel was strange, but each was humiliated and beyond logical reasoning.

  Whitney took Nelwynn with her. It wasn’t as each had planned, but it was how life was: unexpected, sometimes traumatic, and often very confusing.

  Jill spent half the night trying to reason with Cassie and calm her, but Cassie was inconsolable, making threats against Reggie, Andre, and Julie between outbursts of tears over her dress. Jill’s mother used something to try to save the dress, but the pink stain was prominent, unlikely to fade, and a stab to Cassie’s heart.

  “Promise me that you won’t do anything,” Jill begged.

  “I can’t. Who knows what can happen one day? I can’t promise that one day, ten years from now, if Reggie chokes on his pork chop at the diner where I’ll be working, I’ll give him CPR.”

  Jill rolled her eyes at Cassie’s attempt at humor and diversion. “We have the cabin on Sunday, and I can’t get there until later in the weekend, but I don’t want to find that you’ve done something you can’t take back when I get there.”

  “To Reggie?” asked Cassie

  “Yeah,” said Jill

  Cassie s
niffed and wiped her nose on a tissue. “I promise I won’t do a thing to him at the cabin this week. Honestly, Whitney has a lot of plans already, and I’m not going to screw up what she wants to do.”

  “Okay. Good. I trust you. I will make sure that Reggie is okay before we drive up there,” Jill threatened Cassie with a smile. A niggling thought rose in her mind as she wondered what Whitney had planned that was important because she was unaware of anything. She wanted to ask about that, but the day had been long and ended with extreme stress, and Jill fell asleep before she could question Cassie.

  She would regret that for a long time.

  Chapter 13

  Cassie was glad that Jill went to sleep quickly and slept after taking some aspirin for her aching head, and Cassie was glad that she was awake the next morning before Jill. Whitney, Nelwynn, Meg, and she left early for the cabin, zooming over in Meg’s new car, a graduation gift from her parents.

  Jill and Tiffany went to the cabin Sunday afternoon, and they took Samantha and Angel with them.

  “Please don’t fight with Nelwynn again. Angel, you have to be the hero here and let this settle, or you’ll cause Cassie to get upset all over again,” Tiffany warned again as they pulled into the rocky drive. It was the first time she had been able to talk over the loud radio music Jill played during the drive.

  “Whatever. She started this…if she hadn’t insisted….”

  “Stop. Please. It’s difficult enough to be here knowing how sick Uncle Mike is,” Tiffany demanded. She followed the other girls to the cabin’s door.

  Samantha stretched and opened the door to the cabin, familiar and soothing to her. “Daddy says this is it for MIke. He’s not going to get better this time.”

  “I can’t imagine him being gone,” Angel said.

  Jill shook her head, “Dad says Lucy isn’t doing well either. He says that she knows Uncle Mike is dying, and she’s so old….”