Face in the Frame

by Heather Atkinson

“It’s probably wind,” said Pete dismissively, earning himself a full-on Brodie glare.

  “Will you listen to me? Fred said someone wanted his face, he was scared. He described this person as the devil…”

  “You’re lucky he didn’t say they were Nessie or Elvis. For Christ’s sake Brodie, he was a loon.”

  “It doesn’t mean he was wrong about this.”

  “I think you’re way off here.”

  “Then where’s Fred gone? He doesn’t move for years then suddenly someone comes along who says he wants his face, he disappears and his face ends up in a museum exhibition.”

  “You’ve actually seen his face on a wall?”

  “Aye, in Lucas Thorne’s new exhibition. Don’t you think that’s a coincidence? I know you don’t like coincidences.”

  “You’re right, I don’t but Thorne is more than likely telling the truth. He paid Fred for a cast from his face.”

  “Then why has he disappeared?”

  “Maybe he was flashing the cash he got paid and someone decided they wanted it?”

  Brodie folded his arms across his chest and scowled. “You come up with some stupid theories sometimes.”

  Pete sighed and shook his head. “I’ll get my people to keep an eye out for Fred. We’ll find him.”

  “No you won’t, Lucas is too smart.”

  “You’re not letting this one go, are you?”

  “Not until I know Cass is safe.”

  “Hold on a minute, if you’re against her dating this Lucas bloke then why did she look so happy?”

  “She thinks I’m okay with it, although I’ve told her I want to meet him.”

  “The poor bastard’s in for a treat,” he grinned.

  “If I fight her over this she’ll only dig her heels in and I’ll push her into his arms. This way I get to keep my eye on her.”

  “This must be torture for you - her mooning over some artist you think likes killing old jakeys and having to pretend you’re okay with it?”

  “It is torture but I won’t let her down.”

  Pete smiled and shook his head. “You’re a daftie.”

  “Me?” he exclaimed, pointing to his own chest. “How do you work that one out?”

  “Because anyone else would think Lucas’s explanation made sense and let it go. They’d also realise their crush on their second-in-command was hopeless and move on and find himself some nice wee woman.”

  “Don’t start that again. Why are you here anyway?”

  “Just passing. Wish I’d not bothered now you miserable sod. Can I be there when you meet Lucas?”

  “Why?”

  “It’ll be a laugh.”

  “Aren’t you a super busy detective inspector?”

  “It’s my day off.”

  “Days off in your line of work are as rare as rocking horse shit. Don’t tell me you’ve nothing better to do than hang around here giving me crap advice?”

  “It‘s true, I don’t,” he said cheerily, helping himself to a doughnut. “Let’s check out Lucas Thorne then we can go get a beer and something to eat.”

  “You asking me out on a date?”

  “Someone should, it’s been ages. Last time you had a date condoms were still made out of sheep intestines.”

  “Remind me again why your missus divorced you.”

  “Because she’s the dragon queen from hell. Come on, let’s meet this Lucas Thorne. Wouldn’t you love a third party’s opinion on him?”

  “Aye, that would be good actually. Will you run a check on him for me, see if he’s got a criminal record?”

  “No.”

  “How no?”

  “Because I’ve no cause to and don’t forget these things can be traced back to me.”

  “What if I gave you reason to?”

  “Then I would but first I want proof that he’s dodgy.”

  “Fine,” he sighed. “Let’s go get some proof then.”

  “Do you know where he is?”

  “I’ve got Laurel and Hardy keeping an eye out,” Brodie said, taking out his phone. “Ross, where is he?” He sighed and rolled his eyes. “Lucas Thorne, who do you think I mean, Jeremy bloody Kyle?”

  Pete bit into the doughnut, chuckling to himself.

  “Right, good. I’m on my way with Pete. When we get there you can take a break.”

  “Are we on?” said Pete when he hung up.

  “We are. Thorne’s at a café not far from here, drinking a latte and eating a custard tart, the ponce.” He hesitated before making another call. After spitting some threats down the phone the reluctant and unlucky recipient of his invitation for coffee agreed to meet up. Next he made a third call to someone much less reluctant, especially after he told them how much they’d get paid.

  “Who was that?”

  “A surprise for Lucas Thorne.”

  “I’m intrigued. Sure you’re not letting your feelings for Cass cloud your judgement on this one?” said Pete as they jogged downstairs and out the door.

  “It’s not just that. My gut’s telling me something’s wrong.”

  “Like I said, it’s probably wind. You’re full of it.”

  Brodie hesitated by his car door. “Are you wantin’ to walk?”

  “I’m kidding,” grinned Pete, jumping into the passenger seat.

  Brodie scowled at him before climbing into the driver’s seat, Pete sniggering when it took him three goes to get the door to shut.

  “When are you going to buy yourself a decent motor?” said Pete, regarding the interior of Brodie’s knackered old blue Astra with distaste, the footwell full of rubbish. “It’s not like you don’t have the cash, you’re raking it in.”

  “Don’t start, you sound like Cass.”

  “Then why don’t you listen to us?”

  “Because I like this old girl.”

  “Because you’re an old man?”

  “You’re on fucking form today,” he muttered as he started the engine. “Is this what you like to do on your precious days off, piss me off?”

  “It is a hobby of mine,” he said happily, looking out of the window. “Careful, you’re nearly going over the speed limit. You don’t want me to nick you, do you?”

  “Since when do detective inspectors arrest people for speeding?”

  “It’s my day off, it would be fun.”

  “This might be a laugh to you but I’m working.”

  “Has someone asked you to investigate Lucas Thorne, apart from your gut?”

  “No but…oh shut it Pete.”

  Pete grinned.

  When they pulled up ten minutes later a few doors down from the café Lucas was in, Brodie took out his phone and called Ross back. He hung up and turned to Pete.

  “Ross says he’s still in there so let’s move.”

  “So what exactly are we going to do?” said Pete as they meandered down the street, watching Christian and Ross drive away in the latter’s silver Ford.

  “Just meet him, that’s all.”

  “And you’re going to take it easy and be the essence of cool and calm, aren’t you?”

  “You warning me?”

  “Aye I am. I know how hot headed you can be.”

  “Me? Never.”

  “That’s a load of bollocks.” Unfortunately Pete uttered this sentence just as they entered the café and everyone stopped to look at him, including Lucas Thorne. “Sorry,” he blushed.

  “I should have left you in the car,” sighed Brodie. “You and your wig.”

  “It’s not a wig,” hissed Pete.

  As they took a seat at a table by the door, the only one left, everyone returned to what they were doing, paying them no more mind.

  “Which one is he?” said Pete, perusing the menu.

  “Table back left corner of the room,” replied Brodie.

  Pete’s head never moved as his eyes flicked up to Lucas then back down to the menu. “Looks like an elf.”

  Brodie sniggered into his menu. “That’s fucking priceless pal
. I’m glad I brought you along now.”

  “Glad I could help. So how are you going to meet him? Wander over there and say hello big boy, come here often?”

  Brodie’s gaze was cold. “No.”

  “You’d better be quick, he’s eaten his custard and he doesn’t look to have much coffee left.”

  “Watch me work,” said Brodie, getting to his feet.

  “Hold on, what do you want to order?”

  “Anything. Coffee.”

  “And something to eat?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What?”

  “Anything.”

  “Can’t you be more specific?”

  “For Christ’s sake I’m trying to work here. I don’t care, just get me anything.”

  “Alright but don’t blame me if you don’t like it.”

  “I won’t,” Brodie mumbled as he walked away, heading towards the toilets, going the long way round so he had to pass Lucas’s table. To Brodie’s satisfaction Lucas had his mobile phone out on the table beside his newspaper.

  Just as he reached his mark Brodie covertly dropped a fiver on the floor. He made a show of stopping and looking down at it before scooping it up. “Is this yours pal?” he said, holding the crumpled fiver out to Lucas.

  “No, it’s not,” he politely replied.

  Brodie frowned at him. “You look familiar. Have we met before?” He cringed at the way the words came out, it sounded like he was hitting on him.

  “No, I don’t think so.”

  Brodie couldn’t help but stare at his eyes, they were weird but he could imagine women falling for them, especially Cass, she was a sucker for a pair of unusual eyes.

  “Can I help you with something?” said Lucas uncertainly when Brodie continued to stare at him.

  “I’m just trying to figure out where I know you from. Are you famous or something?”

  “I’m an artist,” he replied modestly.

  “Aye that’s right. The heids.”

  “The what?”

  “The faces. I read about them in the paper. That was you, wasn’t it?”

  “Yes it was.”

  At that point his little surprise for Lucas Thorne sashayed past, wriggling her backside for all she was worth and giving him the glad eye.

  “Nice,” commented Brodie. “She likes you.”

  Lucas shrugged. “She can like all she wants. I’m seeing someone and she puts her in the shade. Now if you’ll excuse me,” he said, returning to his newspaper.

  When it became clear Lucas wasn’t going to interact anymore Brodie was left with no choice but to retreat to the toilet. He gave it a minute before exiting and making his way back to the table, glancing at Lucas sipping his coffee while flicking through the newspaper.

  “Well?” said Pete when Brodie returned to the table.

  “He passed my little test.”

  “I take it the test was the blond with the killer bahookie?”

  “Aye. He didn’t even react, just said he’s seeing someone who puts Kitten in the shade.”

  “Kitten, is that the blonde’s name?”

  “Yep,” replied Brodie, taking a sip of the coffee the waitress placed before him.

  “How do you know someone called Kitten?” said Pete with a smirk.

  “We go way back.”

  “She’s gorgeous, sexy. Why don’t you forget about Cass and go for Kitten instead?”

  “Because she’s married. She owed me a favour after I sorted out her nasty ex for her.”

  “So you think Lucas Thorne is alright?”

  “I never said that but he seems to like Cass and he showed no interest in Kitten. I don’t think he’d cheat on her.”

  “How terrible,” said Pete sarcastically.

  “Everyone has a flaw and I’m going to find his.”

  Pete sighed and shook his head. “You know, I wasted years of my life on her majesty the dragon queen. When I married her I knew she wasn’t really right for me, we got each other’s backs up too much. Now I can never get that time back. If Cass has met someone she really likes and who will treat her well why don’t you just leave them alone? It’s hard enough to meet the right person. If she finally has then I don’t think you should interfere with that.”

  “What a fucking soft thing to say. Did the dragon queen get your gonads in the divorce too?”

  “I’m saying if you really care about her you’ll let this go.”

  “And what if he’s a murdering psycho?”

  “What if he’s not and your interfering messes this up for her? She’ll never forgive you then you really will lose her.”

  Brodie went quiet and stared at the tabletop. “I’ll lose her anyway. He’ll whisk her away, she won’t need to work with the cash he’s got.”

  “So that’s really it.”

  “No it’s not. I honestly think he might have something to do with Fred’s disappearance.”

  “I give up,” sighed Pete, shaking his head and biting into a cookie. “You’re a stubborn bugger.”

  “I know, it’s what makes me such fascinating company,” he grinned.

  “And what if you do succeed in splitting them up, what then? You go on pretending you’re not in love with her and she’s back to being single and lonely.”

  His grin dropped. “Cass isn’t lonely.”

  “She’s pining for something, I can see it in her eyes every time I look at her. Don’t screw up something that could be good for her.”

  “Shut it you big tart,” said Brodie. He picked up his cake and frowned at it. “I hate éclairs. Why’d you get me one?”

  “Because you said to get you anything, it didn’t matter.”

  “I didn’t mean a bloody éclair. You know I don’t like them.”

  “If I did know I wouldn’t have got you one. Shut up whinging and eat, it’s only chocolate and pastry.”

  “I don’t want it,” he muttered, pushing the plate away.

  “Did anyone tell you that you’re a big baby?”

  They started to bicker then went silent when they realised they’d drawn attention to themselves again. Even Lucas was watching them with an amused smile.

  “Great, everyone thinks you’re my boyfriend now,” muttered Pete.

  “I’m way out of your league,” said Brodie as the door opened and his second accomplice walked in clutching a bag, approaching their table with his shoulders slumped.

  “Hello Weasel,” said Brodie cheerfully.

  The Weasel just gave him a withering look.

  “Is that his real name?” said Pete.

  Brodie’s smile was malicious. “Nope. It’s my nickname for him.”

  “Oh dear Weasel, what did you do to piss off Mr MacBride?” said Pete, taking in his bruised face. “What are you looking at?” he snapped when his eyes flicked up to his hair.

  “Nothing,” he hastily said.

  “It’s not important what he did,” said Brodie. “What is important is that you do your stuff Weasel.”

  He sighed again, pulled his laptop out of the bag and set it up. After a few minutes of stabbing miserably at the keyboard he leaned back in his seat. “Ready,” he muttered, folding his skinny arms across his skinny stomach. “All we need is for him to use his mobile.”

  Pete sat up straight in his seat. “Mobile?”

  Brodie’s look was withering. “You stupid Weasel.”

  “Do you seriously expect me to sit here while you hack into some poor bastard’s private accounts?” said Pete. “I’m a detective inspector for Christ’s sake.”

  “Detective inspector?” repeated the Weasel, paling.

  They both ignored him.

  “You want to protect Cass, don’t you?” said Brodie, addressing Pete.

  “Course I do but I will not sit by and watch you commit a crime.”

  “I’m not. The Weasel is.”

  “Only because you asked me to,” said the Weasel, panicking.

  “Shut up Weasel,” hissed Brodie. He turned his attent
ion back to Pete. “I’m not going to do anything with the information. I just want to make sure he’s not dodgy.”

  “The only dodgy one in here is you and this skinny wee prick,” he said.

  “Hey,” objected Weasel.

  “Listen,” pressed Brodie. “Once I know Thorne isn’t dodgy then I can let all this drop and he and Cass can live happily ever after. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

  “Yes but…”

  “All this over and done with then we can get on with our lives.”

  “Aye but…”

  “Then this is the only way. No one need ever know.”

  “I’ll know.”

  “You’ll get over it.” Brodie glanced at Lucas. “Look, he’s picking up his phone. I knew it, everyone checks their phone before walking out the door, just in case there’s some urgent last minute message. Do your stuff Weasel.”

  The Weasel looked to Pete for permission.

  “Go ahead,” sighed Pete, throwing himself back in his chair and glaring at his coffee. “But if anyone finds out I’m blaming it all on the Weasel.”

  “Fine by me,” said Brodie.

  The Weasel stared from one to the other, looking hurt. “That’s no’ fair.”

  “Life isn’t fair,” retorted Brodie. “Get on with it.”

  The Weasel jabbed at one button with a thin digit, the nail full of dirt.

  “Is that it?” said Brodie.

  “Aye. I’ve got all his information on my laptop.”

  The three of them covertly watched Lucas shove his phone into his inner jacket pocket, get to his feet, pick up his cane, dump a generous tip on the table then exit the coffee shop.

  “Well, let’s see then,” said Brodie, grabbing the laptop and turning it towards him.

  “Careful, you’ll break it,” protested the Weasel.

  “Stop it, you nearly spilt coffee over me,” said Pete, just managing to correct a falling cup at the last second before it spilt all over his legs.

  They were so engrossed in their bickering that none of them spotted Lucas Thorne frowning at them through the window as he walked by.

  “Nothing,” sighed Brodie as he trawled through all the information hacked from Lucas Thorne’s phone on the Weasel’s laptop. “Not even a dirty e-mail.”

  “There you go, he’s clean,” said a relieved Pete.

  “I don’t like it,” said Brodie. “He’s too clean. He didn’t even have any porn on there.”