by Jennie Adams
‘What are you doing, Dad? You can’t marry her! I don’t want her in our lives like that. She’s not Mum!’ The words burst out from behind them.
Jess gasped and turned.
Dan turned, too.
But Luke had already disappeared back into the house with only the thunder of his feet as he ran up the stairs echoing behind him.
‘I’ll talk to him, Jess. The two of you were getting on so much better, I thought—’
That it had all been fixed? That Luke had calmed down and now wouldn’t mind if Dan wanted to ask such a thing of Jess?
He was asking her to provide added security for his children, but to Luke that must sound as though Dan were trying to replace his mother. But Dan was very far from according Jess the place of a beloved wife in his heart.
‘What you want is a practical arrangement.’ Jess forced the words out. She made herself hold his gaze and not let him see for one moment how much his offer had built her hopes and devastated her, all at once. ‘It’s a big thing to ask and there is Luke to consider. He obviously feels passionately about this issue, maybe enough that you’ll never get him to change his mind about me. I—I’ll need time to think, and you will need to speak to him, Dan, and explain…that you don’t…love me. That it’s not about that.’
The words crushed her, but she forced them out anyway.
‘I know you need time, Jess, and I will speak to Luke.’ Dan drew a breath. ‘It is a big issue for all concerned but it is an arrangement I believe could be helpful to all of us.’
It was bigger than Dan could know, because Jess loved him. All that he’d said was true, but there was one key thing that he didn’t understand. While he would be trying to be a good husband and feeling affection for her, Jess would be madly and deeply in love with him.
That wasn’t an even situation, and Jess didn’t know if she could take it on. Security for her and Ella, yes, that was a factor that mattered to her and she appreciated Dan was trying to offer something that would benefit everyone. How could she say no when he needed this to feel safe, and to make sure his children were safe?
Jess loved all of them, prickly Luke included, though obviously she loved Dan very differently.
Heart, soul, mind, body and spirit.
The words pushed through her, came from deep inside her. And suddenly she couldn’t stand here any longer, looking into his eyes and…loving him with everything she had. ‘I—I need to go to bed, Dan. I’ll think, and you might change your mind once you speak to Luke—’
‘It won’t happen, Jess.’
Because there was no comparison to Rebecca, and Dan would help his son understand that?
Jess whirled away before he could see the emotions on her face. She got to her bedroom, closed the door, and then and only then did she allow all of what she was feeling to come.
Jess was being offered what her heart most desired, a future with Dan, but without the love. With Ella’s father, she might have made a huge mistake in trusting him, but at least in the beginning she had truly believed she loved him. That love hadn’t been returned in the same measure, any more than Dan’s would be.
Dan should be asking Jess to marry him because he loved her. She had a right to expect that. But it was still true that it would solve problems for both of them.
And just to confuse things for her further, Jess now had Ella’s grandparents, who wanted to be part of her daughter’s life.
Which was truly wonderful.
It was, but where did this all leave Jess?
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
‘AND SO YOU SEE, DEAR, Lang Fielder was planning the whole time to get your property off you cheaply. He intended to knock it down along with the three others he already owns in this area and have enough money to pay for the mansion he wants to build on the site.’ George Rosche was again seated in Jess’s kitchen in the cottage. ‘All it took was for him to move into that position at the council and get control of the situation with the notices about the back rates on your home.’
Dalia sat beside George.
Ella was tottering about the kitchen showing off her new walking skills to both grandparents.
And Jess was sitting like a stunned fish, trying to comprehend what had just been said to her.
George and Dalia had phoned and asked her to see them urgently. Dan was well enough for Jess to decide to meet them here at her cottage. Maybe while she was absent Dan would take the chance to speak to Luke about asking Jess to marry him.
‘Jess, the man had no right to let that situation go for the length of time that he did and not inform you of what was happening. He had his own agenda from the start.’ Dalia’s fury on Jess’s behalf warmed her heart.
Dalia glanced at her husband and said in a rush, ‘Well, it made us cross and I do hope you understand, dear. We’re Ella’s grandparents and it’s clear to us that you’re a very special girl. You shouldn’t have been treated the way you were by our son.’
‘Just tell her,’ George put in.
Dalia drew a breath. ‘We paid off the back rates and interest so that nasty man couldn’t go ahead with his plans. The auction is cancelled. The cottage is yours now fair and square.’
‘We could easily afford it, so don’t worry about that.’ George nodded. ‘But you should still bring this man’s actions to the attention of council’s management. He should be sacked for such underhanded dealings. We’ll be more than happy to help you with that, if you want.’ He made a hurrumph of sound. ‘It will serve the man right, too.’
‘The times that I went to the council and had to practically beg to see him, and he encouraged me to pay what I could off the debt knowing that he planned to buy the cottage out from under me for practically nothing.’ Jess spoke the words in shock and anger. ‘I will speak to management at the council.’
She searched both their faces before she added almost uncertainly, ‘If you really wouldn’t mind, the added support while I do that—’
‘We would like to help you.’ George said it quietly but his expression was completely sincere.
Jess almost didn’t know how to respond to their supportiveness. She was used to standing alone, to having no choice but to make her own way, her own decisions. What would it be like if she married Dan? Would he be planning for them to support one another in that way? Could Jess live with that, a gift of support but no love?
She needed to figure out the answer.
But first she had to deal with this. And as that thought came Jess fully comprehended what the couple had done. ‘George, Dalia, thank you for what you’ve done for me.’ They’d been so generous! ‘I—I’ll need to pay that money back to you. It’s yours and in the end you don’t owe me anything.’
‘We know that’s how you feel about us, dear.’ Dalia leaned forward to pat Jess’s hand where it rested on the table. ‘But you were struggling, and that situation wasn’t right. It wasn’t a difficult thing for us. Please, just accept it? There are no strings attached of any kind. We don’t want you to feel pressured, even to let us be part of Ella’s and your life, though we would really love that. Peter is our only child and, well, we never thought there’d be a grandchild or a lovely young woman who is her mother.’
They talked for a while longer. And Jess did accept the gift, but more importantly made it very clear that she welcomed their involvement in Ella’s life and always would. She swallowed. ‘Family isn’t something that I’ve had much of for myself and if Ella can have that with you, and a little for me too, well, I want it.’
With that decided, George asked if it might not be best to go to the council now and confront the issue of Lang Fielder’s behaviour.
Jess drew a deep breath and nodded. This had to be done and the sooner the better. They took separate cars and made their way there. When the clerk tried to refuse to allow them to see the manager, Jess threw her shoulders back. ‘We’re not leaving until this is done.’
They were ushered into the manager’s office. Jess drew a deep bre
ath and explained the situation. The manager was clearly shocked and blustered somewhat. Jess stuck her chin out. ‘I want you to call Lang Fielder in here. Ask him what he was planning to do and how he intended to go about it.’
The manager took the time to access council records before he called the other man in. Once he did, he spread out the evidence before him and looked at Lang. ‘I thought I knew you, Fielder, but clearly I didn’t. If this is the kind of illegal activity you can carry on in your place of work, I want no part of you. Your position here is terminated, effective immediately.’
‘You can’t do that. I’ll file a complaint—’
‘And while you’re doing that, I’ll be investigating every other matter that you’ve handled since you started work here.’ The manager stared Lang down. ‘You should hope there won’t be formal charges either from the council or from Miss Baker.’
Lang glared back, and after a long moment he stalked to the office door and yanked it open. ‘You haven’t heard the end of this.’
It was an empty threat and the manager said as much once he closed the door behind Lang and phoned through to staff to let them know the situation so they could see Lang safely off the premises.
The manager shook his head, apologised again to Jess, and after some further discussion in which he assured her the issue would be fully dealt with they were ushered out.
‘Thank you.’ As they stood outside Jess impulsively hugged the older couple.
George and Dalia said their goodbyes and left. Jess put Ella into the car and drove to Dan’s.
She now truly owned her cottage and it couldn’t be taken from her. There was security in that, and kindness from Ella’s grandparents. More than that, they wanted to be part of Ella’s life and they wanted to be part of Jess’s life, too.
‘Family, Ella,’ Jess murmured quietly. ‘We’ve been given some family who—really want us.’
The last words were a little choked, and Jess quickly cleared her throat. Dan had also asked her to be part of his family. She needed to give him her answer. Why couldn’t she just go to him and say yes? Wasn’t that in everyone’s best interests?
The situation has changed now that you own the cottage outright.
But Dan’s need to make his children secure hadn’t changed, and his wish to make Jess his wife hadn’t changed. She would have the chance to love him, even if he didn’t love her back…
‘Time to go inside, Ella. We at least need to find out whether Dan’s spoken with Luke, and how that went.’
‘Jess. I hope you had enough time with Ella’s grandparents.’ Dan searched Jess’s face.
He wasn’t sure what had happened but whatever it was, he would try to help. He was waiting for her answer to his proposal. He hadn’t found that waiting period easy but he respected her need to think. He hadn’t even known that Ella’s grandparents wanted to start a relationship so they could get to know their grandchild until Jess asked him for some time off this morning.
‘Dan, did you speak with Luke?’
There was something in Jess’s tone that made him immediately tense.
‘I did.’ Dan had spoken to his son, explained that he wasn’t trying to replace Rebecca in any of their lives.
Luke had cried a little. Dan wished he’d realised what was buried within his son. ‘I didn’t know he’d held on to a lot of the pain from the loss of his mother. He…let some of it out with me, and I think over time he’ll continue that process.’
‘That’s good, Dan.’ Jess was happy to know that he had got to the bottom of Luke’s pain and that his son looked as though he could start to go forward now.
‘He won’t stand in the way, Jess, if we…’
If they married. If they tried to become firm friends who would help one another through life and with the various children.
Jess nodded.
‘I need to tell you about Ella’s grandparents.’ She sought for the right words and in the end just told him, as concisely as she could, what had happened about the cottage and Lang Fielder’s dismissal from the council. ‘I own my cottage now, fair and square. George and Dalia have been very generous. Most of all, even more than the money, I value that they cared enough to help me, and to help me get justice for the way Lang Fielder tricked me and tried to cheat me.’
Dan listened to Jess’s words. There was hurt hiding underneath her anger over Councillor Fielder’s behaviour. He could see that and as he looked into her eyes and felt all her pain as though it were his own Dan realised there were things he’d been holding back from letting himself acknowledge. He’d spoken to Luke and said all the words that he’d felt were the right ones, but even then he hadn’t realised…
‘My money worries are over, Dan.’ Jess said it as though the fact was only beginning to sink in for her. At her feet, Ella started to grizzle, and Jess picked her up and cuddled her and the little girl tucked her head into her mother’s neck.
Jess went on. ‘The cottage is secure thanks to Ella’s grandparents, the parents of Peter Rosche. Too bad if Peter made me sign something saying I’d never tell his name. He broke his end of the bargain and his parents came and found me and asked to be part of Ella’s life and wanted me as well anyway!’
‘That’s really special news, Jess.’ He meant that.
‘I would never have let George and Dalia pay off the money owed to the council if I’d known what they planned to do.’ She chewed her lip.
Ella decided she’d had enough cuddles and wriggled. Jess set her down and she went straight to play with a set of large blocks on the floor.
‘But they did it anyway.’ They probably felt guilty for the way their son had treated her. Not their fault, but Dan would have been the same. ‘It sounds as though they really needed to do that for you, Jess, as much as it was a help to you.’
And he couldn’t help asking himself how this would impact on her answer to him.
She didn’t need him now. Not the way she had before Ella’s grandparents came along.
But he…needed her.
His heart squeezed. For a moment he felt panicked, wondered if he was about to repeat the mini stroke.
But it hadn’t felt like this.
And as he took a breath he realised why his heart had just felt as though someone had locked a fist around it. He didn’t want to lose Jess. He wanted her to agree to be his wife. For his children, for security. But most of all Dan wanted that for himself. It was the one part of it that he had failed to see.
He’d…fallen in love with Jess.
Dan hadn’t believed he could ever do that again. He’d thought all of his love had been for Rebecca. He had fallen for Jess differently, but just as deeply as he’d loved his wife. No wonder he hadn’t known exactly how to explain things to Luke. Dan hadn’t understood his own feelings.
‘Dan, I have to give you my answer. I don’t want you to have to wait any longer.’
At her words, he sought her gaze and realised he could have made a complete mess of all of this. He’d asked her to marry him for worthy reasons, but those reasons hadn’t allowed for how Jess might feel emotionally about him, for the fact that he loved her and needed to know if she could love him in return.
Could he convince Jess to love him in the way that he loved her? Could he help her to trust him, even though Peter Rosche had hurt her? Even though Dan was older? And though he’d been so slow to recognise his feelings prior to making that proposal? Could Dan help his children to accept that he loved Jess and needed her to be in his life?
Dan needed to speak to his children and he needed to do his proposal to Jess over, and this time do it properly. He realised that, as well as Luke needing to adjust, and maybe the others too, though he knew they all had a lot of affection for Jess already, he had to fully let go of Rebecca. He should have done it a long time ago. He needed to take this final step.
‘Jess, would you let me speak to you about that tonight? After the children have gone to bed?’ He wanted to take the time to give he
r something special for when he asked those words a second time.
Rob and Daisy started squabbling outside on the veranda and Jess got up to go and investigate. ‘I guess that would be a better time.’
As she went about her work in the home Dan went into his den and picked up the phone so he could start making his plans for the night.
‘You and the children were quiet when you got back after your walk.’ Jess tried to keep the nervous edge out of her tone.
Dan had taken the children for a walk on the property a few hours ago. He’d had something in a carry bag with him, and a shovel. They’d been gone quite a while. When they got back, they had all seemed subdued, surprised, emotional somehow…
And then Mary had hesitated, run forward and hugged Jess around the knees and skittered off again. Daisy had tipped her head on the side and looked at Jess and then at Ella and she’d seemed somehow to make a decision. She’d given a nod of her head and taken Annapolly by the hand and they’d gone inside.
Rob had looked at Jess, too, and then looked away as though embarrassed and she thought he might have had evidence of earlier tears on his face.
And Luke…
One glance at Luke’s face had told her the boy had been through something deeply emotional. If Dan had spoken to them all about marrying her and this was the reaction—
But then Luke had wrapped his arms around his father’s middle and hugged him hard and let out a deep sigh as though a weight had lifted from his shoulders and then he, too, had gone inside.
Now it was just Jess and Dan and it was evening. Ella was sleeping in the travel cot. Dan had asked Jess to go home and change into something pretty and meet him back here. He was getting the other caregiver in to stay with the children, and he and Jess were going…out, but some place quite close.
Jess was mystified, a little uneasy, trying not to wonder just what Dan was up to and why she would need to wear a nice dress to discuss the future. Dan had already made what he wanted from her quite clear. Did he need to call it all off because his children hadn’t been able to accept the idea?
