by Jennie Adams
But she dressed in her pretty dress, and Dan—Dan wore black dress trousers and shoes and a crisp pale green shirt.
Jess glanced at her yellow sundress with the big red and orange flowers splashed all over it. ‘I hope I’m dressed appropriately for the occasion.’ The dress had a square neckline and flared about her knees. She’d teamed it with her row of wooden bangles and the chunky wooden necklace and just a little understated make-up.
‘You look perfect for where we’re going.’ Dan crooked his elbow and gave a half smile.
If Jess hadn’t known him so well she might have missed the edge of tension beneath that smile. But she did know him, and she did see it. She linked her hand through his arm and he…led her to the tree cubby house!
‘Shall we, Jess? It seems to be the right place for this discussion.’
Somehow they were at the top of the ladder and inside the space, and oh—
‘It’s beautiful.’ The whole place was decorated with bouquets of flowers—store-bought ones that must have cost him a fortune! There was a picnic blanket on the floor again, scatter cushions to lean on. A bucket with…wine in it? Two beautiful fluted glasses and a platter of colourful fruit pieces.
Her heart started to pump hard. What was he doing?
Dan took her hand and led her to the picnic blanket. ‘Shall we sit, Jess?’
His hand shook slightly as he poured the wine and handed her one of the flutes.
‘You didn’t have to do this.’ She chose a grape from the platter and popped it into her mouth. The sweet taste blended with the taste of wine on her tongue. ‘I know that what you offered, well, that it isn’t all about romance really or…feelings, and I’d already made up my mind to tell you…but of course if the children—’
‘I’m hoping that I might be able to start all that over, Jess.’ He set down his wineglass. He’d barely taken a sip.
All she knew was that she loved him and she was prepared to take the risk of marrying him and hope that his affection for her would be enough. She couldn’t think of living life without seeing him. If this gave her the opportunity to be with him then Jess wanted to take that chance. And it seemed as though he wasn’t trying to tell her that he’d changed his mind after speaking with his children. ‘You’re not withdrawing—?’
If he did she would find a way to handle it. She would. Jess didn’t know how, but she was strong. She’d do it if she had to.
‘I asked you to marry me primarily to give security to my children, and to you.’ He took her hand in his again and his fingers gently stroked over hers.
‘I know, and even without me needing that help any more, what you asked for the children was very valid.’ Jess drew a breath. ‘I care about them, Dan. They’ve all found their way into my heart.’
Being with Dan would give Jess and Ella a sense of family, too, something Jess had never expected to have. She’d gained grandparents for Ella, and all this. She was determined to appreciate it. ‘Ella will have siblings to love and grow up with. I really value that.’
‘And I value you, Jess.’ He drew a breath. ‘You’re generous and giving and kind. I love your beautiful clothes and accessories that are so much a part of who you are. I love that you’re so determined about life and how cheerful you are even when things are tough.’
‘I’m not always cheerful.’ She had her moments, and she remembered one such, just after she’d found out about the auction on the cottage. ‘Well, you’ve seen that.’
‘I’ve seen a lot of different parts of you, Jess.’ His fingers curled around hers and his voice deepened. ‘I took the children today and we went to that big old tree down at the end of the property.’
‘So you could talk to them about the possibility of marrying me?’
‘Yes. And we took Rebecca’s ashes and buried them beneath the tree.’
‘Oh, Dan.’ Emotion clogged her throat. ‘That can’t have been easy.’
‘It was something that we all needed, I think.’ He smiled and there was only peace on his face as he went on. ‘I hadn’t totally let go, Jess. I’d been holding on to how much I’d loved Rebecca so that I wouldn’t have to face the risk of fully living my life again. I told myself, because the children had grieved and I’d helped them and time had passed, that I’d done all I had to as well, but that wasn’t true.’
‘You’ve done a wonderful job with the children, Dan.’ Her fingers squeezed right back around his. ‘And you’re not to blame for loving your wife so much that you knew you could never love again like that. I understand.’
Dan drew closer to her until they were both leaning back on the cushions and his shoulder was brushing hers. Their hands were still intertwined. ‘I thought that was what I knew, but, Jess…I did fall in love again. I fell deeply, but I hadn’t realised what was happening until I made a proposal for good reasons, but not for the right reasons, and Luke carried on about it and you said you’d work out your answer.
‘When you came in this morning and told me that Ella’s paternal grandparents had paid off the money owed on your cottage, I knew you didn’t need me for security.’ His mouth softened. ‘It was then that I realised I needed you for myself, because I was in love with you. I hoped that I hadn’t messed everything up by asking you to marry me for those other reasons.’
‘Oh, Dan.’ Could she believe what she was hearing? Her heart had hoped so desperately for Dan to love her but she hadn’t expected it. ‘But there is Luke. I don’t want to hurt him, Dan.’
‘And I…love you for that.’ Dan drew a breath. ‘Luke saw feelings in me towards you that I hadn’t recognised myself for what they were. Today I admitted everything to him and we talked openly about the loss of his mother, all of it. I think Luke will really be able to fully heal now, and he does understand that I care for you because you’re you. It’s no reflection on that past relationship.’
Dan’s gaze held hers and his expression became very serious. ‘I learned that I can love deeply, twice over, Jess. I was worried for the security of my children. That stopped me from recognising and accepting what I was feeling towards you. I can’t guarantee anything in life, but I want the chance to love you with all my heart. I hope for you and I to have very long lives together.’
‘I was going to say yes, Dan.’ She admitted it as love spread through her heart, too, set free finally by his words. ‘I fell in love with you the night that we made love. I realised it the next morning when Ella walked to you. When you asked me to marry you I wasn’t sure what I should say. I wanted to be with you, but I was afraid that it might hurt too much to love you and not be loved in the same way in return. I…went through that with Peter.’
‘You would have said yes for the children’s sakes.’
‘For all of us, really, but only if you’d been able to assure me you felt confident we could get Luke into a better frame of mind about it all.’ Jess could understand why people would make choices to keep their children safe. ‘I love that about you, Dan. I’ve admired your commitment to your family from the first day we met.’
‘I fell in love with all of you.’ He ran his fingers over the bangles on her arm until they clanked together. ‘The way you came to me and offered help even in the face of your own problems. Your care of the children. Your love for your daughter.’
‘I’m hopeful that I can build a good relationship with Ella’s grandparents.’
‘I think you’re already well on the way to that, and, if you give me the chance, I’ll support it every step of the way.’ Dan blew out a breath and then searched her face. ‘Will you marry me, Jess? Because I love you and need you in my life?’
‘I love you and need you too. You have my whole heart.’ Oh, how good it felt to say those words. She was finally able to open all of her heart and give it to this man, and know that it would be safe with him. ‘Yes, I will marry you. I will love you, and love your children, and spend the rest of my life enjoying every aspect of all of you.’
‘Thank you.’ He kissed
her then, a deep, reverent kiss that held all of his love, and allowed Jess to give all of her love back to him.
When they finally drew apart, Dan’s expression sobered. ‘I can’t guarantee—with what happened with that mini stroke—’
‘I know.’ Jess understood the concerns only too well. She would carry them buried in the back of her heart probably for a long time. ‘You’re doing all the right things to look after yourself and put yourself in the best place to avoid a repeat of that.’
It was all Jess could ask. All that Dan could ask of life, as well. ‘You’re right, Dan. There are things that happen that we can’t control. I will hope and pray for your health and the chance to love you long into the future.’ And then she smiled. ‘And I’ll control your salt intake whether you like it or not. No more stashes of salty snacks for you.’
‘I know. I’ll behave.’ His laugh was rich and full of promise. He wrapped his arms around her while he was still chuckling. She felt the vibrations of his humour as he held her, and she smiled too.
‘I’d like to stay out here and make love to you, Jess.’ He said it with longing in his tone, but also with a degree of resignation.
‘But there are a bunch of children and a fill-in caregiver waiting inside for the outcome of this meeting?’
‘Yes. I suspect that’s how it’s going to be.’
She got to her feet and held out her hand to him. ‘It won’t always be easy or smooth sailing, but I am excited about the future. Let’s go inside and tell them the news.’
It hit her then, really, that she was about to become stepmother to five children and a hint of panic surfaced. ‘Will they be okay with this? In the end, at least?’
He got to his feet and brought her hand to his lips. ‘Like me, they know they are getting the joy and pleasure of being able to love a second time. I think even Luke will come to appreciate that deeply in the end.’
His words brought moisture to her eyes, but she blinked and let her joy come through. ‘This is the start of the rest of all our lives together.’
‘Marry me soon, Jessica.’ Dan’s voice softened with love and need. ‘A wedding right here beside the house, with all the children as attendants. We’ll make a beautiful setting for it. Ella and Daisy and Mary and Annapolly can wear pretty dresses and garlands of silk flowers. We’ll make Rob and Luke dress in tuxedos. I want to see you in a beautiful bridal gown as I exchange rings with you.’
‘Then we’ll do all of that, Dan.’ She whispered the words. ‘I will marry you very soon right here.’
He swept her into his arms and kissed her again, and then led her out of the tree house and back inside so they could share their good news…
ISBN: 978-1-4268-8484-9
DAYCARE MOM TO WIFE
First North American Publication 2011
Copyright © 2011 by Jennie Adams
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