Charged for His Sins

by Natavia

  She grabbed my hand then kissed it, “I love you, Mommy,” she said to me. She sat down at the kitchen table while I fixed her breakfast. When I turned around she was under the table looking for her cat.

  “Grandma, Tootsie Bell is sleep,” I said to her.

  “I thought she went up in the tree,” she replied.

  “Zadik got her down from the tree,” I told her. I told her the cat ran up the tree one day when she couldn’t find it. My friend Zadik brought my grandmother the same stuffed, black and white cat over whenever he stopped by and that seemed to pacify her. But, my mother always threw the cat in the garbage whenever she saw it. She said it was torture to have her believing a fake cat was real, but she didn’t have to deal with my grandmother’s tantrums whenever she couldn’t find the cat.

  “I want Tootsie Bell.” My grandmother screamed as she started banging her fist on the table.

  I pulled out my phone and text Zadik asking him where he was at because I needed that damn cat. Although, my grandmother had dementia she was still strong and would knock me down whenever she had fits. Sometimes I had to get help from the neighbors to help me with her because I was so small she tended to overpower me.

  “Right here,” Zadik called out as he walked into the kitchen with an all-white stuffed cat in his right hand.

  “I found Tootsie Bell, Hattie,” Zadik said as he placed the cat in front of my grandmother on the table.

  “That’s not Tootsie Bell.” My grandmother screamed as she threw the cat and her plate across the room.

  “The store ran out of those black and white ones, so they’re going to call me if they have some at their other locations nearby,” Zadik said as my grandmother continued to scream at the top of her lungs. I just wanted to plug my ears and scream right along with her at that moment.

  “Come on Miss Hattie, Tootsie Bell wants you to look after her kitten until she comes back,” Zadik said to her. My grandmother got up then picked up the stuffed animal, she rubbed its head. Zadik was a Godsend, he lived a few houses down from me. He was the finest boy on the block, Zadik stood at six-foot-eight and weighed about two-hundred pounds. He played basketball and was going to school on a scholarship. His skin was the color of cinnamon; his hair was always cut to perfection, and he always wore the latest gear. Zadik had a nice pair of lips, and he gave me butterflies every time he smiled. He had those strong facial features that made you question what he was mixed with. His tall body made me seem like I was a dwarf.

  My grandmother skipped her breakfast, she usually did when she was upset. She walked into the living room ranting and raving about nothing. Zadik helped me clean up the mess on the floor, “I’m so sick of this,” I said to him.

  He hugged me, “It will be okay, I’m here wit’ you,” he said.

  Zadik was different from other boys his age, he was more mature. He acted as if he was in his mid-twenties, but he was only eighteen. Zadik and I had sex a few times, I gave him my virginity a few months prior. Faraji was always talking about how good sex was and it made me curious. One day when Zadik was over, he and I were studying for exams. I expressed to him how curious I was about it, so he showed me. We were only friends so we didn’t talk about dating each other. I ended up catching feelings for Zadik after he took my virginity. He knew my family and me so I didn’t have to hide anything from him. He was the only guy I could talk to about everything. I considered him a best friend, but I wanted more from him. I wanted to be his girlfriend.

  “Hopefully my mom gets back home by the time I have to go to work,” I said to Zadik.

  “Yeah, hopefully,” he said.

  “I can’t wait to go to school, but that cloud will be over my head. I will be worrying about her and her well-being,” I said.

  “You got to live for you Emeka,” he said to me. I went out on the porch when I heard the ice-cream truck. I made sure I brought my grandmother with me. She sat on the porch in her rocking chair while Zadik and I walked to the ice-cream truck. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I smiled as the girls on the block stared and envied us. I knew he had feelings for me too, but I figured he was afraid to tell me. We both didn’t want to ruin a good friendship although it was tempting.

  My mother walked up the block wearing a fishnet dress with a leopard bra and thong set underneath. Her long wig came down to her ass, and her Chinese bangs covered her eyes. Her hips swayed as she strutted in her black strappy heels displaying her bow-legs. My mother, Chloe was a brick house; she looked to be only twenty-five-years-old although she was thirty-five. She didn’t have one scar or blemish on her body.

  My mother was a prostitute; she wasn’t sucking dick for twenty dollars though. She was doing bigger jobs, she preferred rich men. Sometimes she left out of the house dressed like she belonged on a red-carpet. My mother’s Johns took her out of town and spent a lot of money on her.

  She had a Jaguar she kept parked behind the house when she was working. She didn’t drive her car because she didn’t want her tag number to be traced by a stalker. My mother received a lot of catcalls as she walked up the street. She looked at Zadik and openly blew him a kiss. She said that Zadik had too much dick for me, she caught us having sex on the basement couch. She cursed me out, but not because I was fucking a boy in the house. She was mad because I gave Zadik my pussy for free. She told me that I should’ve charged him and gave her a cut since she gave birth to me.

  “Hey basketball player,” my mother said to Zadik. All she saw in him was a meal ticket which she thought she was going to eat off of.

  I rolled my eyes at her, my mother was like my sister but I actually couldn’t stand her. She doesn’t know who my father is, she said she took three men the night she got pregnant with me. She stated the only reason she had me was because pregnant pussy was more expensive. When I was a little girl, she dropped me off to my grandmother every chance she got so she could go out on her dates. I was left with any neighbor that didn’t mind an extra kid in their home when I got a little older.

  Zadik ignored her as he bought me, my grandmother, and him ice-cream. He was used to my mother coming on to him, she even invited him on a few of her dates because some of her clients liked to watch her with someone else. My mother got pissed every time he turned her down and she blamed me because of it. She was a sick and twisted nympho. A few years back, she asked me to join her and a rich Italian man on one of their sexcapades. I threw up for two days because the thought of me fucking my mother was sickening. I ignored her for almost a year. I didn’t start talking back to her until my grandmother became worse and I needed help with her.

  “Ma don’t forget you have to watch grandma while I go to work,” I called out to her before she walked into the house.

  “I can’t do it! I have an important date I can’t get out of.” She said as the front door slammed. I should’ve known I couldn’t count on her to watch my grandmother. An Important date to my mother just meant it was too much money on the line for her to pass it up.

  “What am I going to do? I don’t have enough money to pay Yakira to watch my grandma while I’m at work,” I said. I handed my grandmother her ice-cream and she was tickled.

  “Don’t worry about that. I got the money to pay Yakira for tonight and tomorrow.” Zadik said as he sat down next to me on the porch.

  “I can’t keep taking money from you. I’ll figure something out.” I didn’t want to feel like I needed someone else’s help for something that wasn’t their responsibility in the first place.

  “I already paid Yakira for those days, and you need to call that number Yakira gave you to get your grandmother some help,” Zadik said.

  Yakira had given me a number a few weeks back to a social services center for adults that could help my grandmother get some financial and caregiver help.

  “Come on Grandma it's time for your medicine,” I said to her as I looked down at my cell phone and noticed the time. I helped her out of her rocking chair and into the house. Zadik went into the kitc
hen to get her a Jell-O cup to eat before she took her medicine. Jell-O was the only thing she would eat besides sweets when she was having one of her bad days.

  “Take your medicine, Miss Hattie and I promise to have Tootsie Bell back in the morning.” Zadik said as my grandmother sat up in her bed shaking her head from side-to-side while refusing her medicine. I guess that was all she needed to hear because my grandmother took the medicine out of my hand and swallowed it. My grandmother’s eyes were starting to get droopy after a couple of seconds. I helped her lay all the way down and placed the fake cat in her arms. I quietly left out of the room with Zadik following behind me.

  “Emeka,” my mom shouted from her room down the hall as Zadik and I were about to go into my bedroom.

  “Ssshhh, Ma grandma is sleeping now,” I said after I rushed to her room to keep her from shouting again.

  “It’s too early for her to be sleep anyway, zip up my dress for me.” She said as she turned around with her back facing me.

  “Remember what I said about fucking. Don’t be giving him none of your pussy for free, make sure he pays before he plays.” My mother said as I zipped up her dress. I wanted to snatch the cable cord out of the wall and wrap it around her throat.

  This hoe doesn’t know how to give advice. Not even if someone paid her, I thought.

  “What are we going to do with grandma when I leave for school, soon?” I questioned her for like the millionth time.

  “It was already decided that you would stay home and commute to school,” I swear my mother only heard what she wanted to hear during our conversations.

  “No, it was decided that I was getting my own place and you would find some help for grandma. This is too much for me and I can’t do it any longer,” I replied.

  “Figure it all out on your own since you know everything.” My mother responded as she grabbed her purse. She left me standing in her bedroom feeling empty. Why did she hate me so much? What did I do to her? Why in the hell was she so evil? I didn’t know the answers to those questions.

  It was time for me to call for help because I couldn’t leave my grandmother in my mother's care. I would’ve come home and found my grandmother dead, or the house burned down. I avoided calling my uncle Carl to help because I knew he would’ve kicked my mother out of the house, and sent grandma to a nursing home. He didn’t know how bad everything was since he lived out of state.

  I went into my bedroom and grabbed my phone to call Carl. I sang like a canary as soon as he answered the phone. I told him EVERYTHING about Chloe too. I was sick of the cold-hearted whore.

  The next day…

  “Pass the damn blunt, Samiah! Damn, this bitch sucking on that blunt like it’s Zu’s penis,” Adisa shouted out. We were on the basketball court in Samiah’s neighborhood. Samiah’s brother York and his friend Hoppa was shooting hoops.

  “Hoppa is sexy,” Faraji said.

  “Ughhhh, bitch Hoppa is a damn fool,” Adisa said then laughed.

  “Hoppa is sweet, he just has a lot of females under his belt,” Samiah said.

  “Yes him and York do,” Adisa said.

  “Don’t you start that shit, Adisa. You know darn well that’s your boo. Can y’all believe that she has been screwing my brother for a year and never told me?” Samiah asked passing the blunt to me.

  “Are you serious? I thought she was just crushing on him,” I said.

  “Yeah, I thought that too. That chocolate snicker bar can get it,” Faraji said then Adisa playfully pushed her.

  “Don’t play with me bitch,” Adisa pointed at Faraji then we all fell over laughing.

  Samiah’s ex-boyfriend pulled up, “Oh, lord I forgot my damn shades. This bright nigga just lit up the basketball court,” Adisa said.

  Zu bopped over to where we were sitting, “Let me holla’ at you really quick,” he said to Sam.

  “For what? York is standing over there,” she fussed.

  “I’m grown shorty, plus York will just have to understand,” Zu spat. Seconds later, tires were screeching and bullets were being fired at the basketball court. Zu threw Samiah on the ground then laid down on top of her.

  “Get the fuck down!” York shouted as he and Hoppa started shooting back. I was shaking like a lonely leaf on a tree branch as I laid under the bleachers. The bullets kept coming, and it hurt my ears although I covered them. After the shooting seized, I hurriedly popped up. I screamed when I saw Zu’s body lying on top of Sam. His white shirt turned red as blood seeped through the material. I looked to my right and Faraji was lying on the ground with blood seeping from her shirt too. She slightly moaned from pain, I ran over to her. She was shot in the shoulder. Sam screamed tapping Zu’s face to keep him awake. There was a lot of commotion surrounding us which was causing everyone to panic.

  “We have to get rid of these guns, we will meet y’all at the hospital,” York said then he and Hoppa stormed off. I looked around me and saw a few dead bodies lying on the ground.

  I didn’t know how violent Sam’s neighborhood could be. I have never been so close to gunfire and death in all of my eighteen years of life. My hands shook as I called 911. Sam was screaming and crying as Zu’s blood ran down the cracks in the concrete. Faraji’s wound was a graze, but I hugged her tightly anyway. Faraji had been my friend since third grade. I wouldn’t know what to do without her being in my life. Faraji, Zadik and my grandmother were all I had. When the ambulance came the paramedics rushed to Zu. He looked dead, and someone said he wasn’t breathing anymore. The paramedics had to pry Sam off of Zu with the help of Adisa. Her screams and cries pierced my heart.

  Two hours later…

  We sat in the ER’s waiting area as we waited for an update on Zu’s condition. Faraji’s shoulder was patched up in no time. Sam sat gazing at the wall while Adisa held her hand. York and Hoppa sat in the corner not saying much. I could tell York, Hoppa and Zu had a very strong friendship. York’s eyes were bloodshot red and a vein was popping out of his neck. I feared he was going to explode.

  Sam looked at York, “This has you written all over! They were aiming at you, what did you do York?” Samiah asked her brother out of the blue.

  York didn’t respond, “Was this because of you York? That’s all we want to know right now,” Adisa said.

  “It was Emani’s brother. She told him I put my hands on her because I cut her off. You know the rest,” York answered.

  “Over a bitch? All over a damn bitch!” Sam screamed. A light-skinned girl rushed into the waiting room with a group of friends. I knew drama was coming because she ran straight to York.

  “Oh my god, York. How is Zu? What happened?” she fired off with questions.

  “Why the fuck is you here?” Sam asked the stranger.

  “You must be Samiah, but anyways I called his phone and someone answered to inform me that Zu was in the hospital,” she replied.

  “You know her York? Zu introduced you to the bitch?” Samiah asked.

  “Yo, why are you bugging? That’s his baby mama. Why wouldn’t I know her?” York asked Samiah.

  “I guess big brother doesn’t know that you are fucking Zu,” the light-skinned girl said.

  “Tacara, let’s just sit down,” one of her friends said as she pulled her back.

  Samiah hopped up, “You knew about me and decided to fuck him anyway? You knew he had a girlfriend and you got pregnant by him,” Sam said to the girl Tacara. I sat quietly as the drama unfolded.

  “You have been messing with Zu this whole time, Sam?” York asked her.

  “You have been screwing Adisa so why does it matter?” Sam fired back.

  “Wait a minute, York you have a woman and you are screwing my cousin?” Tacara asked. I was thankful I didn’t know anyone else besides Adisa, and Samiah in the waiting area. I tried to avoid being in messy situations.

  “So, y’all sneaky ass negros double-dating? Hoppa, which one are you screwing?” Adisa asked.

  “None of your damn business,” Hoppa fired back.r />
  “I cannot believe the nerve of this bitch,” Samiah mumbled then sat down.

  “Well believe it because Zu and I are working it out for the sake of our daughter Zula,” Tacara said. Sam stormed out of the waiting area bumping Tacara as hard as she could on her way out. Adisa and I followed behind her. When she got out in the parking lot she burst into tears.

  “I hope he fucking dies!” Samiah shouted still drenched in his blood.

  Adisa hugged her, “You don’t mean that Sam. You cannot let her get to you. I can tell that she is purposely trying to flaunt that baby in your face. Don’t worry, we are going to tap her ass,” Adisa said then Sam wiped her eyes.

  “I’m not fighting over a nigga that wasn’t mine, to begin with. Do you see how pretty she is? Look, at me! I’m fat and I’m black! That nigga doesn’t want me, he only wanted what was between my legs. He got me good, he got me really fucking good,” Samiah shouted. Samiah and Adisa left the hospital, I stayed back with Faraji. I told them I would text them later once Faraji was released.