Until We Touch

by Susan Mallery

  She did as he requested. The skirt moved with her, swaying like a bell. “You’re beautiful,” he told her honestly. “And the dress is good, too.”

  Taryn grinned. “Okay. Let me get into the other one and we’ll decide.”

  Isabel helped her down from the platform and together they went into the dressing room.

  Jack thought back to Taryn’s first wedding, to him. They’d flown to Las Vegas the Friday after she’d discovered she was pregnant and had been married in the east chapel at the Bellagio hotel. They’d spent the weekend in a suite before flying home early Monday morning.

  It hadn’t been love for either of them. He’d been fine with that. Love wasn’t in the cards for him. When you loved someone, they left and Jack had been left enough for three lifetimes. Maybe not in numbers but in how it had all played out. He wasn’t risking that again.

  With Taryn, he’d felt safe. They got along. They were friends who had sex. That had been plenty. The thought of a kid had terrified him at first. What if his child was like Lucas? But over the next few weeks, he’d told himself he would get through it, whatever happened.

  Then Taryn had lost the baby. She’d started divorce proceedings the next day. Jack had wanted to tell her she didn’t have to. He didn’t mind being married to her, but she was determined. They’d stayed friends and had started Score together.

  Looking back, he knew he had the best of all worlds. People he could care about, who cared about him. There weren’t the highs, but there also weren’t any risks.

  “I’m feeling guilty,” Larissa said, pulling him back to the present.

  “Why?”

  “Do you know how expensive these dresses are? Do you know how many people could be helped with that money?”

  He took her hand in his and squeezed her fingers. “Taryn will not be moved by that argument.”

  “I know. But still.”

  He kissed her knuckles. “Pick a cause and we’ll save something.”

  She looked at him. “But it’s always with your money. What do I give back?”

  “Your heart and that’s enough.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.”

  Because she was the most giving person he’d ever known and he liked how she dragged him along. Without wanting to, he remembered the last time he’d offered all he had. He’d been nine.

  It had been late. The hospital was as quiet as it could get. Both his parents were asleep and he’d been wandering the pediatric wing alone. He’d caught sight of his brother’s cardiologist and had hurried over to speak to him. Because he’d finally figured out how to fix his brother.

  “Dr. Madison.”

  The tall, weary man had smiled at him. “Jack. Why aren’t you asleep?”

  “I found a donor for Lucas. A heart donor. He’s a good match, I’m sure of it.” Jack knew all about transplants and matches. There had been talk of little else in his world for years.

  Dr. Madison had shaken his head. “There’s no donor, Jack.”

  “Yes, there is. Me.” Jack remembered staring up at the doctor. “We’re identical twins, so I’m the perfect match. Take my heart and make Lucas better.”

  Dr. Madison had smiled sadly. “We can’t do that, Jack.”

  “But I want you to. Take my heart. Make Lucas better so he can live.”

  “It doesn’t work that way, son.”

  The doctor had hugged him tight, then taken him back to where his parents slept in cots by Lucas’s hospital bed. No mention had been made of Jack’s offer. In the end, Lucas got a heart from someone else. He’d done well at first, and then he hadn’t.

  Larissa leaned against him again. He put his arm around her. She knew that he’d lost a brother when a transplanted organ had failed. Nearly everyone knew that. But no one knew what it was like, day after day. To be the twin who hadn’t gotten sick. To be the one who survived.

  Six months after Lucas’s death, his parents had left for a medical mission in Africa. There were children there who needed saving. They told Jack he would be fine on his own. He had his football scholarship and his strong, steady heart.

  He remembered the shock that they would abandon him. Because somewhere in his head, he’d assumed that when Lucas was gone, they would still be a family. Only he’d been wrong.

  He’d said all the right things—that of course he would be fine. And they’d believed him. At the time he hadn’t known why, but over the years he’d figured it out. They’d believed him because it made their leaving easier. They could tell themselves he was okay and go without having to look back.

  He understood what they’d done. And why. He was Lucas’s identical twin. To look at him was to see what they had lost. Years of hoping and suffering and believing had taken their toll. The transplant had only bought a little time. It hadn’t been the lifesaving operation it was supposed to be. Being with Jack had reminded them of everything bad. Leaving had been so much easier than staying.

  They’d flown away and they’d never come back. He’d turned eighteen that summer with no family around to celebrate the day. He told himself it was because they knew he was completely capable of being on his own, even as he understood the truth was far less pretty. His parents hadn’t cared enough about him. They’d lost Lucas and had abandoned him.

  What he would guess they had never thought about was that he, too, had lost Lucas. And a few months later, he’d also lost his parents. Risking caring about anyone had become impossible. He knew the price of getting involved and he was never going to let that happen again.

  He had the fame and the money to take on causes. And he did. From a distance. Larissa was the heart of their odd philanthropic partnership and he was the means. He believed it was a whole lot safer that way. For everyone, but mostly for him.

  CHAPTER NINE

  LARISSA SET OUT place mats and napkins. It was after five and dinner would be delivered within the half hour. She already had the wine open and breathing. It was a Washington State Cabernet—a favorite of everyone. Soft music played in the background.

  Outside the conference rooms she could hear the other employees calling out as they left. Then it would be the five of them for dinner. The four partners and her.

  She smiled as she continued to set the table. It had been far too long since they had a “family” dinner at work. Lately everyone was so busy with their personal lives. Taryn was rushing home to be with Angel. Sam was rushing home to be with Dellina. Kenny—well, Larissa wasn’t sure where he rushed off to, but he was gone a lot. That left her and Jack, which was great, but every now and then she wanted the whole band back together.

  Kenny strolled into the conference room. He’d taken off his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. The cuffs were already rolled up. He looked happy and relaxed, until he heard the music.

  “Come on,” he said, his tone complaining. “How about something good for a change?”

  “These are all songs from this century,” she pointed out.

  “Not a great time for music.”

  “Do you want to know how many albums Taylor Swift has sold?”

  He winced. “No, and I don’t want to talk about her.”

  “Not every great song is from the 1960s.”

  “Want to bet?”

  She laughed. Kenny was so predictable with his crazy love of oldies. “You weren’t even born then.”

  “That doesn’t mean the music wasn’t great.”

  She opened the cabinet containing the dishes and glassware. Kenny joined her and reached for plates.

  “Are your hands clean?” she asked, her voice teasing.

  “Of course. You think I’d offer to help if they weren’t?”

  “You might.”

  “Not my style.”

  He set out the plates wh
ile she followed with the glasses. Kenny walked to the flatware drawer, but instead of opening it, he faced her.

  “You doing okay?” he asked.

  “Sure. Why?”

  “Just checking.”

  “On me?”

  He nodded.

  She paused, wondering what all this was about. Kenny was a good guy. Charming, easygoing. He was genuinely nice and kind. He called his mother regularly, paid his bills on time and rarely experienced the dark moods that Jack sometimes wrestled with.

  He was also six feet four inches of pure speed. With his size, he could have played nearly anywhere on the football field, but Kenny loved to catch footballs and when they were around him, footballs loved to be caught.

  All in all, the perfect man, she thought as he watched her carefully. Handsome, successful, rich. She was sure women everywhere wondered why he wasn’t married. There must be a simple explanation, but it wasn’t one he’d ever talked about to her.

  So why was he worried about her?

  “Jack,” she said suddenly, feeling her cheeks heat up. “And my mother.”

  “Are they a thing? I didn’t know.”

  Her mouth twisted. “Very funny. You know what I mean. He told you what my mom said.”

  Kenny nodded. “And about the kiss.”

  The heat grew until Larissa was sure she was bright red. This was when wearing makeup would be a good thing, she thought. Something to conceal her body’s reaction to conflicting emotions.

  “It didn’t mean anything,” she said.

  “That’s what Jack told me and I don’t believe you, either.”

  She stared up into Kenny’s blue eyes. “My mother said some stuff and now we’re dealing. It’ll pass.”

  “I want to believe that, but I’m not sure I can. Larissa, you’re one of us. We’re family. Jack shouldn’t mess with that. If you two get involved and then it goes badly...”

  He didn’t finish the sentence, but then he didn’t have to. Larissa knew what would happen. Jack was an owner, she was an employee. It wasn’t as if he would be the one to leave.

  “We’re not involved,” she said firmly. “I promise.”

  “You’re not in love with him?”

  “What? No. I like Jack a lot. Just like I like you a lot. It’s not more than that.” At least she hoped it wasn’t. Because as much as she adored Kenny, she had no desire to kiss him. Or Sam. In fact, there wasn’t anyone she wanted to kiss except, of course, Jack.

  “Kenny, I’m okay. This will get worked out and things will go back to normal.”

  He nodded slowly. “If you’re sure. But if that changes and you get in trouble, let me know.”

  Because he would be there for her. “Thank you,” she said, stepping forward and hugging him.

  He held her for a second, then released her. “Did you get the extra-meat lasagna? Because if I have to eat pasta, it better have some protein on it.”

  She grinned. “Seriously? After all this time you’re questioning my ordering skills?”

  Thirty minutes later the five of them were sitting down to dinner. Angelo’s had delivered football-player-size portions of double-meat lasagna for the guys, along with two normal servings for Taryn and Larissa. There was salad, garlic bread and tiramisu for dessert. As they would all be walking home—except for Taryn, who would be picked up later by an adoring Angel—wine flowed freely.

  “Where’s Percy?” Taryn asked as she lightly sprinkled dressing on her salad. “Didn’t he want to join us?”

  “Have dinner with a bunch of old people?” Jack asked. “No way. I offered, but he said he’d rather eat by himself. And here I thought we were an interesting bunch.”

  “We are,” Taryn assured him. “He’s just too young to appreciate us.”

  Sam raised his glass of wine. “To old friends. The best kind.”

  Taryn winced. “I’m not fond of the old part of that statement, but I’ll drink to the rest of it.”

  They clinked glasses, then drank.

  Taryn sat at the head of the table. Larissa was to her right, next to Jack. Kenny and Sam were on the other side. She glanced at Kenny and he winked at her. A simple act that made her able to relax enough to enjoy the meal. Because she wanted things normal between them.

  She didn’t know what was happening with Jack. None of it made sense. Not the attraction, not the kissing. She only knew that he was a constant in her world and she never wanted that to change.

  “The last thing we need is another alcohol-based client,” Taryn was saying. “Isn’t what we have enough?”

  “There’s a Polish vodka producer looking for a presence in America,” Jack told her. “That would be good for us.”

  Taryn glared at him. “You’re just saying that because you’re hoping to plan a business meeting in mid-January. I know how you all love to torment me.”

  “Poland is relatively close to France,” Sam said. “We could meet in Paris.”

  “Uh-huh. You’re all in on this.” She turned to Larissa. “You’re the only one I can depend on.”

  “I wouldn’t mind going to Poland,” Larissa admitted. “In any month.”

  Kenny chuckled. “Imagine what you could rescue there.”

  As if listening to the conversation, Larissa’s cell phone chirped. Everyone burst out laughing. Kenny pointed at Jack.

  “Five bucks says you’re screwed.”

  Jack rolled his eyes. “I’m not taking that bet.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Larissa said primly as she pulled her phone out of her pocket and glanced at the text message on the screen.

  It was from a wildlife organization. They needed a place to keep an injured wild Northern Spotted Owl. She turned to Jack.

  “Can I keep a bird at your place?”

  The table went silent as everyone waited.

  Jack looked at her. “In a cage?”

  “Yes.”

  “Just one bird?”

  She nodded.

  “For how long?”

  “Less than a week.”

  “Okay, sure.” He looked at Kenny. “It’s a bird. I’m fine. You owe me five bucks.”

  “We’ll see about that.”

  Larissa quickly texted back agreement to take the bird, then excused herself to get the rest of the information. When she was done with the call, she texted Percy to let him know what was going on, then returned to the conference room.

  Jack and Kenny were arguing about a play from a game from who knew how many years ago. As she walked back in, Jack stood and walked to the microwave. He hit a couple of buttons while explaining to Kenny why he was wrong.

  Because in the few minutes she’d been gone, he’d put her dinner in the microwave for her. So it wouldn’t be cold. Taryn grabbed the open bottle of wine and topped off Larissa’s glass while Sam put another slice of garlic bread on her side plate.

  She smiled and took her place at the family table.

  * * *

  TWO DAYS LATER, Jack walked through Fool’s Gold on his way to the library to pick up Percy. It was nearly seven on a weeknight, but people were still out. Families strolled together. Neighbors visited over fences. It was a good town, he thought. A place that welcomed strangers and made longtime residents not want to leave.

  Taryn had hated the idea of moving here, but even she had come around. Sam was engaged to a local girl. It was just a matter of time until Kenny overcame his past and fell hard for some sweet young thing. Then they’d have roots here and Score would become a part of the Fool’s Gold story.

  He wanted that. A sense of belonging was nice—as long as he could keep his distance as it washed over him.

  He turned the corner and headed for the library. As he got closer, he saw a tall ski
nny teen sitting on the front steps. Percy put his laptop away as Jack approached, then stood and walked toward him.

  “When did the library close?” he asked.

  “It’s open a few more minutes, but I came out here to wait. I wanted to keep working on my reading.” Percy grinned. “It’s going good. Some of the stuff I know and I’m learning the rest of it.”

  “Good for you.” Jack and the teen walked along the sidewalk. The sun had set about fifteen minutes before and now the sky darkened quickly.

  Percy glanced at him. “There were a couple of guys in the library who were starting at Cal U Fool’s Gold in a couple of weeks. They said they wished the school had a football team.”

  “Trying to influence my vote?” Jack asked.

  “Maybe.”

  “You don’t have to convince me, kid. I think having a football program will enrich the college. But I’m not the decision maker. Besides, starting a team from scratch...” He shook his head. That would be a tough one. “I’m not sure where they’ll find a coach willing to take that on. It would be years before they were decent enough to play in any of the ranked leagues. You’d be giving up maybe a decade of your career to be in the shadows.”

  Percy brows drew together. “I thought coaches were in it for the love of the game and teaching their players.”

  “A lot are, but you also want to be seen as a winner. It’s hard to win when you don’t get to play.” Jack wondered how long until the program could join the small leagues. Three years? Four? “Plus, it’s going to take some real money to do it right. Scholarships have to be established, equipment bought, staff hired. A job like that would be consuming.”

  He knew what he was talking about. Football had consumed him for a couple of decades—but in the best way possible. He’d seen the sport change lives. Having a team on campus would be a good thing—he believed that. But he doubted the university was willing to make the commitment.

  Football had saved him, he thought. Had given him a place to belong after his parents had left for Africa. It had been easier to survive that year after Lucas had died. The year of firsts. First Christmas without his brother. First birthday. In a way, the latter had been more difficult. Because he and Lucas were twins—they’d shared a birthday.