Until We Touch

by Susan Mallery

  “I know.”

  “It’s just, you shouldn’t be in love with me. I’m not a good bet.”

  She gave a laugh that cracked in the middle, then sniffed. “It’s okay, Jack. I get it.”

  He didn’t know what to say to that. What did she get? And why did he know that the hell he found himself in wasn’t over yet?

  * * *

  JACK’S BAD DAY got worse when he went into town for lunch. An innocent enough errand, just not that particular day. There was a food truck that had a place by the park. They served the best sandwiches and wraps he’d ever had. Now he made it a habit to stop by a couple of times a week.

  He’d chosen today because getting out of the office had seemed like a good idea. No one had said anything about the incident with the masseuse, but he knew they knew. Worse, Larissa had gone home early, claiming she wasn’t feeling well. He knew the truth. He knew he’d hurt her and that he was the lowest form of life there was.

  The last thing he wanted was another warning conversation with Kenny, so he’d decided lunch out was a solution for all his ills. Only when he got in line, about six people back from the order window, he noticed a tall, lanky teen talking to a pretty girl. The girl was of average height, with auburn hair and green eyes. Pretty enough. Maybe too pretty.

  Talking was fine, Jack thought, pleased Percy had made friends. Only then the girl put her hand on Percy’s arm and dammit it all to hell if Percy didn’t lightly kiss her.

  Dating? Percy was dating? He’d only been in town, like, a month. How could he have found a girlfriend so quickly? This was something Jack didn’t need. Because teenaged boys were one giant walking, breathing hormone. They had one thing on their minds and it wasn’t how to study hard and better themselves. He’d ignored Larissa’s request to talk to Percy about safe sex. Turned out he should have listened.

  Worse, this was Fool’s Gold. It was just a matter of time until everyone knew about Percy and the pretty redhead, and then there was going to be trouble. One of her parents would come calling to meet Percy’s “guardians.” What was Jack supposed to say? What did he really know about the kid?

  The line moved. Percy and the girl placed their order. A few minutes later, Jack did the same. It was a testament to young love that they ate their entire lunch without noticing him only a couple of tables away. He waited until they’d said goodbye and Percy started back to the office to make his move. Jack walked behind him for a few feet, then increased his speed until they were level.

  Percy grinned. “Hey, Jack. Were you in town for lunch, too? You should try the food truck, man. It’s great. The lady who runs it—Ana Raquel—is Dellina’s sister. Dellina is—”

  “I know who Dellina is,” he said curtly. “And I just had lunch there.”

  “You did? I didn’t see you.” Percy’s smile faded. “Oh. You saw me with Melissa.”

  “I did.”

  Percy came to a stop and faced him. The teen’s posture was defensive and combative at the same time. His shoulders were square and jaw thrust out.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” he said defiantly.

  “I doubt that.”

  “You think I don’t belong with her. Is it because of the color of my skin?”

  “What? Your skin? No. I think it’s because you’re eighteen years old and your head is run by your dick.”

  Percy’s mouth twitched. “That’s why you’re upset? You thinking I’m banging her? I’m not. She’s more important than that. We’ve only been seeing each other a couple of weeks.”

  Jack rubbed his temple. “Percy, Fool’s Gold isn’t like Los Angeles. It’s a small town. People know things about each other. Melissa’s parents know their daughter is dating some guy they know nothing about. So they’re going to come looking for answers.”

  “She doesn’t have parents. Not here. She lives with her aunt and uncle, when she’s not at college.” His mouth twitched again. “She’s a year older than me.”

  “Oh, goodie.” Jack pointed toward the office. “Start walking and start listening. Like I said, this is a small town. Sure it’s nice to know a lot of people but that also means everybody gets to know your business. And in this case, your business is dating a hometown girl.”

  “Are you saying I shouldn’t see her?”

  “No. I’m saying I’m going to be bringing you a box of condoms. A big box. When that box gets close to empty, let me know and I’ll buy another one.”

  Jack didn’t look at Percy as they walked together and he really didn’t want to be having this conversation. He wasn’t the right guy for this. Surely that was clear to anyone who might be listening.

  Percy chuckled. “You trying to tell me to have safe sex?”

  “Yes,” Jack growled. “That’s exactly what I’m telling you. Put a hat on it, kid. Neither you nor Melissa want an unplanned pregnancy.”

  “I know where babies come from.”

  “Good. That will make it easier to keep it from happening without warning.”

  “Melissa and I are taking things slow. Keeping ’em casual. She heads back to school in a couple of weeks, so I don’t think we’re going to be doing anything like that. But I promise, if we do, I’ll use a condom.”

  Jack nodded. “You know how?” he forced himself to ask, and prayed the answer was yes.

  “I do. I’ve been putting a ‘hat’ on it for a while now.” He chuckled. “Man, you are so old.”

  “Thanks.”

  Percy laughed harder. “You didn’t like this one bit, did you?”

  “No.”

  “But you got the job done. That’s something.”

  If only it was enough.

  * * *

  LARISSA DREW THE brush across Dyna’s back. The cat lay in a patch of sun, her eyes half-closed, her purring all rumbly.

  “Is that nice?” she asked softly. “Do you like the attention?”

  The rumble continued.

  “I think I’d like being a cat,” Larissa continued. “People to pet you and take care of you. And it’s different in the cat world. Humans have to earn your trust, right? Like you and me. You were interested in living here, but cautious. Over time, I won you over. It’s not like you were begging me to take you in and then I didn’t love you back. Trust me, that sucks.”

  She paused mentally, if not with the petting, to consider that maybe she was anthropomorphizing the situation a little bit more than she should have. Dyna was a cat. She didn’t fall in love—at least not romantically. She bonded with the person who took care of her. Larissa, on the other hand, had bonded where she wasn’t welcome and was now suffering the consequences.

  Someone knocked on her door. She looked over her shoulder before scrambling to her feet. She was pretty sure she knew who would be there. Someone from Score. Odds were on Taryn or Jack. She knew who her heart wanted her visitor to be.

  She drew in a breath, then turned the knob. Jack stood on the small landing. He looked at her with a steady gaze.

  “We have to talk,” he told her.

  A few weeks ago she would have teased him about turning into a woman, saying something like that. He would have teased her back. Things had been easy. Before, she thought sadly. Before she’d realized she’d fallen in love with him.

  Ignorance really was bliss, she admitted to herself as she stepped back to allow him in. Right now she was battling an uncomfortable combination of hurt, humiliation and, the real kicker—happiness to bask in his presence. How ridiculous was that?

  Jack stepped into her small apartment. He bent down and scooped Dyna up in his arms. The long-haired feline relaxed completely and continued to purr.

  “Hey, gorgeous,” he said as he rubbed the side of her face. Dyna snuggled closer.

  Larissa had to admit that the sight of a big tough guy holding
a fluffy cat was pretty hard to resist. Not that she was interested in resisting all that much. Which was part of the problem. Her lack of willpower.

  Jack set Dyna on the sofa and then drew in a breath. “I’m sorry about the masseuse,” he said. “That was wrong on a lot of different levels. I shouldn’t have called her at all, but having called, I should have gone to see her somewhere else. I violated your personal space. I apologize for that.”

  She nodded, knowing he wasn’t responsible for all the blame.

  “I changed the rules,” she admitted, not quite meeting his gaze.

  “You did and you scared the hell out of me.”

  That made her look at him. “How do you figure?”

  “Larissa, you’re important to me. You and I are close and I like that. I like everything about our relationship. I trust you and there aren’t a whole lot of people I can say that about. What we have...” He paused. “I saw Percy in town today.”

  “Okay, and that’s relevant how?”

  “He was with a girl. Her name is Melissa and they’re seeing each other.”

  “Percy has a girlfriend? Why didn’t I know about this? Who is she and do I approve?”

  Jack smiled gently. “Not my point. When I freaked out, he told me not to worry. That he wasn’t, ah, sleeping with her. She was too important for that. Now, I used to be an eighteen-year-old guy so I know exactly how much sex matters. What I think he meant is hooking up is easy. Relationships are a whole other thing. That’s what I mean about you. I don’t want to date you because my romantic relationships always end badly. If we don’t go down that path, we can stay together forever.”

  Maybe, but the way things were, she was stuck being in love with him. “What if I want more?”

  “I can’t give you that.”

  “You mean you don’t want to.”

  “Isn’t it the same thing?” he asked.

  “Not really. I just wish you were interested in me in that way.” She wanted to ask if he could try a little harder, but that seemed too much like begging. And a girl either had to have Dyna’s looks or a little pride.

  He closed the space between them and took her hands in his. “We’re a great team. Look at all we get done. Your causes, my causes. We laugh a lot. Isn’t that better than being in love with me?”

  She pulled her hands free. “I don’t like this any more than you do. It’s humiliating to think you don’t want me or think of me as other than a friend. Why can’t you be begging me for something I don’t want to give?”

  “I’ll beg for things to go back the way they were before, if that helps.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “I just want to be a part of something. I want...” She paused as yet another uncomfortable truth rose to the surface. “I want what my sisters have. A conventional, normal marriage with a couple of kids and a great husband.”

  A muscle twitched in Jack’s jaw, but what he said was, “I want that for you, too.”

  “With another guy?”

  “Unless you’re playing for the other team these days. If so, I know a really cute girl who might be your type.”

  “Ha ha.” She sighed. “I’m so boring.”

  “You’re not. You’re lovely.”

  “I’m nearly thirty, single and desperately in love with a man who has no interest in me. The only thing that would make me more of a cliché was if you were married. Honestly, how did this happen?”

  He shrugged. “You couldn’t help yourself, Larissa. You never had a chance. I mean, come on. It’s me.”

  Which was both funny and completely the truth, she thought as she smiled at him. “You’re not all that.”

  “I would agree with you, except for this situation between us. It kind of proves my point.”

  “You’re so annoying.”

  He held out his arms.

  She hesitated for a second, then stepped into his embrace. It wasn’t like the one from a few nights ago. There was no erection, no kissing. Just the familiar feel of Jack’s arms around her.

  “Friends?” he asked.

  She nodded. “I wonder if Kenny would like to go out with me.”

  “Aren’t you the funny one? Want to go get dinner?”

  “Sure. I’m going to order the most expensive item on the menu.”

  “That’s my girl.”

  * * *

  ORDER WAS RESTORED to the Score family, at least on the surface. Larissa was grateful to have something close to normal in her relationship with Jack. They hung out together, she gave him massages—without him getting aroused—and together she and Percy teased him mercilessly about his somewhat pathetic attempt to have the birds-and-bees talk with a streetwise teen.

  But in her quiet moments, when she was alone, she wondered how she was supposed to move on with her life. How was she supposed to fall out of love with Jack and in love with someone else? Score sucked up all her time. While she hung out with her friends a lot, she rarely saw any man who didn’t work at Score, and the ones she did were engaged or married to her friends. While it seemed Fool’s Gold had a few good men around, she wasn’t meeting them. If only she’d been more excited about cowboy Zane.

  Larissa confirmed Jack’s foursome for the Pro-am, answered a couple of emails from previous recipients of Jack’s largess on the transplant front and was about to start on putting away the clean linens that had been delivered when her cell phone rang.

  “Hello?”

  “Larissa? It’s Dan. We have an emergency. Remember the lady in Stockton with the chiweenies? We finally got in and it’s as we feared. We have a hoarding situation. It seems like she started out with the best of intentions and then it all got out of hand. We’re heading down within the hour.”

  Larissa closed the linen cabinet and walked into the hallway. “What do you need?”

  “Help with the dogs. We’re going to take the rescue van with us. That should hold most of the dogs. Two other people are bringing SUVs so we have enough cargo space. What we need is help walking, feeding and watering the dogs. It’s only going to be a day or so. We’ll meet in north Sacramento tomorrow morning at seven and then drive down. Her place is east of Modesto by about thirty miles. We’ll collect the dogs and drive them back here. Once they’re evaluated, we’ll get them into foster homes. We’re going to need help with that, too.”

  She nodded. “I can be there at seven, no problem. As for fostering, just tell me how many dogs we’re talking about and I’ll find temporary homes.” She’d had great luck a couple of months ago with placing cats.

  “You’re a lifesaver.”

  Nothing that dramatic, she thought, but it was nice to be needed.

  * * *

  THE NEXT MORNING, Larissa was on the road by six, heading to Sacramento. She met up with the small caravan that would make its way down to Modesto to rescue forty chiweenies and they started south. She was a little tired from not having slept that well, but she must not have been the only one who was lagging a little. Halfway to their destination, they all pulled into a Starbucks for a pick-me-up.

  “It’s always the same,” one of the women was saying as Larissa joined the group. “Somebody thinks he or she can start breeding dogs, with absolutely no experience, of course. They get overwhelmed and suddenly they have fifty animals running around.”

  “Are they charging her with something?” a man asked.

  Dan shook his head. “No. She’s surrendering all the animals voluntarily, so she won’t be charged. The court will insist she not have more than two pets at any given time. If she has more, she can be charged with contempt.”

  “If you ask me they should stick her in a too-small cage for a few months,” another woman said, her expression fierce. “Then we’ll see how she likes it.”

  Larissa understood someone being ove
rwhelmed. She just wished the woman in question had asked for help sooner.

  The small caravan got back on the road. Larissa was the last car in the group. Radio reception wasn’t great but she managed to find an oldies station. The songs made her think of Kenny, who loved that kind of music. He would be in heaven.

  Twenty miles from Stockton, her car started to make a strange knocking sound. She made it through Stockton and down to Modesto where everyone turned east onto a very narrow two-lane road. According to what she’d been told, they still had about twenty-five miles to go. She glanced down at her temperature gauge and saw the needle all the way in the red band. Seconds later steam or smoke or something equally upsetting started to pour from the hood of her car. She pulled over as best she could on the tiny road and watched the caravan drive away. Before she could turn off the engine, it stopped on its own and everything was ominously silent.

  She couldn’t believe it. Really? This had to happen now? Not when she was driving in Fool’s Gold where she knew she could easily get her car fixed? She thought she was done messing up when she tried to help. After the whole incident with the snake and Angel, she’d vowed to be more careful with the type of creatures she got involved with. She was helping with chiweenies, for heaven’s sake. How could they hurt anyone? And her reward was a car breakdown?

  But that was all distraction and she knew it. If her car wasn’t working right it was because she hadn’t bothered to keep up with servicing.

  Her cell rang. She answered it.

  “Hey, you okay?” Dan asked.

  “I’m having car trouble,” she said. “Just go on without me. I’ll get back to Fool’s Gold somehow.”

  “Will do. You still up for taking in dogs to foster? They won’t be ready for about two days.”

  “No problem. Call when they are. I can place about eight with no problem.” There were plenty of people in town who had helped with her last cat rescue. She suspected they would be willing to foster cute chiweenies. She also thought Shelby might enjoy a temporary pet to make her feel at home. And Jack’s house was huge, so he could take several, especially with Percy to help her with the care.