Winning Back Ryan

by S. L. Siwik

  Brian blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. “You were a little…excited.”

  Ben laughed loudly. “Is that what we’re calling it?”

  I felt myself blush brightly as I held my face in my hands.

  “What the hell is wrong with me? I’m never ever drinking again.”

  “She doesn’t remember any of it. Don’t embarrass her,” Brian murmured quietly.

  “I smell bacon. Come on. Let’s go eat,” George said.

  They all stood up, Brian’s hand gently brushing my thigh.

  “I’ll make you a plate. You can take a few minutes to wake up, sweetheart.”

  I wiped the sleep from my eyes, trying to clean the cobwebs out of my head as I glanced around. I stood up, stretching my body out, cracking my neck. I took a deep breath before walking to the door.

  “Max, can you help me throw the garbage out?” I asked, motioning for him to follow me outside.

  “No way! He’s gotta cook!” George shouted. I threw him a dirty glare.

  Brian stood up.

  “I’ll watch the food. He can help you take out the garbage.” No one believed my nonsense lie. I didn’t care, though.

  Max rolled his eyes following me out as we closed the door behind us.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “What the hell happened last night?” I asked, shocked.

  “What don’t you remember?” Max asked.

  “Quite a bit,” I admitted.

  “Well, let me try and fill in the blanks. So, you stormed out because Brian was there with Ashley.”

  “Why did Brian even bring her?” I asked, interrupting Max’s story.

  “He told us during drinks that he had to take her out to make his boss happy, but that he was also trying to ‘motivate you’ to get your act together and want to be in a relationship with him.”

  “Why didn’t he just tell me?” I asked.

  Max laughed. “He didn’t know what to do. She was his boss’ daughter, so he couldn’t talk about her in front of her face. He thought you may remember him talking about his boss’ daughter, Ashley.”

  I shook my head, “I don’t remember that.” Max shrugged. “So, that’s his excuse?”

  “He messed up, and he knows it. He underestimated your feelings for him,” he said. My brow rose, questioning.

  “Don’t look at me,” Max replied before continuing on with the story. “So, we showed up at Ben’s, and you were not in the mood to talk to him. You were like a wild animal last night. Honestly, I don’t know how he controlled you,” Max said as a tenant walked by to use the garbage chute. I frowned at his comment, mortified by my behavior.

  “I couldn’t have been that bad,” I replied. Max’s head fell back as he laughed loudly. Uh oh.

  “When Brian showed up and tried explaining, you informed the guys that Brian and you needed to work out your problems. I thought you guys were just going to talk and I’d hear a lot of juicy info,” Max said, “But, no you wanted to wrestle with him! So, Ben and George rearranged the furniture to make space and started betting on who would win.”

  “Then what happened?” I asked, biting my nails.

  “Foreplay,” he replied.

  “Wait, I do have some memories of us actually wrestling together, though.”

  Max rolled his eyes dramatically. “You can call it whatever you want. You two were rolling around on the floor, looking for positions and excuses to rub your bodies against each other. I don’t call that wrestling. I call it foreplay.”

  I sighed. “So, then what happened?”

  “You pinned him down, he dry humped you, you stood up pulling him up with you, he squeezed your rear, you shoved him into the wall. He whispered something in your ear. I don’t know what, but it did the magic trick because you were all over him like white on rice.” I shook my head. “Then you two were just making out. Ben and George were watching. I told you two to go get a room. They hissed for me to shut up, enthralled watching you two. Ben called it ‘live porn’. A while later as you started grabbing for his shirt, I told you two to get a room again. Ben snapped at me and said the only way I wouldn’t be enjoying this was if I were gay. “

  “Uh oh,” My eyes widened. “That didn’t go well, did it?”

  Max folded his arms. “Brian looked at me, point blank, and asked me if I had sex with you. I decided to come clean because I could see in Brian’s eyes that he was going to maim me if I said otherwise. He’s a little frightening when it comes to you. So, I told them that I am gay and that you were just trying to help me by saying we were in a relationship. Everyone just shrugged then, Brian started kissing you again, and then Ben decided that I was staring at his from that point on. In fact, he went on about that for a few hours .”

  I sighed, shaking my head. “Only Ben. So, how do you feel about it?”

  “I’m okay, I think. Everything seems to be alright for the most part.”

  I placed my hand reassuringly on his shoulder.

  “Everything is going to be alright.”

  Max then continued the story. “Brian then commented that he technically won your wrestling match, and that he should earn something. You asked him what he wanted, and he said he wouldn’t mind calling you his girlfriend. Ben suggested for you to take the bedroom before you had sex on the living room floor. You pushed Brian into the room, closing the door….And I’m sure you know what came after that,” Max finished.

  I stared wide eyed in disbelief. “I need some female friends,” I muttered. All of my female friends, the ones George didn’t sleep with, had boyfriends the end of fourth year. They all moved away and were working hard on becoming Mrs. So-and-so. I had done the same, though. I abandoned nearly everything for Ryan. He had become my world. I only hung out with a few remaining friends, because it was all that I had time for after Ryan. Where did that get me? “Alright, let’s go back inside,” I said, dumping the bag of garbage into the chute as we turned to walk back inside.

  **

  All three men sat at the table, eating the breakfast that Max cooked, chatting about how the NASDAQ dropped two points. They glanced up when I entered and I smiled, sitting down.

  “So, we had a crazy night, huh?” I asked. All three nodded with various faces of amusement. “Listen, I just…” I took a deep breath, rubbing my neck. “I’m sorry guys. I’ve been a mess lately. I promise no more drama…for a while. Thanks for putting up with me.”

  “So what? You had a break up. We all knew it would be rough. You’re entitled to lose it once in a while. We all have, and you’ve been there for us. It was our turn to be there for you. A year from now, we’ll all be sitting here Sunday morning after a night of drinking and laugh about it all,” George replied.

  I smiled at the thought of being here in a year with my guys.

  “So, we’re all good?” I asked them.

  “Yup,” they all replied at the same time.

  As everyone dug into breakfast, I stared vacantly at the table, sipping on a cup of coffee.

  Ben elbowed me lightly in the side.

  “Whatcha thinkin’ about?” he asked before tearing apart a piece of buttered whole wheat toast.

  “I was wondering what’s going on with Ed. He disappeared after our soccer game, and I haven’t heard anything from him since. Have any of you talked to him? Amanda was there at the bar last night; I’m surprised he wasn’t.” Brian, George, and Ben exchange glances. “Come on; tell me what’s going on.”

  “Ed is at home quietly stewing after his shot of antibiotics,” Ben answered, smirking.

  “Why did Ed take antibiotics? Is he alright?” I asked concerned. I’d have to make him up a care package.

  Ben laughed. “He’s wanted Amanda since freshmen year of college. He finally sleeps with her a month ago, and she gives him gonorrhea!” Ben said, laughing.

  George nodded. “He was oozing green. It wasn’t pretty. ”

  I stared at him horrified. “Is she still infected?” I asked them. They all nodded.
My eyes widened at the realization. “Why didn’t you tell Ryan last night? He’s infected now, too.”

  They all snorted at my response. “Good,” Brian replied bitterness in his voice. “I hope it causes his balls to shrivel up and fall off.”

  “Guys!” I screamed. “How could you?”

  They all glared indignantly. “We didn’t tell him to have sex with Amanda,” George said.

  I shook my head, closing my eyes. “When did she become such a dirty whore?” I asked.

  They all shrugged.

  “When I slept with her, she was clean,” George said.

  “Same with me,” Ben said.

  “Same here. I was just tested. I’m clean,” Brian said.

  “I can’t believe you’ve all slept with her,” I commented in disgust.

  Ben shrugged. “Who hasn’t slept with her?”

  “I seriously need some female friends,” I grumbled before ripping apart a piece of toast.

  “Speaking of female friends. Did you see the announcement? Beth is getting married,” Max said.

  “Poor Todd,” All four men said at the same time.

  “So, are we going?” Ben asked. “I could use a vacation in California. The chicks out there are way sluttier than here in New York.”

  “I don’t do planes,” I said. “I’ll send a gift.”

  “I think Brian will be able to talk you into going,” George said. My eyes questioned the meaning of his statement. “He can show you all about the mile high club.” He winked. I glanced at Brian on my right who shot our friend a dirty glance.

  “Alright, I have to get going,” I replied, pushing my chair back to stand up.

  “Wait. You’re not hanging out with us today?” Ben asked.

  I shook my head. My head was way too much of a mess right now to be able to pretend. I wanted to get Brian alone and figure out what happened. Plus, I was so hung over; I felt like total crap.

  I walked around the apartment, straightened up, and I removed Brian’s and my evidence of the night before from the nightstand. I pulled the sheets off the bed, folded up the comforter, cleaned up the dishes, loaded the dishwasher, and just generally tidied up.

  “You do realize the cleaning lady is coming to do this today,” Ben finally said, watching me walk around the apartment.

  “It makes me feel better to know I didn’t leave the place messier than when I came. Just let me do this, alright?” I tossed out the empty containers of Thai food.

  He raised his hands in a placating gesture that said he wouldn’t interfere again. I gave Max a kiss on the cheek, thanking him for cooking breakfast. I hugged Ben and George good-bye, and Brian suggested we head back together and share a cab. I agreed to the idea before heading to the door.

  **

  It was an uncomfortable cab ride back for Brian and me as we made our way to the train station. We’ve been sitting in total silence, because I hadn’t a clue what to say. It was hot and muggy outside, and the cab driver had the air conditioner blasting. The windows were soon fogged, and I could no longer glance out the window. I drew a heart into the window and smiled. It made the world look far more romantic now.

  It was Brian who broke the silence first.

  “Are we going to talk about this?” he asked.

  “Talk about what?” I asked, staring out the window. I knew that I was just prolonging the inevitable talk.

  “About what happened last night.”

  “What about it?” I asked, still staring out the window.

  “We had sex. We’re not going to talk about it?” he asked.

  “Brian,” I said in a subdued voice, “I don’t remember it. I don’t know what to say. I’m just glad you thought it was incredible.”

  He frowned. “You remember nothing?” I watched pain sear through his eyes. For a second, I thought about lying. I shook my head instead. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

  “You have no reason to be. We did it, we had fun. No big deal.” I tried to sound as aloof as possible.

  “Annie,” he touched my shoulder. I didn’t turn immediately. “Please look at me.” He ran his hand through his hair, and sighed long and slow. “I have been yours since the first night I met you. I swear on everything holy that I didn’t…” he swallowed hard, his eyes flashed again with pain. “force you or…make you do something you didn’t want.”

  “I believe you,” I said softly, my hand caressing his cheek.

  “Really?” His eyes held such hope.

  I nodded. “Really.” He flashed me such a beautiful smile. “The truth is that I’m embarrassed about what I did. I don’t have sex outside of relationships. I’m also disappointed in myself that I drank that much alcohol to black out and not remember sleeping with someone. I’m just glad it was you. I’m also mad at myself because I can’t remember. You and me together…” I touched his chest, “That’s definitely something that I wanted to remember.” His eyes watched me with such warmth as he gave me his gorgeous smile. “That’s what’s going on with me right now…I’m not upset at you or mad. Every negative feeling is towards myself for my stupidity. Plus, I’m horribly hung over.”

  Brian patted his chest, and I laid my head down as he rubbed my back. I felt so horrible that I loved the comforting gesture.

  We arrived at the train station, and I slipped the money out of my wallet to pay the cab. Brian waved me off, paying the man.

  “We were supposed to share, remember? You wanted to share the cab.”

  Brian smiled widely. “Yeah, I wanted to share the backseat with you. I didn’t want to share the cost.”

  “You were just trying to get me close to you, perv,” I teased.

  “You figured me out,” he said before stepping out of the car.

  **

  We were lucky that the timing was right and our train waited as we stepped on.

  We sat in silence for a moment, before he asked, “So, what’s going on with us?”

  “First, let’s talk about our living arrangement. You know, money.” I shook my head. “I can’t keep living there.”

  He looked out the window in front of us for a moment before turning back towards me.

  “For now, I expect nothing from you. When you’re out of your lease, I’d like you to move in with me permanently.” I sat there shocked as I waited for him to continue. “I want to save up for a house. If you live with me I can save more. I know my apartment is nearly half the size of your current one, but there are all of those amenities.”

  I nodded. It would be difficult to pull rent on my own. I could do it, but there’d be very little money for anything else. Brian’s apartment was much smaller than mine, and he paid more than I did, so my costs would increase. But, living with a friend was much better than moving in with some random stranger. Wait a minute! Why was I even debating this? This was Brian we were talking about. I’d get to live with Brian, my best friend. This would be awesome! I’d have to do something about his early morning energy, though.

  “You’re right. There are a lot of amenities.” I kissed his cheek. “Like the ridiculously sexy man that will be there tempting me every second of every day.” He turned his head toward me, as I heard him take a ragged breath. “Tell me, would I be able to wake up to that gorgeous window view every morning with your arms wrapped around me?”