by Lisa Jordan
She and Griffin climbed out of the car and headed for the back door, leading into the kitchen.
Dad’s jean-clad legs protruded from beneath the kitchen sink. A bucket, rags and tools cluttered the floor around him.
“Hey, Grandpa.”
“Hey, Griff. What are you doing here?”
“Mom and I came to help Gina pack up.” Griffin stooped and peered under the sink. “What are you doing?”
“Taking a nap.”
“Huh. You sure pick the funniest places to sleep.”
Dad’s laugh echoed in the confined space. Metal clanked against metal, then a minute later, he slid out from under the sink, holding a pipe wrench. Standing, he set it on the counter and turned on the faucet. “Hey, Griff. Look under there and tell Gramps if you see any water dripping.”
Griffin dropped on all fours and stuck his head under the sink. “Nope, all good.” He backed out and stood.
Dad turned off the water and started cleaning up his mess. Griffin helped by gathering scattered tools on the floor.
Trying not to let the hurt of not even a hello from Dad bother her, Zoe nodded toward the other room. “I’m...uh...going to find Gina and give her a hand packing.”
She left the kitchen and headed for the living room. As she put her foot on the bottom step, her eyes lingered on the painting hanging above the fireplace.
She lost count of the number of times she’d lain on the couch in the quiet of the morning and stared at the painted image of two sets of hands—tanned, masculine ones cupping smaller milk-colored ones with a butterfly-shaped birthmark on the inner right wrist. A blue butterfly sat in the child’s palms.
A father’s promise to love and protect. She fingered the butterfly pendant around her throat.
“Zoe.”
She turned to find Dad striding into the living room, his lips thinned and nostrils flaring.
Uh-oh. What had she done now? Her stomach turned over.
Feet apart and hands on his hips, he growled. “Why did you tell Griffin about the Jacobys’ petition for custody?”
Forcing herself to remain calm, Zoe explained what had happened at the park. “I wasn’t going to lie to him.”
Dad rested an elbow on the banister and rubbed a hand across his jaw. “I don’t think it was a wise choice.”
That didn’t surprise her. She couldn’t measure up to his standards these days.
Instead of saying what she was thinking, she schooled her voice into a respectful tone. “I wasn’t going to lie to him. The kid’s smart. He picks up on things. This way we can answer questions he may have and help him deal with the situation.”
“I just don’t want his world turned upside down again.” He leveled her with a direct look.
Again.
She shook her head, tired of walking on eggshells around him. Maybe if he knew how she really felt... Tears warmed the backs of her eyes, but she sniffed, hoping they didn’t run down her cheeks and add to her humiliation. “I know I’m out of the running for Mother of the Year, but I’m working hard to rebuild my life after the mistakes I’ve made. I made a promise to my son that we’re going to be a family again, and I’m going to do everything in my power to keep that promise, even if it means taking on the Jacobys. In the meantime, maybe you could cut me a little slack and realize I’m not a complete screw-up anymore.” She turned and started up the stairs.
“Zoe, no one said anything about you being a screw-up.” Dad sighed. Fatigue and resignation laced his words. “It’s just—”
“You don’t trust me. It’s almost as if the past year has meant nothing.” She tossed her hands up, tired of having the same argument with him. At least Mom could see she had changed, so why was Dad being so stubborn about it?
“That’s not what I said.”
“That’s what you implied.”
Dad waved a hand across the room. “This place has been a safety net for you, Zoe. Sure, you could come and go as you pleased, but you’ve been sheltered here a little bit.” He jerked a thumb toward the window at the base of the staircase. “Out there...on your own...there’s no one to shelter you.”
“Shelter me from what?”
“People aren’t always kind. They can judge you based on who your parents are and what they did. Do you really want Griffin to deal with that?” A hollow look eclipsed his eyes as his shoulders sagged.
Zoe’s heart softened, realizing Dad wasn’t talking about her son. She walked down a couple of steps until she could meet him at eye level and rested a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry for what you went through with your parents, Dad.”
“Zoe, they passed out in a snow bank on Christmas Eve and froze to death because they were too drunk to drive home. No matter how many times they promised to stop drinking, they didn’t. I spent the next eight years in and out of foster homes until I could be on my own.”
”I know, Dad, and I’m sorry you had to go through that. And I’m sorry for what I put you through. I’m sure you’ve had to deal with your own share of judgments because of your family.”
“I wanted better for you and Ian, even if that meant making some tough choices for your own good. As your mother and I said when you left Agape House to handle your life on your own—we wanted to be sure you’re ready for the demands of parenting right now. You agreed to waiting six months to get your life back on track before taking Griff back full-time.”
“And I’ve been doing everything in my power to make the right choices, Dad. I’m not trying to reason with you to buy me a new car. This is my child’s life we’re talking about. Those six months may be six years to a little boy who has been begging to come and live with me again. He wants what his friends have—a family with a mom and a dad. I can’t give him back his dad, but I can try like crazy to make sure he doesn’t lose me again. It’s my right to have custody of him again.”
“I understand how you feel, Zoe, but remember—you lost that right four years ago. We are his full-time guardians right now, so let us handle the Jacobys. I promise you, we’ll protect Griffin.”
The door to the kitchen slammed, causing Zoe to jump and Dad to spin around.
Griffin stood in the doorway, tears trailing down his cheeks. “I hate it when you guys fight about me. I wish I wasn’t even born. If they make me live with my other grandparents, I’ll run away. You promised me I’d live with you, Mom. You can’t break a promise once you make it.” He turned and ran back through the kitchen, his feet pounding against the floor. The back door slammed, and Harper barked.
Zoe hurried down the steps, but Dad held up a hand. “I’ll go talk to him.”
“But—”
“Let me handle it, Zoe. I’ll make sure he understands we’re doing everything we can to keep the custody petition from going anywhere.” Without giving her a chance to reply, Dad pushed through the kitchen door and went after Griffin.
Zoe sat on the step and wrapped her arms around her drawn-up legs as she tried to stop her body from shaking. Every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was Griffin’s distraught expression. The last thing she wanted to do was cause her little boy any more pain. Now she simply had to try harder to mend his broken heart and keep her promises.
* * *
“Earth to Z.” Gina snapped her fingers in front of Zoe’s face. “Girl, what’s going on with you today?”
Zoe blinked several times, pulling her away from replaying what happened with Griffin a short time ago. “Sorry. My mind was elsewhere.”
Gina flicked her cocoa-colored braid over her shoulder and dropped the folded red sweater in the open box on her hastily made bed. “Apparently. You haven’t heard anything I’ve said for the past ten minutes. Everything okay?”
Sighing, Zoe reached for a blue peasant blouse and folded it. “Before you arrived, Dad and I had a fi
ght. Griffin heard part of it and got upset.”
“I’m sorry, hon. Anything I can do?”
Zoe sat on the bed and twisted the folded shirt in her hands. “Unless you can turn back time, then no, but thanks.”
Gina sat next to her and rested an arm around her shoulders. “Girl, if I could turn back time, neither one of us would have met because we wouldn’t have made the mistakes in the first place and ended up here.”
Zoe gave her friend a quick hug. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad I met you.”
“Me, too. Speaking of meeting...who’s the hottie I saw you walking with in the park this morning?”
Zoe’s head jerked up to see the smirk on Gina’s face. “Sully’s just a friend. And a client. What were you doing at the park? I didn’t see you.”
She shrugged, then pushed off the bed and shuffled to her dresser where she gathered her makeup. “Yeah, well, your concentration was elsewhere. I was...uh...heading home from work.”
“How are things at work?” Zoe tried to catch her friend’s gaze in the mirror and didn’t like the way Gina wouldn’t meet her eyes. For the past three months, she’d been working as a telephone sales agent at a local call center for a clothing distributor.
“Great.” She smiled a little too brightly and leaned against the dresser, crossing her arms. “And don’t change the subject.”
“There’s nothing to talk about, G. Sully and his daughters are clients. That’s it.”
“Well, he won’t need your dog-training services forever. Maybe he could be more than a client.” She zipped her makeup bag closed and tossed it on her bed.
Zoe dropped the now wrinkled blouse on the bed and headed for the window. She pushed it open and leaned on the sill, allowing the air to cool her face. “Yeah, well, I don’t need the complications of a relationship right now. I need to focus on getting Griffin back and having some sort of normal life.”
“Normal? What’s normal, huh?” Gina pulled pictures of her daughters wedged in the frame of the mirror and dropped them in a basket next to her Bible, which was coated with a fine layer of dust.
Gina’s fair skin, large blue eyes and petite frame reminded Zoe of a porcelain doll—pretty to look at, but quite fragile and easily broken if handled roughly. She tempered the lecture teetering on her tongue and smiled. “You know, Gina—this is our second chance. Not everyone gets that. We can’t screw it up.”
Gina pulled open the top dresser drawer and scooped out an armful of socks. She dropped them in an empty duffel bag on the bed. “I hear you. Mom’s been hassling me already, and I haven’t even moved in yet.”
“She loves you. She wants what’s best for you.”
Gina toyed with the zipper on the bag a moment, then looked at Zoe with vulnerability brightening her eyes. “What if I can’t do this, Z?”
Zoe walked over to her and placed her hands on her shoulders. “You can. You’ve spent the past year preparing for a fresh start. A do-over. And you’re not alone. Your daughters are cheering you on. Plus you have your mom, and you’ve got me. I believe in you.”
“I’m not strong like you, Z. I can only hope to do half as well. You’re getting your life back on track.”
“It takes work, Gina, but stop selling yourself short. You made a mistake. You paid for it, and now you’re doing great. Focus on being the kind of mom your girls need.”
“I hate it, you know? Trying to convince the judges, the lawyers, the world we’re not losers. After a while, it’s easier to believe it than to fight it.”
“Oh, sweetie, I totally get that. I do, but your daughters love you. Focus on them and be the best mom you can be. It will work out, you’ll see.”
Even though she tried to sound hopeful for Gina, Zoe wasn’t so sure she believed her own words. She talked a good game, but on the inside she was a jumbled mass of nerves. What if she lost Griffin? She couldn’t deal with that. Not again.
Chapter Six
With Griffin at a friend’s house, Mom and Dad out of town for some insurance dinner thing and Ian and Agnes hanging out at her mother’s, Zoe had the evening to herself.
And she was bored.
She sat on the front porch in the wooden rocker built by her great-grandfather and rested her crossed ankles on the porch railing.
Thunder rumbled through the trees as spears of lightning lit up the charcoal-colored sky. Rain bulleted the lake and pounded the ground. Streams of water ran off the roof and furrowed crevices alongside the cabin. The steady patter of rain on the metal roof wasn’t enough to soothe her restlessness.
The wind blew water onto the covered porch, wetting Zoe’s bare feet and dotting the wooden planks. The cool moving air offered respite from the humidity that had shrouded the valley all afternoon.
Zoe pushed herself out of the rocking chair and headed inside to get a towel to dry her skin.
She stepped over Harper, who lay on a braided rug at her feet. Harper lifted her head, then dropped it back down on her front paws and sighed.
Crouching down, Zoe ran her hand through the canine’s silky fur. “I hear you, girl.”
She loved the solitude of the cabin, but on days like this one, she felt isolated.
Almost...lonely.
She didn’t expect her family to be her social director, but a friend to chat with over coffee would be nice. She wasn’t even going to hope for a guy to snuggle up with while watching a movie or listening to the rain. She didn’t deserve that.
But that didn’t stop Sully’s face from appearing in her mind.
Spending every day this past week with him and his girls had filled her heart with a warmth she hadn’t experienced in a long time.
With Riley taking to commands so quickly, Zoe wasn’t quite sure how long Sully would even need her services. The girls were doing well, and he was capable of handling things on his own.
She didn’t want to call and cancel their morning classes, though. She loved that hour they spent together, even if the girls and the dog were their main focuses. At least she was with him.
But she had to stop that line of thinking. Now, if only her heart would listen...
Tired of being bored and afraid she was about to invite herself to a pity party of one, Zoe opened the screen door and headed inside the cabin with Harper at her heels.
Even with the windows open and the fans going, the cabin interior felt like a furnace.
A lingering scent of her dad’s paint and solvent floated among the exposed beams. Once she found a clean towel and dried her feet, she padded across the hardwood floor and plopped on the hunter-green braided rug in front of Mom’s bulging bookcase.
A stack of books lay on top. She had promised to drop them off to the girls at Agape House.
She could deliver the books once the rain died down. Maybe she could swing by Gina’s mom’s to see how things were going with her and the girls. She didn’t want her friend to think she was checking up on her.
For now, she’d find something to read to combat the loneliness that shadowed her evening. She pulled out a paperback and flipped it over to read the back when headlights flashed through the window and tires crunched on the gravel next to the cabin.
Harper barked and ran to the door, pawing at the wooden frame.
She wasn’t expecting anyone.
She slid the book back onto the shelf and strode to the front door.
She pushed through the screen door to see Sully striding through the rain, carrying a cloth grocery bag. He climbed the steps and ducked under the porch roof. He dropped the bag on the porch, took off his baseball cap and shook the water from his hair.
With one hand bracing the open screen door and another shoved in the pocket of her shorts, Zoe tried to maintain her composure.
His hair darkened from being wet. Raindrops dotted his blu
e sweatshirt and faded jeans. He tugged on the hem of his shirt and used it to dry his face. Wetness dampened the hair on his exposed forearms.
He shifted his weight to his left leg and lifted a hand. “Hey.”
“Sully, what are you doing here?” She stepped onto the porch, the door closing behind her.
He bent to lift the bags. “I bought ice cream, but didn’t want to eat alone. Care to join me?”
“What flavor?”
“Fudge brownie delight.”
“My favorite.”
“I remember. Getting ice cream with you is one of my favorite college memories.”
“Come on in. Where are the girls?” She stood back, holding the door open to let him pass.
He brushed past her, leaving a trail of masculine musk and the scent of rain. “Sarah took them to see a movie.”
“You didn’t want to go?”
“I’m sure they’re ready for a break from me. Plus, Ella will be singing the songs for the next week.”
“Single parenting isn’t easy.” Not that she’d really know. Zoe stepped away from him and headed for the kitchen. She pulled two green ceramic bowls out of the cupboard and sifted through the silverware drawer for two spoons and an ice cream scoop.
“It definitely has its challenges, but I wouldn’t trade the girls for anything. My sister is a huge help, too.”
“What is Sarah up to these days? I haven’t seen her since your graduation. I think she was a senior in high school or something?”
“Good memory. She graduated high school a month after I graduated college. She lives halfway between here and Pittsburgh, close to my parents. She’s a youth leader at a large church, working with their teen outreach program. She’s engaged to the church’s worship leader and getting married at the end of October.” Sully wandered over to the painting of a cowboy in a canyon. “Nice painting.”
Zoe set the dishes on the table and crossed the room to stand next to him. “My dad painted that last summer. Even though the cowboy is alone in the canyon with the high walls around him, I imagine his strength and endurance in facing obstacles.”
