The Big Ten: The First Ten Books of the Beginnings Series

by Jacqueline Druga

  Joe finally opened the door. “I’ll see you at dinner tonight, Ellen. Dean bring my twins?” Getting agreement, Joe left.

  Henry stared upon the closed door. “How come I never get invited to Joe’s house for Sunday dinner? Dean does, he’s not family.”

  Ellen gasped at his comment. “Dean, tell Henry that you are the father of my twins. And you’ve always come to Sunday dinner . . .”

  “Ellen!” Dean shouted at her. “Will you knock it off? I’m busy!”

  Ellen’s mouth dropped open with a loud exclamation. “I can’t believe you just yelled at me like that. Fine.” She snatched the stack of paper from his hand. “I’ll just go sit in a corner somewhere. And work by myself.”

  Dean looked up to the ceiling and in his own mind spoke the words, ‘Thank God.’ Perhaps there would be silence in the lab. Silence always worked best for him when he was trying to read.

  ^^^^

  Ellen could hear the sound of children laughing as she approached her front door later that afternoon. How odd it sounded. The last she knew the twins were over Andrea’s until Dean made it home. Expecting to be pummeled with the hugs of her children, Ellen open the door to a different sight. She could see Frank’s back as he sat on the couch. He leaned forward watching a tape that played in the unit set upon the coffee table. The scene he watched was dim, yet happy. She heard familiar voices.

  ‘Hi Daddy. I miss you. I wish you were here.’

  ‘Daddy I’m this many years old today.’

  ‘Frank, don’t worry, I’m filling in for you bro. I hope I don’t get stuck with the bill.’

  Then Ellen shuddered when she heard her own. ‘Frank, you’re an asshole.’

  Ellen remembered that party, and that day. Frank was in Germany for a whole year back then. It was something Ellen really didn’t want to see. Calmly she shut the door and walked into her house, trying to swallow the lump that formed in her throat. She ran her hand lightly across Frank’s back. “What’s going on? Why the tape today?” She asked quietly.

  Frank shrugged. “Amber’s birthday today. She would have been thirteen. Thirteen, El.” He picked up the remote control and fast forwarded over a scene with Kelly.

  Kelly. How long had it been since Ellen really thought of her. She understood Frank does not want to see Kelly. With all the years that passed, Frank never got better with the fact that she had killed his daughters, he grew worse. Reaching the point where rationalizing her actions, or forgiving them would never happen.

  “Better.” He pressed play when he saw a child’s face. “You want to watch with me?”

  “I don’t . . .” Ellen heard her own voice on the tape, her own voice laughing and coughing, saying, ‘Taylor look at your face honey. Robbie, get a shot of this for Frank.’ Before Ellen watched the camera swing to her daughter who would have been three at the time, the daughter who had stuck her entire face in the pizza that day, Ellen jumped back and walked away. “I don’t want to see this.” She covered her ears and held back any emotions.

  Frank stopped the tape. Eerily the image of Ellen kissing her daughter freeze framed. He stood from the couch, and tried to speak to her with reason, pulling down her hands. “El, that’s your daughter. You can’t even look at your own daughter?”

  “You deal with it your way; I’ll deal with it mine.”

  “You can’t avoid their memories and pretend they never existed. You have to be able to look at her.”

  Ellen coldly faced him. “I can’t look at her or Josh anymore, Frank. Every day I think of them. It still hurts. I can’t look at that beautiful little face without remembering how I held her in my arms, how I watched her die. I put it behind me, Frank, that’s how I live now. ” She stepped back.

  “El, please.” Frank spoke soothingly to her. “Share this with me. Sit with me like we used to. Right after it all happened.” He wrapped his arms tightly around her from behind. “We’d watch for hours and hours. And we’d laugh, cry. Come on.” He pressed his cheek close to hers.

  “What’s the point, that was a different Ellen? I don’t want to be like that ever again.”

  “But don’t the twins deserve for you to be like that again?”

  “What are you saying?”

  “Look at the screen, El.” He placed his hand on her face and felt her resistance. “I want you to take a look at yourself.” He led her face to the television. “Open your eyes and look at who you were. Look at you smiling and kissing her. You loved those children more than life itself. You love the twins the same. But because someone took your babies from you, you won’t allow yourself to be with them like you were with Josh and Taylor. I just . . .” He laid his hand on her cheek. “I just want you to be able to think of them and smile. Watch them with me. Life gives and life takes. Let’s watch the gift that life once gave us.”

  Softly Ellen’s eyes closed. “Frank.” She whispered out. “I would love to do that. But . . . unfortunately, I can’t. That was a lifetime ago. A lifetime I buried. You may be able to bask in the memories, but I, Frank . . . I drown.” Sadly, Ellen turned and walked up the stairs.

  ^^^^

  Always on time Dean was, and he didn’t know why he did that. No one else ever was. He sat on the couch in Joe’s house, feet tapping, waiting, dreading. He hated when Frank walked in because from that moment on he lost his children to the giant play thing. And as it happened he cringed. The front door opened with a blasting growl from Frank followed by shrieks of enjoyment from his twins. Dean couldn’t comprehend what the point of all the thumping and noise was. But he dreaded one other thing. Ellen’s entrance.

  “What is he doing here?” No Hello, just yelling as Ellen entered nodding her head Henry’s way as he sat in the couch.

  Henry answered for himself, he stood up in a subconscious gentleman fashion. “Joe invited me, Ellen. He thought . . .”

  “Joe!” Ellen called into the kitchen. “Why is he here?”

  Joe, busy, just answered without coming out. “I invited him.”

  “Ellen.” Henry tailed the pacing around Ellen like a puppy. “You can’t avoid me forever.”

  “Frank, tell Henry please, that I’m not avoiding him.” She faced her husband. “I just won’t speak to him.”

  Frank looked past her to Henry. “She says to tell you she’s not avoiding . . .”

  “I heard her, Frank. Ellen, we have to talk about this. You can’t put all the blame on me. You were in on it too.”

  Ellen grew angry at that comment. “Frank, tell him please that he’s not helping matters by trying to pass it off on me.”

  “Henry, Ellen says you aren’t . . .”

  “Frank!” Henry interrupted. “I heard her.” Deciding at that moment to give the appearance that he could care less, he too turned his back. “Fine Frank, you know what? Tell her I could care less if she ever speaks to me again.”

  “El, Henry said to tell you that he could care less. Henry, keep in mind.” Frank looked disturbed. “I won’t yell at my wife for you.”

  Dean, having heard just about enough, stood up from the couch with his hands slapping in his thighs. “Joe!” He called for help. “Do something here. The intelligent conversation in this room is way too much for me.”

  Joe came from the kitchen drying his hands on the dish towel that hung over his shoulder. “I hope to God that someone isn’t ruining my family dinner . . . Henry?”

  Henry defended himself. “Joe, I just want to work things out with her.”

  Ellen stepped forward. “Joe, tell Henry that I feel he’s ungrateful. He forgets that I was the only one that didn’t make fun at him over that wall. I stood by him and fought Frank.”

  “Joe.” Henry interrupted. “Tell Ellen she’s right. Tell her I’m sorry.”

  Dean couldn’t believe it. “No Henry she’s not right. Don’t you do it, too? Don’t you become another Ellen sap. Aren’t Frank and I . . .” Dean slowed his words when he saw Ellen stepping closer to him, glaring at him. “ . . . enough. I
think I better shut up.”

  Ellen dropped her glare and faced Henry. “Thank you, an apology is all I’ve ever wanted.”

  “That’s all?” Henry asked. “Well why didn’t you just say so?”

  “I wasn’t speaking to you remember?” She rolled her head as if to say ‘didn’t you pay attention?’

  Joe cleared his throat loudly. “Now that this whole things over with, I’ll put dinner on the table and we can sit down civilized.”

  Frank, who still held Alexandra in his arms, approached Ellen and kissed her on the cheek. “I’m glad you are speaking to my friend now. I hated being the entire conversation.”

  “Uncle Frank?” Alexandra’s spoke in a whisper as she pulled on his short goatee.

  “Yes, honey?” He tried playfully to catch her tiny fingers with his mouth.

  “I can I sleep at your house tonight?”

  “Sure.” He smiled brightly. “You want to be with Mommy?”

  “Nope.” She placed her small hands on his face and kissed him. “I want to be with you.”

  Frank was stunned, his mouth dropped opened and he looked to Ellen who gasped in offense. With such a clueless look, Frank just shook his head, but when he turned from Ellen, he kissed Alexandra and grinned.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  April 27

  What was this formula that he was looking at? Dean pondered as he stared at the computer screen in the cryo-lab. What exactly were they trying to build. They still had over two hundred disks and tapes to go through. This disk obviously contained the formula for some sort of agent, and Dean hadn’t a clue what it was. He didn’t even have the ingredients anymore to make it. But that wasn’t what he was supposed to be looking for. Looking around, almost as if he were sneaking, he waited for the disk to copy to the tape drive. When it had finished, he labeled the disk and stuck it in a box. The box Dean had set aside for things he himself would examine at a later time. Dean grabbed the next one that he had. He was the final one to view the disks. In fact Dean liked when everyone worked together in the lab. Ellen and Johnny would view them, if they knew what they were, they printed it, if they didn’t it went to Chester or Dean. Dean always had the final look. He still didn’t trust Chester, no one did. And Henry, he checked out the equipment, just to figure out the mechanical aspects of it.

  “Dean.” Henry’s voice called to him.

  Dean lifted his eyes and immediately was startled by the bright, sudden burst of light in his face. He shrieked and rubbed his eyes. “Henry, what the hell did you just do to me?”

  “I took your picture. Here.” A smiling Henry handed him an instant photo. “Check this out Dean. A camera, there’s a ton of photo stuff. I found a locked case and broke it open.”

  “Henry . . .” Dean tried to rub away the green spots that floated in front of him. “We weren’t supposed to look at their supplies yet.” He checked out his picture. “Oh great, the first picture taken in Beginnings and I look like a idiot.” He tossed it aside.

  “Dean.” Henry leaned on the counter holding the camera. “Since this is your domain. Could I be in charge of the camera stuff? Can I be the picture taker?”

  “Yes, but I want it to be used sparingly. Pictures of special events. Stuff like that. And no self portraits. Got it?”

  “Got it. Thanks.” He turned. “Hey Ellen, smile.” He snapped a picture.

  Ellen screamed. “Henry, no. God that was the best part of society being gone. No more pictures. Don’t show me, I don’t want to see.”

  Henry shook and blew the picture. “All right. I’ll give it to Frank.” He shoved it in his pocket. “Hey Chester . . .” He saw Chester’s grin and Henry turned away. “Never mind.”

  “Sparingly.” Dean called, shaking his head and tapping the keys.

  With a crash of his stool, and scuffling of things next to him, Johnny jumped to his feet. “Dean!” He cried out. “I found something. I think.”

  Dean rushed over and looked at the screen. “Yes, you did.” He ran his hand over Johnny’s head, messing his hair. “This is the beginning. What disk is this?”

  “Two-seventy-two.”

  “Yes.” Dean said excited. “The cryogenics process. Good job, Johnny.” He faced everyone that has gathered. “All right. All we have to do is check the later numbers, hopefully find the information about this equipment and reversal process, then . . .” Dean smiled. “We’re on our way.”

  ^^^^

  Frank hated spring. Especially mornings, it always stirred up his allergies. Allergies he never had until he came to Beginnings and started walking perimeters at six in the morning. But usually, around eight, they really acted up. His head would start to pound with pressure, his eyes would water and he’d swear out loud every time he’d sneeze. The thing he hated most about them was the fact that he eventually had to break down and go to Dean for some relief.

  Sniffling like the fool he felt like, Frank moved up the small grade to the back fence. He could see three squirrels as he approached, dead, as usual, carcasses half blown apart. He dreaded having to toss them back out, but they couldn’t just lay there.

  Frank neared the fence and squatted down to the bodies. “Felt the heat huh?” He spoke to them in a taunting manner. “Didn’t look . . .” A snap took Frank’s attention, followed by an overwhelming stench. From the top of Frank’s eyes he caught the vision of beat up shoes. Very beat up, feat half hanging out. He raised his vision and stood up as he did. Even through his stuffed head, he could smell the young man standing before him. His clothes, Beginnings issued, torn and tattered. He looked a little older, his blonde hair hung past his shoulders. He still had a baby face, not a sign of facial hair. Covering his nose with the back of his hand, Frank moved back from the gate. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know how to feel. Complete shock took over him.

  “Home.” The distant eyed young man spoke. A young man probably not even sixteen yet. “Home.” Trembling he reached out his hand.

  “NO!” Frank shouted. “Don’t touch the fence!”

  “Home.” He reached out.

  “I said NO!” Frank used his loudest and strongest tone.

  The young man’s hand withdrew.

  “Fuck.” Frank ran his hand over his face. “What am I suppose to do with you?” He breathed heavily.

  “Home.” The voice was soft and sad.

  “Yeah wait, give me a second.” Frank brought the mouth piece to his headset up. “Down the back gate, I have one.” He looked to the boy. “Don’t touch the fence.” He held up one finger. “Wait.” Frank waited for the sound that the perimeter was shut down and he reached for his keys. “I’m gonna be a dead man when my dad gets hold of me.” He unlocked the fence. “You hear me? Dead man.” He opened the fence for the skinny boy.

  “Home.” He stepped through.

  “So you’ve said.” Frank shut and locked the gate. He spoke in his radio. “Turn her on. I’m done.” He reached to grabbed hold of the boy’s arm but stopped. “Just follow me, I’m not touching you.” Frank began to lead him to the receiving center.

  ^^^^

  Joe received Frank’s call about the survivor who wandered to the gate. He questioned why Frank didn’t call Ellen, but Joe figured he had his reason. Knowing George and Henry would be behind shortly, Joe arrived at his office and walked in. “Frank, I hope . . . holy shit! What’s that smell?”

  Frank leaned against Joe’s desk. “It stops burning your nose after a while.”

  “Open a window or something.” Joe covered his nose.

  “I did.” Frank crossed his arms.

  “Christ my eyes are watering. What’s up?” Joe apprehensively, trying not to breath, sat.

  “This.” Frank reached his arm into the examining room and pulled out the boy.

  Joe immediately sprung up. “What is this shit, Frank? You know the rules.”

  “I know.” He pulled him in closer. “But our rules have changed in the past year.”

  “He was ousted. Take him
back out.” Joe didn’t want to hear or see him.

  “Yeah but he was ousted for something others are allowed to stay over now.” Frank argued. “Dad, Ellen loved this kid. It broke her heart when we ousted him.”

  “Ellen loved him because he reminded her of her son that died. And Christ Frank, she changed his name and started calling him Josh. No, Frank. Get him out.”

  “He’s a kid, Dad.” Frank pulled him in the room. “Look at him, look at Josh.”

  “Jason.” Joe corrected. “And I don’t give a shit.”

  Josh lowered his head, then tilted it to Joe. “Home?”

  Frank leaned whispered to the kid. “I told you not to speak.”

  The door to the office opened and George and Henry burst through with the universal comment. “What is that smell?”

  Henry covered his face then noticed Josh in the room. “Joe, is that?”

  Joe nodded. “This is why Frank wants us here. Seems Josh slash Jason, found his way back. Frank wants to keep him here. I told him take him back out.”

  Frank held up his hands, he try to hide his frustration. “Look, before you two agree with my Dad. Just listen to me. My wife loved this kid. We all felt bad when we ousted him. He’s what? Sixteen? He’s a kid. I’m asking you to let him stay. I’ll take full responsibility for him. I’ll work with him. He can walk a beat with me from sun up till sun down.”

  Henry had to be logical. “Frank, you’re intentions are good, but Josh has been out there almost another year. He’s not going to be better, he’ll be worse. Then what’s Ellen going to say when we oust him again?”

  Frank agreed, but still tried his best. “How about this? We won’t tell Ellen he’s here. We’ll keep him by himself in holding when he’s not with me. I’ll work out my rounds so I’ll stay out of the general population with him. Just give me three weeks. If in three weeks he’s not ready to go into containment with Ellen, then I’ll send him out myself.”

  Joe saw the determination on Frank’s face. He knew why he son wanted to do this. It wasn’t only for Ellen, it was for himself. And Joe had to think too. If they could just save Josh, it would be one less kid lost to the world again. Turning to Henry and George, Joe knew the looks on their faces, they were in agreement with him. “All right Frank. I’ll give you your three weeks. I want you to bring me this kid every once and a while to let me see your progress. I won’t say anything to Ellen, but if she finds out, it’s your ass, not ours.”