The Big Ten: The First Ten Books of the Beginnings Series

by Jacqueline Druga

“Not really.” Dean shrugged, sitting on Frank’s couch.

  “You think Nick will be all right? He felt a little warm.”

  “He wasn’t warm, Frank.”

  “He was fussy.”

  “He wasn’t fussy either,” Dean corrected.

  “OK. He was whiney like Henry.”

  “I’ll give you that.”

  “How did reading the book go when I was bathing the babies?”

  “Horrible.” Dean leaned forward toward his knees. He tried to follow the sound of Frank’s voice, but only found it made him dizzy because, oddly, Frank was pacing. “Billy corrected me six times.”

  “He’ll do that. You just have to tell him you’re doing your own version, like I do. Man they love when I tell The Three Little Pigs story and the wolf has ham at the end when he devours them all.”

  “That’s sick.”

  “That’s me.”

  “Why am I here, Frank?” Dean asked.

  “Helping me with the kids tonight. I told you Robbie is pulling that extra shift and Henry’s sulking at Holding. Did you want something to drink?” Frank indicated to the kitchen. “Oh, Dean? I’m pointing.”

  “No thanks. No wait. Is there any coffee left?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’ll have some.”

  “I’ll get it.” Frank headed into the kitchen, grabbing a mug for Dean and refreshing his spiked tea for himself.

  “No more alcohol, Frank.” Dean leaned in the archway.

  “It’s my first drink.”

  “It’s your third,” Dean corrected.

  “How do you know?” Frank brought his drink to his mouth and handed Dean out his coffee. “Here. It’s directly in front of you.”

  “Thanks.” Dean reached out and took it. “How did I know you just poured your third drink?” Dean stated. “I’ll tell you. Everything, Frank, from taste to sound is magnified, even sex.”

  “I don’t wanna hear that.”

  “I mean, it’s odd. Like sound. It’s as if everything is amplified. Not to mention I could smell it. There’s nothing else that sounds like a drink being poured from a bottle and since we use bottles for limited things in Beginnings, my guess was that it was moonshine.”

  “Good guess.”

  “Can you not have that drink, Frank?”

  “Dean ...”

  “Try.”

  Frank put down the glass after a slight hesitation. “OK.” Frank walked by him.

  “Thank you. One other thing ...”

  “What now?” Frank stopped in his stride toward the living room.

  “Don’t act all annoyed with me, Frank. You asked me to come over and that is the other thing. Why? You didn’t need my help. You’re Super Dad. I’m a blind man, Frank. Why did you ask me here?”

  “To help me with the kids.”

  “I told you, I don’t buy that.” Dean walked carefully following the sound of Frank’s voice.

  “All right. Truth?”

  “Truth.”

  Frank sat down on the couch. “Have a seat, Dean.”

  Feeling first in case Frank tried anything funny, Dean found the chair and sat. “Go on.”

  A deep breath echoed through Frank’s fingers as he slid them down across his face. “Where’s El?”

  “Holding.”

  “OK,” Frank paused. “OK.”

  “Frank?”

  “Give me a minute, Dean. I’m not good at words.” From the coffee table, Frank grabbed a cigarette. He lit it and rubbed his hands together. “How many friends do you have aside from El?”

  “Not many.”

  “Me either.”

  “Frank, where are you going with this conversation?”

  “Dean, give me a fuckin minute or I won’t say anything at all.” Frank took a hit of his cigarette and coughed. “I was thinking. Tomorrow, first thing tomorrow someone is going to be going into your brain. And like ... if it was me ... I uh ... right now? I wouldn’t care how much I knew, the thought of that shit.” Frank blew out harshly. “Let’s just say, I’d be pretty fuckin worried about it. And uh, I wouldn’t wanna be alone because my mind would race. I was thinking, you know, with El a prisoner in Holding and me having all the kids, I was thinking maybe you wouldn’t want to be alone. You know, with this brain thing happening tomorrow.”

  “Frank?” Dean was shocked at what he had just heard. “That is really nice.”

  “No it isn’t.”

  “Yeah, it is and you’re right. I didn’t want to be alone tonight. When you called, I couldn’t tell you how many times I started listening to those book tapes that Jason made. But I swear I didn’t hear a word he said because I kept thinking about this procedure tomorrow.”

  “Dean.” Frank lowered his voice. “Do you have to do this?”

  “You have to be kidding.”

  “No, hear me out. You’re learning how to function, and you are doing it really good and fast. You just said sex is magnified when you’re blind. That alone should be reason enough ...”

  “Frank.”

  “They’re cutting into your brain, Dean.”

  “It’s going to be a small site, Frank.”

  “But they’re still going into your brain. I saw Planet of the Apes more than once. I read all the notes on what they’re gonna do and even though I see the good side, I keep going back to the bad side. Is it worth it? Is it really? One small slip up and you’re done. Is it really worth it?”

  “I need my eyes, Frank.”

  “And this community needs you.” Frank hit his cigarette hard. “You are not my favorite person in this world, Dean, but I’ll tell you what, you have been the best nemesis I have ever had. If you’re lying in a bed, some vegetable who can’t walk, talk, or think, what fun are you gonna be to me? Sure, I can shave your head and mess with you for a while, but that will wear off if you aren’t fighting back with me.”

  “Frank,” Dean said his name in a chuckle, so astonished at what was being said to him. “More than you know, I appreciate what you are saying to me. Don’t think for a second your thoughts aren’t mine. I’m scared, Frank. I’m scared that tomorrow when I kiss the kids goodbye, it may be the last time I kiss them. I know this community needs me, but I need to see. If I can’t do that, I will not be at the full capacity I need to be. This virus that might hit us, it’s only one thing of many that we have to face in the years ahead. I don’t want to be frustrated five years from now knowing I could be doing more if I hadn’t been afraid to take the risk. I have to try this. If I fail then I failed trying. Like I said, yeah I’m scared of what could happen to me, but more than that, I am scared I will never see the faces of my children, their children, and Ellen.” Dean chuckled. “Even you. What I wouldn’t give at this moment to see that clueless expression you get on your face when I get you and you don’t know it. That look is priceless to me, but I don’t see that anymore.”

  “You don’t get me anymore.”

  “I haven’t tried. You’ve been too nice.”

  “Me?” Frank laughed. “Dean, I play a blind joke on you at least once a day. At least.”

  “Yeah, but you know what Frank? Those blind jokes keep me on my toes. Those jokes, whether you want to believe it or not, are your way of teaching me. And you have been the only one through this whole thing that has made me feel like a normal person. You treated me no less than if I could see. I needed that. I learned more from that than I could have ever learned through pity and compassion. You’re a good teacher and you’re a good father. That’s one thing that makes it easier for me when the thought of my kids not having me anymore hits. They’ll have you and I know you’ll take care of them and raise them to be good people. They may not read all that well ...” He started to laugh.

  “What about the community. I can’t cure them.”

  “Ah.” Dean nodded. “But Ellen can. Don’t let her know I said this but she ... she knows a lot more than she realizes. She knows viruses and cures and procedures. When push comes to shove, E
llen will draw upon that knowledge.”

  Frank slowly raised his eyes to Dean as he put out his cigarette. He spoke with confidence. “But she won’t have to do that, will she?”

  “No she won’t.” Dean words and demeanor fed off that one line of Frank’s. “Because tomorrow when I wake up and they put Henry’s program into that chip, I will see. I’ll look at everyone in that room and I know everyone will be there because everyone is nosey. I’ll look at Ellen. I’ll look at you shooting me the finger ...”

  “Hey, how did you know I was planning that?”

  “I know you, Frank.”

  “Then I’d better change my course of action.”

  “No, don’t.” Dean shook his head. “Shoot me the finger, piss me off, because nothing will change that moment when I see again. That moment will be worth more than anything, even magnified sex.”

  “Well you do know that will stop.”

  “What?” Dean asked. “The magnified sex?”

  “No, the sex period. Who’s gonna sleep with you?”

  “Ellen.”

  “Right,” Frank scoffed. “Pity lays.”

  “Right.” Dean chuckled in his own scoff then went silent. “Frank? If you don’t mind, I’d like to hang out for little awhile.”

  “I don’t mind at all,” Frank said very seriously then quickly changed. “But ... this serious talking shit is gonna stop.”

  “I’ll agree to that.”

  “How about a little friendly competition?”

  “Sounds good,” Dean agreed.

  “Scrabble?”

  “Nah, you cheat too badly at that.”

  “Battleship?”

  “You’re on.”

  “I’ll get the boards.” Frank stood up and headed toward the kitchen.

  “Frank?” Dean called out to him. “Thanks.”

  Frank give Dean a nod and a smile then began to leave again. “Oh and, Dean? I’m ...”

  “I know this one, Frank. You’re smiling.”

  “Fuck no. I’m flipping you off.” Giving yet another unannounced smile, Frank left the room to get the game.

  <><><><>

  Loud cries of anguish-filled moans came from the room on Ellen’s right. They were coupled with banging, steady and heavy against the wall. One SUT, Harold, did that. He was so restless. Didn’t he ever sleep? If Harold frightened Ellen, it was nothing compared to the SUTs that were de-programmed in the room on her left. How many did Joe have in there? Why were they banging also? The last Ellen recalled, they were silent and immobile, but now they were moving about and into the wall, loudly too. Souls of the damned are what they sounded like with their crashing, steady thumping, and banging.

  Ellen, shaking, sat on top of her bed in the dark, unable to go back to the sleep that the SUT noise awakened her from. Her knees were brought close to her chest, her arms held them tightly as she rocked back and forth. Feeling that the SUTs knew she was there, sensed her, visions of the movie Night of the Living Dead played in her head. That near final scene when suddenly all the walking dead crashed through the walls of the house as if it were paper, played over and over in Ellen’s mind. She feared that scene would happen soon if the SUTs hit those thin walls any harder. She saw them in her mind, going after her, hungry, stopping at nothing.

  As she reached her final straw of the scared point, Ellen wondered why she sat in the dark so she reached out for the lamp on the table. With a turn of the switch came a popping sound and the light bulb flashed out. She was in darkness again. “Fuckin great.”

  So afraid, Ellen jumped from the bed and raced to the door. She hesitated before bringing her fist up. “Please. Please,” she whispered to herself then knocked. “Henry? Henry, are you still out there.” There was no answer. “Shit.”

  “Uh ... No, El, I’m in here.”

  Startled, Ellen spun to the close voice in the room. “Henry?”

  “Hey, El.” Henry turned on a flashlight. “Don’t be mad.”

  “When did you come in here?”

  “While you were sleeping. Please.” He stood up. “Please don’t ask me to leave.”

  “Henry ...”

  “No, El.” He stepped to her. “It’s scary. These things are scary. I don’t want to be out in that hall by myself.”

  “They ... they are pretty frightening.” Ellen took a step to him.

  “Oh my God and they are so loud too.”

  “They sound like zombies.”

  “I hope they’re not cannibals.”

  “Henry.” Ellen’s eyes widened. “You don’t think they’ll get in here, do you?”

  “I hope not.”

  “Henry, you should just go home. It’s safer there.”

  “What, and leave you here alone? No way.”

  “You put me here.”

  “I didn’t mean to. I swear to you, El, if they would have told me it was you, I wouldn’t have done anything. I swear.”

  Ellen stared at him for a second then grabbed the flash light that was still in his hand and pointed it in his face. “How’s the eye?”

  “Sore.”

  “I’m sorry about punching you. That was wrong.”

  “No, I deserved it, El.”

  “Henry!”

  “What!”

  “Hurry! Shine the flashlight on that wall.” Ellen pointed.

  Henry spun around. “There?”

  “Yeah.” Ellen stood behind him. “Shit. Is that wall breaking?”

  “Oh my God!”

  Ellen shrieked. Henry shrieked and they both charged for the Holding door.

  “Henry, hurry!” Ellen saw him fumble with the keys. “Get us out of here.”

  “I’m hurrying, El. It’s this ...” Henry lowered the keys. “Wait a second. The walls are aluminum. We’re OK in here. It’ll just be loud, that’s all.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Positive.” Henry walked to the wall and banged his fist. He hit it hard once. The pounding stopped and a single bang came back. Henry hit the wall twice. The same sound, same speed knock, repeated back to them. “We’re fine.”

  “Oh thank God.” Ellen grabbed her chest. “I thought they would eat us.”

  Henry walked back to the door, reaching up the keys.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Letting you out. This is stupid. You can’t stay here.”

  “No, Henry.” Ellen pulled his hand away from the lock. “You made the decision so you have to keep it. As a person who runs this community, for respect, you can’t change it. People will never take you seriously if you back down.” Ellen walked from the door. “It’s getting quiet now. I’ll stay.”

  “Then let me stay here with you.”

  “Henry ...”

  “No, El, listen to me.” He walked closer. “I’ll sleep on the floor. We don’t have to talk. We don’t. Just let me stay with you. See, I feel badly. None of what happened today would have ever happened if it wasn’t for me. I started the ball rolling.”

  “You can say that again.”

  “I started the ball rolling.”

  Ellen looked up at him and cracked a smile.

  “Let me stay, El. Your punishment should be my punishment too.”

  Taking a slow breath, Ellen looked at the floor and then at Henry’s sleeping bag lying there. She listened to the slowing thumps around her. “Goodnight, Henry.” She turned from him, walked over to the bed, and got in.

  Dropping his shoulders in relief, Henry stood watching Ellen until she pulled the covers up over her shoulder and closed her eyes. “Goodnight, El,” he whispered, smiled, and returned to his sleeping bag. He felt better since the SUTs quieted some, but most of all, he felt better because he was in the room with Ellen.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  AUGUST 5

  Ellen didn’t wait for Henry to leave Holding with her. Cleaned up and waiting for that five a.m. ‘OK’, she raced from the room and out of Holding as fast as she could to the clinic. Knowing Dean was having his surg
ery first thing before the hecticness of the clinic day began, Ellen had to get there to see him. She had too.

  The clinic was so dead that the only sound heard was the tapping of the soles of Ellen’s shoes as she ran down the hall toward the operating rooms. She could hear the whispers of Jason, Johnny, and Andrea in the OR as they prepared. How much Ellen wanted to be a part of that surgery, to be in there when it all happened. But she couldn’t. Not because she wasn’t permitted but because in her mind, God forbid something went wrong, she would lose it.

  Dean looked as if he were waiting, lying on the cart waiting to be wheeled into the OR and wearing that fashionable printed hospital gown. He was prepared; an IV had already been placed in his arm and a small one-inch-square section of his hair had been shaven at the temple.

  “Dean,” Ellen called his name as she ran in out of breath.

  Dean gave a nervous smile. “You made it.”

  “Of course I did. I had to wait to be freed.” She walked over to the cart he lay on.

  “I didn’t think I’d get to talk to you before I went in there.”

  “You wouldn’t wait?”

  “I couldn’t, El. It’s scheduled.”

  “Dean. It’s not like there’s this big surgery agenda. This is Beginnings.”

  “I know.” Dean felt Ellen grab his hand. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  “I had to be here and I will wait here until I know you’re gonna be fine. Then I’m heading home to get cleaned up and do my hair. I want to look good for you when you open your eyes and see me.”

  “El, you can look like you did when you had that flu two years ago and I wouldn’t care.”

  “Gee thanks, Dean.” She kissed him on the cheek.

  “Can you uh wear that little miniskirt I missed?”

  “I will wear it, Dean.” She gripped his hand tighter. “Good luck. I’ll pray for you.”

  “Don’t.”

  “Why?”

  “El, we really don’t know how good of terms you are on with the big guy.”

  “Oh you’re right.”

  “Ellen.” Dean softened his voice and brought his other hand down to cover their joined hands. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  “We are.”

  “No seriously.”