by Laura Farr
“Thanks, I’m starving,” he said, ripping the bag open and putting a few in his mouth. After a few minutes, he nodded to my stomach. “Your button is undone on your jeans.”
I self-consciously covered it with my hand. “I, erm…can’t actually get it buttoned,” I told him, embarrassed. “I’m going to need to buy some bigger clothes soon.”
He smiled sheepishly at me. “Sorry,” he mumbled. I shrugged my shoulders. “So, do you know if it’s a boy or a girl yet?”
“They said I can find out at the next sonogram, if I want to.”
“Do you want to know?”
“I haven’t decided yet.” I paused and looked at him. “Would you want to know?”
“I don’t think so.” He took a mouthful of his drink. “I think it’s probably the best surprise you’ll ever have,” he said quietly.
“I guess. I just figured I could be better prepared if I knew the sex, but maybe I’ll wait.” I watched as he stood up and held his hand out to me.
“Come on.”
“Where are we going?” I asked, reaching my hand up for him to take. He pulled me up before closing the door to the cottage.
“To get some paint for the kitchen. You’ve got the time it takes to get to Target to decide what color you want.”
“You don’t need to do that, Brody can take me later.”
“If we go now, I can make a start on it this afternoon, and the quicker it’s done, the quicker you can move in. Come on.” He walked past me and up toward his truck, which was parked outside the house.
“I need to run and get my purse,” I called out, trying to catch up to him.
“It’s on me Sav.” He’d reached the truck and was holding open the passenger side door for me. “Jump in.”
I stood with my hands on my hips. “I’m not letting you pay Josh.”
“Stop arguing and get in. Think of it as my gift to you and the baby. It’s only a can of paint—it’s hardly going to break the bank.”
“Don’t you have things you need to be doing this afternoon? What about your job? Surely your dad has some work for you?” It wasn’t that I wasn’t grateful for his help, but we’d hardly seen each other over the past few months, and I didn’t want him to feel like he had some sort of obligation to help his best friend’s sister just because she was knocked up.
“I’ve got a few days off, and I want to help.” He paused and dragged his hand through his hair, his eyes dropping to the ground. “I’ve been an asshole these past few months, and I want to help you. Let me, please.”
I nodded, slipping past him and into the passenger seat. He closed the door and made his way around to the driver’s side as I dropped my head back against the seat and closed my eyes. So, he was helping out at the cottage because he felt guilty. I didn’t want his pity, but as much as I hated to admit it, I did need his help.
“Do you have anything in mind for the paint colors?” he asked, pulling away from the house and down the oak-lined driveway toward the main road.
I shook my head. “I haven’t really thought about it…just something to brighten it up, maybe pale yellow?”
“That would work well with the wooden cabinets. We’ll pick up some paint for the sitting room as well while we’re there.”
I shifted on the seat so I was facing him. “Josh, you know I don’t have any money with me, and I can’t let you pay for stuff.”
He waved his hand at me. “It’s fine Van, I got this.”
My eyes widened in surprise when I heard what name he’d called me. “You haven’t called me Van in years,” I said quietly, my eyes fixed on his hand, which was gripping the steering wheel tightly.
“No, I haven’t,” he replied, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel tighter. “It just…slipped out.” It was something only he had called me when we were kids. He had suddenly stopped when I was about 15, and I hadn’t heard him use it since—until today.
“Why did you stop?” I turned to look out the window, the fields of the neighboring ranch rushing past. I heard him sigh loudly and I swung my head around, my eyes meeting his.
“It just didn’t seem right for me to have a nickname for you, the older you got.” He shrugged his shoulders and focused back on the road.
“I liked it,” I murmured.
“I know you did…” He shook his head and we rode in silence through Marble Falls, pulling into the parking lot at Target about five minutes later. He jumped out and made his way around to my side, opening the door and putting his hand out. I reluctantly gave him mine and he helped me down from the truck. “You hungry?” he asked as we walked across the parking lot to the entrance.
“Starving—I didn’t eat breakfast this morning.”
“We’ll grab sandwiches on the way home and eat them before we start painting.”
“Okay,” I agreed, following him into the store.
30 minutes later, we were on the way back to the ranch. We’d bought ‘Lemon Spirit’ paint for the kitchen and ‘Ivory Lace’ for the sitting room, and Josh had insisted on buying paint for the two bedrooms as well. I tried to tell him no, but he said he was buying paint for every room and I may as well pick my colors or he was picking for me. Reluctantly, I chose the same pale cream as the sitting room for those two rooms as well, promising to pay him back once we got home.
I was currently holding two sub sandwiches and the smell was making my stomach rumble—I hadn’t realized how hungry I was. I heard Josh chuckle. “You can start yours now Sav, if you’re hungry.”
“I am hungry, but I can wait.”
“How come you didn’t eat breakfast? You should be taking care of yourself,” he scolded.
“I was throwing up, Josh. Food wasn’t too appealing after that.” I rolled my eyes.
“Should you still be throwing up? I thought that was only really early on.” Concern was evident in his voice.
I shrugged. “I guess everyone is different. The doctor said it should ease up soon. The sooner the better as far as I’m concerned.”
As we pulled onto the ranch, I saw Brody coming out of the barn. He waved and began heading over. “Hi Brody,” I called out as I jumped out of the truck.
“Where have you been?” he asked, glancing over at Josh. He lowered his voice as he got nearer to me. “Is everything okay with you two now?”
I nodded. “Yes, Josh came over this morning and apologized,” I said quickly, seeing that Josh was heading over to us. “He’s been helping me at the cottage this morning, and we just went to Target to get some paint.”
“Hi Brode,” Josh said, clapping my brother on the back. I was worried things would be awkward now that Brody knew how I felt about Josh, but they weren’t.
“Savannah tells me you’re helping her in the cottage?”
Josh nodded. “Yeah, going to get started on painting the kitchen this afternoon. It shouldn’t take long to get it done.”
“I appreciate your help man. I can’t help as much as I’d like, but I’ll be there over the weekend.”
“It’s no problem, I’m happy to help. You know Sav’s like a sister to me.” Brody gave me a sympathetic smile, and my heart dropped hearing Josh’s statement. I knew that was how he felt, but I definitely didn’t need reminding of it.
“I’m just going to grab some drinks to go with these sandwiches,” I said, turning and rushing up the garden path, not wanting to hear any more.
When I returned to the cottage, Josh and Brody were sitting on the grass outside the front door. I sat down next to Brody and tossed Josh his sandwich. “Do you have lunch Brody?” I asked, unwrapping my sandwich and taking a huge bite.
“I already ate.” He paused. “Hungry?” Brody chuckled.
“Starving,” I replied through a mouthful of sandwich.
“Well I guess you are eating for two now. I can’t believe my baby sister is having a baby of her own.”
“Me neither,” I said with a sigh.
“How about a night out
tonight, all of us? It’s been ages since we all went out together. I’m sure Lib and Mason would be up for it, what about you Josh?” Brody asked.
“I can’t tonight, but maybe another time?” His eyes met mine briefly before he looked away.
“Why? What are you up to?” Brody asked.
He paused, his eyes flicking to mine again. “I’m seeing Beth,” he said quietly. I put my sandwich down, my appetite suddenly gone.
“Who’s Beth?” I asked, my eyes focused on my fingers as they played with the blades of grass by my legs. I heard him sigh and I looked up.
“Beth’s a girl I’m seeing.” I nodded, my heart hurting at his words. Brody had mentioned a few weeks ago that Josh was dating someone, but there was always some girl hanging around him. I hadn’t paid much attention with all that had been going on in my life, but this one had a name. If she was the same girl Brody had mentioned, she’d been around for a while, and that was unusual for Josh. He normally took them on one or two dates and then moved on to the next.
“Oh, okay,” I heard Brody say. I could sense that Brody was looking at me, but I couldn’t look at him. My hormones were all over the place and I didn’t trust myself not to burst into tears. He was silent for a few seconds before asking, “You’ll come though, won’t you Savannah?”
I took in a shaky breath, composing myself. “I’m not sure…” I trailed off, my fingers ripping out chunks of grass, letting the blades slip through my fingers.
“Come on, it doesn’t have to be a late night. You could dance with Lib,” he coaxed, knowing how much I loved to dance. I sighed, wiping the grass off my hands; I had missed going out with Libby. I figured I might as well make the most of going out while I was able to. I knew I wouldn’t be getting out much once the baby came, plus, I knew if I stayed home, I would only spend all night wondering what Josh was up to. At least going out would take my mind off him.
“Okay, why not. I might as well squeeze into my favorite dress one last time before I look like a beached whale!” I forced a smile, looking over to Brody and Josh.
“You could never look like a beached whale,” Josh mumbled as he stood up and headed into the cottage. He stopped just outside and picked up the cans of paint, one in each hand. My eyes followed him, taking in his broad back and shoulders, his muscles taut from holding the paint.
“Are you okay? I didn’t think when I asked Josh what his plans were,” Brody said once Josh was out of earshot.
I shrugged my shoulders and gave him a sad smile. “I’m fine Brode. I’ve spent years watching him with girls, and this is just another one of those times. He’s going to date people—not much I can do about it.” I sounded flippant, but it was all a front, and I was pretty sure Brody knew that.
He reached his hand down to me and pulled me up and into a hug. “Well for what it’s worth, I’m sorry, and he’s right, you look beautiful,” Brody said, squeezing me tight.
“Not quite beautiful enough though, huh?” I said sadly, pulling out of his embrace.
“Don’t do that,” he said sharply.
I gave him a false smile. “Well I’ll remind you of how beautiful you think I am when I’m nine months pregnant and I can’t see my feet!” I joked, eager to bring the conversation to a close.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be here to help you put your cowboy boots on,” he said, laughing.
“You’d better be,” I told him. “I’ll text Lib about tonight.”
The smile dropped from his face. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, glancing back toward the stables.
“I’m fine Brody. Get back to work and I’ll see you later.”
He nodded before giving me a small wave as he walked off toward the barn. I dug my phone out of my jeans pocket and fired off a text.
Me: Hey Lib, are you and Mason free for a drink tonight?(non-alcoholic for me of course) Brody suggested a night out like old times
I pushed my phone back into my jeans and finished as much of my sandwich as I could stomach, knowing I needed to eat something. Having avoided Josh for as long as I could, I headed back into the house, and he had already started painting by the time I made it back to the kitchen. There wasn’t much wall to paint since the room was tiny, and he had been right when he’d told Brody it wouldn’t take him long.
“Hey, what can I do to help?” I asked, reaching for one of the new paintbrushes we’d bought.
“Nothing, I’m good.” I watched as he reached the roller up to paint the ceiling. At six foot three, he didn’t need a ladder, and the edge of his t-shirt rode up as he stretched. My eyes were drawn to his exposed skin, his tanned and toned stomach making my mouth water. My focus dropped to the waistband of his pants, where I could just see the top of his underwear. Suddenly Josh cleared his throat and I was pulled from the dirty corners of my mind. My face flushed with heat as I looked up and saw that he’d caught me staring at him, again.
“I asked if you could pass me the paint tray,” he said, gesturing to the tray next to my feet. I looked down and then back up at him, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth as he watched me.
“Sorry,” I mumbled as I bent down and picked up the tray. Walking the short distance between us, I held it out to him.
“Could you hold it there while I do the ceiling?” I nodded, feeling like I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. He bent down and pushed the roller through the tray, dragging it back and forth until it was coated in paint. His arm reached up to the ceiling and I quickly averted my gaze from his exposed stomach, not wanting to be caught staring again. “Where are you off to tonight then?” he asked.
“Not sure yet, one of the bars in town I guess. I’m just waiting to hear back from Lib.” He nodded, turning to put more paint on his roller. As he did, he somehow managed to drag it across my arm, the cool paint on my skin startling me. “Hey!” I exclaimed, jumping and sloshing the paint in the tray down the front of his t-shirt.
He laughed as he looked down at himself. “I thought we were painting the ceiling, not me,” he joked, lifting the roller up and dragging it down my chest, covering my t-shirt in paint.
“Josh!” I squealed as the cool paint seeped through the thin fabric, making me shiver.
He smirked at me, raising his eyebrows, as if challenging me. I smiled sweetly back at him before I bent down and put the tray on the floor. If he wanted to play then I was game. I slowly got up, my head level with his chest. He was grinning at me and his eyes sparkled with amusement. Even covered in paint, he was the most gorgeous man I’d ever seen. I put my shaking hands on his hard chest and he inhaled sharply as I touched him. I slowly dragged them down his paint-soaked t-shirt until my hands were covered in paint.
“Sav?” he said slowly. Glancing up at him, I saw the smile had left his face and his eyes were fixed on mine. Giving him a smirk of my own, I raised my hands and ran them through his hair and down his face, leaving trails of paint in the dark stubble that covered his jaw. My hands tingled from touching him, and my heart was racing. I laughed as I saw the look of shock on his face. Moving quickly, he grabbed me, his large hands wrapping around my wrists.
“What are you doing?” I whispered as he pulled me into his chest. He reached my hands up, placing my paint-stained palms onto my cheeks.
“It’s only fair that you’re covered in paint too,” he murmured. My heart was beating out of my chest and my breathing hitched. We stood in silence, his hands still holding my wrists, our eyes locked on each other. After what felt like an hour but could only have been a few seconds, my phone chimed in my pocket, and whatever spell we were under was broken. Josh quickly dropped my hands and took a step back, his eyes looking anywhere but at me. “I bet that’s Libby,” he said quietly. I nodded and reached into my pocket to check the message.
Libby: Hey Sav, yep we’re free, count us in. Are you ok going out with Josh?
Remembering that Josh was seeing Beth, I sighed loudly. Had I just imagined that we’d had a moment? Or was it really j
ust friends messing around? Was I looking for more than was there? I shook my head and typed a reply to Lib.
Me: Josh has a date so I don’t have to worry about that. Come to the house at 7 and I’ll drive. Looking forward to some dancing, it’s been too long.
Libby: Are you ok??
Me: I’m fine Lib.
Libby: Ok, if you sure. We’ll see you at 7, can’t wait
When I looked up, Josh had gone back to painting the ceiling, his dark hair smeared with yellow paint. I dropped my phone on the bench, picked up a brush, and slowly began painting the wall. We worked in silence, tension hanging heavily between us. After about 15 minutes, I couldn’t stand it anymore and needed some air.
“Do you mind if I go clean up? I could go for a nap before I go out tonight,” I said quietly. I watched as he turned around to face me.
“Of course, I’m nearly finished here anyway,” he replied, giving me a small smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” I asked, confused.
He nodded. “I’ll be back in the morning to continue with the painting. If I get an early start, I should be able to get most of the rooms painted by the end of the weekend.”
“Josh, you really don’t have to give up your weekend. I’m sure—”
“I’ll be here,” he said, cutting me off.
I sighed. “Okay, thank you,” I mumbled. “See you tomorrow then. Have a good night.” I didn’t hang around to hear his response. I didn’t want to think about him having a good time with some girl; I just hoped they didn’t end up in the same bar as us.
There was no one at home when I got back to the house, and I slowly dragged myself upstairs, heading straight for my bathroom. I was desperate to crawl into bed, but didn’t want to get paint all over the sheets. I caught my reflection in the mirror over the vanity as I walked in: I had yellow paint all over my face, and patches of yellow in my hair. A column of paint ran down my t-shirt from the roller, and splashes had made it onto my old jeans. I was a mess.
