by Laura Farr
We danced for the next 30 minutes or so, by which time I was exhausted and needed to sit down. “Libby, I need a drink and a seat,” I shouted over the music. She nodded and followed me off the dance floor, and I felt her reach for my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. My heart was pounding as we reached the table and nerves swirled in my stomach. Josh sat next to Mason and his eyes found mine as I reached for my drink. He moved out of the booth so Libby could sit next to Mason then gestured for me to follow her in. Glancing around, I saw that Beth seemed to be deep in conversation with Brody, and she suddenly burst out laughing at something he said. I slid into the booth, surprised that Beth seemed more interested in Brody than Josh.
“Scoot over Sav,” Josh said as he sat down next to me. There wasn’t a whole lot of room with three guys the size of Josh, Mason, and Brody all sitting together in a round booth. I moved up as much as I could but his jean-clad thigh still brushed up against my bare one. I self-consciously tugged my short dress down my legs before picking my drink back up and taking a gulp. I sneaked a sideways look at Josh and found him looking at me; I swallowed my Diet Coke and gave him a small smile.
Leaning closer to me, he whispered, “You look beautiful.” His breath tickled my ear and I shivered. “You’ve got some paint on your ear,” he said, a smile tugging on his lips.
“I wonder how that could have gotten there,” I replied sarcastically. “I was covered from head to toe.” I pushed him away, both loving and hating how close he was to me.
“Yeah I remember,” he said quietly.
I looked round the table, catching Libby and Mason staring at us, wide grins on their faces. Rolling my eyes and ignoring them, I turned to Josh. “So how come you ended up coming here?” I asked him.
He sighed. “Beth likes it here, and it’s the best bar in town. I didn’t know you’d be here, or I wouldn’t have…” He trailed off and shook his head. “I don’t want to hurt you again Sav.”
“It’s fine,” I lied. “Why is she talking to Brody instead of you?” I asked, looking up at him. I watched as he glanced over to Beth and Brody before his eyes met mine.
“I guess she likes talking to Brody more than me,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.
“And that doesn’t bother you? I’d be pissed if my date spent the whole night talking to someone else.”
“I don’t care, it’s not serious between us.”
“Just sex then?” I blurted out. His head whipped around, his eyes finding mine. I held his gaze while he said nothing, his silence speaking volumes. “I think I might dance some more,” I said with a sigh. I turned to my right and caught Libby’s attention. “You wanna dance Lib?” I gestured with my head to the dance floor. I was exhausted but needed to get away from Josh.
“Sure,” she replied, and I watched as she kissed Mason before turning back to me. “Let’s go!” She scooted along the seat toward me. Josh must have been listening to our conversation because when I turned around, he was already standing.
I moved to the edge of the booth and stood up. “Thanks,” I whispered as I passed him. Libby took my hand and pulled me to the dance floor. We could still see the table from where we were and I turned to see Josh and Mason watching us.
“What’s going on with Josh’s date? Mason said she hasn’t stopped talking to Brody since they got here,” Libby shouted in my ear so she could be heard over the music. “Surely they aren’t in a relationship if she’s behaving like that?”
I shook my head. “It’s not serious according to Josh. Apparently it’s just sex,” I shouted back, rolling my eyes at her. She stopped dancing and stared at me before glancing back toward the table.
“Well if you ask me, he’s more interested in you than he is in her. He hasn’t taken his eyes off you since he got here, and look how close he was sitting to you.”
“He had no choice, it’s a small table!” I exclaimed. I saw her roll her eyes at me. “Libby, I would love nothing more than for you to be right, but he’s had plenty of chances to make his move and…nothing.”
“You’re spending more time together now, maybe—”
“Maybe nothing,” I said, cutting her off. “We’re friends and that’s all we’ll ever be. He doesn’t see me as anything more than that.” I shot her a look that said I was done talking about it.
She held her hands up. “Okay. I don’t agree, but I’ll drop it.”
“Thank you,” I told her. “Now let’s dance.”
We spent the next hour or so dancing and chatting. When a slow song came on, I gestured that we should head back to the table. She nodded and we began making our way through the crowds, only to be confronted with Mason, who was seeking Lib out for a dance. I turned and smiled at her as I watched him scoop her up in his arms and kiss her. Turning around, I bumped into a hard chest. Arms circled my waist and I looked up to see Josh looking down at me. “Dance with me?” he asked, pulling me closer to him.
“Erm…what about Beth? Shouldn’t you be dancing with her?” I asked, feeling torn about wanting to dance with him but knowing I’d probably regret it later.
“I don’t want to dance with Beth. I want to dance with you,” he whispered in my ear. My stomach fluttered with what felt like a million butterflies and my heart began to race. “Plus, she’s talking to Brody,” he added.
My stomach dropped, and it felt like he’d reached into my chest and torn my heart out. “So, I’m second choice then?” I asked angrily, pushing my way out of his hold. He grabbed my hand while the fingers of his other hand lifted my chin so I was looking at him.
“No Savannah,” he said, holding my gaze. “I could have asked Beth to dance, but I wanted to ask you.”
“Why Josh? Why now? You’ve never wanted to dance with me before.”
“Does there have to be a reason? Just dance with me Sav.” His eyes were pleading, and I sighed deeply.
“Okay,” I said, moving toward him, hesitating before resting my head against his chest and closing my eyes. I felt Josh’s arms wrap around me and we slowly swayed to the music. My heart was pounding in my chest and nerves were bubbling in my stomach. I’d imagined this moment over and over in my head, my imagination not living up to the reality. After a few awkward seconds, I managed to relax and sagged against him, making the most of being in his arms. All too soon, the song was over, and I went to step out of his embrace.
His arms gripped me tighter and he lowered his mouth to my ear. “Thank you,” he whispered, his breath warm against my skin. “You are never second choice Sav, never. You deserve the best.” I felt him brush his lips just under my ear and a moan escaped my lips. Embarrassed, I pulled out of his arms and stepped away from him. “Savannah, what’s wrong?” he shouted over the noise of the bar.
I continued backing away slowly. “I can’t do this Josh.”
“Do what?” he asked, his eyebrows pulled together in a frown.
“This,” I said, gesturing between us with my hand. I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You know how I feel about you.” I felt my face flush with heat at my admission. “Of course I want you to wrap me in your arms and whisper in my ear, but what you want and what I want are two very different things. You’re right, I do deserve the best, and I can’t keep letting myself get hurt. I’ve got someone other than me to think about now.” I placed my hand on my stomach and watched as his eyes followed my gesture. When he didn’t say anything, I tried to move past him, but he put his hand out to stop me.
“Savannah, wait…” I stopped and looked down at the floor. “Look at me, please,” he said, waiting until my eyes met his. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to keep hurting you. That’s the last thing I want.”
I stared at him. This seemed like as good a time as any to find out exactly what it was that he did want; I was getting tired of the back and forth with him. “What do you want Josh?”
He moved his hand off my arm and dragged it through his hair, sighing loudly. “I don’t know Sav, it’s complicated.”
/> “It doesn’t have to be complicated,” I told him, hope erupting inside me upon hearing his words.
“There are things you don’t know, things I haven’t told you. I’m not what you need.”
“Don’t you think that’s for me to decide? Is this because you think Brody won’t approve? He knows how I feel about you.”
“How does he know?”
“I had to tell him.”
“When?” he asked angrily.
I put my hands on my hips and frowned at him. “When you stormed out of the cottage, leaving me in tears and Brody wondering why I was so upset. He thought the baby was yours!” I exclaimed.
“Oh God, I never meant to make you cry Sav,” he said, reaching for me.
I took a step back so I was out of his reach. “It wasn’t the first time, Josh, and I’m guessing it won’t be the last,” I sassed back at him, knowing I was being a bitch. I watched as he closed his eyes and dropped his head.
“Brody thought the baby was mine?” he asked, shaking his head before letting out a small laugh.
“I’m glad you think sleeping with me is so funny,” I shouted, pushing against his shoulder and storming across the dance floor.
“Savannah, wait.” I heard him shout behind me but I hurried through the crowds, anger bubbling in my stomach. I suddenly stopped—why was I the one leaving? He’d showed up on my night out, so he should be the one to leave. I’d come to dance, and that was exactly what I was going to do. I spun around and started making my way back to Libby and Mason. The music had changed and people were no longer slow dancing.
“Savannah,” Josh said again as I passed him.
“Leave me alone,” I told him. I felt him grab my hand and I turned to face him, pulling my hand free from his. “Please Josh, I just want to dance.”
“I’m sorry I upset you.”
“Is this guy bothering you sweetheart?” a voice from behind me said. I looked up to see Josh scowling at whoever was standing behind me. I turned around to see a tall, good-looking blond-haired man looking at me.
“She’s fine,” Josh growled, taking my arm and pulling me gently toward him.
“I’d rather hear that from the lady, thanks,” the man said, his eyes still on me.
“Actually, he is bothering me.” I chanced a look at Josh, whose face looked murderous. “Would you mind dancing with me? Maybe then he’ll get the hint to leave me alone.”
“No problem darlin’,” he said, holding out his hand for me to take.
“Savannah, this is ridiculous. You don’t even know this guy.”
“I’m not your concern Josh. You don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to have me either? How is that fair?” I paused, waiting for him to say something, but was only met with silence. I nodded my head. “I thought so. Just go back to Beth. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to dance.” I took the stranger’s hand and disappeared into the crowd with him, my heart pounding in my chest.
“Are you okay? You’re shaking,” he asked me once we were out of sight of Josh.
I nodded, feeling like an idiot. “I’m sorry I dragged you into that. I’m Savannah by the way.”
“Alex,” he replied. “I take it that was an ex-boyfriend?”
I let out laugh. “No, he’s my brother’s best friend…” I trailed off.
“Ah, the forbidden romance.” He chuckled.
“Hardly. He’d have to actually be interested for it to be that,” I told him, unsure as to why I was telling someone I’d only just met about my non-existent love life.
“Oh, he’s interested sweetheart, trust me,” he said with a wink.
I looked at him in shock. “How could you possibly know that?”
“Well, aside from the possessive growls he was making when I showed up, he hasn’t taken his eyes off you since you left his side.”
“What?” I said, spinning around and looking into the sea of people on the dance floor. “I don’t see him.”
“I’m quite a bit taller than you, and I can see him. He’s definitely got his eye on you.”
“Urgh, I’d better go talk to him. I’m sorry I got you involved in this mess.” I watched as he shrugged his shoulders.
“For what it’s worth, I think he’s an idiot.” He smiled at me and two dimples appeared in his cheeks. He was gorgeous, and if the situation was different, if I wasn’t caught up with Josh or pregnant, I might have been interested. “Can I have your number? Maybe I could show you how a guy should be treating you?” he asked.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” I told him. “I’ve got a lot going on at the moment.”
“Come on, it’s just a number. I’m not asking you to marry me,” he said, a cocky grin forming on his lips.
“Okay,” I reluctantly agreed. I dug my phone out of my bag and handed it to him. “Put your number in and I’ll text you.” He punched in his number and before I could stop him, he’d called himself from my phone.
“Now I have yours too.” He handed my phone back, and I gave him a small smile. I hadn’t been planning on texting him—what would be the point?—but now it seemed he had my number.
“Well, thanks for rescuing me,” I said. He bent down and brushed his lips against my cheek.
“Any time darlin’. Looking forward to hearing from you.” He smiled at me before turning and disappearing into the crowd. I watched him go, taking in a deep breath before making my way back to Brody and the others. I didn’t get far before I ran into Josh. Alex must have been right—he hadn’t been far away.
“What the hell was that?” Josh exclaimed, his voice laced with anger. “Did he just kiss you?”
I put my hands on my hips and looked up at him. “So what if he did? What’s it got to do with you?” I asked him, my eyebrows raised in question. I watched as he shook his head, my eyes dropping to his hands, which were currently balled up in fists at his sides. “What exactly is your problem Josh? You look like you want to murder someone.” This time it was my turn to sound angry.
“I do, starting with that jerk who just had his hands all over you.”
“Urghhh, he kissed me on the cheek and asked for my number, that’s all, and I fail to see why you’re so bothered about it!” I exclaimed, trying to push past him, but he stopped me by putting his arm out.
“And did you give him your number?” he asked quietly in my ear, his warm breath leaving a trail of goose bumps down my neck. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply in an attempt to slow down my racing heart. Part of me hated the power he unknowingly had over me by just being close. “Answer me Savannah,” he demanded, moving his hands to my waist and spinning me so I was facing him.
“Yes!” I shouted, pushing his hands off me. “Yes, I gave him my number—why shouldn’t I? Just because you don’t want me doesn’t mean someone else won’t,” I screamed. People around us turned to see what the commotion was, but I didn’t care.
“You’re pregnant Savannah! Or did you forget?” He threw his hands in the air.
“Don’t you dare!” I exclaimed. “Of course I didn’t forget, how could I?” I replied, feeling tears well in my eyes. I wasn’t going to let him see me cry, and I quickly pushed past him, my vision blurred by the tears as they spilled down my cheeks. Before I could get away, I felt him reach for me, his hands gripping my hips as he pulled me backward into his chest. I tried to fight my way out of his hold, but his hands moved from my hips and wound around my waist.
“Wait,” he said into my hair. “I’m sorry Sav, you’re right—it’s none of my business who you choose to date, pregnant or not. I’m sorry I made you cry again.”
Accepting defeat, I stilled in his arms. “Please let me go,” I said quietly. “I’m tired and I’d like to go home.” He slowly dropped his arms and I walked away, feeling his eyes on me as I made my way to the table. Libby and Mason were chatting with Brody when I got there, and Beth must have been in the bathroom or at the bar as there was no sign of her. I quietly slipped into the booth.
>
“Hey Sav, I couldn’t find you on the dance floor. Mason said Josh went to find you, is everything okay?” she asked, looking at me with concern in her eyes when she saw my tear-streaked face.
“I’m okay. Do you think we could go home? I’m pretty tired.” I wrung my hands in my lap.
“Savannah, what happened? Did Josh do something?” Brody asked before Libby could respond.
“No, nothing. Just a misunderstanding, that’s all. Can we go?” I asked again, standing up and reaching for my purse. I watched as Libby stood up and gave me a small smile.
“Yes of course. Come on, it’s been a long night.” She linked my arm and we walked ahead of Mason and Brody, heading for the exit. Turning around to make sure the boys couldn’t hear us, she whispered in my ear, “What happened? What did he do?”
“Nothing, it’s just me reading things wrong again, wishing for something that’s never going to happen.”
She smiled sadly at me. “I’m sorry Savannah,” she said, squeezing my arm.
“Me too,” I whispered as we made our way outside and toward my car. “Where did Beth go?” I asked.
“Her friends showed up and she went off to dance with them.” I nodded, hoping she hadn’t witnessed my argument with Josh.
The atmosphere was tense on the journey home, and I hated that the night had ended like it had. No one believed that I was okay—how could they when my mascara was smeared down my cheeks? I was thankful that they didn’t push me to tell them what had happened though. I just wanted to go home, curl up in my bed, and sleep. I was just hoping that after all that, Josh would stay away from the cottage. I wasn’t sure I could spend another day alone with him.
After a fitful night’s sleep, I woke up early, rushing straight from my bed to the bathroom and throwing up twice. I couldn’t wait for this stage of my pregnancy to be over. I’d looked up morning sickness on the internet, and while it said it was a sign that the pregnancy was healthy, I was so over being sick every morning. I was really hoping it would pass, and soon. Unable to eat breakfast, I decided to head over to the cottage and continue with the cleaning. It was still early as I made my way down the porch steps, quickly looking around, hoping I wouldn’t see Josh’s truck. I breathed a sigh of relief at seeing only my car in the driveway.
