by Laura Farr
“Savannah, are you okay? I saw all the blood in the cottage and the broken window. We’ve been calling you but you didn’t answer—what happened?” My mom rushed out as she made her way toward me. “Your hand!” she exclaimed, pulling me into a hug.
“Mom, I’m fine,” I assured her. “The window broke while I was cleaning it, and Josh found me and took me to the hospital. I just needed a few stitches. I’m okay, really.” I glanced over my mom’s shoulder to see my dad, his face etched with worry.
“And the baby?” she asked, releasing me and stepping out of the hug. “The baby’s okay?”
“The baby’s fine.”
“Tell them Savannah,” I heard Josh say as he rounded the truck and stood next to me.
“Tell us what?” my dad asked—it was the most he had spoken to me in a week. I turned and glared at Josh.
“It’s nothing, really. Everything is fine,” I insisted.
“Savannah,” my mom warned.
“Urghh! My blood pressure was a little low, and I’ve been kind of dizzy, but I’m fine and so is the baby.”
“The doctor asked if she was under any stress at home.” I saw Josh raise his eyebrows at my dad. “We told her how things have been, and she said to avoid any stressful situations as it can be harmful to both Savannah and the baby,” Josh said, not taking his eyes off my dad. He took a step closer to me, our shoulders practically touching.
“Josh!” I exclaimed, stepping away from him.
“No Savannah, Josh is right,” my dad said with a sigh. “I’ve been so caught up in how I feel that I haven’t even considered how much I’m upsetting you.” I watched as he slipped his arm around my mom’s waist and pulled her close. “When your mom called me and said she couldn’t find you, said she’d found blood in the cottage…” He trailed off. “I’ve never been so worried. You being pregnant at 21 isn’t something I’m happy about, but I love you, and I don’t want to lose you. I’m so sorry I’ve acted like an idiot.” Tears rolled down my cheeks as I flung myself at him, his arms wrapping tightly around me. “If anything had happened to you, or the baby, because of me…” He trailed off again.
I pulled out of his embrace and looked up at him. “Dad I’m fine, I promise. I understand why you reacted like you did, I really do.”
“Doesn’t make it right, sweetheart.” He shook his head and dropped his eyes to the floor.
“I’m going to need you—I’m going to need you both, if today is anything to go by. I can’t even clean a window without ending up in the emergency room, God knows how I’ll manage to take care of a baby on my own.”
“You’re going to make a great mom, and you won’t be on your own,” Josh said from behind me. I glanced at my mom, who was giving me a funny look, and I shook my head at her, hoping she wouldn’t ask any questions.
My dad walked up to Josh and clapped him on the shoulder. “Thank you for looking after her today. It’s appreciated son.”
“Any time Ryan. She means a lot to me.” He fixed his gaze on mine, his lips rising into a small smile. I gave him a sad smile back and turned away, linking my arm with my mom’s as we started up the path to the house.
“Claire tells me you’re helping Savannah with the old cottage?” I heard my dad ask Josh behind me. “Although I’m hoping she’ll want to stay at home now that we’ve worked things out.” I quickly spun around to face them, realizing Josh must be heading into the house with us as he was following me up the path.
“He’s been a great help. He painted the kitchen, but I’m sure we can manage the rest ourselves. I don’t want to take up all of his spare time—I’m sure he wants to spend time with his girlfriend,” I rushed out, seeing Josh’s face fall at my comment. “Maybe Brody can help me? Or we could ask Mason.” After the past couple of days, I knew spending time alone with Josh at the cottage would be unbearable. The concern and care he’d expressed made the tiny flicker of hope inside me ignite into a raging fire, only to be doused when he shot me down.
“You’re still set on moving out then Sav?” my dad asked me sadly.
“I need to stand on my own two feet, for the baby’s sake.” I smiled at him. “He or she deserves a mommy who’s got her act together. I can’t raise a baby in my bedroom.”
“I’m proud of you sweetheart,” my dad said, his voice breaking. “Just know we’ll always be here for you. It took me longer than it should have to realize that.” He clapped his hands together. “Right, if you and my grandchild are going to be living in that cottage, we’re definitely going to need some help.” He turned to Josh. “Are we taking up all your spare time son? Don’t want to get you in trouble with the missus.”
“No sir, and there is no girlfriend,” Josh said, flashing me a heart-stopping smile. I raised my eyes in surprise—what did he mean he didn’t have a girlfriend? He’d seemed to have one the night before. “Happy to help,” he replied triumphantly, his eyes still locked on mine.
“Great!” my dad exclaimed. “As much as I love Brody, he’s no carpenter, and that kitchen needs some work. Whatever you need to do, do it.”
Breaking eye contact, he looked at my dad. “Actually, the kitchen is pretty much done. I’ve fixed all the loose doors, and with some new handles, the cabinets should look as good as new.” He turned to me, catching my eye. “Sav and I painted the walls yesterday, and it’s looking good, though your daughter isn’t too hot with a paintbrush. She got more on herself and me than the walls, isn’t that right?” He smirked at me, and I smirked right back, my hands going to my hips.
“If I remember correctly, it was you who got paint on me first. I was just getting you back.” He laughed and I turned to see my parents grinning at us.
“Stay for dinner Josh, it’s the least we can do after what you’ve done for Savannah.” My shoulders dropped as I heard my dad ask him. Looked like I wasn’t getting away from him any time soon. “Libby and Mason are coming for dinner as well—they have an announcement to make.”
“As long as I’m not intruding on family time?” Josh asked.
“Don’t be silly. You’re practically family anyway, isn’t that right sweetheart?” my dad asked, looking over at me. I shot a look at my mom, who gave me a sympathetic smile before turning to Josh, who was grinning at me. I had no idea what was going on, but I was beginning to wonder if he enjoyed toying with my emotions. There was no doubt he knew how I felt about him, and he knew I’d gotten upset at the lake yet still he insisted on helping with the cottage—and now, apparently, he was staying for dinner. All I knew right then was that I needed to get away from him. I didn’t have the energy to figure out what he was playing at. I was exhausted and needed a nap before dinner.
“Of course, you’re welcome any time Josh,” I told him, sighing loudly. I noticed the smile slip slightly from his face, although I had no idea why. I turned to my mom. “I need a nap, can you wake me when Lib gets here? I don’t want to miss the news.”
“Of course, sweetheart. Go get some rest.” She ushered me through the door and into the house. I smiled gratefully at her before making my way toward the stairs. I turned around as I reached the first step, seeing Josh standing in the hallway, his gaze fixed on me. I shook my head as I pulled my eyes from his and headed upstairs; had I imagined what had happened that day, the touching, the hand holding, the concern he’d shown? Was I looking for something that clearly wasn’t there? My head hurt thinking about it. He was just being a concerned friend, wasn’t he? It couldn’t possibly be more than that. I hated how he had this hold over me—I’d spent two days with him and now I was right back to where I’d been six months before, obsessing over every tiny scrap of attention he showed me, hoping against hope that he’d suddenly realize he was head over heels in love with me and couldn’t possibly live without me.
“Urghhhh I’m so pathetic!” I exclaimed, flopping down onto my bed. My head was pounding and my hand was throbbing, and that was on top of the pain in my chest that no amount of painkillers was going to cure. The doctor in the emer
gency room had said I would be okay to take Tylenol if my hand was bothering me, so I dragged myself off the bed and into my bathroom, opening the cabinet in search of the tablets. I quickly found the empty box and sighed, realizing I would have to go downstairs if I wanted some. I decided I could cope with the pain; it seemed less painful than bumping into Josh downstairs.
I padded back into my bedroom, attempting to remove my top as I went. It was fairly difficult with one hand but I eventually managed it, as well as kicking off my blood-stained shorts. Exhausted, I crawled under the comforter in just my bra and panties; I’d get dressed after I slept. I pulled the comforter around me and my eyes closed as soon as my head hit the pillow.
I woke up to someone gently shaking my shoulder. “Savannah, wake up, Libby and Mason are here.” My eyes flew open as I recognized the voice and I sat up, dragging the comforter with me.
“Josh! What are you doing in here?” I exclaimed, frantically trying to rearrange the comforter so my nearly naked body was covered. I watched as his eyes dropped to my hands and I stilled them.
He looked up and his gaze met mine. “You wanted to be woken up when Libby and Mason arrived,” he said matter-of-factly, a small smile tugging at his lips.
“Yeah, by my mom. I’m wearing next to nothing under here.”
“I noticed,” he said, his eyes dropping back to the comforter. “You weren’t exactly covered up when I came in.”
“Oh my God! Why didn’t you knock?” I hissed, and he held his hands up to me.
“I did, you didn’t answer.”
“No shit! I was asleep.”
“Savannah, I’ve seen you in a bikini a million times—what’s the difference?” he asked, a stupid smirk forming on his face.
“It’s different and you know it.” I huffed.
“Don’t get all moody on me Van,” he chuckled, his hands reaching out to tickle me through the comforter. I shot backward at his touch, the comforter slipping from my hands and exposing my bra and tiny bump. I felt my face flush as I scrambled around to cover myself. “You look beautiful,” he whispered, his eyes burning into mine.
“You’ve got to be kidding! That’s the second time in as many days that you’ve told me I look beautiful!” I exclaimed, anger radiating off me. I watched as his eyes widened in surprise. “Is this beautiful?” I asked him, dropping the comforter and placing my hand on my bare stomach. “I’m pregnant, Josh, by a man I don’t even know.” I closed my eyes. “Don’t tell me I’m beautiful,” I murmured.
“You think I don’t know that?” he shouted as he closed his eyes and shook his head. “You think it doesn’t kill me, knowing I pushed you into another man’s arms…” He trailed off. “If I hadn’t been such an idiot—”
“I’m a grown woman, you’re not responsible for my mistakes,” I said, cutting him off.
He sighed. “I talked to Brody—I know you stopped coming out with us because of me.”
“So what if I did?” I covered myself, conscious that I was sitting in front of him in only my underwear. “Josh, my feelings for you are my issue to deal with. I couldn’t expect you never to talk to girls when we were out, it was just easier for me not to be there.” He got off the bed and I watched him as he paced up and down my bedroom, his hand raking through his hair. “And now you’re with Beth, and I’m having a baby. We’ve moved on.”
“I told you last night that Beth wasn’t my girlfriend.”
“That’s right, just your fuck buddy!” I exclaimed, watching him as he shook his head.
“She’s not my fuck buddy either, not anymore.”
“What do you mean, not anymore?”
“I’m not seeing Beth anymore,” he said quietly.
“Why not?”
“It just wasn’t working out. We were on a date last night, but both of us spent the evening with other people. It shouldn’t be like that.”
My head was pounding and my mind was working overtime. “I can’t keep doing this,” I watched as he abruptly stopped pacing and turned to face me.
“Doing what?” he asked, confused.
“I can’t keep playing these games. As I’ve said before, I’m grateful that you were there for me today, and that you’re helping with the cottage, but I can’t deal with the touching or the tickling or you calling me beautiful.” I dropped my eyes down, focusing on the edge of the comforter, which I was gripping tightly in my good hand. “You made it clear a few months ago that you weren’t interested, and now you’re confusing me.”
“I’m sorry Sav.” He sat on the bed and put his head in his hands.
“It was me you were talking to last night, and now you’ve ended things with Beth—did you end things because of me? Have your feelings changed?” I whispered, nerves swirling in my stomach as I fidgeted. I heard him sigh deeply.
“Yes—no, I don’t know. It’s not as easy as that. You deserve more than I can give you.”
Hope flared inside me at his response. “What do you mean?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Nothing. I’m messing everything up again, just forget I said anything.” He jumped up off the bed, his eyes looking everywhere but at me. “I’ll leave you to get dressed. Lib and Mason will wonder where you are.” He turned and headed for the door.
“Josh, wait,” I called out.
“I’ll see you downstairs,” he said as he slipped out, closing the door behind him.
I lay down on my back. What the hell was that all about? I was more confused than ever. What did he mean, he couldn’t give me what I deserved? I only wanted him. I sighed; I didn’t have time to worry about it right then when everyone was waiting on me. I got dressed and brushed my hair as best I could with one hand before making my way downstairs.
I could hear voices coming from the sitting room, and as I entered, Libby jumped up off Mason’s lap and threw her arms around me. “Savannah, are you okay? Aunt Claire just told me what happened—thank God Josh found you when he did.”
My eyes found Josh’s over her shoulder and he gave me a small smile before looking away. “I’m okay,” I told her, taking a step back and holding up my hand. “I’m just a bit sore, that’s all.”
“And the baby’s okay?” she asked.
“The baby’s fine, and I got to hear the heartbeat again.” I glanced back over to Josh, remembering his reaction when he heard it. “I just have to take things easy for a bit.” My dad walked over and stood next to me, pulling me into his side.
“And I realized what a selfish bastard I’ve been. Libby’s right—thank God Josh was there to help you. If he hadn’t found you and taken you to the hospital…” He trailed off and I felt him kiss the top of my head.
“I’m fine Dad,” I reassured him.
“I’m so sorry for how I’ve treated you the past couple of weeks.” He looked sheepishly at me, and I felt tears welling in my eyes as I hugged him.
“I love you Daddy.”
“I love you too sweet pea.” I smiled up at him. ‘Sweet pea’ was what he used to call me when I was little. “Right,” he said as he composed himself. “Let’s eat and see what Mason and Libby have to tell us.”
“Oooh yes!” I exclaimed. “Tell us then! Not pregnant too, are you Lib?” I joked. I heard Mason laugh as he pulled Libby into his side.
“No, Libby’s not pregnant—not yet anyway,” he said, winking at her.
Libby reached up and smacked his chest. “Mason!” she hissed at him, her cheeks flushing red. He chuckled and pulled her tighter against him.
“We’ve set a date for the wedding,” Mason announced, leaning down and kissing Libby on the lips.
“When?” I asked, clapping my hands excitedly. “Please tell me it’s going to be after I’ve had the baby so I can wear a nice dress and not look enormous!”
“We want to get married right before Christmas,” Libby said with a small smile. “Mia died just before Christmas, and it was a holiday she always loved. This way we’ll have something good to celebrate each year.�
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“But that’s less than two months away!” I exclaimed.
“We decided we didn’t want to wait.” Mason dipped his head and kissed Libby. “I can’t wait for Lib to be my wife.” I watched as she gazed up at him.
“You two are so adorable,” my mom said, smiling at them both. “I guess we have a lot to plan then.”
Libby turned to me. “Sav, will you be my maid of honor?” she asked shyly.
“Of course I will! I’m so happy for you, and you too Mason. Do your parents know?”
She nodded. “Yeah, they’re going to fly in for Thanksgiving and stay until the wedding. I can’t wait for them to get here.”
“Is Jack coming as well?” I asked, and she nodded again.
“He is, but he’s not coming out until the week before the wedding, because of his job.” Libby’s brother was working for an accounting company back in the UK. He’d started working there not long after his traveling had come to an end.
“Congratulations son,” I heard my dad say to Mason as he pulled him in for a hug.
“Thanks Ryan. We were hoping we could get married at the lake, and then maybe have the reception in the barn? It’s going to be a fairly small wedding, just family and close friends.” There was a barn at the back of the guest house where entertainment was put on for the guests who were staying at the ranch during high season. It had been converted a couple of years ago from just a regular barn to a beautiful space full of old rustic charm, and a small bar had been added, along with a dance floor. It would be an ideal place for a wedding reception.
“Of course! We would love for you to get married on the ranch, wouldn’t we Claire?” my dad said, turning to my mom for her opinion.
“Definitely, it’s so exciting!” she gushed. “I think we’ve got some champagne somewhere, I’ll go find it,” she said, rushing out of the sitting room.
I turned to see Josh and Brody talking to Mason; they were shaking his hand and slapping him on the back. “Mason is asking Brody to be his best man, and Josh to be his groomsman,” Libby said as she came to stand next to me. “I hope having Josh in the wedding party won’t be too hard for you—I really want you to be my maid of honor.”
