Twisted Love (Stockholm Syndrome Series Book 1)

by R. Linda

  “We need to plan everything tonight,” I told Lucy as soon as we were in our room behind closed doors.

  “Why tonight? We’ve been discussing it for days and haven’t come up with anything other than make him mad enough to get drunk at the bar. Why is tonight so different?”

  “The microphones are getting installed down here tomorrow too. We have no other choice but to plan it tonight.” I also knew I had to read that article tonight as well, but I’d wait until Lucy was asleep.

  “Tomorrow?”

  “Yes. He’ll be able to see us and hear us everywhere.”

  “That’s disgusting. And creepy. The bathroom, the toilet, the bedroom. There’s no escaping him!” Lucy was panicking again. We all were. I didn’t know how to calm her down this time. How could I tell her it would be okay when it was far from it?

  “That’s why we need to do this now.”

  Hendrix

  THE DAYS AND weeks were passing quickly. After three failed attempts at making Ray mad as hell, we were all quickly losing hope that the plan would actually work. The house was quiet and subdued even more than usual with Ray’s cameras now capturing everything. We could barely utter a word to each other without Ray hearing. He had monitors in his bedroom, in the office and in the shop.

  He was everywhere.

  We needed to act fast. There was only so long we could fake everything before he paid careful attention to the cameras and realised we weren’t making good on our promise to give him a grandchild.

  The article still burnt a hole in my pocket but for a different reason. Not because I was curious, but because I knew the truth and it was even worse than I had let myself imagine. I could barely stomach the thought of what he had done to that child what seemed like an eternity ago. Memories of my childhood after my mother died were slowly coming back. I thought I remembered everything, but I was wrong. It seemed that as I grew up, I had suppressed a lot of what happened, and reading the article about the child woke something in my brain. I remembered. I remembered everything he did. I hated him more than ever. He was disgusting. A poor excuse for a man.

  But the poor excuse for a man had been in a good mood lately. So much so, I even caught him whistling a few times, which was making it so much harder to set the plan in motion. If he was happy, we didn’t have a chance of pissing him off enough to make him leave. But we’d waited too long. I knew the time would come soon when Ray’s happy bubble would burst and all hell would break loose. We just had to wait it out in silence.

  It was dinnertime when it happened. We’d been going through the motions of the plan every few days; just testing the waters to see if he was in the right frame of mind for it to work.

  Tonight, looked like a possibility.

  He entered the kitchen with a small white paper bag in his hand and a grin on his face. “So, you’ve been married just over a month now, right?” he directed his question to me.

  “Yes, sir.” I straightened my shoulders and looked him in the eye. Respect. No fear. I couldn’t trust him on a normal day, and I sure couldn’t trust him when he had been happy for so long. He was bound to come crashing down and take a few casualties with him.

  “So, if you’ve been doing your job properly, boy,” He paused and looked at Lucy before throwing the paper bag at her. She caught it easily with a small squeak of surprise, “That should show two little pink lines on it in about five minutes.”

  Kat gasped and stumbled backwards in her heels while Lucy froze as all the colour drained from her face. I wasn’t sure what was in that bag and didn’t understand the reference to the two pink lines, but judging by the girls’ reactions, it wasn’t good.

  “Go,” he barked at Lucy and she scurried out of the room without a second glance. I wanted to follow her, to make sure she was okay, but the look Ray was giving held me in my place. His happiness was crashing. I could see it in his eyes. They were cold, calculating. He was pissed. I just didn’t know what about.

  “Kat, you keep dinner warm while I have a chat with the boy here,” he said as he grabbed me by the arm, twisting it behind my back and pinning me to the wall. I squeezed my eyes shut and grit my teeth. I wouldn’t let him know that he was twisting too far and that my arm was about to snap. I’d take the pain silently.

  “Now, I know what you’ve been up to,” Ray hissed in my ear. I froze as his breath made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. He couldn’t know we were planning to escape. There was no way. “Or rather, what you haven’t been up to. Your sweet little bitch of a wife is in there right now staring at a pregnancy test that is going to show what?” he said, pulling me back from the wall slightly before yelling in my ear. “WHAT? And don’t lie.” He slammed me back into the wall.

  And just like that, it all fell into place. He didn’t know we were escaping. He knew Lucy couldn’t be pregnant because he’d been watching the cameras like the sick fucker that he was. He’d seen that Lucy and I never used our private time the way he expected. Deep down, I knew he would be spying every time we were alone together, but I’d pushed the thought aside and hoped I was wrong. I was stupid enough to believe that he hadn’t watched the cameras because he hadn’t mentioned anything until now, but I knew that was part of his plan. He was a master manipulator. An expert in deception. He had us all fooled with his happy facade that we failed to see the anger lying under the surface.

  “What will it show?” he shouted as he slammed me into the wall again. “WHAT?”

  “A baby. I don’t know.” I was acting dumb, still hoping he’d believe us, but at the same time hoping that this might be what gave us our chance to escape.

  “Bullshit. I watched the tapes. You’ve not been doing as you were told, boy.”

  Slam.

  My head was spinning, and I was seeing those all too familiar white dots in my vision again.

  “I have. We have.”

  “I’ve watched the tapes. Gone over every minute of footage. You haven’t once tried to give me the grandchild I want.”

  Slam.

  “Not once!”

  Something warm and sticky trickled down the side of my face.

  “The honeymoon. We did on the honeymoon,” I groaned, still pressed into the wall.

  “Convenient that it was the time I actually let you have some privacy.” His elbow came out of nowhere and connected with my left ear.

  Fuck, that hurt. I think it was bleeding too.

  “And at night time when it’s dark. What did you expect? A peep show? I have more respect for Lucy than that,” I said. Lucy and I kissed every night in front of the camera in our room, then switched off the light and hoped Ray would think we were making good on our promise. But he wasn’t that stupid. I tried to shrug off his hold, but it didn’t work. Instead, he spun me around and held his arm over my throat, keeping me locked in place against the wall. “You’ve put cameras in every fucking corner of this house, there is no privacy. At. All.” I struggled to breathe or speak, but I was furious. “You’ve made Lucy feel like a victim, not family. You’ve made her so uncomfortable in this house by spying on us. Did you really think she and I would spend our private time the way you wanted us to knowing that you’d be watching? It’s fucked up. Want to get off on shit like that? Watch a porno. Don’t expect us to be your entertainment.”

  It was possibly the dumbest and smartest thing I’d ever said to him. I’d gone too far. I knew that. I had disrespected him, talked back, swore at him, and stood up for myself and my ‘wife’.

  I was a dead man.

  Ray’s face was bright red and his chest was heaving, a wheezing sound coming from his lungs every time he inhaled a deep breath. He still had me trapped by his arm and his glare; I was too afraid to look away. The whole house was quiet. Kat must have gone to be with Lucy and left Ray and I alone because I could no longer hear her moving about the kitchen.

  “You listen to me, boy, and you listen good. I expect you to do as you’re told. You live under my roof. You follow my rul
es. And I want you to give me a grandchild.” Ray spoke slowly, his voice low, deep and angry. It sent a chill down my spine like never before.

  This was a threat in its finest form. “Cameras or no cameras, I don’t give a shit how that little whore of a wife feels. She is nothing but a means to an end,” he said, echoing my previous words to Kat perfectly, only they were meant differently to him. Lucy was a means to an end. She would end this entirely. “She is expected to be your loving wife and mother of your child. If you and her can’t do that, we’d best find you a second wife.”

  “What do you want me to do? Lucy won’t go for that. You’ll have to turn off the cameras in our room if you want it so badly.”

  “I don’t have to do anything. You make her give me a grandchild or she’s as good as dead.”

  “I can’t make her do anything.” I wouldn’t make her do anything she didn’t want. I wasn’t taking the freedom of choice away from her along with her self-respect.

  “A real man can make a woman do whatever he wants, either with a little persuasion or by force if necessary.” He grabbed my arm and twisted it behind my back, shoving me in the direction of the bathroom, where I was sure Lucy would be crying in fear if she’d heard everything Ray had just said.

  “You want me to force her?” Just because he’d forced every mother I’d ever had and still forced Kat, didn’t mean I was going to be like him. I was planning on getting Lucy out of there, and I needed to do it now, otherwise everything would be different come tomorrow morning. I struggled against his hold. I wouldn’t do it. I was not making Lucy do this.

  “I want you to do whatever it takes. If that means you have to tie her to the bed, you do it.” He stepped away from me and turned to leave before pausing and adding the one thing that was a sure-fire way to get him killed, and me in the process. “Or I might just have to do it for you.”

  All the blood drained from my face. White spots danced across my vision as images of Ray tying Lucy down and hurting her flashed through my mind. I was going to throw up or pass out. No. He wouldn’t do it. I’d kill him. Beat him to death with my bare hands before he could touch her.

  “Last chance, boy,” he said and kicked open the bathroom door. He shoved me inside and sneered. “I’ll be watching.”

  Lucy

  I GASPED, JUMPING back in shock as Hendrix came flying through the door. Ray was on the other side, growling like a raging bull. Hendrix lunged for the toilet and emptied the contents of his stomach.

  “Hendrix?” My voice was soft, timid. Scared. What had Ray said or done out there to make him sick? Dread flooded my bones. Whatever it was it couldn’t have been good. I glanced at the pregnancy test in my hands. He knew.

  Hendrix threw up again. I didn’t know how to fix this. It was going so well, or at least we thought it had been. But that look on Ray’s face. He was angry. Angrier than I’d seen him in a long time.

  But that gave me hope. Maybe he would storm out in a rage and drown his fury at the bar, giving us a chance to escape.

  I reached for Hendrix and rubbed my hand up and down his back. “It’s okay. Relax. It’ll be fine,” I whispered before filling a cup of water. “Here, drink this, you’ll feel better.”

  Hendrix looked at me with a mixture of fear and anger blazing in his eyes. It was a look I’d not seen from him before. Usually his eyes were gentle. Now they were hard, cold. “It won’t be fine.” He pushed himself up and brushed his teeth, while I moved to switch on the shower so we could talk.

  “Get in. Relax. You’ll feel better after a shower.”

  “You know he’s…” Hendrix whispered, trailing off. With the sound of the water running we were sure Ray couldn’t hear us speaking, but he could still see.

  “I know. Get in.” I sat on the edge of the tub as he pulled his shirt over his head.

  Hendrix’s eyes flicked up to the camera in the corner and he gulped. His fingers wound around the back of my neck, as he leaned down and brushed his lips along my cheek. “He’s watching. He knows we haven’t…” He paused and took a breath before he continued trailing his lips along my neck. I knew it was a show for Ray, but it still caused shivers to run up my spine and my hands to reach out for him. “He expects me to force you. But, I won’t, Lucy. I won’t. I’ll fix this somehow.”

  I stood up and wrapped my arms around his neck, leaning up on my toes and pressing my mouth to his. “Get in the shower, Hendrix, relax. We’ll figure it out.”

  He unbuttoned the top of his jeans and turned away from me before dropping them to the floor.

  He was naked. Completely naked.

  It was like waving a bottle of whiskey in front of an alcoholic. Okay, maybe not that extreme, but I was a woman. A woman attracted to the man standing naked in front of me.

  My mouth was dry, so I reached for the cup on the sink and filled it, gulping down the cool water, but it did little to help. He stepped into the shower and pulled the curtain closed.

  I closed my eyes and chewed on my bottom lip. We had to do something. Obviously, Ray wasn’t convinced we were doing as expected and if we didn’t figure something out, I was dead. I didn’t want to die. I couldn’t bear the thought of Hendrix getting hurt because of me, either.

  I pushed off the sink and marched over to the shower, kicking off my shoes, and trying really hard not to think about what I was about to do. I unbuttoned the front of my dress and let it slide to the floor before darting in behind the shower curtain. Like hell was I giving Ray a good look.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Hendrix jumped back, covered himself and spun around to face the wall. “I’m naked, Lucy.”

  “And I’m improvising. Saving our lives for another week,” I whispered. “S-s-stay th-there.” Taking a deep breath, knowing I could trust Hendrix not to turn around, I unclasped my bra and removed my underwear, flicking the soggy material out of the shower.

  That should please Ray. Let him think what he wanted.

  The shower was a blind spot. The camera was installed in the opposite corner of the room and there was no way to see inside the shower unless the curtain was open. But, he could see we were both naked and figure out the rest.

  Hendrix was tense, arms braced against the wall as he faced away from me. It gave me the perfect opportunity to study him. His back, the taught muscles, his skin was a canvas of scars. My heart broke for the man before me, for the child he was. He didn’t deserve any of this.

  “I can hear you shivering,” he said into the wall.

  “I’m c-cold,” I chattered. There wasn’t much room for the two of us, and I was trying to keep my distance.

  Hendrix reached for the taps and adjusted the water to raise the temperature then pressed himself closer to the wall. “Stand under the spray.”

  I moved under the water, grateful for the warmth. I didn’t even realise that I had reached for him, until Hendrix flinched at my touch. “Sorry.”

  “It’s okay.” He shook his head.

  “Do you want me to stop?” I asked as I touched the small round cigarette burns.

  “No.”

  There were hundreds of them, dotting his. I traced my fingers over each one, feeling his pain. My heart clenched.

  Hendrix’s breathing increased and I wondered if I was pushing him too far, but he still didn’t stop me.

  My hand drifted down to a large triangular scar on his lower back. I traced the slightly curved edges and winced in pain as I thought about what could have caused such a bad scar.

  “What did he do to you?” I whispered so soft I wasn’t sure Hendrix heard.

  “Hot iron. My shirt was wrinkled and I looked like a slob.”

  “Oh, Hendrix.”

  “I was eleven.”

  If it were possible for my heart to break any more, it did, right then.

  Shattered.

  Tears rolled down my cheeks as images of an eleven-year-old Hendrix being held down by Ray flashed through my mind.

  “I’m so sorry,” I whispered
into his back, wrapping my arms around his waist until they came to rest on his stomach. His hands found mine, covering them completely. His body trembled, and I had no idea how to comfort him. How to take away the pain, torment, torture.

  I pressed my lips to a scar on his shoulder and he tensed, tightened his fingers around mine. I wanted to make him feel better, make him forget the pain of his past for just a little while.

  Throwing caution to the wind, I turned him to face me.

  “Lucy.” His voice was low, gravelly. “Stop.”

  “No.” I cupped his cheek with my hand and pressed my lips together in a small smile. “Kiss me.”

  He froze. Conflict warred in his eyes as he lowered his gaze and dragged it leisurely over my body.

  I just wanted a moment for us to both forget. For Hendrix to lose himself in me and forget his past. I wanted to forget where I was, forget that my life was hell. I wanted to feel something other than hatred, and Hendrix’s kisses and fingers on my skin always sparked something in me; a fire, a desire that I constantly had to extinguish. But right then, maybe it was the fact he was trying so hard to be noble and do the right thing, I just wanted to give into the flames and burn with him.

  As if following my train of thought, Hendrix’s eyes flashed to life, a low growl erupted from his throat and he slammed his mouth down on mine. My hands were in his hair, my lips moulded to his, a small whimper escaped. And I really didn’t know if it was me or him. Or if it was out of pleasure, comfort, or fear. It didn’t matter. It just was.

  His hands cupped my face as he stepped back. Breathing hard, he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against mine. “Can I tell you something?” he whispered against my lips.

  “Yes.”

  “I’m scared, Lucy. I’m scared I can’t fix this.” His voice was full of pain, anguish.

  “Me too.” I pressed myself closer to him, needing the comfort and needing to comfort him.