The Last Dog on Earth

by Adrian J. Walker

  ‘Jenkins,’ I repeated.

  ‘But …’ he brought himself close, ‘it is not safe there. Keep your wits about you and be careful who you trust.’

  ‘Thank you,’ I said.

  ‘Travis!’ Trudi cried again.

  His face glowed crimson. ‘All right!’ he screamed back.

  There was no response. As he stood there, fuming, I took one last look inside the arena.

  ‘I do appreciate your help. It is just that … this is not my world. And I have things to attend to.’

  The rage slowly drained from his face. ‘Aye mate,’ he said, with a fragile smile. ‘I can see that.’

  He looked down at my hand. It was tight around Aisha’s shoulder.

  Following Travis’s directions we soon found ourselves outside beneath a colourless sky. We were on the bank of the Thames, and what had once been a wide stretch of water separating the south from the gleaming towers of the north was now a bog strewn with metal objects in mid-sink – cars, buses, cargo crates, boats. Beneath the devastation I could make out two lines of rubble in the mist: the broken roofs of the Blackwall Tunnel, now surely filled with sludge and decay.

  Peering hard into the mist I could just about make out the north bank, and the Isle of Dogs further west, which had been swept into the bog. Its towers had toppled and were scattered like a child’s bricks, now committed to their own long sink beneath the mire.

  The wind picked up as I turned south. I let my gaze travel past the dome and its bleak neighbouring towers, back towards home. Somewhere out there was Lineker, hungry, scared, possibly injured. It was afternoon now and it would soon be dark. With a pang of misery, I realised that I had never spent a night apart from him since I took him in.

  I turned west and traced with my eyes the mud-caked track around the bank. In the distant fog were grey shapes and dim lights.

  I nodded, heavy with sadness, the terrible decision made. ‘We should be on our way,’ I muttered.

  Aisha was bent over a squat, spiky shrub growing from the bank side. She scrabbled about and pulled something from the lifeless branches. I limped over.

  ‘What is that?’

  In her hands she held a stuffed toy – one of those Japanese creatures with wide, open grins and huge eyes. It was yellow, or had been once, and it looked up at her, its expression a parody of uncontrollable delight. She squeezed its tummy, watching it bend and bow at her will.

  ‘Linn-kaa,’ she said, breathlessly.

  I sighed and knelt before her. ‘I am afraid we cannot search for Lineker today. It is too dangerous and I do not want to risk your safety again.’

  ‘Linn-kaa,’ she repeated, with an urgent fury.

  ‘I know, Aisha, it is all I can think about too, but if that young man in there is correct then this whole area will soon be crawling with people who want to … Well, who are not at all pleasant. But listen …’

  ‘Linn-kaa.’

  ‘Listen, I know my dog. He is brave and hardy, and blessed with a superlative nose. I have absolutely no doubt that he will find his way back to us.’

  I looked up at her, trying to find her gaze. ‘Do you understand? He will be all right, Aisha. Trust me.’

  I was even starting to believe the words myself. Aisha sniffed and rubbed the filthy, tattered fur of the toy in her hands.

  ‘Do you want to keep that?’ I ventured. ‘Do you want to look after it?’

  She looked up at me and a gust of wind whipped her hair back in an inky spray. Still squeezing the toy, she turned and looked out at the endless bog before us. With a flinch and a grunt, she drew back her hand and launched the thing from the bank side, screaming as it sailed in a spinning arc and landed with a splat in the mud. She turned and fixed me with a look of grim resolve.

  ‘I don’t. Like. Teddies,’ she said, clear as day, and marched past me.

  I watched dumbly as she followed the track towards the lights in the west, then hurried behind until I was walking alongside her. My hand brushed her arm. I felt no shock.

  The Bit With the Wolf

  LINEKER

  My back legs faltered and I staggered back.

  ‘WELL? DID THEY CUT OUT YOUR THROAT AS WELL AS YOUR BALLS? SPEAK, HOUND!’

  ‘Now then, I don’t want any trouble, mate …’

  ‘TROUBLE? THE WORLD IS TROUBLE. EXISTENCE IS TROUBLE. ME – I AM TROUBLE. BUT YOU …’

  He prowled before me, snarling, eyes shaking with hunger. ‘YOU ARE NOTHING.’

  Charming.

  ‘Where are you from?’ I asked, and if you’ve ever tried to make small talk with a wolf then you’ll know how ridiculous I felt. Still, he did stop.

  ‘FROM? FROM. I AM FROM THE FOREST OF ETERNITY, FROM THE VULVA OF THE ANCIENT HOLY MOTHER …’

  Christ on a bike.

  ‘FROM THE —’

  ‘Are you from the zoo?’

  ‘YES, FROM THE ZOO, AND FROM THE WAYWARD STARLIT BRACKEN OF FLESH, THE NEBULOUS GODS OF BLOOD THAT STILL RUN THROUGH MINE AND WILL BLEED BACK INTO THE EARTH WHEN MY BODY DIES. THAT IS WHERE I AM FROM, HOUND.’

  I told you. Way too serious.

  ‘But from the zoo, really.’

  He panted, hot breaths pumping into the fog. ‘CRUEL INCARCERATION. THEY KEPT ME, MY PEOPLE AND I. WE WERE CHAINED BEHIND WALLS OF ICE MADE WARM BY THEIR TREACHEROUS WIZARDRY.’

  ‘Glass.’

  ‘YES, GLASS, AND WEAK GRASSLAND UNFIT FOR EVEN A MOUSE AND DOTTED WITH PITIFUL TREES THAT KEPT US AWAKE WITH THEIR WEEPING. AND THEY CAME AND WATCHED US WITH EVERY SUN, AND SMILED AT US, KNOWING NOT THE POWER THEY BEHELD, KNOWING NOT THE DEATH THAT WALKED BEFORE THEM, KNOWING NOT THAT THE FLESH IS THE LIFE. THEY KEPT US THERE UNTIL THE DAY OF RECKONING, THE DAY WE FREED OURSELVES.’

  ‘How did you get out?’

  ‘SOMEBODY LEFT THE DOOR OPEN.’

  The wolf scowled at me as I scanned the shapeless mist behind him.

  ‘And, er, how many of you are there, exactly?’

  He dropped his head and pawed the dirt. ‘ALAS, MY PEOPLE ARE NO MORE. DWINDLED. DEAD. TAKEN BY THE WORLD. I HAD TO EAT MY LAST SON NOT BUT TWO DAYS PAST.’

  I paused. ‘You what?’

  The wolf narrowed the dark hoods of his eyes until two fierce points of light shone out from between them, like coals crushed into diamonds. ‘THE FLESH IS THE LIFE,’ he hissed.

  ‘Yeah, right,’ I muttered. ‘So long as the flesh isn’t yours, eh, bruv?’

  He deepened his already subsonic frown. ‘BRUV? WHAT IS BRUV?’

  He searched the ground.

  ‘Oh, nothing, it just means …’

  ‘PERHAPS YOU REFER TO ONE OF THE FALLEN GODDESSES OF MITHRACHTULL?’

  ‘No, no—’

  ‘OR THE VALES THAT RUN ALONG THE WHITE HAVENS OF EMECHZDAHL?’

  ‘No, not them—’

  ‘WHAT, THEN, HOUND? EXPLAIN YOUR TWISTED WORDS!’

  ‘It means brother. You know, bruv? Brother? Just a turn of phrase, really.’

  His mouth flickered, and he began a slow pad towards me, shoulders rolling. ‘SO YOU STILL RECOGNISE THE BROTHERHOOD?’

  I backed away. ‘Brotherhood? Nah, nah, it’s not that, like I say, just—’

  ‘THAT IS ENCOURAGING. PERHAPS YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN AFTER ALL. PERHAPS THE HOWL CRADLES YOU YET. BRUV.’

  I felt my ears flatten and my tail droop. Not now, I thought, show some balls on your way out at least, you little tart. The wolf bore down on me with a disgusted look.

  ‘WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?’

  ‘They haven’t done anything to me, all right? Just back off.’

  ‘YOU TREMBLE AT THE SIGHT OF ME.’

  ‘I don’t, I’ve just had a bad day, that’s all.’

  ‘YOU SHAKE BEFORE THE IMAGE OF YOUR PAST.’

  ‘I am not shaking.’

  ‘YOUR BLOOD CHILLS TO WITNESS THE MAJESTY OF WHAT YOU ONCE WERE.’

  ‘No. I was never you.’

  ‘WHAT YOU COULD HAVE BEEN.’

  ‘You and I, we
’re nothing alike. We evolved separately.’

  ‘WHAT YOU LOST. WHAT YOU … WHAT?’

  ‘We evolved separately.’

  ‘EVOLVE? IS THIS ANOTHER FALLEN GODDESS?’

  ‘No, just basic science. Look, you and I, we’re different strands of the same rope. But we’re not the same. So back off, will you?’

  The wolf stopped. His haunches rocked forwards, then backwards. Then he sat down. ‘YOU MAKE NO SENSE, HOUND.’

  ‘It makes perfect sense, actually. See, the thing about us canids …’

  The wolf stood. ‘CANID? IS THIS ANOTHER—’

  ‘No, it’s not a god, sit down, sit down.’

  And what do you know? He sat. Good boy.

  ‘Yeah, so us canids, that means member of the canidae …’

  ‘A SPIRIT TRIBE?’

  ‘Kind of, I suppose, more of a family really. Anyway, the thing about us canids is that we’re adaptable. That’s our thing. We just fit in where we need to fit in.’

  ‘FIT IN.’

  ‘That’s right, good lad, so one day long ago there was a canid running about the place that probably doesn’t even exist now, and some of them found a way of fitting in deep within the forests, and some of them found a way of fitting in on the fringes, and those ones ended up spending a bit of time with humans—’

  ‘MONKEYS OF LIES.’

  ‘Not monkeys, no, apes, and we kind of ended up fitting in with them. See? So they became us, the dogs, and the others became you, wolves. Simple.’

  He sat quite still, breath seeping from his nostrils.

  ‘MONKEYS …’

  ‘So,’ I went on, ‘you and I, we’re no more the same than a human and a baboon.’

  He stared straight at me – through me, it seemed – as a low wind skulked about his paws. Then he stood and commenced his approach. ‘YOUR MIND HAS BECOME TWISTED. THE HUMANS HAVE MADE YOU DERANGED.’

  Fuck.

  ‘I’m telling you, it’s the truth.’

  ‘YOU HAVE ABANDONED THE HOWL, AS DID THEY, JUST AS THE ELDERS FORETOLD.’

  ‘Now, now, I can assure you I have most certainly not abandoned The Howl, thank you very much. The Howl and I happen to be very much connected. As it happens—’

  ‘YOU HAVE DEBASED THE PURITY OF THE CREED. YOU HAVE MURDERED THE MOON.’

  He snapped and snarled, only a few feet from me now. I could smell his gullet, and his gut, and all the terrible things inside of it.

  ‘YOU HAVE SQUANDERED YOUR VERY SOUL.’

  I was done. No chance of outrunning him, no chance of talking him out of whatever he had planned next. Death was coming, and all I could do was stick two fingers up at it. That’s what you’d do, right?

  ‘All right,’ I said, planting my feet, back leg still quivering. ‘I’m getting tired of your bullshit. Back off.’

  ‘THE EXCREMENT OF A BULL IS STILL PURER THAN YOUR DECEPTION.’

  ‘Back off, I mean it.’

  ‘BUT DO NOT FEAR, BROTHER. I AM HERE TO SAVE YOU.’

  ‘I’m not your brother and I don’t need saving. Now back off.’

  ‘I AM HERE TO BRING YOU BACK. TO CLEANSE YOU OF YOUR DELUSIONS.’

  ‘You’re the one who’s deluded, you scraggy, murderous—’

  ‘THE AGE OF MAN IS OVER, BROTHER! IT IS TIME TO TEAR THAT RING OF SHAME FROM YOUR NECK AND RETURN TO THE FOLD!’

  ‘Return? Return where? The only place I want to return to is home to my cushion and a nice chewstick.’

  ‘TO THE FORESTS!’

  He closed his eyes and sniffed the air. ‘CAN’T YOU SMELL THEM? THE TREES, CAN’T YOU FEEL THEIR LONGING TO RETURN? THE ROOTS ARE MOVING, BROTHER, THE SOIL IS SHIFTING AND SOON THE TRUNKS WILL BREAK THROUGH AND TEAR DOWN THESE TOWERS OF DECEIT YOU SEE AROUND YOU. THE LAND WILL BE COVERED BY CANOPIES ONCE AGAIN, AND THE WOLF WILL RULE THE BRACKEN AS THEY DID BEFORE THOSE HAIRLESS MONKEYS DROPPED FROM ABOVE AND SET FIRE TO THE WORLD.’

  ‘They’re not monkeys. And what would you know about forests? You’re from the fucking zoo!’

  ‘COME,’ he said. ‘IT IS TIME.’

  ‘What, you want me to come with you? Come and help you start your little tribe again? No fucking way. I’d rather snuggle in with those squirrels than help you out.’

  Probably a lie.

  ‘NO,’ he said, and his eyes gave a feverish flash. ‘I DO NOT NEED YOUR COMPANY. IT IS MUCH SIMPLER THAN THAT.’

  I felt a terrible dread as his little scheme made itself apparent.

  ‘THE FLESH IS THE LIFE.’

  He snarled and snapped, but as his fangs bared and that foul maw prised open, I felt a thundering in the ground. The noise grew as the wolf coiled to pounce, and then, as he finally lunged and I turned my face away, I just caught sight of a black shape shooting from the mist like a cannonball, straight into his side.

  I watched in disbelief as the wolf fell and the black missile bouldered him over and over. Then, as he came to rest with his legs still reeling and the boulder that had sent him there took a few solid paces back, my jaw fell open – at least it would have done if that’s what dogs’ jaws did when they saw old friends long thought dead.

  ‘Wally?’

  ‘All right, Lineker,’ Wally said, with a quick glance over his shoulder and two wags of that sausage-like tail. He returned to his quarry. ‘You stay down! You hear me, wolf? Don’t you touch my friend.’

  Wally. A cocktail of emotions – equal measure love, fear, relief and disbelief – rushed through me. A fleeting reel of bright memories – grass, sun, hot flanks, sweaty tussles, the warmth of my pack – flashed before me. He was alive.

  ‘What the fuck … How did you … ?’

  But the wolf was already up on his feet, hackles raised like burned scrub and eyes glowing with fury.

  ‘WHAT IS THIS MONSTROSITY?’ he shrieked. ‘THIS ABOMINATION? THIS WHORE OF AN ANIMAL! TO WHAT LENGTHS HAVE YOU GONE TO DEMEAN YOUR CREED THIS TIME?’

  ‘Now that’s not very polite,’ said Wally from the deepest regions of his throat. They circled each other, the wolf’s shoulders rolling and Wally’s thick as rocks. ‘That’s not very polite at all.’

  ‘Enough,’ I said to the wolf. ‘This is over, done. Now why don’t we just walk away and put this down to experience, yeah? We’ll go our separate ways – you go back to your home and I’ll go back to mine and we won’t say anything more about it. I told you I didn’t want any trouble.’

  The wolf turned those flaming embers of eyeballs upon me.

  ‘AND I TOLD YOU, THE WORLD IS TROUBLE. WE ARE BORN INTO TROUBLE!’

  And with that he jumped again, straight at Wally. Wally dug in but the impact knocked him from his feet and rolled him in the grass. Before he could set himself straight, the wolf had pinned him on his back and attached his jaws to his throat. Wally let out a gargling yelp.

  ‘Wally!’ I cried and leaped upon the wolf’s matted back. He bucked, fangs still clamped on Wally’s throat, but I dug in my claws, bared my teeth and sunk them into the neck of that terrible beast. With every ounce of my strength I chewed into his loathsome flesh until the sour tang of blood filled my mouth, and though he kicked and struggled I didn’t let go.

  Wally was putting everything into his claws, which he was using to scrabble desperately at the wolf’s underbelly. I saw sprays of red hit the grass on either side, unsure of which of us they were coming from, and as the wolf’s blood pumped into my mouth, and shreds of his muscle and fur slithered over my tongue, I became aware of a strange sensation deep within. It was like a memory unfolding, a door opening into a room you had never entered but always knew existed; a room that was just for you, that kept all the secrets of what you really were. My eyes became crystals and the world gained supernatural clarity in their new gaze.

  The blood is the way, I heard a voice say from untold depths. The flesh is the life.

  And I realised – I had never before tasted the blood of a living animal.

  No, I thought. The shock shook me from the trance an
d I pulled my teeth from the wound. Looking down I saw Wally’s face creased in pain as the wolf renewed its pressure on his neck, and the wolf’s own neck open beneath the ears where I had bitten in. Wally’s efforts beneath were slowing, and I could feel us sink down as he flagged, so I pulled out my claws and I began to scratch with everything I had. I dug away at that wolf’s neck as if it was a flower bed of sinew and muscle. I dug and dug and – what was that? A hoarse yelp from his chops as I hit a nerve. I went further, pulling at fibres and feeling the wound mash into pulp. He bucked and kicked but I would not stop and, as his own grip weakened, Wally renewed his efforts until we were both scrabbling away in unison on either side of the wolf.

  Finally the wolf buckled, just enough for Wally to escape its jaws and smash his huge head against his attacker’s snout. The wolf threw me from its back and, in doing so, lost its footing, and in that split second, with a howl of rage and pain, Wally spun from his back and snapped his enormous jaws around the dazed animal’s front leg. The bone gave a sickening snap and the wolf rolled away, yelping and whimpering, as Wally and I got to our feet.

  ‘Enough!’ I screamed, still shaking from the impact and my recent brush with bloodlust. ‘Stop!’

  The wolf tried to pounce again, but his broken leg wouldn’t hold and he yowled. ‘THIS IS HOW YOU WANT IT?’ HE WHEEZED. ‘I GIVE YOU A CHANCE OF FREEDOM AND YOU CHASE ME AWAY WITH THIS FAT BALL OF IDIOCY?’

  ‘That is also,’ said Wally, gulping, ‘extremely impolite.’

  ‘You were going to eat me, you cunt.’

  ‘THE FLESH IS THE—’

  ‘Yeah, yeah, the flesh is the life, I heard you the first fifty times. But not my life, all right? Not my life.’

  ‘YOU FOOL. EXISTENCE IS NOT A SINGLE LIFE. YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE MYSTERIES OF THE HOWL.’

  ‘Maybe not, but I understand enough to know when someone’s lost their way. You do not eat your kids; that’s a no-no, wherever you think you come from.’

  ‘You’re a very bad dog,’ croaked Wally.