by Kait Nolan
Jace could hear what he wasn’t saying. That a lot of people hadn’t.
“She loves you.”
“I wish we could do something for her, but we don’t have anything to spend.”
Jace realized they must be on an exceptionally tight budget with Tara supporting all of them on her wages as a barista and the money from her yoga classes. It said a lot that she was pulling it off. “What if we could do something about that?”
“How’s that?”
No donations here. Austin’s tone made it clear he wouldn’t accept charity any more than Tara would.
“Y’all made most of the ornaments on your tree, right?”
“Yeah. Tara taught us how to make several last Christmas.”
“Austin did the painted balls,” Ginny announced proudly.
“Yeah?” Their tree boasted a dozen balls with tiny holiday scenes painstakingly painted on each. “you’re really talented.”
The boy just jerked his shoulders.
“You could make more and sell them. We get a surprising amount of traffic between now and Christmas. People buying last minute trees or fresh wreaths or garland. Those ornaments would make great last minute gifts or impulse buys.”
“We don’t have supplies.”
Jace waved that off. “We can pick some up. The cost of supplies will come out of the profits and anything over that is gravy.”
Ginny bounced on her stool. “Let’s do it, Austin. It’ll be fun!”
“How long do you think it would take you to make some?” Jace asked.
“A few hours per batch. Mostly letting glue or paint dry.”
“If y’all can make me a list of what you need, I can make a supply run while you’re in school tomorrow and you can dive in when you get home.”
“My brushes and stuff are still at the house.”
“I can swing by and get those, too.”
“But how will we keep it a surprise?” Ginny wanted to know.
“We’ll set up in the big house. There’s plenty of space and rooms Tara won’t go in.”
Austin and Ginny peered around the horses and exchanged a look. “Sounds like a plan,” he said.
“What’s a plan?” Tara asked, walking into the barn.
The kids jolted guiltily and Jace raced to cover. “The kids want to learn how to make wreaths out of the tree trimmings. I told them we’d have a little wreath-making class on Saturday and they can help me finish up the last batch we’ll be taking in to sell at Edison Hardware.”
“Count me in to help with that,” she said.
“Yeah?”
“It’s the least we can do to say thank you for your hospitality.” She lifted a caddy of drinks. “I brought treats from The Grind. Hot chocolate with whipped cream for you two.”
“Awesome!”
“Yay!”
She handed over the cups to her siblings. “And your mocha with a shot of caramel.”
Jace grinned, delighted she’d remembered. “I told you I’d be a regular before you knew it. Thanks.” He sipped at the drink and found it perfect.
“So, what are we doing here?”
“Playing horse salon,” Ginny told her.
“They’re grooming; I’m polishing.”
“Sounds productive. Think you’ll still have energy after dinner to make cookies for teacher gifts? Miss Linda said we can take over the kitchen in the big house after supper.”
“Did you get sprinkles?” Ginny asked.
“I did. And the stuff to make icing.”
“Cookies are good,” Austin said.
“Yes they are. I’m going to go mix up the dough and get it chilling so that we’re all set to roll out and bake after supper.” She paused on her way out and looked back at Jace, a tentative curve to her lips. “Maybe if you’re not busy, you’d like to help? We eat the disasters.”
“What she means is we make disasters on purpose so we have some to eat,” Austin corrected.
Another step in the right direction. “I’d love to help make disasters.”
Tara nodded. “Then I’ll see you in the kitchen.”
Chapter 6
“Incoming hottie alert.”
At Daniel’s warning, Tara looked up to see Jace coming through the door of The Grind. Her mood lifted at the sight of him even before she took in the striped hat with elf ears. When was the last time she’d been this happy to see someone?
His mom came in on his heels, a Santa hat perched in her silvering blonde hair.
“Well don’t you two look festive?” Tara said.
“It’s the only time of year I can display my ears without ridicule,” Jace deadpanned.
Tara chuckled.
“We’ve been Christmas shopping,” Linda said.
“Ugh, I am so behind on that,” Tara admitted. “I just haven’t had time to go.”
“You should come with us,” Jace suggested. “You’re off in a little bit, right?”
“I am, but I have to go pick up the kids from school. It’s their last day, so they’re going to be wild.”
“Oh, let me get them,” Linda said. “I found a recipe for those sugar plums we talked about and got all the stuff to make them. And they have such fun helping in the kitchen.”
“Making a mess in the kitchen, you mean.”
Linda waved that off. “It’s just part of the process. Seriously, though, I’d love to keep them. And I was a nurse before I retired, so I can handle Ginny’s insulin when it’s necessary. You go shopping with Jace. It’ll save you from being part of the very last minute crowd.”
“You’re sure you don’t mind?”
“Not at all. They’re a delight.”
“Plus I need to ditch her so I can go buy her present in secret,” Jace said.
“Well, if you’re really sure.”
“It’s settled then. I’ll get the kids and you two can go do your top secret shopping. You might as well head to Lawley and make an evening of it. More shopping options there.”
And so it was Tara found herself pulling onto the highway a half hour later, with Jace in the passenger seat.
“I see where you get it,” she said.
“Get what?”
“Your ability to sweetly railroad people. You and your mother are like a couple of border collies. Herding people where you want them to go.”
Jace laughed. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“She totally set me up.” Tara cut her eyes in his direction. “Or was it your idea?”
“She likes you. And she knows I like you. So make of that what you will.”
Rather than being uncomfortable, Tara felt kind of warm and fuzzy about the whole thing. She got to spend the next few hours with an attentive, attractive guy, without worrying about her siblings. She’d had no idea how good that would feel.
“So do you have a list?” she asked.
“Nope. Finished my shopping last week.”
“Seriously?”
“Online shopping baby. They deliver stuff right to your door. But I’m still on the hunt for stocking stuffers. Where all do you need to go?”
“I’m not sure, exactly. I haven’t quite adjusted to not having access to everything in the Dallas metro area.”
“Dallas? Is that where you’re from originally?”
“Originally, no. I grew up in Jackson. But I was in college at SMU before I came here.”
“Yeah? What were you studying?”
Tara hesitated. But this was a logical part of that get to know each other routine. There was no sense in hiding it from him. “Dance. I was working on my BFA in dance performance. SMU has one of the top programs in the country.” She paused. “You’re the first person I’ve told that to in Wishful.”
“Really? Why?”
“Why do I keep it quiet or why did I decide to tell you?”
“Both.”
“I started ballet when I was four, and I loved it. I knew from the first time I successfully did a pirouette that I didn�
��t want to do anything else. And as it happens, I had enough of an aptitude that I could pursue it professionally. That was the plan, anyway.
“I was in the middle of my sophomore year when my father was arrested and the social worker tracked me down. I’d never even met Ginny and Austin, and I’d just been cast as Sugar Plum Fairy for that year’s production of The Nutcracker, which was an enormous honor. Underclassmen never get cast in the principal roles.”
“You came anyway.”
“I came anyway. And they gave the role to someone else.”
“So that’s why Christmas makes you sad. Because Christmas means The Nutcracker and the role you gave up.”
“It’s brutal. It plays everywhere from Thanksgiving to New Year’s.”
“That’s rough. But you’ll go back someday.”
The knife in her heart twisted a little deeper. “I won’t get the chance. The kids need me, and by the time they’re old enough to be out on their own, I’ll be too old to go back.”
She could feel him watching her. “You knew that when you came here, didn’t you?”
The lump in her throat kept her from speaking, so she nodded.
“You walked away from your dream to give your siblings a better life.” When she said nothing he continued, “That must’ve been really hard.”
Tara couldn’t keep the bitterness from her voice. “What do you want me to say? That it was like losing a limb? Cutting out my heart? It was. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But it wasn’t a choice. Not for me.”
“That says a lot about the kind of person you are.”
She shrugged, uncomfortable with the admiration in his tone. “My mother doesn’t understand it. As far as she’s concerned, I took all the years of training, all the classes and work and advantages she worked to give me and threw it all away on kids I didn’t even know, who, in her eyes, had no connection to me.”
“She’s still got issues with your dad, I take it.”
“He was a mistake. One she spent my entire life trying to distance us from. So she sees the fact that I’m here, that I’ve taken primary custody of my half-siblings, as a slap in the face and a rejection. Like I somehow chose him over her.”
“You aren’t here for him.”
That he saw that, understood it, soothed something in her.
“You’re right. I’m not. My dad is a screw up, and I’m not going to let Austin and Ginny pay for his mistakes.” Realizing her hands were fisted around the steering wheel, she made a conscious effort to relax. “I miss dance. And I’m probably still working my way through the stages of grief about the fact that I’m not going to get to pursue it as a career. But I don’t regret walking way for them. I don’t talk about it because I’m just not where I can yet without feeling like I’ve been gutted, and I don’t ever want them to feel like I resent them for being the reason I gave it up.”
“For what it’s worth, I don’t think either of them thinks that.” He went quiet for a moment. “What about the rest? Why tell me?”
Tara looked over and met his eyes. “Because you’re the first guy who found out about my situation who didn’t look at me with scorn or pity.”
“What kind of assholes have you been hanging out with?”
She laughed. “None. None at all.”
“I don’t see anything to pity in your situation. I see plenty to admire. You’ve done a good job with them under difficult circumstances. And maybe you don’t want praise or recognition for that, but you deserve it either way.”
“I’m not looking for a reward. I just want to do right by them. And right now I want to give them the best Christmas I possibly can.”
~*~
Now that she’d pointed it out, Jace noticed strains of The Nutcracker absolutely everywhere they went. As she went about picking the perfect gifts for her siblings, Tara didn’t seem quite as weighed down as she had, but her story bugged him. Talent like that shouldn’t be wasted. Her situation wasn’t the same as Jordan’s, but he could see just as much futility. It wasn’t like Wishful was exactly a hotbed of culture. Still, there had to be something to be done.
“Oh my God, this is perfect.”
Jace dialed his attention back in time to see Tara running her hands over a...what the heck was that? Three tiers of purple and pink, with lots of glitter and some kind of sloping roof, it was clearly girly. “Is that a princess tower dollhouse thing?”
“It’s a princess tower bookcase. Ginny adores books. Right now we’ve got a stack of milk crates to hold her collection, but this would be so cute in her room. I’m buying it.”
“Your wish, milady.” Jace reached out and hefted it into the basket. “What about Austin?”
“I want to find him a drafting table. I got an easel for his birthday, but he’s really more into drawing.”
They wandered the aisles. Jace snuck in some sketch pads and a set of charcoal pencils.
“What are you doing?” Tara asked.
“I told you. Stocking stuffers.”
Panic flitted over her face. “I don’t think the kids actually have stockings. I never found them last year and I didn’t even think—”
“Relax. Mom has it covered. Didn’t you see them hanging from the mantle after dinner last night?” There was one with her name embroidered on it, too.
Her lips pressed into a line, but he could see the amusement in her eyes. “I was way more concerned with cleaning the icing off the ceiling. I should’ve made you do that. You were the one who started that war.”
Jace didn’t even bother to snuff the grin. “How was I supposed to know his aim would be lousy?”
“I think it was less the aim and more his ammunition of choice.”
“At least you hadn’t tinted it yet.”
“Small mercies. Oh, this is it. This is what I want for him.” She circled around a display model drafting table, complete with little containers and trays to corral pencils and erasers and whatever other art supplies Austin might use.
They hunted up one still in the box.
“I think that’s it,” Tara declared.
“Not quite. I saw something earlier I decided I want to nab.” Jace navigated back through the aisles until he found what he was looking for.
“Model horses?” she asked.
“I thought Ginny would dig them.” He picked up the two that looked most like Pepper and Rupert.
“Which one of us are you trying to woo? Her or me?”
“Bonus points if it helps with both.”
“You’re incorrigible. But charming.”
Jace perked up. “You find me charming?”
“Against my better judgment.”
“Excellent.” He rubbed his hands together and drew his brows down in his best evil mastermind impression. “Then it’s only a matter of time before I wear you down.”
“I’m not sure how I feel about that tactic. It doesn’t exactly scream romance.”
Jace stopped in the middle of the aisle. “I can do romance. I’ve been dying to do romance. But I wanted to respect your wishes. Is that a green light?”
She hesitated. “I think maybe it is.”
“You’re not sure?”
“I’m not sure of much of anything these days. But you’ve heard all about how complicated my life is and you’re not running. That’s…beyond refreshing. You’ve given me a chance, so it seems only fair that I give you one.”
“I can work with that.” He restrained himself from leaping into the air with a whoop and settled for tucking her arm through his. “Let’s go check out.”
Over a quick dinner of Mexican food, they decided to swing by her house to wrap the gifts before heading back to the farm.
As they hauled the pile inside, Jace was forced to admit that maybe they’d gone a little bit overboard. And she didn’t even know about the stuff he and his mom had bought earlier in the day. But damn, it was fun to shop for kids!
“Are you going to leave everything here until Christmas Eve o
r do you want to find somewhere to hide them at the farm?”
Tara didn’t answer. She stood, frowning, in the middle of the living room.
“What is it?”
“It’s warm.”
“Well, it’s out of the wind and—”
“No, it’s actually warm. The heat’s running.”
“Oh.” And that thought made him go cold. “Are you sure?”
She headed into the kitchen and switched on one of the burners. With a small hiss and a click, the flame lit. “The gas is back on.”
“Are you sure there wasn’t some just left over in the lines?” Maybe it was selfish, but he didn’t want the gas lines fixed. He didn’t want her to have the option to leave the farm. Not yet.
They got their answer via a flier stuffed in the mailbox. Notice from the gas company that the breach had been repaired and all was well just in time for Christmas.
“We can come home.” She sounded less enthusiastic about that prospect than she would’ve a week ago. That gave him hope.
“Don’t.”
“Jace— ”
He could see that sense of responsibility creeping back and scrambled to head it off. “You’re all settled in at the farm. The kids are having fun. My parents are having a ball spoiling them silly. Stay and finish out that country Christmas I promised you.” He took her hand and pressed it to his heart. “Stay and see where this goes.”
Chapter 7
He'd be going back to school soon. What could really come of the next few days? A part of her wanted to just walk away, get back to her normal life, where everything made sense, where she was in control. But a bigger part looked into his earnest face, into those big brown eyes and wanted to stay in the fantasy he'd created. Even knowing it would end—had to end—she wanted those days with him. Wanted to take the time to pretend that she was just a girl who had the luxury of being courted by a sweet, handsome guy.
What harm could it do?
"Seems a shame to miss out on the chance of having a white Christmas out at the farm."
"That it does." He lifted the hand he still held and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.
The gesture made her knees go weak. She'd given him the green light to romance her. As a start, she absolutely couldn't fault this. Anticipatory nerves sparked, and Tara felt herself sway toward him, wishing he'd put those lips to better use.