Think Again

by Isabel Lucero

  Me: Okay, girls. We’re all in the same message now. So, recap. Hot doctor now works in my office. He seems really nice. I took him around today, had dinner, and drove him to the hotel he’s staying at. The end.

  Jan: I feel like it was more interesting than that.

  Carm: Yeah.

  Me: How could it be more interesting? Hello?

  Carm: Yeah, yeah. We know. Aaron. But still.

  Jan: I just want to know how hot he is.

  Me: Pretty damn hot. Model hot. Fantasize about while fucking someone else hot. Really. Fucking. Hot.

  Carm: Jesus.

  Me: Just being honest.

  Jan: Does Aaron know you spent the day with Dr. Hot Stuff?

  Me: Yep. Didn’t say much about it.

  Jan: Yeah, probably because he’s worried about who he’s fucking and that’s it.

  Carm: Jan!

  Me: It’s okay. We all know how he is.

  Jan: Sorry. :(

  Me: Don’t be.

  “Are you even watching this?” Aaron asks, getting my attention.

  I look up at the TV. “Oh. No. You can change it if you want.”

  “What’re you doing over there?”

  “Uhh . . . texting.”

  “I figured as much,” he huffs.

  “Okay.”

  I know I’m being a bitch, but I don’t care. I’m only answering the questions he’s asking.

  Me: Aaron is mad that I’m texting.

  Jan: Fuck him. Seriously?

  Carm: Men.

  Me: You know I rarely text.

  Jan: We know.

  Me: He wants to know who, but won’t ask. I won’t tell either. Is that messed up?

  Jan: He doesn’t tell you who he’s fucking.

  Carm: Jan! Jesus.

  Me: She’s only telling the truth.

  Jan: I wonder if the medicine is bitter. Asshole. Sorry, Aria. You know how I feel about him.

  Me: No worries. He deserves a taste of his own medicine. I know that.

  Carm: Why don’t you just leave him already?

  Me: You know it’s not that easy. He doesn’t believe in divorce. He’d fight it and make it a big mess to go through. I need proof of all of his shit, and then threaten him with it all, so he’ll settle and not make things even more stressful.

  Jan: Doesn’t believe in divorce, but believes in everything that causes divorce. Dick.

  Me: Ha. Yeah. I don’t get it. If you divorce me, you get to be with whoever you want. I truly think it’s a pride/social thing. He can’t fail at marriage. His parents would look down on him. His colleagues. I don’t know. He’s weird.

  Carm: Hopefully you can get out of that soon.

  Me: Thanks for chatting, ladies. I’ll probably be heading to bed soon.

  Jan: Night, love. Talk soon.

  Carm: Ok. Goodnight.

  I put my phone on the arm rest and look back at the TV. It takes a couple minutes before Aaron says anything, but he speaks to me eventually.

  “So, are you going to be late again tomorrow?” he asks.

  As I open my mouth to answer, my phone dings. His face contorts with irritation.

  “Hold on.”

  I open the phone and read the text.

  Jan: Just keeping him guessing. Love you, chick.

  I smile but don’t respond. Putting the phone back down, I turn and look at him. “What did you say?”

  He huffs. “Are you going to be home at a normal time tomorrow, or will you be out late, or busy texting or something?”

  I snort. “I think I’ll be home,” I answer snidely. “Didn’t realize you cared so much. You’re always on your phone or gone.”

  I close the recliner, and get up to take my can to the trash, but Aaron grabs my arm as I walk by.

  “What’s going on with you?”

  “Nothing.”

  I lie because I can’t tell him that I saw him at the hotel with the redhead. Not yet. But it’s not easy to pretend everything is fine when that’s in the back of my head. I stare at him as I wait for him to let go, and he eventually does.

  “Whatever,” he snips.

  “I’m going to bed. I’ll see you up there.”

  He doesn’t respond.

  I don’t fall asleep right away. Instead, I end up lying in bed playing around on my phone for a while. Aaron doesn’t come upstairs while I’m awake. I eventually fall asleep around eleven, and when I wake up in the morning, Aaron isn’t in bed next to me. His side of the bed hasn’t been disturbed, so I know he slept elsewhere.

  I curl up into the fetal position and try to figure out how we got to this point. We’re like a shattered window. The damage has been done, but we’re still holding on, trying to stay together. But if that window takes another hit, even the slightest nudge, the glass will fall away, leaving nothing but a gaping hole and broken pieces.

  A few minutes later, I get two text alerts within two seconds of each other.

  (907) 555-1002: Can’t stop thinking about . . . that pizza. Did you think I was gonna say you? I thought about it. Do you want to have lunch with me today instead of being alone in the office again?

  (907) 555-1002: This is Chris.

  I program his number into my phone before responding.

  Me: Ha! Of course you’re thinking about me. I’m your ride to the pizza! I guess I can give up solitude again today.

  Dr. C: Actually, I rented a car, so you’ll be riding me.

  Dr. C: Honest mistake. Riding WITH me.

  I laugh out loud at his “mistake.”

  Me: Those damn typos. Well, since you’ve interrupted my lunch once before, I’m sure you know when to be there.

  Dr. C: Yes, ma’am. See you later.

  I get out of the bed feeling giddy. Then I feel a tinge of guilt. Why? Why do I even still have a conscious when it comes to Aaron? I know for a fact that he’s cheated on me in the past, and is more than likely currently cheating on me. He lies all the time and doesn’t seem to care. Why do I?

  Whatever. I’m not cheating on him. I’m having lunch with a co-worker. That’s it. I’m not going to allow myself to feel bad when I’m not doing anything wrong. I’ve had lunch with co-workers quite often. This isn’t any different.

  With a burst of energy, I throw on my “nicest” scrubs, if that’s what you can call them. They’re a light purple with zero designs on them. I braid my hair and let it hang over my right shoulder with a few blonde tendrils coming loose around my face. A mixture of gold and brown on my eyelids highlight the green in my eyes, and a touch of pink on my lips gives some color to my pout. After finishing up, I jog downstairs and find Aaron getting dressed.

  “I fell asleep on the couch by accident.”

  I stop short. “Oh.”

  “My fucking neck is killing me.”

  “That sucks,” I say before continuing towards the garage.

  I wonder if he feels just as awkward talking to me as I do him.

  He grunts. “I should be home on time.”

  “Yeah, me too. Gotta run. Talk to you later.”

  I’m nearing the garage door when he calls out, “Love you.” The way it comes out is almost like a question. Like he’s testing the waters.

  I pause with my back towards him. With a soft sigh, I turn around and face him. “Love you, too.”

  That bastard. I do still love him, and I wish I didn’t. You can’t fall out of love as fast as you might think. You can hate someone and still love them. It doesn’t sound right, but if you’ve been married, you know.

  I love him.

  I’m angry at him.

  I hate him.

  I wish I didn’t feel anything, but I feel every single emotion and it’s killing me.

  Trying to not think about him or anything at all for that matter, I turn up my music in the car and dance in my seat all the way to work.

  “Good morning!” Anne chirps when I walk in.

  “Morning,” I reply with a smile.

  I put my purse unde
r the desk and sit next to her for a minute.

  “You look happy.”

  “Do I?” I question.

  “Yeah. How’s things with Aaron?” She must think things are getting better because I look happy.

  I sigh. “Uhh. The same.”

  Anne doesn’t know the details of mine and Aaron’s problems, but she did overhear a conversation I had with Janna one day when I was really upset with Aaron. I didn’t realize she had walked into one of the exam rooms as I was ranting about Aaron cheating on me. To her credit, she didn’t question me about it, but we both know she knows about my relationship problems.

  Since that day, she doesn’t ask for double dates anymore. I love her for understanding even when I don’t explain everything.

  “Well, how did yesterday go?” she asks. “With Dr. Callahan?”

  “Oh. Great!” I say with enthusiasm. “Yeah, he’s a really nice guy.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yep. He’s really funny, too.”

  I realize I haven’t stopped smiling since she asked about him. She notices too.

  Her smile widens. “So, you like him? You think he’ll be a good fit here?”

  “Definitely. He’s got a good sense of humor, and he’s just . . .” I trail off, recognizing that I’m gushing like a school girl. “Anyway, yeah. You’ll like him.”

  She laughs. “And he’s hot.”

  I let my lips lift up into a smile. “That too. The patients will love him.”

  Scott pushes open the door that sits behind us. “Aria, can you come to my office real quick?”

  “Sure.”

  The door closes and I look at Anne. “Guess I won’t be up here with you today.”

  “I’ll miss ya.”

  I laugh. “I’ll miss you, too.”

  “Good morning, Scott,” I greet when I walk into his office.

  “Mornin’”

  “What’s up?”

  “I just wanted to thank you for taking Chris around yesterday. He said he had a good time, and was able to look at some houses and grab some food. I appreciate you taking the time.”

  “Oh, it’s no problem. I had a good time, too. He seems like a good guy.”

  “He is. A great doctor as well. I’m happy to have him here.”

  “When will he be starting?”

  “I’m giving him enough time to get settled into his house. So, whenever he’s ready.”

  “Okay.”

  “Ready to work?” he asks with a smile.

  “I’m ready.”

  Several minutes later, our waiting area is filling up, and our day is off to a start. We see patients of all ages, and our first is a cute six year old boy who has a cold.

  “One of my noses is clogged. I can’t breathe through both noses,” he complains.

  His mom laughs, and I smile at him.

  “Oh, that’s terrible! I hate when that happens.”

  “Me too. My throat hurts too.”

  “Well, let me have a quick look at you before the doctor comes in, okay?”

  He shrugs. “Okay.”

  I see six more patients before I get a break. Scott is in another room with a patient and the other nurse, Sharon, so I run to the bathroom, then stop by to talk to Anne.

  “How goes it?”

  “It’s going fine. I’m starving, so I’m glad lunch is soon.”

  “Me too. What time is it, anyway?” I look around for the clock. “We only have twenty minutes.”

  “Yeah, and you don’t have another patient before then. The doc is back there now with a patient, and Roberta is already in another room with another patient. So, after he’s done with them it’s lunch time, and we don’t have any patients scheduled until one.”

  “One? Is he staying late today?”

  “Yeah. He has his own appointment to go to during lunch, so we’ll be here until six today. Well, not you. I think just Sharon is staying.”

  “Oh yeah. I’m working this Saturday since she worked last Saturday.”

  A couple years back, Scott decided to open up on Saturdays for half a day, because we had a lot of requests from patients to do so. A lot of them hate going to the ER, and they’d prefer if something came up, to come here and be seen by Scott. Each nurse takes turns working on those days, since it’s only a half day we don’t need to be fully staffed.

  “So, long lunch? Awesome.”

  “I know. Me and Nick are going to Gallo’s. I haven’t had Mexican food in forever!”

  “Ooh. That does sound good.”

  “Wanna come?”

  “Oh, no, that’s okay. I actually have plans.”

  And just then, my plans walks in through the door.

  Dr. Chris Callahan struts his way through the lobby, and I can’t take my eyes off of him. Even though I was just with him yesterday, it’s like I forgot just how truly gorgeous he is. Good freaking god.

  When I pry my eyes away, I notice that Anne is stuck on him, too. Good. It’s not just me.

  “Ladies,” he greets.

  “Hi.”

  “Hello.”

  Anne and I both answer at the same time.

  Today he’s wearing a dark red—almost maroon—button up shirt with black slacks. The shirt is snug around his muscled arms and chest, and I’m trying my hardest to not stare, but . . . Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

  I’m almost certain his face was chiseled by Michelangelo himself, because this type of beauty and perfection was definitely created by a genius.

  “Anne, do you have plans for lunch, darling? I’m taking Aria out for pizza as a thank you for taking me around yesterday, but you’re welcome to join us,” he says with a voice as smooth as velvet.

  “Oh,” she fidgets with her hair, enamored by his charm. “Thank you, but I have lunch plans.” She glances at me with a look that says, this is your lunch plans?

  I clear my throat. “Well, let me just grab something real quick.” I rush through door and into the hall that holds the exam rooms. I brought my purse back into Scott’s office when I knew I’d be working with him today, so I grab that and go into one of the empty rooms to check myself out in the mirror.

  With just a touch of gloss, a little powder, and a spritz of perfume, I make my way back to the front.

  “Ready,” I say, trying to sound as calm as possible.

  “Have fun!” Anne calls out.

  Chris opens the door for me and gives me a smile. “After you.”

  “Thanks,” I say, feeling shy all of a sudden.

  I stop on the walkway, unsure of where his car is parked. His hand touches the small of my back to guide me to where we’re going.

  “This way.”

  “Oh. Okay.” My voice comes out airy and breathless. Calm down, Aria.

  He leads me to a black Cadillac, opens the door for me, and while he walks around to the driver’s side I exhale loudly.

  “How was your morning?” he asks as he starts up the luxury vehicle.

  “Oh, it was good. Went by pretty fast, actually.”

  “Because you were looking forward to lunch?” He grins at me.

  I smirk. “Yeah, I was excited all morning. I couldn’t stop thinking about . . . that pizza. You didn’t think it was because of you, did you?” I say playfully, remembering his text this morning.

  “No, no. I figured you’d be excited to ride me.” He pauses and glances over at me with a sly grin. “Sorry, ride with me.”

  “Oh, yes. Excited about all the riding,” I say with a laugh.

  “I knew you would be.”

  “How’d you get a rental?”

  “I called a cab. I couldn’t stay in that room much longer.”

  “Aww.” I laugh. “Not used to being stuck in a small room all day?”

  “I’ve been known to spend plenty of time in the bedroom, but I’ve always had the option to leave when I wanted to.”

  “Oh god,” I groan while shaking my head.

  “Yes, those words were used while in the bedroom.”r />
  “Stop,” I say with a laugh. “You’re terrible.”

  “Those are not words that have been used,” he says before winking at me.

  “So, you’re just a regular ol’ manwhore, huh?”

  “Manwhore?” He laughs. “I wouldn’t say that.”

  “What would you say?”

  He contemplates for a little bit. “I’d say I’m a man who tried the relationship thing, it didn’t work out, and now I enjoy being single.”

  “So . . . manwhore.”

  He glances over at me and sees me smiling. “If that’s what it’s called these days.”

  “Who would break up with you?” I ask. “You seem like a good catch.”

  “Do I?” he asks, eyes on the road but a grin on his lips.

  I don’t answer because I realize I’m getting myself into choppy waters. Anything to do with his personal life and relationship past is none of my business.

  “What pizza are we trying this time?” I ask, changing the direction of the conversation.

  “The kind that gets us back to talking about how good of a catch I am.”

  And we’re back.

  “That’s okay. I think you know. So, I’m thinking we should try . . .”

  “I know what?”

  I huff. “That you’re a good catch. Why do you want me to stroke your ego?”

  “Do you want to stroke my . . . ego?”

  “You’re wicked, you know that?”

  “Wicked?” He chuckles.

  “Bad, naughty, you know.”

  “I’m just a man, darlin’. That’s all.”

  I can only shake my head and look out the window. It’s too easy to get caught up in a dirty conversation with him.

  “Oh, look!” I screech, jabbing the window with my finger. “Did you see?”

  He looks worried. “No, what?” His eyes are back and forth, trying to look out of my window and the windshield.

  “It was a moose.”

  “Really? Damn. I missed it.”

  “Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of opportunities.”

  “Do they come out by the roads often?”

  “You can pretty much see them anywhere. They usually stay eating grass or trees on the sides of the roads, but they do cross, and you better be paying attention or you’re gonna have a hell of a wreck.”

  “Yeah, I don’t want that.”

  “Bears come around sometimes too. I usually only see the black bears, but we do have brown bears. If your house is surrounded by woods, you can bet they’ll approach it at some point.”