Don't Want To Lose You (Being Yours Novella Series Book 3)

by Dawn Martens

  I leave the house quickly, jogging to my car and speed off. Doesn’t take me long to get to the clubhouse and to the side building where the daycare is. I’m stopped before I can go in, though. “Moira took Lita to her place, you can go pick her up from there,” Jasper says. I look at him, taking in his appearance. How does he keep his long beard so neat, and how does he grow it so well? Every time I’ve tried to grow facial hair, I end up with bald patches.

  I nod at him. “Where can I find Trixie?”

  He shakes his head at me. “You won’t, she’s gone, left town. She wants to move on, and you’re going to let her do that.”

  “She’s my wife!” I yell at him.

  “Yeah, and you fucked up.” He turns on his heel and heads toward his clubhouse as I take my phone out of my pocket.

  Trixie, where the hell are you. I need you to come home – I text and get back in my car, heading towards Moira’s place. I hope like hell Trixie comes back. I don’t know how to do this on my own. I need her. Lita needs her, too. We’re supposed to be a family. How can she just walk away and quit us?

  Chapter 17

  Preston

  I took my chance with Trixie, but it wasn’t enough, at least not right now. When she moaned into my mouth, I wanted so badly to fuck her against her front door, but I knew she wasn’t ready for me yet. For years, I thought my feelings for Lilly were genuine but it turns out it was just a crush. Until I saw Trixie Crescent walking down the street and my attention shifted. There was just something about her that I couldn’t shake.

  I never made a move. Sure, I flirted, which pissed off her husband, but I never crossed that line with her, no matter how much I wanted to. I thought her and Chris had a great marriage until I saw it slowly start to fall apart.

  I always found myself in the friend zone when it came to her. But while I waited for my chance, I made sure I could be the best damn friend possible. Now the time has come to finally pursue her, and she’s leaving. She’ll be back though, this is her hometown, where her entire family lives. She won’t stay away. At least, that’s what I’m counting on.

  Chris can fight for her all he wants, but he’s not taking what’s going to be mine. Trixie needs to be cherished, loved, and no amount of getting drunk would ever have me stepping out on her. I also know from the rumors I’ve heard around town, him cheating with Lacey wasn’t the first time he stepped out on her. According to the gossips, he was a virgin when he and Trixie started dating but then he started to sleep around behind Trixie’s back all the time before they got married. Hell, another rumor has it, that the night before the wedding, he was seen going into a hotel room with two women.

  I don’t know if Trixie knows that, but at this point, it’s not even worth mentioning. Especially considering its just rumors. But rumors always have some sort of truth to them.

  Trixie was gone now, but at least I took my chance to kiss her just once. I know she’ll come back once she’s healed herself and I’ll be here, waiting for her. Waiting to make her mine. To have a family with her.

  I’m going to get my house finished, and the second she rolls back into town, I’m not standing down. No one will stop me from making Trixie my wife.

  End of Part 1

  Part 2

  One year later

  Chapter 18

  Trixie

  I walk into the small lawyer’s office, my head held high. I have to do this. It’s been a year, and I can’t keep putting it off anymore. Coming back to this town wasn’t something I thought I would ever do again. When I left, it was freeing. Gone were my daily reminders of my failed marriage, gone was the image of Lacey being around all the damn time, gone was the hatred I felt whenever I looked at the child my husband made with another woman.

  I moved to Devon, a few hours from Airdrie, had a nice little apartment, got a job at the local coffee house and I felt so at peace. I spent my time moving on, going to therapy, and working on myself. A month ago, I suddenly realized that I can’t run away from my problems, so I started working on my move back. It’s time to right my wrongs and let Chris go. We both need to move on with our lives. Plus my family is here, and I missed being away from them all.

  For the first month, I had voicemail and texts daily from him which I deleted without reading and hearing. After a while, he must have gotten the hint that I wasn’t going to reply to him. I haven’t heard from him since. It’s been good for me.

  “Mrs. Crescent?” a short, yet beautiful older woman greets me when I get in the office. She looks behind me. “Oh, hey Lilly. Your dad’s in his office.”

  “I know, I’m here with her,” Lilly says, pointing at me.

  The woman faces me once more, yielding me a pitiful grin. “Just go sit over there. Mr. Mayer will be with you in just a few moments.”

  I nod and Lilly follows me to the waiting area.

  “You sure you want to do this?” Lilly asks.

  “It’s time. I have to. It's been a year, and this is something I probably should have started before I left town. I need to move on, you know? During therapy, I made a promise to myself that I would never again be with a man that would cheat. I know Chris wouldn’t have done it if he wasn’t drunk, but it’s the same thing, he cheated. Days after the death of our daughter and he got another woman pregnant. I don’t care if he doesn’t remember that night or not, it’s over between us.

  “Does this have anything to do with a certain cop showing you attention lately?” Lilly asks, grinning.

  I shove her playfully. “Quit it.”

  “You’re blushing! I can’t wait to tell Eden.”

  “Would you stop that. And Preston only said ‘hi’ to me in passing, he was not showing me attention.” Must say, I always sort of had a crush on officer Thrane, but never acted on it. Because unlike some people, I was never a cheater. Before I left last year though, he kissed me, and I have to say that kiss has been on my mind ever since.

  “Oh, please, everyone with eyes can see he totally wants you.”

  “Be serious, would you! I’m here to get a divorce.” I try to keep a straight face but we both burst out laughing. I know the situation isn’t funny, but Lilly is so silly sometimes and I am different now. I’m not the Trixie I became after losing Lola, I’m stronger now.

  “Mrs. Crescent? He’s ready for you,” The receptionist says, interrupting us. She gives me a disapproving look. Then Lilly sticks her tongue out her and we start laughing again.

  I get up, Lilly comes with me.

  This is it, this is the day I file for divorce.

  Chapter 19

  Chris

  Trixie’s back. Only reason I know this is because I spotted her walking into Sam Mayer’s law office this morning. Fuck, she’s back, and the first thing she does is go to a lawyer. The first thing she should have done was come to me.

  This last year without her has been rough, but I’ve gotten through it. Lita is growing so much and talking so much more. Without Trixie around I had to ask for help with Lita’s care so I could work. I didn’t want to send her to daycare but I didn’t exactly have anyone else to watch her, so every morning, Monday through Friday, I drop her off at Moira’s daycare. When I work on Saturday, Jess watches her for me.

  Allan has been telling me to just move on, it’s been a year and Trixie’s obviously over me, but I can’t. I haven’t even looked in the direction of another woman since she left. And talk around town, neither has Preston-fucking-Thrane. Rumor has it that before Trixie left, they were making out in front of my damn house. When I confronted him about it, he didn’t deny it, which pissed me off.

  If he thinks for even a moment that he will replace me in Trixie’s life, he’s got another thing coming. I know Trixie, she won’t give up our eleven years together for someone new.

  Around lunchtime, my office phone rings. “Yeah?”

  “Hey, I have someone out here to see you. Want me to send him back?” Sandra, our shop receptionist, asks.

  “Yeah that’s fine.�
� She said him, so there goes my wishful thinking that Trixie was here for me.

  My door opens after a quick knock and in comes Sam Mayer with his damn briefcase and an officer. Fucking Thrane.

  “What?” I bark at them.

  Sam digs through his case and pulls out a file. “You’ve been served.”

  Thrane smirks at me and follows Sam out of my office.

  I stare at the file on my desk. I don’t need to open it to know what’s in there. It makes sense. Trixie was going into Sam’s office just this morning.

  Fuck, she really did it. She doesn’t want us to have another chance to make our marriage work. I can’t let this be over.

  “Sandra, let Joel know I’m taking the rest of the day off to take care of some things.” I hang up my phone, grab my jacket, and take off in search for Trixie, but not after I head to my lawyer to see how I can drag this out. I’m not just letting Trixie end us.

  I never should have just accepted that she was gone. I tried everything when she first left to find her. None of the Angels or their women were talking to me, except Moira when she’d babysit, but she still never said a word about Trixie. When I’d bring her up, she’d change the subject.

  I tried calling and texting but never got a response back. Lita was suffering that first month because I was so focused on getting Trixie back. I had to finally just let Trixie do her thing and pray she would come back to me, while I focused all my attention on my daughter.

  But now Trixie is back, and I have to do something to save us.

  **

  “What do you mean there is nothing I can do?” I stare at Ms. Green as she examines the documents I received from Sam.

  She closes the file and takes off her glasses. “You have been separated for a year, living separate lives, living in separate cities. The only way to stop this divorce is if she calls it off. Otherwise there is nothing you can do. In four months from today’s date, you will be officially divorced.”

  “There has to be something? I don’t want a divorce; can’t I contest it or something?”

  She shakes her head. “If she filed these papers a year ago at the beginning of the separation, sure. But now? No. The laws are quite clear on this. I’m sorry I can’t be of more help. The good news is she wants nothing from you, only personal items from the house you share and her car.” She opens the folder back up. “She only cites irreconcilable differences, so you should be lucky. If she put in infidelity it would be a quicker process.” She arches an eyebrow at me, waiting for me to respond.

  I shake my head. “So, there is nothing. Nothing can be done to save my marriage?” She shakes her head. “Well, looks like I’m going to find her and try to convince her to call this off.”

  I get up from my seat, and head out of her office and drive straight to Lilly’s house, hoping Trixie is there.

  Chapter 20

  Trixie

  I feel free now. I filed for divorce, Sam said that even if Chris tries to stall it, which I know he will, there is nothing Chris can do. We’ve been separated for a year, so Sam said four months max is all I’ll have to wait before it’s complete. Whether Chris tries to fight or not.

  Also, I didn’t put anything about his cheating in the divorce papers, just irreconcilable differences. Although if he fights too hard, I’ll have Sam add infidelity to the paperwork.

  It should be fairly easy, considering I only listed that I wanted my personal items from the house. I don’t want his money, his home, nothing. Eden and Lilly got me a place to stay, and I’m working full time at Eden’s diner as one of the cooks.

  Have I thought about Chris since I left? To be honest, only during my therapy sessions. In my personal time, the only man I’ve been able to think about was Preston. I have dreams almost every night about the way he kissed me before I left. It sounds silly, but I had never felt that way before just over a kiss. I thought I loved Chris, and I did in my own way, but that kiss told me a lot about myself. With Chris, I was settling. I thought I should be with him because of our history instead of wanting to be with him because I couldn’t live without him, his touch, his kiss.

  The sad part is, I haven’t missed any of those.

  I’m sitting in Lilly’s house, waiting for her to get off work so she can take me to the place I’m going to be staying. I don’t know why they couldn’t just tell me so I could head over there myself. The girls just kept saying I had to wait. They said the same thing when I told them I could just go shopping for items for my new place while waiting for them.

  I’m watching re-runs of Slasher, my favorite horror TV show, when pounding comes at Lilly’s front door. I have a feeling I know exactly who that is.

  I open it and come face-to-face with my soon to be ex-husband. He looks good, his blonde hair is still short the way he likes and his hands are, as usual, stained with oil from work. He even looks like he gained some weight.

  “Trixie,” he whispers as he takes me in.

  “Chris, you shouldn’t be here, we should only talk through our lawyers.”

  He punches the side of Lilly’s house and curses. “You need to call off that divorce, Trix. I love you, don’t you see that? We can make it work.”

  “Chris, we’ve tried that, it’s just not gonna happen. I left because I wanted to start over. I couldn’t be around you and Lita,” I tell him calmly.

  “So, that’s it then? You won’t even try to work it out with me?” he asks in disbelief.

  I give him a sad smile. “I’m sorry, Chris, but there is nothing to work out anymore. You need to move on, find someone else that can love you, someone that can be a good mother to your daughter.”

  “Fuck that, I love you, Trixie. Look me in my eyes and tell me you don’t love me, I’ll leave if you can do that.”

  I stare at him. “I do love you, Chris.” His face lights up. “But I’m not in love with you anymore. You need to accept that.” The death of Lola changed us both. But we held on to each other when we really should have let go. Chris needs to realize our love for each other is long gone.

  He sees the truth in my eyes as I never once look away from him.

  “I’m sorry I fucked us up,” he tells me.

  I give him another sad smile. “You didn’t, not really. We just grew apart, Chris. I forgive you for cheating on me. But, us together? I’m sorry, but we’re over. We have to be. Or we’ll fall right back into old patterns. You’re a good man, you’ll find someone else.”

  He looks at me, tears streaming down his face, and my heart hurts for him.

  “You’re right. If there is anyway to speed this up, to help you, please just let me know what I can do.”

  “Just sign, the sooner you sign, the faster we can both move on.” I feel like a bitch for saying that but, really, it’s the truth.

  “I still love you, Trixie, I’ll give you this. But it doesn’t mean I won’t stop fighting for you, fighting to be part of your life. Maybe we can date again, start over, you know.”

  I shake my head. I knew it wouldn’t be so simple. “We’ll see, Chris.” I hate giving him false hope.

  I close the door once he leaves and feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I thought that would go harder than it did, but now I feel as if I can finally begin my life. I’m still young, twenty-nine now, I still have plenty of time to find someone to love me and have a family with.

  Chapter 21

  Preston

  I finish setting my house up, in hopes that Trixie will love it. For now, I have her in my guest room, but I’m hoping it won’t take long to convince her to share my bedroom with me. I grab my phone and send a text off to Lilly, letting her know I’m ready for Trixie to come home.

  An hour later, I hear car doors slam shut. I look outside and grin when I see her. Trixie. Fuck me, she is so damn beautiful. Even prettier than I remembered. Not that I could forget a face like hers. I’ve memorized every detail about this woman, imagining all the things I would do to her. When I first saw her years ago, somethin
g about her drew me in. It wasn’t her innocence, because I knew she was far from it. As we got talking and forming a friendship, it was just her. Sure her beauty drew me in, but her personality was what made me fall in love with her. The way she’d talk with her hands, the way her face would light up over the silliest of things. Looking at her now, I can see that’s she’s slightly broken, but that’s nothing I can’t fix.

  “Wow, this place is beautiful. I don’t know if I can afford this though.”

  “Babe, you ain’t paying,” I say as I open my front door.

  Trixie stares at me in shock and Lilly, Eden, and Moira try to hide their laughter. It didn’t take much convincing to assure the ladies that I wanted Trixie with me, especially with how they saw I didn’t so much as look at another woman since I found out Trixie was leaving Chris.

  The last few months the girls were over here helping to spruce my place up, and their husbands came over to help fix the bigger things. I bought this house five years ago. I always wanted to get a fixer upper, but I’ve been slow at getting around to the fixing. The Angels and their women came in handy, and the house was finally finished.

  This is the house I will build a family in with Trixie.

  What Trixie also doesn’t know is that I got approval from her parents. Jilla and Greg were hesitant at first, not sure if Trixie should be in another relationship so soon after Chris. But I made them realize the day that Lola passed was the beginning of the end for them. It just took Chris and Trixie years to figure it out.

  “Wait, what? You mean I’m staying in your garage apartment, right?” Trixie asks. I can see the confusion on her face. She’s cute and so damn sweet.

  I smile at her and she blushes. Yeah. Love that blush. “Sorry, babe, but you’ll be in the main house with me.” I bend over and grab the bag she dropped by her feet. “I meant what I said before you left.” I turn and walk back into my house hoping she follows me.