Intentional

by MK Harkins

  She looks back at me and laughs. “Of course!”

  Mattie

  I can’t believe I have to go over this again with Sarah. “He isn’t a player. He told me he hasn’t been on a date for months. It’s office gossip, Sarah. I can already tell he’s not like that.”

  She’s shaking her head. “I have good information. You’re just seeing what you want to believe. He’s no good for you, Mattie! Wake up! I’ll admit that he is handsome, but he comes with a price. He’s going to hurt you, and I don’t want to have to pick up the pieces.”

  She’s wrong—I can feel it. “I don’t know why you can’t just trust my instincts on this,” I say.

  “Do I have to remind you again of Evan?” she asks.

  Not that again! I make one mistake, and it’s going to haunt me forever. “No, I don’t need a reminder. I learned from that experience, Sarah. That was years ago. Jeremy is different. I really like him. This feels right.”

  I need to get out of here. Jeremy is picking me up in a few minutes. I don’t want him coming to the door when we’re arguing like this. I grab my sweater and head out to the front porch.

  It’s a beautiful evening. I love movies, but I realize that I’m really not in the mood to sit in a theater tonight. I wonder if I can talk Jeremy into a hike instead. I see his car pull up, and he jumps out.

  I look back at the house, hoping that Sarah won’t come out and create a scene. It looks quiet, so I focus my attention back on Jeremy. Every time I see him, he takes my breath away. I’ve seen him only in suits so far, but tonight he’s wearing a pair of tight-fitting jeans and a T-shirt. Wow. Oh, man, does he look good!

  I shake off the argument with Sarah and head out for the best date of my life.

  Chapter 4

  January

  Mattie

  For our second date, we decide on a “tourist” and shopping outing scheduled for the next weekend. As soon as Jeremy found out that I haven’t had a chance to see all the landmarks in and around Sedona, he designated himself as tour guide and mapped out the day for us.

  I’m pacing back and forth across the living room, anxiously awaiting our date. Jeremy should arrive soon, and I am looking forward to seeing him again. Sarah has gone out on some errands, so at least I don’t have to worry about her unpredictable behavior. As time goes by, it seems as if her attitude is getting progressively worse. I wonder if it’s partially due to the pressure of a new job. I think I’ll plan a spa day for both of us in the next few weeks. That should lift her spirits.

  Jeremy pulls up to the curb right on time. He hops out of his car and practically runs to our front door. I open it, smiling.

  “Ready?” he asks, almost out of breath.

  I laugh. “Yes. Are we in a hurry?”

  He laughs in return. “Nope, not at all. I’m just excited to get going.” So am I.

  We head out on the Red Rock Scenic Byway. Jeremy holds a fake microphone in his hand and starts his spiel in a very deep voice: “Guest, I want you to know that this byway is one of only twenty-seven roads in the country designated by the US Department of Transportation as ‘All-American Roads,’” he says, taking his hands off the wheel while he does the quotation sign, “for their exceptional and unique recreational, natural, and scenic qualities. Besides the spectacular golf, hiking, and biking, both on and off the road, the Red Rock Scenic Byway, State Route 179, features scenic pullouts for travelers to enjoy the magnificent views.”

  I’m laughing and looking around for his cheat notes. “Did you memorize that for me?”

  He looks over at me; his eyes are twinkling “Just for you, Mattie.” He’s so funny.

  The day is cloudless. The deep blue color of the sky amazes me. It almost doesn’t look real. This feels a lot like our first date; I feel completely comfortable and happy. We spend the next few hours enjoying the majestic Red Rock views and the beautiful, piñon-filled Coconino National Forest. Jeremy stops on the side of the road every now and then so we can take pictures with our cell phones. I’m going to have a lot of great ones by the time we’re done.

  We’ve set aside the second part of our date for shopping. First, though, we need to find a place for lunch. I ask Jeremy, “Do you have a particular place you want to have lunch?”

  He responds, “No, not really. Do you have something in mind?”

  That’s good. “I’ve heard about a restaurant that sounds really interesting. It’s called the Barking Frog Grille. Whoever was creative enough to come up with that name must have great ideas for the menu, don’t you think? Have you been?”

  He laughs. “No. Let’s give it a try.”

  We have a fantastic lunch. Jeremy orders the Harris Ranch flat iron carne asada, and I try the chile-crusted Clear Creek calamari. We share with each other and decide that both dishes are equally good. I’m so glad that I was right about this restaurant.

  I’m having so much fun talking and laughing with Jeremy, I don’t even notice that they are closing down lunch and preparing for the dinner crowd. “Looks like we’d better get going,” Jeremy says, looking around the restaurant. “I’m surprised they haven’t kicked us out yet!” I take my sweater off the back of the chair, and we head out.

  “What’s next?” I ask.

  “We’re going to find you some of those knickknacks you mentioned needing for your house.”

  He remembered! “That’s great! Lead the way.”

  Jeremy turns to me with his fake microphone and deep voice. “Both seasoned and beginning collectors agree that Sedona is one of the best places in the world to buy fine art and jewelry.”

  I shake my head. “You’ve been on the tourism site for Sedona, haven’t you?”

  He laughs. “Who, me?”

  We spend the rest of the day shopping at the Sedona Arts Center gift store and the Sedona Heritage Museum shop. I find almost everything I need for our house with Jeremy’s help—he’s really good at this. We load up his car and head for home.

  As we near my house, I start to wonder if Jeremy will kiss me. On our first date, he was very gentlemanly. He walked me to the door, said good night, and left. It didn’t bother me, because we had such a great date. I assumed he wanted to be extra careful because he doesn’t want to come off as the player Sarah described. I can already tell that he isn’t.

  Today, he hasn’t touched me at all. I was hoping he might hold my hand or put his arm around me at some point during the day. I really want to kiss him. I spent the entire time at lunch staring at his lips. He has the most inviting lips I think I’ve ever seen; they are so full and soft-looking. As I sit beside him in the car, I can’t help but imagine what his lips would feel like on mine. I can no longer deny this powerful attraction I have for Jeremy. I’ve tried to fight it, but all my efforts have been in vain. I can’t be around him and not want to get closer. I remind myself to keep an emotional distance—I need to be careful.

  We pull up to my house, and Jeremy jumps out of the car to open my door. I turn and grab a few of the items I’ve purchased today. Jeremy reaches over and takes the remaining bags, and we head inside.

  He drops the bags inside my door and says, “Thanks for going out with me today. I had a great time!”

  That’s it? He’s leaving? I ask, “Do you have to go?” I’m hoping he’ll come in for a little while.

  “Unfortunately, I have a case going to trial on Monday. I have a mountain of work sitting on my desk as we speak.”

  I’m disappointed. “Okay, I don’t want to keep you. Good luck with your mountain!”

  Jeremy starts to go out the door. “Hey, what’s your favorite movie?”

  Before I can even think about it, “Pride and Prejudice” pops right out of my mouth.

  He smiles. “Can you come over on Saturday for a movie night?”

  I nod. “Okay—I’ll call you this week and we’ll make plans. Thanks again.” And he’s gone. I don’t get a kiss, but I have a date. I guess that’s good.

  Jeremy

 
I’m really excited to show Mattie around Sedona. I think she’s going to love it. We head out on the Red Rock Scenic Byway to view nature at its best. Mattie seems relaxed and happy as we make our way along the winding roads.

  We stop at a particularly scenic viewpoint and get out of the car. Mattie looks over at me and exclaims, “Isn’t it beautiful? These pictures are going to be great!” She turns around to take a few more shots.

  I feel an overwhelming urge to grab Mattie and kiss her senseless. I didn’t expect to have such intense feelings for her. She already thinks there is a possibility that I’m some sort of player because of some unfounded office gossip, so I don’t want to scare her off on our second date.

  I’m trying hard, but I can’t seem to get myself under control, both emotionally and physically. My mind is telling me to slow down, but my body is gravitating toward Mattie every time she’s within a few feet. This is disconcerting because I’m always in control. I have systematically put my life together in such a way that I know what to expect in most every situation. This never happens to me.

  Mattie suggests a local restaurant for lunch, Barking Frog Bistro. She couldn’t have made a better choice—the food is great, and the atmosphere is intimate, with romantic lighting, soft music, cozy booths, and Mattie. She would make any setting feel intimate to me. We sit close together, almost touching, so that I can smell the floral, sexy musk scent of her perfume.

  I fantasize about leaning in those few inches, running my nose over her neck, and placing a kiss just below her ear. I’m already leaning forward when I stop myself. This is getting ridiculous. It takes all my willpower to pull back, but looking at Mattie I wonder if she feels this too, this attraction and connection that’s happened faster and harder than anything I’ve ever experienced. Just as the thought crosses my mind, I see her looking at my lips, and my resolve crumbles to dust. I lean forward again. Bang—the loud crash of falling dishes brings me back to my senses.

  I look around and discover that we are the only customers left. We have been so involved with each other that I haven’t noticed. We decide to head out to the shopping portion of our date.

  I spend the rest of the afternoon shopping with Mattie. We continue to laugh and talk as we go from store to store. I find myself making an effort to keep a healthy distance from her. I think if I touch her, even a slight touch, it will set me off.

  I’m really enjoying the day with her, but this internal battle is starting to wear me down. I need to get her home so I can go back to my house and jump into a cold shower.

  Chapter 5

  January

  Mattie

  It’s our third date, and my nerves are a tangled mess. I think it’s because the date is going to be at Jeremy’s house. I trust him already, but I hope he doesn’t have the wrong impression about why I agreed to come. I wouldn’t usually go to a man’s house for a date, especially so soon, but the combination of Jeremy and Pride and Prejudice was too much for me to resist.

  I am not even going to tell Sarah anything about this. She’ll go ballistic! She’s overprotective sometimes, but I know it’s just because she cares about me.

  Jeremy offers to pick me up, but I make an excuse to drive myself over. I tell him I have some errands to run and I’ll need my car. I want to be able to leave when I choose. I guess Sarah’s unrelenting dialogue about Jeremy is making me cautious.

  I park in his driveway and take a good look around. This is really intimidating. I didn’t grow up poor or anything, but this place is palatial in comparison with what I’m used to. My parents worked hard to afford the typical middle-class neighborhood that I grew up in. We lived in a cute rambler with three bedrooms and two bathrooms. I never really thought about money during my childhood. I always felt that I had enough. I still do, but this house is so different from what I’m accustomed to.

  What am I doing with this guy? He’s so beautiful, it’s almost painful to look at him. Now I find out he’s rich. Extremely rich. I really shouldn’t use that against him, but this is way out of my comfort zone.

  I walk toward the house. It looks like a Tuscan-style colonial. It’s perched neatly on a few acres with a 360-degree Red Rock view. My stomach dips as I walk past the courtyard and its huge water feature. The sound of the tinkling water helps calm me a little.

  I take a deep breath and continue on to the front door. It can’t be just a normal door—no, it’s twelve feet high, made out of iron and brass. I’m feeling a little bit like Elizabeth Bennet in the movie we’re about to watch. I decide to keep an open mind and knock on the door.

  Jeremy answers almost immediately. His hair is all messed up, he’s wearing a pair of sweats and a ripped T-shirt, and he has peanut butter on his cheek, right below his eye. This is not what I was expecting. I look him up and down. It looks like a peanut butter party has taken place all over his clothing. I ask, “What have you been doing? Exploding peanuts?”

  He takes a look at himself and laughs. “It got a little out of hand. I’m usually pretty good at this. Come on in and I’ll show you.”

  I walk in, and my feeling of being overwhelmed returns. This place is spectacular! The windows are floor to ceiling to take advantage of the breathtaking views. There are cathedral ceilings with skylights. I see a solarium. I’m guessing there is a library, but I don’t want to snoop around too much.

  Jeremy leads me into his dining room. I’ve noticed something about his house: it is sparkling clean. This doesn’t look like a bachelor’s home at all. I ask, “Do you have a full-time maid or house cleaner?”

  He grins back at me and answers, “No.”

  “Do you have your mom living here?” He throws his head back and laughs hard.

  I start laughing with him. “Okay, I guess that was a stupid question.”

  He shakes his head. “No, not stupid, just funny!”

  I have to know. “So explain to me how this house is so clean.”

  He guides me over to the couch and sits next to me. A little smile appears on his lips. “You’ve found me out. It’s my deep, dark secret.” I wait for him to continue. He takes a deep breath. “I like to clean.”

  It takes me a minute to connect the words with the person. “You mean, you keep this huge house clean all on your own—no help?”

  “Guilty,” he replies.

  I study him for a bit. He doesn’t look like he’s joking. I need to tell Jeremy something: “I have a dark secret too.” He raises his eyebrows. “I’m like a tornado. I might be the messiest person I know.” He scoots closer to me and takes my hand. I look down at where our hands are joined; mine is actually tingling. The sensation is traveling up my arm and spreading throughout my body. I realize that I’m not in any danger from Jeremy’s making inappropriate advances—I’m the one that I need to worry about!

  He looks right into my eyes. I can’t look away. He says simply, “I’ll do it. I’ll clean up after you.” He’s serious! That is probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. My messy behavior usually brings out the worst in people.

  I laugh. “Thanks. Although it does look like you have a little mess going on in the dining room. I can help you clean that up.” He gets up from the couch, tugging me up with him.

  Once we get to the dining room, I see what’s going on. He’s got about eighty pieces of bread spread throughout the dining room and kitchen. I spot two large, open jars of peanut butter, a big container of honey, and one of raspberry jam.

  “Tomorrow is my day to deliver sandwiches to the men’s shelter downtown. I just need to put these together, and I’ll be ready to go.” He continues to hold my hand.

  I look up at him and ask, “Why?”

  He shrugs his shoulders. “Because they need it.”

  I am overcome with an incredible rush of emotion. Could I be falling in love with him? Already? This is insane; it’s only our third date. As I’m struggling with these new feelings, Jeremy looks over at me and asks, “What is it? Is something bothering you?”


  I don’t know how to answer this, so I say the first thing that comes to mind. “I’m trying to figure you out.” Jeremy seems so perfect. Can I trust him? Can I trust myself or my feelings? I want to be smart about this. I’ve been trying so hard to be careful with my emotions; I don’t want to make another mistake, like the one I made with Evan.

  He smiles. “What you see is what you get.”

  He seems ideal, wonderful. I want to believe him. I know my body wants to believe him. “You almost seem too good to be true.”

  Jeremy laughs. “Well, I can dispel that for you right now, Mattie. I’m far from perfect. I spend most of my life trying to control the outcome of most every situation. It comes in handy with my job, but on a personal level it can make relationships challenging.”

  I look into his soulful brown eyes as my heart flutters in my chest. I love a good challenge.

  I lean over to wipe the peanut butter off his face. He grabs my hand; now he has both of them. He holds them together next to his chest. We stand looking at each other.

  He asks, “Mattie, I might be crazy, but do you feel this? I feel something so deep for you, I can’t even explain what it is. Do you know what it is?”

  Breathless and dazed, I nod. “I think I might.”

  He continues to stare into my eyes as he slowly brings his lips to mine. I thought that when he held my hand he was setting off sparks, but this? The second his lips touch mine, I ignite. I can’t help my response. The minty taste of his toothpaste combined with peanut butter was the most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted. I need to get closer, so I lean in.