“Okay,” Carrie said.
“I want you there. I want you right there, when he gets out. You let him look you in your eyes, Carrie, and you make sure he remembers who you are. The girl from the hallway at his show. Imagine how intrigued he’ll be when you show up again. It’ll connect with him. It’ll be right there... right in his mind. He won’t be able to resist...”
Carrie smiled. Her panties were soaked. She could feel herself already throbbing, wanting it. Wanting that moment. Needing that moment.
John leaned forward and got as close as he could to Carrie.
“You can’t fuck this up,” he whispered.
“I won’t,” Carrie said.
“Make him need you. Make him need everything from you. Whatever it takes...”
“Yes,” Carrie said. “Yes.”
Carrie’s body was so warm. She was tender, ready. She looked at John and her lips started to quiver.
“I... I need...”
“Tell me,” John said. “Tell me.”
“I need you to fuck me,” Carrie said. “Right now. I can’t...”
John put a hand over Carrie’s mouth. He shook his head. “Remember, you’re still being punished. Stand up and leave. Take your fucking money and leave. Come back in an hour in a different change of clothes and look as desperate as you do right now.”
Carrie shivered and stood. John stared at her with a look of disappointment. Carrie knew that look. She grew up living with that look her entire life.
She left the apartment and rushed outside. She collapsed back to the building and began to weep again. It seemed that whenever it came to Slader, emotion got to her. John made her feel so worthless and Slader gave her hope... yet both men, quite honestly, probably had no interest in her at all.
There’s a whisper in the stars, a mark we can catch through the night. Shine, twinkle, burn, die. They’re all forgotten, just like us. We spin and watch it. If I could just have this moment, if I could just lock this... where did you go?
.11.
Jessica had a hoodie on and she hugged herself. She stood in front of the massive stone fireplace and was still cold. The feeling inside her wouldn’t be cured by the heat from a fire or the warmth from clothing. Not even the heat from the sun itself could fix this. Jessica couldn’t believe that Slader had been taken away in handcuffs. And there was nothing he could have done about it. To make matters worse, Slader’s manager, Jerry, stormed out of the cabin a second after Slader was taken away. The other man, Charles, offered Jessica food and drink because it was his job to do so.
The bottom line was that Jessica would have to wait to see if Slader came back, or at the very least, his manager. Eventually Jessica would need a way from the mountain back home, right? Or maybe Slader’s strict command was to keep her there. Maybe he knew something was going to happen. If what he was accused of was true, it seemed pretty serious.
The fire continued to burn and Jessica continued to stare at it. Somehow an hour went by. The fire was down to glowing embers and nothing else. Jessica had no urge to move, no urge to even try to keep the fire going. Part of her wanted it to die. She wanted to watch it die and cry over it. Part of her wanted to feel the cold air from the outside and make her shiver into nothing.
It was a voice from behind her that made her snap out of her trance and jump.
“I’m so sorry,” Charles said. “I didn’t mean...”
“It’s fine,” Jessica said. “My mind is racing. Did you hear anything?”
“No. And I wouldn’t. It’s not my business. May I tend this fire?”
Jessica backed up. The man began to bring the fire to life. Jessica appreciated it. All it took was poking at the embers for them to light up and find some wood to burn. From there, Charles put a few small logs on the fire. They caught and in the matter of a minute the fire was back to life, jumping, crackling, satisfied.
“There,” Charles said. “I hope this makes you comfortable.”
“It doesn’t,” Jessica said. She didn’t care how harsh it sounded. She didn’t even look at Charles.
“Ma’am, if you need anything. Food or drink...”
“Does he have whiskey?”
“Mr. Slader is a rockstar...”
Jessica looked at Charles and had the strange urge to hit him. She just stared at Charles until he walked away. When he returned a minute later with a bottle of whiskey, Jessica took it and started to drink.
Sip after burning sip was like liquid fire.
Jessica plopped down to a soft couch and felt herself melt into it. Her eyes were heavy, but she wasn’t going to sleep. She would drink and wait for Slader.
After a few more sips, she started to feel the whiskey rolling through her veins. The thing about whiskey was that it matched the mood. It felt good but it brought out the deepest pain and fear in Jessica. She found herself on the verge of tears as the front door to the cabin opened.
Jessica saw Jerry walk in. She hurried to stand, waiting for Slader to be right behind him. She stood for a few seconds before the room spun. Jessica was forced to sit back down. Then she had to endure the sight of the door closing... without Slader there.
“No,” Jessica said.
Jerry walked to her and took the bottle from her hand. “This won’t help.”
“You don’t know anything.”
Jerry sat on the coffee table. “You’re right. I don’t. I don’t know what the fuck Slader is thinking. All he could talk about was you.”
“Is he in trouble?”
“He’s always in trouble,” Jerry said. “I’m not worried.”
“I am.”
“He said you would be.”
“He hurt someone?”
“Someone that maybe deserved it.”
“Maybe? Or did he?”
Jerry paused. “If it were me, I would have handled it differently. But it’s Slader. It’s what he does.”
“Is he in jail?”
“Something like that,” Jerry said. “He’ll be home in the morning. Then it all goes to the lawyers.”
“Lawyers?”
“He’s being sued by the guitarist he knocked around.”
Jessica closed her eyes and shook her head.
“Listen, Jessica, I don’t know who you are or where you came from, but Slader seems to have some kind of connection with you. Like I’ve never seen before. For Christ’s sake, he’s never brought a woman here.”
Jessica opened her eyes. “Never?”
“No,” Jerry said. “This is where he comes to hide from the world. But he brought you.”
“Why?”
“That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” Jerry said. “But I have to respect his orders.”
“What are his orders?”
“For you to stay right here. He wanted to make sure you eat, sleep, and wait.”
Jerry stood from the table and took a few steps. He paused.
“That’s it?” Jessica called to him.
“Well. He doesn’t want me talking to you. He doesn’t want Charles or anyone talking to you. He’s afraid you’re going to leave him again... or he won’t find you again...”
“Again?”
“Have you ever... met Slader before?”
“Not unless you count looking at pictures of him online,” Jessica said.
Jerry nodded. He looked worried.
“Okay,” Jerry said.
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“Just... nothing,” Jerry said. “Just comply with Slader. Especially right now. He’s unstable. Very unstable with all of this. The littlest thing can throw him off...”
“I’m not leaving,” Jessica said. “Not if he ordered me.”
“Well, take that order and go back upstairs.”
Jerry walked away and Jessica grabbed the bottle of whiskey. She stood from the couch and braced herself. She let the room stop spinning so she could start walking. Somehow she made it upstairs and back into the bedroom without tripping or falling. As she
stared at the bed, Jessica grew angry. What was wrong with the world? Didn’t they understand Slader? Didn’t they know... anything?
Jessica dropped the bottle of whiskey to the bed. She made her way to the bathroom and considered taking a long, hot shower. The shower she should have had with Slader. The one they started and never finished. That was maybe all her body needed. The rush of hot water, the peace of the bathroom. Not to mention the view of the mountains. Jessica stood at the window and shook her head. Here she was, seeing something not many saw. It was like looking at the world, or having the world, but to get that, to see that view, she lost Slader.
The view didn’t mean anything without Slader. It felt as though Jessica were better off blind. She walked to the shower and turned the water on. Her eyes widened at the sight of the five shower heads turning on one by one. The shower itself was bigger than her entire bathroom at the apartment. Jessica let the water warm up. She walked to the long counter and stared at all the drawers. She opened one, then another, then another. In Alex Slader’s bathroom nothing was out of the ordinary. That was the intriguing part. Jessica wasn’t sure what she was looking for but she just assumed something would be different about his bathroom. When she got to the last drawer, she was right.
A cell phone.
Why did Slader have a cell phone in the bathroom?
Jessica took the phone and pressed a button, turning it on. She opened the screen and clicked on the messages. She knew none of it was her business but she had to know. She had to know more about Slader. Who he was. Why he felt the way he did about her. There was just too much to think about. To ask. Too much racing through her mind at the same time.
When the messages came up, Jessica gasped. The screen fogged over with steam and she had to rub the phone against her shirt. The steam smeared, but the screen cleared enough for Jessica to see the messages she had sent to Carrie were on this phone.
For a split second the only thing that made sense was that Slader had Carrie hidden somewhere. But then Jessica remembered that there had been replies to her text messages. They said they were from Carrie but they somehow came from the phone in her hand. The phone in Slader’s bathroom. That meant Slader must have configured to the phones to receive the texts and replies.
Jessica began to shake. The steam fogged up the screen again and this time Jessica let it go. The mirrors in front of her were thick with fog. Jessica placed the phone back in the drawer and slowly backed up until she sat on the couch in the bathroom.
Her mind raced.
She really had feelings for Slader. But what had he done? Why had he done it?
Jessica told herself she wouldn’t cry. Not right then, not ever. Not because of Alex Slader. It was all still a dream and always would be. He was a rockstar. A billionaire rockstar which meant he did things differently than the rest of the world.
But Jessica had fallen for him, flaws and all.
She put her head down and started to cry.
I watched her cry but did nothing. I was held back. I was handcuffed by nothing visible. There was no rattling of chains, no metal on wrists, nothing like that. I stood with my hands free, my heart too. I stood and was left to be tortured. To watch her. With nothing to do. But to watch. To watch her cry. To wonder. And left to make a decision... never will I watch her cry again. Never. No matter what.
.12.
The front of the building was swarmed with reporters. And fans. More fans than reporters actually. Fans who stood shoulder to shoulder hoping to get a glimpse of their worshipped rockstar. A few people had signs, declaring the love for Slader and that he would always be innocent. The story had been in the papers and online from the second Slader was cuffed and taken in.
Carrie knew better than to get in the middle of that mess. She wasn’t dumb and she didn’t want to go back to the life John threatened her with. Leaving his apartment and coming back, over and over, playing all his games, having money thrown at her, that did nothing but motivate Carrie. In some weird way she knew John cared about her, but he was a businessman and had an addictive attraction to contracts.
Carrie lingered at the back of the building. She knew that Slader wouldn’t walk out the front doors. No way in hell. He wouldn’t want people taking his picture and calling his name. It wouldn’t work that way at all. The only time Slader wanted that attention was during his shows.
Carrie smiled because she knew she could show Slader everything she knew about him and how much she’d be willing to learn about him. The rest of her life didn’t mean a thing without Slader. Anything he needed and wanted Carrie was prepared to give. All she had to do was bring Slader to John for one meeting and her contract would be fulfilled. Whatever happened between the two men didn’t matter, just as long as Carrie left with Slader and John was out of her life.
That was the plan.
Carrie tried to look as normal as possible. Not a crazy fan. Not a reporter. No camera. No cell phone ready to snap a picture or a video.
All Carrie had to offer was herself and she hoped Slader would see that and accept it.
A string of cheers erupted from the front of the building. Instantly, Carrie thought she had messed up again.
“Ladies, gentlemen, I’m sorry,” a voice called out. “He’s not here. He’s already left...”
Carrie shook her head.
No.
That couldn’t be right. John told her to be there at that time. If he was gone, again, that would be it. John would force her right back to where she had been, begging him for pleasure and money and being treated like she was worthless.
Before the tears could fill her eyes, the back door to the building opened.
And there he was...
Slader came walking out of the building behind another man. A second later a black SUV pulled up. The man ran to the back door and opened it. Slader walked with his stare forward, intent.
This was Carrie’s chance.
She had to say something. She had to do something. The crowd out front was still hearing the obvious fake speech from someone on how Slader had been released earlier and that it had been hours. He even offered to take two reporters inside to prove it. It was all so cleverly planned.
Slader walked by Carrie and was getting closer to the SUV.
“No,” she whispered. “No...”
She had a few seconds to do it. To just open her mouth and say something to Slader. If not, it was all over. She had no idea when a chance would ever come again. Slader had cancelled shows. Now he was tied up on this assault and lawsuit thing. And he still had Jessica somewhere.
“Slader!” Carrie called out.
Slader froze and looked over his shoulder.
“No time,” the other man said.
He reached for Slader and Slader knocked his arm away.
“You,” Slader said. “I know you.”
“Yes,” Carrie. “Yes...”
Carrie smiled. Slader had remembered her.
Slader turned and stepped towards her. Carrie was in shock, but she swore she wouldn’t stop. She wouldn’t lose her words. She wouldn’t face punishment as dictated by the contract.
“I needed to see you again,” Carrie said. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“You’re sneaky,” Slader said. “How did you know?”
“You wouldn’t face them out front,” Carrie said. “That’s not your audience. They’re leeches, aren’t they?”
“Spoken like an angel.”
Carrie began to gush everywhere. Slader touched her face with a finger and her cheeks burned. Everything burned. She envisioned getting into the SUV with Slader and disappearing with him anywhere he wanted to go.
“I’m fine,” Slader said. “Everything will be fine.”
“I don’t doubt it,” Carrie said. “I just... I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“Nobody can,” Slader said.
“You remembered me.”
“I did,” Slader said. “I did. Seeing your face backstage... you weren
’t meant to be there. You have no idea what it’s about.”
“I don’t,” Carrie said. “But I want to. You can show me.”
Slader smiled. “Another hopeful soul ready to lose it all.”
“I’ve already lost it all,” Carrie said. “Which leaves me plenty to get.”
“Well said.”
“Slader...,” the man from the SUV said. “We have to go.”
“Yes, we do,” Slader said.
“Am I...”
“No. I have to be somewhere. It’s always wonderful to meet a dedicated fan.”
Carrie felt her stomach turn. She reached for Slader but he backed up. He stared at her. Their eyes were connected.
“I’m here,” Carrie said. “Always here. I need you.”
“Most people do,” Slader said. “If you mean what you say, then you’ll wait. You’ll always wait.”
“I will.”
“I’ll play again soon. I have to.”
Slader turned and got into the SUV. The man followed next and the SUV sped off.
Carrie blinked and felt the tears in her eyes again.
She did it.
She spoke to him.
She certainly didn’t do anything John wanted, but it was a start. Something to tell John, even if she had to stretch the conversation a little.
Carrie had an hour to think of what to say to John. The hour went by fast and when she met him at his apartment, he looked at her, not happy.
“You’re dressed like that?” he asked.
“There’s no need for anything else,” Carrie said. “I saw him, I talked to him.”
“When am I meeting him?”
“Soon,” Carrie said. She had to hold her lying face straight and steady.
“Soon?” John asked.
“He just got out of jail or whatever it is. He had to leave with his manager to take care of some things and then he’s coming back for shows.”
“He said this?”
“Of course he did,” Carrie said. “I told you... I froze the first time. It was backstage and that room I saw...”
“Okay, okay.”
In Bed with the Rockstar (With the Rockstar #2) (rockstar romance series) Page 7
