by Angel Hunter
Now all she wanted to do was go home, close her eyes and soak in a hot tub. No such luck. Timothy was on the couch, notebook and pen in hand, when she walked in.
“Hey, sweetie,” he greeted as he stood up to kiss her on the cheek. “How was your first session?”
“Tiring. All I feel like doing is relaxing.”
“I thought we’d talk about the wedding. You know, pick a date, make up a guest list.”
“Timothy, that’s the last thing I feel like doing.” Susan couldn’t decide what kind of wedding she wanted, and he kept pressuring her about it. Almost every damn day it was one thing or another.
When she really thought about it, she figured eloping would be the best idea. She just didn’t feel the need to put on a show for others. That’s what big weddings were to her, performances. But when Susan would suggest this, Timothy would give her a look that said, Are you crazy?
Sitting on the couch, Susan looked up at Timothy and said, “Timothy, we need to talk.”
He sat next to her and faced her expectantly.
“We need to come up with a plan that’s feasible for the both of us. We keep going back and forth and nothing is being accomplished. I can’t have this stress over me. You know I’m trying to stop getting high. You’re rushing me to plan an elaborate wedding. It’s too much and frankly, I can’t handle the shit.”
“Whatever you want to do is fine with me,” Timothy told her.
This surprised Susan because the way he’d been talking is like he wanted to go all out. “Let’s show our love to everyone,” he’d told her.
“Why the sudden change of heart?” she asked.
“Because I love you and I don’t want to lose you by pressuring you.”
“What if I wanted to elope?”
“Anything but that.”
“Why not? You said whatever I want is fine.”
“I know, but you also said something that’s feasible for the both of us, and I want to exchange vows in front of family and friends.”
“What friends? What family? We’re both loners.”
“My family from the meetings, your coworkers. Damn, girl, this is supposed to be your big day, our big day, and I feel like you’re trying to minimize it.”
“I’m not minimizing it, I just, I just—”
“How about inviting just fifty people?”
“All right,” she gave in.
“I’ll plan everything. All you have to do is pick out what you’re wearing and a maid of honor.”
Susan knew that would be Crystal.
Timothy took her hand. “So, how many kids are we going to have?”
Susan looked at him like he’d lost his mind. How did he go from the wedding to kids? This was not the time. When she walked in the door, she was tired. Now she was exhausted. She barely had the energy to tell him, “Timothy, you know that I’ve always said I didn’t want any kids, and that’s what I meant.” She saw the sadness in his eyes and added, “But now . . .” She hesitated.
Timothy’s eyes lit up. “But now, what?”
“Well, it’s something I’ve been thinking about on the down low. I may have changed my mind.”
“Really?” He was getting excited.
“I said may have. I need to think about it a little more. Having a child is serious business. It’s life altering. Once you have a child, your life is kind of put on hold, and I don’t know if I’m ready to put my life on hold. I may be one day, but not right now.”
“I’m not asking you to make a decision right now,” Timothy told her. “I’m just glad to hear you’re considering having a little me and you.”
Susan smiled, stood up and asked, “Can I go take my bath now?”
Timothy stood up and pulled her to him, “Of course.”
Heading toward the stairs, Susan looked over her shoulder at Timothy and surprised herself when she asked, “How often do you stay at my house?”
“About four times a week.” “Why don’t you just move in?” “Are you sure?” “I said it, didn’t I?” Timothy nodded. “That you did.”
FOR OLD TIMES’ SAKE
Jewell was dropping Tyson off at his classmate’s house, then she was headed to his new home with his dad. She’d decided to let him move in with his father. They’d agreed to have dinner together to discuss King sending Tyson to a private school. The first few days without Tyson were hard. She’d labeled herself everything from a bad mother to a neglectful one, and finally she sat still and listened. Silence,—it shocked her. There was no Tyson running around saying
“Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. I want, I want, I want. Can you do this? Can you take me here? I need, I need, I need.”
Jewell had to admit that the silence was nice.
The first couple of days she moped around, but after day four, she felt a sense of freedom, something she hadn’t felt in a long time. She even walked around the house butt-ass naked. They pulled up in front of Tyson’s friend’s house and he jumped out of the car. “Bye, Mom!”
Before he could run off, she told him, “Come here.” Jewell watched as Tyson huffed and puffed his way to her.
“Yes?”
“Are you in hurry or something?”
“Yeah, Ma.”
“Who do you think you’re talking to like that?” Jewell asked.
Tyson looked down at the ground and replied, “No one.”
“That’s better. Now give me a kiss.”
He looked around to see if anyone was watching. This tickled Jewell because it seemed like yesterday he couldn’t bear to be away from her. She teased him and grabbed his face and kissed him all over. “Now,” she noticed a half smile from him, “be good!”
When Jewell arrived at King’s, she couldn’t bring herself to get out of the car. The night before, she’d had an erotic dream about him and felt uncomfortable with it.
“Are you coming in or what?” King yelled from the porch.
She stepped out of the car and headed toward the house, looking everywhere but at him.
She noticed King was looking at her in a weird way, “What’s wrong with you?” he asked.
“Nothing. Why you ask me that?”
“Well, you looking around like you’ve never been here before.”
Instead of denying it, Jewell chose to ignore his observation.
“Something smells good. What’s cooking?” Jewell could smell the aroma of dinner before she hit the door. It was even stronger once she walked in the house.
“Follow me,” he told her.
They went into the kitchen, where the table was set with placemats, napkins, candles, real plates, and what looked like the good silverware. In the center of the table was baked salmon, a salad, and sweet potatoes. There was even a bottle of wine.
“All this for me?” Jewell put her hand on her chest and pretended to swoon.
“I hope you’re hungry,” he told her.
“That I am.”
He pulled out her chair. “Have a seat.” Sitting across the table from him reminded Jewell of their better days. They each made their plates and ate mostly in silence. Jewell tired of the silence. Picking up her glass and taking a sip, she said, “King, I appreciate all you’ve done.”
“You appreciate it?”
“Yes.”
“You make it sound like I’m some kind of stranger doing you a favor. I’m Tyson’s father. I do what I do because I’m supposed to and I want to. I told you from day one when you tried to run from me that I would be there.”
“Now, why do you have to go and bring up the past?”
“And I’ve kept my word,” King told her.
“King, the reason I appreciate it is because there are a lot of absent fathers out there, and I just want you to know that what you do does not go unnoticed. And as for the whole private school idea, if you think it’s best, I do too.”
“Are you done?” King asked.
Jewell nodded.
King stood up, walked around the table and put out his hand. �
��Come on.”
She grabbed her purse off the counter, where she placed it when she came in, and King led her into living room.
They sat on the couch. King still had her hand in his, “Listen to me now. I love Tyson just as much as you do.
I’ve done what I’ve done because it’s my job, my responsibility. You’ve taken good care of him. In a way, you’ve put your life on hold—your dreams, your wants, your needs and your desires to raise our son. Let me stress ours. What I’m trying to do is give you an opportunity to do you. Go back to school, or whatever it is you want to do. You don’t have to worry about childcare, you can date—although I would prefer you didn’t—but if you do, try to have it be with a man of color.”
Jewell looked at him.
“Just being real,” he told her.
“Anyway,” Jewell said, “just know that I’m going to be over a whole lot more. You’re going to think I’ve moved in or something.”
“You’re more than welcome to. You know what I asked you before.”
Jewell ignored him.
“Want to look at Tyson’s room?” King asked. “I changed it around and bought him a few things.”
“Of course,” Jewell answered.
Jewell followed King to Tyson’s room. When she looked around, all she could do was shake her head. No wonder he liked coming to his father’s house, she thought as she looked around. He was spoiled rotten—a big TV, his own DVD player and PlayStation II, all the latest technologies for little boys. Jewell found herself feeling slightly jealous because she could never afford all this for her son. She told King, “You know you can’t spoil him like this.”
“I don’t spoil him,” King lied.
Jewell gave him the “yeah, right” look.
King laughed and said, “He’s not spoiled. He’s just loved.”
“Yeah, a lot,” Jewell joked.
Together they laughed then went back into the living room.
“So,” King said.
“So,” Jewell repeated. “What do we do now? We’ve talked, we’ve laughed.”
“How about making love?” King blurted out.
“Why do you have to go there?” Jewell asked.
“I was just playing.”
Jewell didn’t believe him. She knew if she said yes, he’d be all on it.
“How come you won’t give me another chance?” he asked.
“We’re the past. I’m living in the future.”
“Is it because of your white boy?”
“No. That has nothing to do with it.” Jewell knew she should leave, especially with the way the conversation was going.
“Then what is it?”
“I can’t, that’s all.”
“You can’t or you don’t want to?” King wasn’t stupid. He knew she still had feelings for him. He could see it in her eyes. He could feel it.
Jewell thought about the question. She couldn’t answer him. Why? Because the answer wasn’t that she didn’t want to. She did, she just couldn’t. King did have, and always would have, a special place in her heart. She had finally admitted that to herself and to her friend.
“Girl, I still have feelings for that boy,” she told Elsie.
“Well, what are you going to do about it?”
“Not a damn thing. Shit, he’s my past.” Jewell had finally acknowledged her feelings out loud and it messed up her mind because there wasn’t anything she could really do. She had convinced herself that it was a bad idea, and told Elsie this.
“Why do you think that? He’s your son’s father. Families should be together.”
“That’s an old fashioned way of thinking,” Jewell told her, even though she agreed. She didn’t want to have more than one baby daddy, be a statistic, but it looked like that might happen.
“It sounds to me that you’ve made your decision,” Elsie said.
Jewell grew quiet because she really hadn’t decided. Evan was a good man and he could offer her the world. He was kind, gentle, everything she thought she wanted. The sex was good, too, but her heart just wasn’t there, and in relationships that’s what matters the most. She didn’t want to use him or walk all over him and she could see that happening. Evan didn’t “move her.” She had to admit that King still did. She was still attracted to him, and it seemed to be getting stronger by the day. It bugged her out.
Jewell stood up. “I think it’s time for me to leave.”
Before he could reply, her cell phone started to ring. She picked up her purse and pulled it out. “Hello.”
“Tyson is at the hospital,” a kid on the other end said.
“What!” She screamed into the phone. “What do you mean Tyson is at the hospital?”
King snatched the phone from Jewell. “What happened?”
“A car hit him. My aunt took him to Jersey Medical.”
“Call your aunt and tell her we’re on our way.” King hung up the phone and told Jewell what happened.
Immediately, she started crying. “Oh my God. Oh my God.”
He grabbed her hands and told her, “Calm down, sweetie. Get it together. We’ll go to the hospital together. I’ll drive.”
She nodded and followed him to the car.
“It’ll be okay. Trust me,” he told her.
“Okay.” She was in a daze.
They drove to the hospital in silence, both too nervous to say a word, but each of them prayed silently. They pulled up to the emergency entrance. King told Jewell to go inside while he parked the car.
“Please, God, let my baby be okay,” Jewell repeated over and over. As she was headed to client information, she spotted the mother of the boy whose party Tyson had attended. She walked up to her, all set to go off until she saw that the lady looked almost as worried as she did.
“Jewell, I’m so sorry.”
Jewell didn’t want to hear any apologies. All she wanted was to know where Tyson was.
As the women led her to Tyson, Jewell asked, “What happened?”
“They were playing ball and it went into the street. Tyson ran after it and a car came from nowhere and hit him.”
King walked up on that note and said, “Just take us to him and to the doctor. We can get the details later. Right now we just want to see our child.”
When they entered Tyson’s room, he was in the bed, bandaged up but conscious.
“Mom, Dad,” he mumbled.
They both went to his bedside.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“Shhh,” King told him. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”
Jewell kissed him on the forehead, looked at the little boy’s mother and thanked her for getting him to the hospital. What she really wanted to do was ask her, “Weren’t you watching them? How could you let my baby get hit by a car?” But she knew this wasn’t the time or place.
“We love you,” King told Tyson. “I’ll be back. I’m going to go talk to the doctor.”
While King was gone, Tyson closed his eyes. Jewell sat and watched him. When King returned, he told Jewell that the doctors wanted to keep Tyson for a couple of nights.
“For what?” she wanted to know.
“For observation. They believe he has a concussion.”
“Well then, I’m going to stay here with him.”
King pulled up a chair, looked at Tyson and smiled. “He looks just like you.”
“No.” Jewell took his hand. “He looks like us.”
They held hands and watched Tyson sleep.
Before they knew it, the sun was rising and the doctor walked in. “Why don’t you two go home and get some rest? There’s nothing you can do here.”
Jewell didn’t want to leave, but King suggested they at least go shower, get a change of clothes and some things for Tyson.
“Well, can I shower at your house?” she asked.
“Yes, of course you can.”
They walked out of the hospital unconsciously holding hands. Little did Jewell know a friend of Evan’s was outs
ide the hospital and spotted them.
When they arrived at King’s, Jewell told him that maybe a bath would be better. It would relax her.
“The towels and wash cloths are in the closet in the hallway.”
“I’ll also need something to put on,” she told him.
“I’ve got a pair of sweats you can wear.”
“Thanks.” Jewell grabbed her washcloth and towel, went into the bathroom, ran the water and sank into the tub. “Ahhh . . .” She closed her eyes and found her thoughts drifting to Tyson. She started to cry because she realized she could have lost her son.
“King!” she yelled out.
He was outside the door in no time at all. “Yes.”
“Will you come in here with me?”
Silence.
“King?”
“Yes?”
“Did you hear me? I asked you to come in.”
Hesitating, he opened the door and walked in trying to avert his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Everything,” she told him. “I don’t want to be alone. Can you just sit in here with me?”
King looked at her and said, “I don’t know, Jewell.” He eyed her body and said, “It’s going to be hard, but I’ll do it.” He sat on the toilet, crossed his legs and closed his eyes.
“King?” Jewell said. “Can you wash my back?”
“You’re reaching with that one,” he told her with lust in his eyes.
“Please,” she begged.
“I’m giving you fair warning,” he told her.
He reached for the washcloth and soap. She turned her back toward him. The second his hands touched her bare skin, she knew she wanted more. She took his hands and moved them toward her breasts.
“What—” King started to ask.
“This is what you wanted,” she told him as she stood up and climbed out of the tub.
“Do you know what you’re doing?” he asked, knowing he should put a stop to this.
