The Dirty Divorce

by KP, Miss

  I looked around. “But where am I supposed to go? I don’t know where I am? It’s dark out here. No street lights or nothing.”

  “You’re on BWI Parkway. Now, get the fuck out, before I change my mind about killin’ you!”

  When Rich pulled the car over, he reached over me to open the door. He then pushed me out like I was a stranger. After landing on the hard pavement, I quickly sat up and tried to make my way back into the car.

  “Rich, please. Don’t leave me,” I begged.

  However, he never even looked my way as he shut the door and pulled off, leaving me all alone. All I could do was cry.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Rich

  How did my love for Lisa turn to hate that fast? Thinkin’ about what I’d just done, I knew I could never love her again. It was her fault that I’d killed the closest thing I had to a brother. I tried to convince myself that it was an accident, as I drove from Baltimore back to D.C. If only I’d known it was Carlos in the room wit’ Lisa, maybe it could’ve ended differently. Flashbacks appeared in my mind on how we always vowed to each other that we would never let anything or anyone come in between the bond we had. How we would never fuck each other’s girl no matter what the situation was. I thought back to his last words. He loved me. How could he hurt me this way? Money over bitches was our motto. Now, I could never hear his voice again.

  I hit the steerin’ wheel wit’ my fist. “How could Los play me like that?”

  Wit’ my mind heavy, I wished I had someone to talk to, but it was too risky. When I pulled up at the Gaylord Hotel where Jade was stayin’ an hour later, I just sat in the garage for a minute. Feelin’ completely empty inside, I felt as though I had nowhere to turn. I also felt like I was goin’ crazy, especially when my conscience kept fuckin’ wit’ me. After sittin’ in the car for at least another ten minutes, I finally decided to make my way inside the hotel.

  When I entered the room, Jade tried her best to look sexy for me even though I knew she was holdin’ her anger in. She looked good wit’ her ass hangin’ out of the boy shorts and her breasts spillin’ out of her bra, but it didn’t matter how good she looked. I just wanted to be alone.

  “Rich, where the hell have you been? It’s three o’ clock in the morning. I’ve been waiting in this hotel room alone all damn day. I didn’t sign up for this!” she ranted.

  “Jade, I’ve had a fucked up day. Please not tonight.” I sat down on the bed.

  “Have you been with Lisa? Huh, is that where you’ve been?”

  “Stop it, Jade. If you don’t shut the fuck up I’m rollin’ out!”

  “Well, talk to me. What happened? What’s wrong with you?” It looked like she wanted to cry.

  “It’s nothin’. Just let it go!”

  “Well, since you won’t talk to me, then fuck me,” she demanded. “Show me you miss me. I’m sitting here practically naked and you’re barely even looking at me.”

  Jade started to take off the sexy underwear one at a time, but little did she know I just couldn’t make love to her. I had no desire. I couldn’t even get hard. Lookin’ around the room, I realized that she had even ordered room service, but food was definitely out of the question.

  “Jade, I can’t. I’ve been through a lot tonight. I just need some time to think about some shit.”

  “I knew you fucked her. I knew it. You don’t have to leave, because I’m leaving. I’ll get a room somewhere else and go back to New York in the morning!” Jade yelled.

  I couldn’t take anymore of her naggin’. I quickly jumped up and smacked Jade across her face. The blow was so hard, she instantly flew over the bed. “Didn’t I fuckin’ tell you to shut up?”

  When Jade got up off the floor, she looked at me in a state of shock and held her face.

  “You just don’t know when to shut the fuck up,” I continued.

  “I can’t believe you hit me. I’m leaving! You fucking punta!”

  “Well, go. Shit I don’t give a fuck…leave!”

  “I bet your wife knows what’s wrong with your mute-ass. I’m out of here!”

  As Jade started gettin’ dressed, I went to the bathroom to take a shower. I took off my clothes and put them in one of the plastic laundry bags so I could destroy them later on. I didn’t need any evidence to link me to Carlos’ death. There was a lack of peace and calm in my life and at that moment I felt that a shower would help me relax and get my mind right. Adjustin’ the temperature to a comfortable warm settin’, I closed my eyes and allowed the water to run over my face. The way I was feelin’, I just wanted to get a good night’s rest. I didn’t care if Jade left, just so that I could be alone. However, the moment to myself didn’t last long because seconds later, her ass stormed in the bathroom and pulled the shower curtain back.

  “Rich, as long as you live, you better not ever put your hands on me again!” she yelled then smacked me right in my face wit’ the room service metal plate cover. “I’m not Lisa. You will not disrespect me!”

  Prepared to fuck Jade up, I went to grab her, but slipped and hit my head on the edge of the tub. That shit was the last thing I remembered. When I woke up, I was layin’ on the bathroom floor wit’ my head propped up between Jade’s leg wit’ an ice pack. As bad as I wanted to beat her ass, I didn’t have the energy.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “You hit your head on the tub, then took a really bad fall,” Jade informed. “Knocked you out cold.”

  “Damn.”

  “I’m sorry, baby. Please don’t be mad at me. I just had to show you that you can’t be disrespecting me,” Jade replied.

  I had to admit, I’d never had a woman stand up to me like that. “Yeah, and I don’t have the energy to fight wit’ you anymore. I just need to go to sleep.”

  “Rich, talk to me. Tell me what’s bothering you. You can trust me, I promise.”

  I don’t know why and what made me do it, but I told her everything. After the words came out of my mouth and I couldn’t take it back, I knew deep down inside it was a mistake. How could I be so fuckin’ vulnerable?

  “Jade, I lost one of the most important people in my life tonight. Carlos was like my brother, and now he’s gone. I have so many emotions bottled up inside of me, and no one to talk to. You just don’t understand what I’m goin’ through, but I don’t expect you to either.”

  “Rich, I can’t believe what you’re telling me. Why did you have to kill him? Why not kill your whore of a wife instead? She not only betrayed you, she betrayed Marisol. Do you know how much Marisol loves her?”

  Jade’s response was confirmation for me that I’d made a mistake confidin’ in her wit’ somethin’ so detrimental. If she were to tell Marisol, my Uncle Renzo would find out and I would be a dead man. It dawned on me that I had to play nice, or had to kill her, too. I felt so alone and she was all that I really had, so I chose to play nice.

  “Jade, if I’ve ever needed you before, I need you now. Can you promise me that I can trust you? Can you promise that you’ll never betray me?”

  “Rich, I loved Carlos, like a brother. What do you expect from me?”

  “I’ma put it to you like this, I fuck wit’ you, shit I love you, but if you ever breathe a word of this to anyone, I will not only kill you, I will kill your family. That’s a promise.” Jade’s eyes widened before she looked away. “Look at me!” I yelled. “I mean what I’m sayin’. It was a fuckin’ accident. I didn’t know it was Carlos. I didn’t know!”

  “Okay, Rich. I won’t tell anyone. I promise,” Jade responded in a low tone. “Can you try and get up now? Maybe we both could use some sleep.”

  Damn, I hope I can trust this bitch. Maybe the lie about me lovin’ her will help, I thought as I picked myself off the floor.

  ***

  After tossin’ and turnin’ all night and goin’ to sleep after the sun came up, I finally woke up around two o’clock the next day. Before I opened my eyes, I said a prayer, wishin’ that the day before was just a nigh
tmare, but it wasn’t. Long before reality set in, images of my dead cousin flashed through my mind. I’d murdered my own flesh and blood, and knew one day I would have to pay for my actions.

  Lookin’ on the other side of the bed, I realized that I was in bed alone, so I called out for Jade. However, there was no answer. When I reached for my cell phone on the night stand to call her, I stumbled across a note.

  Rich,

  I don’t know how to say this, but I just can’t bear the sight of you anymore. What you’ve done is unforgivable, and I think it’s best that I leave you. Do not call me, or contact me. I don’t ever want to see you again. You’re a fucking monster and that was proven when you told me what you did and when you hit me for the second time. I enjoyed the time we spent together, but it’s over. I have my whole life ahead of me and I don’t think you fit the picture of what I want. Drama, kids with drama, and a wife is a bit much for me. So, this is goodbye and good luck.

  Me

  P.S. Don’t worry, your secret is safe as long as you just let me go in peace.

  Jade’s words stung. I’d never had a woman leave me before ‘til now, and this was the first time that I felt alone in my life. Even when I was in prison, I always had Carlos or Lisa by my side. Nelson was fuckin’ my daughter, my son was in jail, Carlos was dead, and I hated Lisa. My life was a big mess and I didn’t know what to do next. Thinkin’ back to what Jade said, I didn’t want to kill that bitch if she opened her mouth, but I was certainly prepared.

  Grabbin’ my phone to see if I could at least make amends wit’ Denie, I saw I had twelve missed calls, five text messages, and two voicemails. They all were from Denie, Marisol, and the one person I didn’t have the balls to talk to…Uncle Renzo. After readin’ my text messages from Denie and how she was upset wit’ me about Nelson, I listened to my messages.

  Message 1-

  March 8, 4:07 a.m.

  Rich, this is Marisol. I’ve been calling Carlos all night. Mia is in the hospital. We’ve been here since one o’clock this morning. They’re running tests and it doesn’t look good. Her fever has been at 104, and I’m scared. You and Jade both aren’t answering. Call me back, please. This is important.

  Message 2-

  March 9, 8:47 a.m.

  Rich, it’s your Uncle. Give me a call. Carlos isn’t answering and Marisol needs him. Also, let me know if you all are coming back this week as planned. Give me a call as soon as possible.

  Both of Carlos’ daughters, Mia and Carmen, were my Goddaughters, so I needed to find out what was goin’ on. Marisol was usually strong and for her to reach out to Uncle Renzo, I knew that this must’ve been somethin’ serious. After debatin’ for a few minutes, I finally built up the nerve to call Marisol.

  “Hey, Rich,” she answered.

  “Hey, Marisol I got your message. What’s goin’ on?”

  “Rich, Mia has had a fever that’s been ranging anywhere from 102-104 for two days, and I’m scared. She’s never been this sick.”

  “Where are you, you still haven’t heard from Los?”

  “I’m at Mattel Children’s Hospital UCLA. They had us come here this morning. Rich, they’re sending in an Oncologist. They think Mia might have Leukemia. Rich, she’s only four years old. I can’t believe this. Carlos is not answering my calls or calling back. This is not like him.”

  “Damn, Marisol. I haven’t talked to him since earlier yesterday, and you’re right, he would’ve called by now.”

  “Where’s Jade? I left her a message too, but she hasn’t called me back,” Marisol advised.

  “She was upset because I was wit’ Lisa yesterday dealin’ wit’ a situation wit’ Denie. Since it was my birthday and she had our day planned out, she was mad because I got in late. She left this mornin’.”

  “Well, I talked to her yesterday evening and let her know I was going to take Mia to the hospital, so I don’t understand why she isn’t calling me back, at least to check on my daughter. Something just isn’t right.”

  “Well, let me see what I can find out. ‘Til then, keep me posted on Mia.”

  “Okay, hold on Rich. Lorenzo wants to talk to you.”

  My heart instantly sunk. I wasn’t prepared to talk to him.

  “Yeah Rich, did you get my message,” Uncle Renzo asked.

  “Umm…yeah, I just got up, but when I heard Marisol’s message I called her first.”

  “Well, find out where Carlos is and get back to me by the end of the day. His wife needs him.”

  “You guys are worryin’ me. Where do you think Los could be?” I asked playin’ dumb.

  “You would know before me. Are you still coming out here this week?”

  “I’m not sure, yet. I got some stuff to deal wit’ concerning Denie.” I had no plans on bein’ around Uncle Renzo anytime soon. There was no way I could face him right now.

  “Well, handle your family business, so we can get focused on what keeps our families happy. The money.”

  “No doubt.”

  A chill ran through my body. I knew it was a matter of time before Uncle Renzo and Marisol found out that Carlos was dead. Or even worse, that I was the one responsible for his death. Never in my life had I felt like I was on borrowed time ‘til now. I feared my Uncle more than the Feds, but I was determined to be on top at the end of it all.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Lisa

  Three and a half weeks had passed since Carlos was gone and I still had trouble getting out of bed every day. With Denie being back home, now was the time that I wished I could have my house to myself again. Even seeing her everyday, I felt so alone. I would do anything just to see Carlos again. The only thing that seemed to comfort me was the voicemail Carlos left me a while ago. A voicemail that I listened to everyday, and was supposed to erase, but I was glad I hadn’t. Hearing his voice made me smile. It was times like these that I missed talking to my father. I knew he would have all the right things to say, but I just couldn’t find the courage to call. I’d tried on several occasions, but hung up every time the phone started ringing.

  I yearned for Carlos’ touch. Luckily, the day Denie almost caught us, he’d accidentally left his tank top, so his scent put me to sleep every night. It felt like he was there with me. For the past couple of weeks, I wondered everyday if I’d made a mistake by going to see him that night. I wondered if I wasn’t so persistent would he still be alive. My Aunt Lita would always tell me, “Everything happens for a reason. God don’t make no mistakes.” This time I couldn’t agree with Aunt Lita because Carlos dying was a mistake; a huge one. I just wanted to know, why my life had turned upside down once again? Just when I felt like things were getting better, something always came and fucked it up for me.

  As I looked at my phone, I saw that Marisol had called me again, but I still didn’t want to hear her voice. I knew she was just calling me to see if I’d heard any news about Carlos. She’d left me several messages, but I hadn’t bothered to listen to any of them. Even if Carlos wasn’t dead, there was nothing she could say to me. She’d allowed her friend to fuck my husband, and that shit was unforgivable. Feeling depressed again, I got up, went over to my vanity and pulled my plastic baggy of powder out of my drawer.

  Within seconds, I’d sniffed away my problems. One line at a time, I cried as I thought of how I felt when I was with Carlos. Getting high made me feel like nothing in the world mattered but our love. After doing two more lines, my house phone rang. It was Juan.

  You have a collect call from- JUAN. To accept these charges please dial one.

  I accepted the call since I’d been avoiding him as well. As much as I needed him, I just didn’t know what he would think of me if he knew I was sleeping with someone he called his uncle. He had a way of sensing when something was wrong with me and getting it out of me, but I knew I couldn’t avoid him much longer.

  “Hi, son.”

  “Hey Ma. What’s up, you don’t love me anymore?”

  I managed to crack a smile. “You know I love
you. How you been?”

  “How you been? Shit, I haven’t seen you in almost a month.”

  “Well, I’ve been just trying to get my life in order and get this divorce thing final. Rich and I have been officially seperated for seven weeks now. I gotta get my list together outlining everything that I’m gonna ask for. ”

  “Damn, so you really going through with this?”

  “Yes.”

  “So, what’s going on with you, Ma? Denie said you haven’t been yourself.”

  “You’re listening to Denie now.”

  “No, I’m just worried about you. Denie has been mad at Rich and she’s been visiting me more lately, since neither of you have.”

  “I’m sorry, Juan. It’s just a lot going on.” I tried to disguise my pain, but he heard it in my voice.

  “Well, they moved me over to CTF now. It’s right beside the main jail so now I can hug you and all that. Can you come see me today? I have something to talk to you about.”

  “I need a hug from my baby, too. Is it urgent for me to come today? You can’t talk to me right now?”

  “Ma, why are you avoiding me?”

  “I’m not. I’ll be there after I get dressed.”

  “Okay. I love you.”

  “I love you, too, baby.”

  I hung up the phone angry with Denie. What the hell could she have told him? Damn, has she seen me doing a line, I thought. If she wasn’t at school I would’ve been ready to let her have it. We had been pretty much staying out of each other’s way, but I didn’t appreciate her worrying my son about me.

  I got dressed and made my way to the jail to see Juan. There was a photo of me, Rich, Marisol and Carlos that we’d taken years ago on vacation that I kept in my wallet. Since Carlos and I were in the middle of the picture, it worked out perfect to cut Marisol and Rich out. Every time I got in the car, I put the picture by the odometer so I could look at him whenever I wanted. This was the first time that I had been out of the house in weeks besides going to the 7-11 every so often. Since my life was getting more and more complicated, I just had no desire to live anymore. I rode down 16th Street and crossed over to U Street so I could take Florida Avenue. As I crossed over 9th Street, I thought about the last time I made that right turn to go and get Carlos’ dinner. It was crazy how everything I did reminded me of him lately.