Totally His

by Erin Nicholas

  Finn stood staring at her for several long, painful moments.

  Sophie held herself tightly, willing herself not to cry, not to beg him to forget everything she’d just said, willing herself not to grab him and hold on forever.

  She couldn’t believe it. She was losing Finn because of Frank. But she was losing Finn because of Finn too. The world was imperfect. People were imperfect. But until he accepted that, her and Frank’s crazy, stupid, imperfect relationship would hurt Finn. She had said that she would not let Frank hurt the people she loved, and now that meant pushing Finn away so that wouldn’t happen.

  Finally Finn gave her a single nod. “I can’t keep watching you get hurt.”

  She let out a breath. “I know.”

  “And as long as he’s a part of your life, that will keep happening.”

  She nodded. “I know.”

  “You should tell him to fuck off.”

  “I have. Repeatedly.”

  “But when he needs a couch, he knows the theater is here.”

  She swallowed hard and nodded. She wouldn’t give him a couch at Kiera’s because she wanted to protect her friends. She hadn’t exactly offered him the couch at the theater. But once he was there, she’d realized that it might work.

  “Your mom said something the other day,” she told Finn. “She said that she thought maybe Frank hadn’t had enough family stuff either and that he wanted it. I didn’t believe her at the time. He’s had his chance. But…I don’t know…something about how he is with your family. It’s so crazy but, maybe he needed…something else. Friends? Brothers? Mothering? Maybe it was the husband stuff he didn’t want, or just wasn’t good at,” Sophie said. “He was crazy in love with my mom. Maybe he just couldn’t do that again.”

  Finn shook his head. “You’re making excuses for him. Un-fucking-believable.”

  She pulled herself up straight. “I didn’t realize it until he was staying here, but maybe that’s what he needs. A steady place to come to. I love the idea of him in an RV far from here. I’m not going to lie. I don’t want him here every day, all the time. But…” She took a deep breath. “I know he says that he kept moving on to the next woman because of me, but then he got together with Cynthia, his last wife. He didn’t need to be with her because of me. I think maybe he just needs a place to go. Maybe he wants a home too.”

  “He’s doing a really shitty job of showing it,” Finn said shortly.

  Sophie couldn’t disagree with that. “Maybe he’s just realizing it. Or maybe he’ll never settle down for very long at a time. And the RV is good then. But maybe if he has a place to come back to, he’ll stop looking for whatever he’s been looking for with all these women.”

  “Jesus, Sophie.” Finn’s tone was full of frustration and skepticism and yes, even pity.

  She glared up at the big, stubborn cop she was crazy about, but who she knew she couldn’t keep. “You know, I’ve been avoiding getting involved with families for years,” she told him, planting her hands on her hips. “I’ve been staying far away. And then you come stomping into my life and bring this huge family with you and suddenly I’m up to my eyeballs in drama and hurt feelings and meddling. Frank and I are what we are. We’ve been this way for a long time. You can’t fix it, and you need to stop trying.”

  He stared at her for a moment. Then he nodded. “Yeah, well, I guess there is one thing I can fix. Pissing you off right now.” Finn turned on his heel and stomped up the middle aisle.

  He didn’t even look back as he yanked the door open and left.

  * * *

  “Wow, you are a dumbass,” Tripp said as he tipped his bottle of beer up for a long pull.

  Finn glared at him. “I’m right.”

  “You’re not wrong,” Tripp said, “but you’re not seeing the big picture.”

  Finn wondered for the hundredth time why he’d called to ask Tripp to meet him for a beer. He’d wanted to talk about Sophie and the argument they’d had the night before. He’d nursed his wounds and replayed the fight over and over last night, but he hadn’t come up with any solutions. So he’d called his buddy tonight. But he hadn’t really thought everything through. Like that Tripp might not agree with him and might be on Sophie’s side.

  “Here’s the big picture,” Finn said. “Sophie’s dad is a jerk, he took the money that she needed to finish the repairs of the theater, he does absolutely zero for her—and never has—and she still defended him when I was trying to help her.”

  Tripp ran a fry through the glob of ketchup on his plate and popped it into his mouth. He said nothing, though, even after he’d swallowed.

  “What?” Finn asked.

  “Oh, I was hoping when you heard all of that out loud, you’d realize that you were wrong.”

  “I’m wrong?” Finn asked. “Seriously? I’m in love with her. I want her to be happy. Frank does not make her happy. So doesn’t it make sense that I would want to deal with the thing not making her happy?”

  Tripp nodded. “Right. Got that part. But you’re missing a few things.”

  Finn gritted his teeth. “Start talking.”

  Tripp washed his fries down and then set his empty bottle on the table. He leaned onto his forearms and met Finn’s eyes directly.

  “First, you’re only partly pissed off that Frank is upsetting Sophie. You’re also partly pissed off that you can’t fix this, and you know it.”

  “I just want her to be happy.”

  “And she’s not going to be happy all the time, Finn. Shit is going to happen. For Sophie, sometimes it’s going to be because of her dad. But it could also be poor ticket sales, or an argument with one of her friends, or traffic. You can’t make everything go right for her every second of every day. You need to deal with this or things aren’t going to work.”

  Finn blew out a breath. On some level he knew he was overreacting. But fuck. He really didn’t like Frank Birch.

  “He’s always been a shitty father to her,” Finn said.

  Tripp nodded. “That’s another thing you need to come to terms with. That’s all over. You can’t change it no matter how hard you try. And being pissed off about it isn’t helping anything.”

  Finn took a drink of beer. He didn’t want to admit that Tripp was right. But his friend didn’t suck at this. “Go on.”

  “The other thing you’re missing is that Sophie is basically being a Kelly.”

  Finn’s heart thumped. He wanted Sophie to be a Kelly. But he wasn’t sure what Tripp meant. “What are you talking about?”

  “She’s putting up with Frank’s shit because he’s her family. She wishes it was different, she doesn’t like it, but she’s not kicking his ass to the curb. That’s a Kelly thing to do.”

  “We don’t put up with people’s shit,” Finn said, feeling his chest tighten in spite of his protest.

  Tripp laughed. “The hell you don’t. There’s nothing anyone in your family could do that would make the rest of you turn your back.”

  Well, that was true. “But we’re not pushovers,” Finn said with a scowl. “We call people on their crap.”

  “Sophie’s not a pushover either,” Tripp said, with a frown of his own, and Finn got the impression his friend was feeling a little protective of Sophie too. “She calls him on his crap. But the fact that she wants anything to do with her father after everything is proof that she’s got as big a heart as any Kelly.”

  Finn let that roll around in his head.

  “She really is already kind of a Kelly, isn’t she?” Finn finally asked.

  Tripp nodded. “She fits right in.”

  She did. And that thought made Finn’s heart pound. “She and I are probably going to fight about Frank whenever he comes around.” And he would come around. Finn realized that Sophie was right about that. Frank might be too restless to stay, especially when he had Kellys coming out of his ears, but he’d be back.

  “Nothing wrong with that, as long as you learn one of the most important things about being in a lo
ng-term relationship,” Tripp said.

  Finn gave a bark of laughter. Tripp had lots of relationships, but none that could be called long-term. “You know the most important things about being in a long-term relationship?” Finn asked, dubiously.

  “Sure. Why do you think I’m not in one?”

  “Okay, lay it on me,” Finn said.

  “You have to admit that you’re wrong sometimes.”

  Finn blew out a breath. “Yeah, that might take some work.”

  Tripp grinned. “Well, there’s always the bright side to fighting.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Makeup sex.”

  His friend made a very good point.

  * * *

  Sophie wasn’t nervous. Exactly.

  But the butterflies swooped and swirled in her stomach as she approached the front door to the pub.

  No, she wasn’t nervous. She was terrified.

  It was just dinner. With most of Finn’s family. And she did believe she was welcome. But this was the test. The test to see if she and Angie and the rest of the Kellys could still be friends after she and Finn broke up.

  Her stomach tightened at that thought, and it had nothing to do with fear or nerves. It was all about Finn. They’d broken up. It had been just three days ago, but she hadn’t seen him since. She did know that he wouldn’t be here tonight, though. He was working. Which was the only reason she was doing this. She’d resisted calling or texting. She’d resisted trying to see him at his place, or the station, or here at the pub. But she missed him. And that was the biggest reason she was nervous about tonight. Could she be with his family and not die from missing him and wanting him?

  She got to the door and became aware that this was a bad idea. Maya and Kiera had convinced her to come. The dinner invitation had been issued long before she and Finn fought. But she knew that everyone inside the pub knew that they’d argued, that she’d said they shouldn’t see each other anymore, and that he’d walked out of the theater. Everyone in this family always knew everything.

  Maybe she should leave.

  “Here, I’ve got it.”

  Finn’s cousin Dan—or was he an uncle?—was suddenly beside her, grabbing the door handle, and she was stuck. She gave him a smile. “Hi. Thanks.” Sure, she could pretend that she’d been hesitating because she hadn’t been able to grab the door while carrying four pans of dessert.

  And she suddenly realized that she’d gone way overboard. She loved to cook and she was pretty good at it and she didn’t have the chance as often as she had before Maya and Kiera had fallen in love. They now spent a lot of time with Alex and Zach, and while Sophie had a chance to cook for their large group of friends once in a while, it wasn’t a regular thing. So she’d gotten excited about the Kellys. And maybe she’d thought that she could win some forgiveness for upsetting Finn with her caramel apple crumble.

  “What is all this?” he asked as he relieved her of the pumpkin roll and the brownies.

  Brownies. That was stupid. No one made better brownies than the ones Finn’s family had brought to the theater the other night. Why would she bring brownies?

  “Um, just thought I’d bring some dessert.” Sophie felt her cheeks flush.

  “If this is your idea of some, you’re going to fit right in here.” Dan chuckled and escorted her into the pub.

  “I didn’t…I wasn’t sure…Variety is always a good idea, right?” Sophie asked.

  “Absolutely.” Dan headed for the bar, where pans and pots and packages of food covered the surface. “No one here is going to complain about extra dessert.”

  She followed him, hoping to get the pans set down before everyone noticed her overly enthusiastic contribution to the potluck. She’d just set the crumble and the chocolate caramel decadence on the bar when she was surrounded.

  “Sophie, I’m so glad you’re here!”

  “You brought dessert? You didn’t have to do that!”

  “You brought all of this? You’re my favorite.”

  Before she knew it, she was seated at the long table with twenty family members who were all talking at once, laughing, joking, and eating enough to feed a small country. And acting as if there weren’t a thing strange about her being there.

  It only took about ten minutes for Sophie to realize that she’d made a big mistake. Probably the biggest of her life.

  She wanted this. All of it. And she wanted the man who had given it to her.

  No, Finn didn’t totally get where she came from. And she was glad. She loved him, and she was so damned happy that this was what he knew, where he’d grown up. He’d said that he loved her the other day. And it wasn’t that she hadn’t believed it. She felt it too. But this…this truly proved it. The other night when he’d brought her to the bar had actually been the first time he’d told her how he felt about her. It had been subtle. It had been without those exact three words. But it had been love.

  God, she missed him.

  She did want a home. She wanted a place where she could stay and that would always be hers, that no one could take away. It wasn’t the theater, or the house she lived in, or even the city. It was Finn.

  And Frank had almost taken her away from it. Again.

  But this time she was in charge. Frank didn’t have any more power in her life than she gave him. And if she wanted Finn, then she needed to go after him. She started to reach for her purse, rehearsing excuses, and then deciding that with this group, saying “I’m going to find Finn and tell him I’m madly in love with him” was probably the best way to go.

  She had just started to push her chair back when Finn’s uncle Joe came banging through the pub’s front door, cussing loudly.

  Dan shoved his chair back and stood. “What’s going on?”

  “Did Frank show up here for work last night?” Joe asked.

  Sophie felt her stomach tighten sickeningly at her father’s name.

  “No,” Jamie said. “I haven’t heard from him.”

  “Well, he moved out of my place,” Joe declared.

  “Well, that’s okay, right?” Jamie asked.

  “Sure, it’s fine. If he hadn’t taken two thousand dollars with him.”

  His words hit her in the gut and Sophie put a hand to her stomach. She was going to be so pissed if Frank made her throw up the best mashed potatoes in the universe.

  “He stole money from you?” Colin asked.

  “Yes!” Joe exclaimed. “And he had to go looking for it. I had that in a box in my closet.”

  Sophie felt Angie take hold of her hand and she looked at her friend in surprise. “Not your fault,” Angie said softly and firmly.

  Sophie knew that it wasn’t directly her fault that Frank had stolen from Joe. It hadn’t even been her idea that Frank move in with Joe. But it was her fault that Frank had pegged the Kellys as a target. She rubbed her hand over her stomach, willing it to calm.

  “Do you want me to call Finn?” Gary, one of the uncles, asked.

  At the mention of Finn’s name, Sophie’s heart clenched. Of course he was a cop who was on duty at the moment. It made sense they would want to call him about the theft. But it pained her to think that he’d be the one going after her father because he’d stolen from Finn’s family.

  Joe dropped into one of the chairs. “No.”

  “No?” Sophie asked.

  Everyone turned to look at her. But she was frowning at Joe. “You should report this. He’s probably still in town. He wouldn’t just…” She trailed off as she realized what she’d been about to say. He wouldn’t just leave. Frank Birch was nowhere near the father-of-the-year list, but he wouldn’t leave town without telling her. He’d try to get money out of her as well, but he’d also say goodbye. And that meant she knew where he was.

  She swallowed and focused on Joe, feeling ashamed, even though she knew deep down that she shouldn’t. “If you want to call the cops, I know where my dad is.” She pushed her chair back and stood, slipping her hand from Angie’s. She laid her napki
n next to her plate and gave a last longing look at the potatoes. “He’s at the theater, and I’m sure he’s waiting for me. I’m heading over there now, and I’ll try to keep him there until…whoever…shows up.”

  Maybe it wouldn’t be Finn. She could pray it wouldn’t be Finn. She knew that what would hurt the most would be seeing Finn’s disappointment. Not in her. He wouldn’t blame her, even if she blamed herself. But he’d be disappointed in Frank, and worse, disappointed in himself. Disappointed that he hadn’t been able to reform Frank and prove that family love could fix anything.

  And just like that, she was in the midst of a big-time family drama. The unscripted, unpredictable, happily-ever-after-not-guaranteed kind. She knew this was part of being in a family. But she didn’t want to be the cause of it.

  “Sophie, you shouldn’t go alone,” Angie protested, shooting Colin a pleading look.

  “Yeah, I’ll go with you, Soph,” Colin offered.

  Sophie pulled her bag up onto her shoulder and shook her head. “It’s fine. Frank won’t hurt me.”

  “But—” Angie started.

  “I’ll call Finn,” Colin said.

  Yeah, she knew he would. She’d be surprised if someone hadn’t already texted him. “I’m…very sorry about this.”

  They, of course, all protested, but Sophie didn’t say anything more as she headed for the door.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Thirty minutes later she parked behind Frank’s car at the curb a block from the playhouse. All butterflies had died. She wasn’t nervous or excited or worried. She was flat-out pissed off.

  The minute she stepped into the lobby, she headed for the office. Frank would want to tell her goodbye, sure, but he’d also want whatever money he could find.

  She stopped in the doorway and pulled in a deep breath when she found it empty. And the door to the safe hanging open. So he’d already checked there. She whirled and started for the main theater.