Myles (Carter Brother#3)

by Lisa Helen Gray

  “Do you know where they took the boy I came in with, Myles?’’ I ask, wiping tears away.

  “If you go to the waiting area on level three, his family and friends are waiting to be spoken to by the nurse.’’

  I nod my head and waste no time in rushing to the elevator, my legs still shaky from no food or water. It feels like the lift takes forever and by the time it reaches level three I’m a nervous wreck. I run down the corridor and push my way into the waiting room.

  Everyone’s head jumps to the door and I feel bad for rushing in. There in here waiting to see if they’re brother is alive or not, and for a doctor to walk in and tell them.

  Maverick is the first to reach me and when his arms wrap around me I fall into his embrace. I cry quietly into his chest, telling him how sorry I am.

  “You’re not to blame, Kayla,’’ he tells me, his voice rough.

  “If he never had come, if he didn’t know me, this wouldn’t have happened,’’ I yell at him.

  Harlow walks up to me slowly, her demeanour mournful, and I wonder if they’ve already had the news.

  “Is he okay?’’ I ask her, knowing she knows something. It’s the way she’s looking at me, like my world is about to change and she wishes there was an easier way to break the news. I look around the room at everyone else and they have the similar expressions. The atmosphere in the room spirals to the max. The intense, uneasy feeling overcoming me. The only person who hasn’t looked up is Max. He’s sitting down on the hard floor in the corner with his knees up to his chest, his face buried in his knees. It breaks my heart seeing him looking so helpless, so broken. His granddad notices where my attention is and looks with sad eyes to Max, shaking his head like he has no clue what to do.

  “Kayla, we’ve been trying to get a hold of you since yesterday morning. When I couldn’t reach you, and Myles couldn’t, we thought you were already told. So Myles said he’d give you until today. He’s been worried about you. He said he felt uneasy, but he thought it was just because of the news.’’

  “What do you mean? What aren’t you telling me?’’ I ask her, feeling hysterical. I try to push Maverick’s comfort away from me, not wanting it, but he grabs both of my arms behind me, hugging me to his front. “Tell me,’’ I scream, struggling against Maverick. Tears running down both mine and Harlow’s face.

  “It’s Charlie. She was brought in on Monday. Her mom tried to call you, and when you didn’t answer she called me to inform me. When we couldn’t reach you we just presumed she had gotten in touch with you,’’ she cries.

  My knees give out but Maverick’s ready and lifts me up, pulling me against him, supporting my weight.

  “Is she… is she?’’ I sob out, but can’t find the words.

  “No. But it’s not good. She’s on the floor below us if you want to go see her.’’

  “I can’t leave Myles,’’ I whisper, feeling torn.

  “It’s what Myles would want,’’ Maverick tells me.

  “I’ll come down with you. I need to stretch my legs. Will you call me if you hear anything?’’ Denny asks Mason, speaking for the first time since I arrived. Malik is sitting in the chair next to where Max is sitting on the floor, his eyes now downcast.

  “Yeah I will,’’ he agrees.

  Denny walks me out of the room and back down towards the lift, both of us silent until we’re alone in the confined space.

  “You could have told us, Kayla. I know what it’s like to have an abusive mother. Yes, mine was emotionally, but I would have understood,’’ she tells me sounding hurt.

  “I didn’t know this would happen, I would never want to see him hurt,’’ I cry, and she shakes her head, disappointment shining in her eyes.

  “That boy jumped in front of a car today to save your ass. That there proves how special you are, and how much he loves you and no doubt you feel just as strongly and would do the same if the roles were reversed.

  “We all care about you. Each and every one of us would do the same for you, Kayla. You should have felt like you could have come to us. We would never have let her hurt you again,’’ she says, tears running down her face.

  “I’ve been alone for so long. I’m used to keeping everything to myself, keeping it all bottled up. I didn’t know how to project my feelings,’’ I admit. I’ve been so closed off, especially since the rape. After that I closed myself off from trusting anyone.’’

  “Well, from here on out, don’t keep shit to yourself,’’ she warns me, before giving me a hug, both of us crying.

  “I won’t, I promise,’’ I tell her just as the lift door opens.

  *** *** *** ***

  I hardly recognise the girl lying on the hospital bed. She’s so pale, yet yellow looking. I want to run over and hug her, but she looks so freaking fragile.

  “Kayla?’’ Charlie whispers, her eyes wide when she sees my cast. “Oh my Gosh, what happened?’’ she asks and just hearing her voice has me breaking down and rushing over to her. I sit on the bed and laying my head on her stomach.

  “It’s my entire fault. He could die and it’s my entire fault. If only I had told someone about what she was doing sooner than none of this would have happened. I feel like I’m losing everyone,’’ I cry out. I feel her lift her arm before her fingers start running through my hair, her fingers getting tangled in the still knotted strands.

  “Kayla, what happened?’’ I hear her whisper, tears in her throat.

  I look up at wipe my own tears and instantly feel selfish. “I’m so sorry. I’m being selfish. How are you feeling? What have they said?’’

  “What happened, Kayla?’’

  “My Mom, she beat me and held me tied up in my room. I don’t even know how long for. Then Myles was taking me out to the car when my mom ran him over in her car,’’ I ramble, still shaking.

  “Oh, no! Where’s your Dad? Have they got her?’’

  I shake my head, ‘no’, feeling deflated. “I don’t know what to do Charlie.’’

  “You’ll figure it out. You have to remember we made a pact,’’ she tells me and I roll my eyes.

  “Whatever. Now, what did the doctors say?’’

  “Not a lot really. I’ve got a chest infection, and my liver and stuff are on the fritz. I guess if I don’t get a transplant soon…’’ she shrugs trailing off, her eyes back looking down at her blanket. “I’m just so scared, Kayla. What will my mom do when I’m gone? Will she be okay? How will my dad cope? Everyone I’ve ever met, ever known will move on, but then, what will happen to me? Where will I go? Will I be there, will I still be able to think, to remember? It’s all going around in my head, a million questions running through my head and I’ll never know the answers until I die, and then it will be too late to know anything.’’

  “Oh, Charlie. If there is one thing that I believe and that’s that you’ll reincarnate. Your soul will be reborn, and in time we’ll meet again. The only other solution is that you’ll go to heaven, haunt our asses and watch over us for the rest of our lives until we’re able to be with you.

  “I can also tell you that days may turn into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years, but no matter how much time passes, no one who has ever known you will forget you for a second. I promise you.

  “But you need to stay strong. I’m not ready to lose you. I can’t. You’re my bestfriend, and I can’t live without my best friend. You have to be here to make sure I keep leaving the house, keep eating, and keep to our pact, because we both know I’ll throw that crap into the bin,’’ I laugh, tears still running down my face.

  She laughs with me, but her laughs soon turn into sobs and it’s heartbreaking. All her fears, all her questions are natural, and I won’t lie and say I haven’t asked myself the same questions.

  When I attempted suicide after the rape, I asked all those questions and more. Would I go to hell for taking my life? Would I be accepted? Would I reincarnate or would killing myself ruin my chances?

  “I’m going to miss y
ou,’’ she sobs. “Just promise me, that no matter what, if I do die, you’ll live enough for the both of us. Don’t waste life on what ifs,’’ she wheezes out just as the door to her room opens.

  “Hey, how you feeling?’’ Denny asks softly.

  “Better than this one,’’ Charlie chuckles.

  “I know, can’t leave her alone for five minutes,’’ Denny teases back.

  “I’m right here,’’ I snap, sitting up on Charlie’s bed.

  Charlie’s mom walks into the room not long after, smiling when she’s sees I’m finally here, but shocked when she sees the state of me. She doesn’t ask any questions, just gives me a quick hug before telling us she’ll be outside.

  Half an hour passes and although I want to stay with Charlie, I’m anxious as hell to hear what is going on with Myles. Charlie yawns as the doctor walks in reading a chart.

  “Oh my God, is Myles okay?’’ Denny gasps when she sees him and it has me on alert.

  “Oh, Myles Carter?’’ he asks her, confused.

  “Yes.’’

  “I can’t discuss patients with you, I’m sorry. I’m here to see Charlie here. We’re short on doctors so I’m filling in,’’ he explains.

  “Oh,’’ she sighs look disappointed. “Well we should go and see what’s going on.’’

  “I’ll see you later, Charlie. I’ll be back,’’ I promise and reach over to hug her. “I love you.’’

  “I love you too, and remember what I said.’’

  I lean up and look into her eyes, reading the strong plea in them. I nod my head, ‘yes’, giving her another tight hug, feeling torn about leaving. I want to stay here with her, but I also want to see how Myles is doing.

  The atmosphere back in the waiting area is tense. Everyone is still sitting in the same places they were when we left just under an hour ago, their eyes rimmed red from the tears they’ve shed.

  “Any news?’’ Denny asks walking over to Mason, wrapping her arms around him. I stand feeling awkward at the door, hating seeing the misery on all their faces and knowing it’s my fault. I hate this. I hate that this has happened to such good people.

  “No, we’re still waiting. The nurse said they’re short staffed and someone will get back to us as soon as possible,’’ he says sarcastically. “He could be dead and those fuckers have us in here like sitting birds.’’

  “Sitting ducks,’’ Denny corrects, and he shakes his head before dropping it to her chest, where she wraps her arms around him.

  “He’s fine,’’ Max says and from the hoarse sound in his throat I think this may be the first time he’s spoken since he arrived.

  “What?’’ Malik croaks, looking at his brother.

  “He’s not dead,’’ Max replies sounding stronger. “I’d know right? I’d know if the other half of me had copped it. I’d know. I’d fucking know,’’ he shouts, making everyone and me jump.

  “He’ll be fine. He’s strong like the rest of you boys,’’ Joan tells him softly.

  “I know. He’s the strongest,’’ he whispers before dropping his head back into his knees, his shoulders shaking.

  “Sit down,’’ Maverick whispers, making me jump. I’m still standing by the door feeling like I don’t belong. When the others hear his voice they all look up to stare at me making me fidget.

  This is so awkward.

  I nod, and with shaky legs I make my way over to the empty seat between Maverick and Mark. Time passes and the more I hear the clock ticking on the wall, the more I feel like I’m going to lose my mind.

  Tick tock! Tick tock!

  When the door opens to the waiting area, everyone shoots up from their seats, but I know, I know as soon as I see his face and his eyes meet mine.

  “No! No, no , no, no,’’ I scream, just as my feet collapse.

  Chapter Twenty Four

  KAYLA

  This cannot be happening.

  No, no, no, no, no, no, I can’t… I can’t breathe.

  “Kayla, breathe. Breathe,’’ I hear Maverick shout, but it all sounds foggy to my ears. How can he be so calm?

  “She’s dead isn’t she?’’ I ask. The pain in my chest feeling like a thousand knives slicing through me, it’s excruciating. “It hurts. Oh my God, it hurts,’’ I sob, rubbing my chest.

  “Mrs Roberts asked me to come and inform you of her daughters passing. She’s still with her,’’ I hear the doctor reply sadly, before he starts talking to someone else in the room. I don’t even know what about, I can’t seem to hear past the loud ringing in my ears.

  “Kayla, you need to snap out of it.’’

  I’ve never felt anything like this. I’ve been beaten, raped, beaten and tied up by my mom, but I’d rather suffer through that kind of pain than this. At least I can recover from bruises, but this, this is something I’ll never get over.

  “How?’’ I whisper. “I was just with her, it can’t be right. The doctor must have got it wrong,’’ I suddenly blurt out, getting to my feet on shaky legs. I wobble, losing my balance, until someone’s strong arms grab a hold of my waist. “It’s not true. It’s just not.’’

  “I think you need to sit down,’’ Maverick tells me softly, but I shove his hands away from my waist.

  “No. No. I’m going to talk to her. She’ll probably laugh at me for being silly. For getting worked up. I’d know right? I’d know if she died. She’s not gone,’’ I tell him before turning and running out of the room.

  Loud footsteps thud on the floor behind me, but my mind is focused on getting to Charlie. I skip past the lift and move over to the exit, running up the stairwell to her floor. The footsteps behind me draw in closer, and if the person following speaks, I don’t hear it.

  Charlie’s room comes into view and I relax. Her dad is sitting outside her door in a chair with his head down.

  See? Surely if she was gone he wouldn’t be sitting there? Right?

  My heart is pumping in my chest so hard, my breath coming in short, deep, fast pants. Her dad doesn’t even look up when I approach, his head stays bowed and my anxiety spikes.

  I fling the door open startling Hannah, Charlie’s mom, but I don’t give her a second look, my attention solely on Charlie. She’s sleeping. My body relaxes and a few more tears spill from my face. She looks so peaceful.

  “They told me she was dead,’’ I whisper to nobody. My hand reaching out for Charlie’s. She’s here, she’s alive, she’s breathing.

  “Honey, she’s gone, her heart couldn’t take anymore,’’ her mom croaks out and I look up at her, really looking for the first time and notice tears streaming down her face. Her eyes are red, her face worn and tired and she looks to have aged ten years.

  “No, she’s just sleeping. She always looks peaceful sleeping,’’ I tell her, giving her a small smile.

  She gives me a sad smile, her chin quivering and I look away.

  “Sweetie, she’s gone. Please, she’s gone,’’ she chokes out on a sob.

  “No, she’s not!’’ I yell, another sob breaking free. “She’s not. Charlie, wake up, wake up,’’ I plead, tears streaming down my face. She makes no move to open her eyes and I feel myself becoming angry.

  No, no, no, no!

  Please, God, no!

  “Honey,’’ is all Hannah says before covering her mouth with her hand. I notice a few other people have entered the room and I turn to find Denny, Maverick and Charlie’s dad standing staring at me.

  “SHE’S ALIVE, SHE’S NOT GONE,’’ I roar. “She can’t be. Wake up, wake up,’’ I beg sobbing, shaking her shoulders gently. “Please wake up. You have to. We have loads to talk about.’’

  “Maverick, do something,’’ I hear Denny cry.

  “Come on, Kayla. Let’s give her mom and dad time to say goodbye,’’ he whispers, coming up behind me. “Myles is awake, he wants to see you.’’

  “No, not until she wakes up. Not until she tells everyone this is just a big lie,’’ I choke out, looking down at her. Looking closer her skin is
pale, and her lips are turning a bluish colour.

  Maverick pulls my back to his front, wrapping his arms around me, and I lean back and choke on a sob. Mrs. Roberts walks around the bed with a white envelope in her hand and I shake my head over and over.

  This can’t be real.

  I’d rather wake up back at home, tied up to a bed and having my mom kick me for the fun of it, than have this be real.

  “She wrote this to you yesterday when no one could get a hold of you. She knew she was going, Sweetie. She made us promise things she’d never make us promise if she knew she’d survive,’’ she chokes out. Her husband comes and wraps his arms around her and she falls in his arms crying.

  I look down at the letter and pull away from Maverick, sitting down on the chair next to Charlie.

  “Can we have five minutes?’’ I whisper, hoping they give us this time.

  “Of course, we’ll be outside,’’ I hear her dad say.

  A large hand lands on my shoulder, giving it a light squeeze before murmuring that they’ll be outside.

  “I’m sorry,’’ Denny whispers, her voice hoarse from her tears. I nod my head not having anything to say. What can I say? There’s nothing to say. I’ve just lost my best friend, my reason I got out of bed each morning after the rape, she helped me through so much and all I could do was sit back and watch her die. I made out that her dying never bothered me, because, in all honestly, I never thought she would die. She’s strong, she’s a fighter and she didn’t deserve this.

  I sit up from the chair and, wobbly, make my way over to her bed to sit down. She looks peaceful, like she’s sleeping, it doesn’t feel real. The blanket has been tucked under her armpits so that her arms rest by her sides, her hands resting on each other on her stomach.

  The letter in my hand crinkles. When I look down I notice my tears soaking through and I quickly move it away, not wanting to ruin or smudge her words.

  I feel like it takes all my strength when I tear the letter open, pulling out two pieces of paper.

  Kayla,

  What do you say to your best friend knowing you’re not there to console her? Hard, huh? I want to go on and on about how fabulous I am, but we already knew all that, so I’ll get to you.