Finding the Edge

by Debra Webb

  Todd Christian was like an addictive drug. And like the wrong kind of drug, he was bad for her.

  By the time she turned off the water she felt ready to explode with tension. Taking her time, she dried her skin and then her hair. By the time she finished, she had gone from the edge of orgasm to teeth-grinding frustration.

  This arrangement was not going to work. No way, no how.

  Shoulders squared, purple Wednesday scrubs and her most comfortable nursing clogs on, she walked into the kitchen to tell the bane of her existence he had to sleep somewhere else. She could not have him in her apartment like this. There had to be some other arrangement. Might as well get it over with now and salvage what little sanity she had left. The sooner, the better.

  “Good morning.” He smiled and saluted her with his coffee mug. “I scrambled a few eggs and popped in some toast while you were showering. Hope you don’t mind.”

  If the scent of the freshly made toast and the coffee hadn’t distracted her, she might have been able to hang on to her determination. Instead, her need for fuel took over and she decided she would tell him this wasn’t going to work as soon as she ate. Why let the food get cold? The least she could do was be civil. If she let her frustration show she would only look immature. She would die before she allowed him to see how easily he could still get to her.

  “Morning.” She poured a cup of coffee and reached for a slice of toast.

  The sheets they’d tacked up over the living room window last night blocked the morning light she usually enjoyed. The lack of natural light was a stark reminder that her life was a mess. She had killed a man.

  She sagged against the counter. Didn’t matter that she hadn’t meant to kill him; he was dead just the same. Nineteen years old. A damn kid.

  “Don’t go there, Eva.”

  She blinked, his voice pulling her from the troubling thoughts. “I... I was just thinking about work.”

  He shook his head. “You were thinking about what happened in that bathroom on Friday night. The pain was written all over your face.”

  How the hell could he still read her so well all these years later? It wasn’t fair. Just another reason he had to go. Today. She absolutely could not allow him back into her life. She’d thought she could handle this situation, but she couldn’t. It was impossible. Unrealistic.

  “You don’t know me anymore, Todd.” She set her cup aside and grabbed one of the two plates he’d placed on the counter. She raked a few eggs into the plate and snagged a fork. “I’m not the same naive young girl I was ten years ago.”

  He stared at her with that intensity she knew all too well. “No, you definitely are not.”

  She bit back the urge to demand what he meant by his statement.

  He pushed off the counter on the opposite side of the island and reached for the remaining plate. She told herself not to watch every damned move he made but somehow she couldn’t stop herself. It was like driving past an accident—no amount of willpower would prevent her from looking. His fingers wrapped around the fork and he lifted the eggs to his mouth. His lips closed over the silver tines. Her mouth watered and she forced her attention back to her own fork. She poked a bite of eggs and stuffed them into her mouth. Butter, eggs, cheese and pepper combined into an incredible burst of flavor on her tongue. Simple but so tasty. Most mornings she grabbed a cup of yogurt or a breakfast bar and devoured it on the way to work. A groan of utter satisfaction slipped past her lips.

  “Thank you.” He grinned. “You still love cheesy scrambled eggs.”

  The bite of toast she’d taken was suddenly like cardboard on her tongue. How could she have forgotten how he made eggs with cheese and toast for her every time she stayed over at his place? More important, how could he remember something as mundane as eggs and cheese?

  She finished off her coffee and glanced at her watch. “I should go.”

  Before he could say something else she didn’t want to hear, she disappeared into the bathroom, which also prevented her from having to look at him. She brushed her teeth and put her hair up in a clip, then stared at her reflection. It didn’t take a shrink to narrow down the issue in front of her right now. Todd was the only man she’d ever loved—her first love. He’d taught her how to appreciate her body and to appreciate sex. How to fall completely in love with him. He’d allowed her to believe that what they had was never going to end.

  Only it had.

  She might have been able to forgive him, to put it behind her and never look back, except that she hadn’t been able to fall in love again. No one had been able to lure her down that path or even near it. No matter that an entire decade had passed, she could not feel for anyone else what she had felt for Todd Christian.

  Staring at her reflection, Eva realized the one thing that really mattered in all this: staying alive. All this lamenting over how he left her and ruined her for any other man was ridiculous. A man was dead. She had killed him. And now his older brother wanted vengeance. Whining and complaining about the apparent best man to protect her until the situation was sorted out was ridiculous. Worse, it was childish and petulant. She was a grown damn woman. A nurse, for God’s sake.

  It was time she starting acting like a mature woman rather than a heartbroken college girl. And she would be damned if she would let him see just how much power he still held over her.

  Summoning the courage that allowed her to work in one of the region’s most demanding ERs, she walked out of the bathroom and grabbed her bag. “I’ll see you at the hospital.”

  He dried his hands on the rooster-embellished hand towel she’d thought matched so well with the simple decorating scheme in her kitchen—the kitchen he had cleaned up after preparing breakfast. She ignored the gesture. What else was he going to do while he waited for her? The whole breakfast and cleanup thing was probably just his way of killing time.

  “We should ride together, Eva. It’s far more—”

  “Then I guess you’ll be riding with me.” She headed for the door. He was not going to be in charge of every aspect of her existence until this was over. It was bad enough he’d invaded her home and her dreams. She wasn’t giving him any more power.

  She walked out the door and waited until he’d done the same. Once the door was locked she turned to head for the stairwell but hesitated. Still nothing on Mrs. Cackowski’s door. She’d forgotten to call and ask the property manager if he’d spoken to her. You’re a bad neighbor, Eva.

  “Give me a minute,” she muttered to her shadow. Without further explanation she banged on her neighbor’s door loud enough to wake the dead. No answer. No TV sounds. Eva knocked again. An entire minute passed with no answer.

  “I can open the door if you’d like.”

  She glared at him. “You’re offering to break into my neighbor’s apartment?”

  He shrugged those broad, broad shoulders and smiled. “If you bang any harder you’re going to break the door down anyway. Trust me, my way is a lot less messy.”

  “I can call the property manager.” She frowned. “I should have done that already.”

  “Why waste the time? I’ll only be a couple of seconds.”

  For three seconds she thought about telling him to screw off, but then she thought of the men who had followed her and made all those threats—the men who had killed no telling how many people already. What if Mrs. Cackowski was in there bleeding to death? “Okay. Fine. Open the door.”

  He stepped toward the door in question, forcing her to back away. Another thought occurred to her. “This can’t be legal.”

  That grin appeared on his lips once more. “Not in any way, shape or form.”

  Good grief. She knew this. No more pretending. Her cognitive abilities were officially compromised. “Then why are you doing it?”

  “Because you asked me to.”

  “Just stop!” She could not think straight with
him around. Damn it! She should just go to work and hope she didn’t kill any patients.

  “Too late.” He gave the door a push and it swung inward.

  For a moment Eva couldn’t move. She felt frozen to the spot. This felt wrong. No, that wasn’t true. Mrs. Cackowski’s absence without putting out the damned magnetic sign was wrong.

  “Would you like me to go in and check on her?”

  His voice snapped Eva into action. “No. I’ll do it.” She glanced first right then left. Thank God none of her other neighbors were in the hall to see what they were doing.

  Eva took a breath and crossed the threshold. Why not add the entering to the breaking? “Mrs. Cackowski, are you home?”

  The living room was tidy as always. Mrs. Cackowski had told her how when she moved in years ago she had brought with her the salmon-colored sofa her husband had purchased for their tenth anniversary some forty years back. Three hand crocheted dollies lined the camelbacked sofa. The upholstered chair that swiveled and rocked in which her neighbor spent her days, the coffee table where she served tea every time Eva visited, all looked exactly as it should.

  Except there was no Mrs. Cackowski. No sign of a struggle or any other untoward activity. She called her neighbor’s name again. Still no answer.

  Todd abruptly moved past her and checked the kitchen. Irritation nudged Eva. “Excuse me. This is my neighbor’s home. What happened to me having a look around while you wait at the door?”

  He shot her a wink. “I’ve never been a patient man.”

  Well, now, that was the truth...except when it came to making love. His ability to hold out, to restrain his own needs for hers, had seemed boundless.

  No more thinking about sex, Eva. She followed him to the bedroom. No Mrs. Cackowski. Bed was made. He reached for the closet door. “What are you doing?”

  He shrugged. “We’ve come this far.”

  She stormed up to the door. “I’m certain Mrs. Cackowski would be more comfortable with me checking her closet.”

  He held up his hands and backed away. “Whatever you say. This time,” he warned.

  She glared at him, then opened the door. The closet was as neat and undisturbed as the rest of the apartment. Her suitcase sat on the floor of the closet next to a neatly arranged row of practical shoes. Had she bought a new suitcase? Eva shook her head. Maybe the trip had been cancelled. Maybe her neighbor was merely at an appointment. Paranoia was obviously taking full control.

  Eva slammed the door. “Let’s just go before we get caught.”

  She walked back to the living room. Todd hurried around her and out the front door before she realized he was right behind her. She glanced back at her neighbor’s favorite chair once more. Maybe the elderly woman’s age was finally catching up to her and she’d simply forgotten to tell Eva her plans had changed. She turned the thumb lock on the knob. She couldn’t lock the deadbolt without the key but at least she could secure the door.

  Eva had the number for Mrs. Cackowski’s daughter—maybe she’d give her a call today just to be sure. This Robles business was making her second-guess everything.

  Once the door was locked again, they left. Todd entered the stairwell ahead of her, then gave her the all clear. Eva reminded herself that he was doing his job. The situation was serious so she should let him. Tamping down her frustration for now, she followed her bodyguard down the stairs and through the lobby.

  As they exited the building the burst of fresh air helped her mood a little. The sweet smell of the azaleas lining the sidewalk lifted her spirits. She could make this a better day. All she had to do was keep the proper mindset. Focus on her work. Maybe tonight she’d go to the gym and run a few miles on the treadmill. Running always did amazing things for her outlook. She and her sister participated in a couple of 5k runs every year in memory of their mother and in support of breast cancer research.

  Todd suddenly stopped. His arm went out, blocking Eva’s path. “Stay behind me and call 911.”

  When she would have asked why, her gaze settled on her car. The windshield and the two windows she could see had been bashed in. Red spray paint or something on that order had been used to write a warning across the hood.

  Death is coming.

  Her heart started to pound.

  Todd pulled her behind the nearest parked vehicle. “Stay down and make the call.”

  Her hand shook as she dragged her cell from her bag. Her fingers turned to ice as she stabbed the necessary digits and put through the call. She watched Todd move around the parking garage as she answered the dispatcher’s questions. He carried a gun now. She hadn’t even realized he was armed. She provided her location and explained the situation. No, as far as she could see the perpetrators were no longer on the scene. Yes, the police needed to come. No, there was no need for an ambulance. The dispatcher assured her the police were en route. Eva ended the call and absently shoved the phone back into her bag. She stretched her neck in an effort to get a look around.

  There was no one else in the garage except the two of them. At least if there was, he or they were hiding. She doubted the bastards would hide. They liked to show off...to inspire fear. Scumbags.

  Todd returned to her car. This time he looked inside, though he made no move to open the doors. Preserving the scene, she realized. If he touched any part of the car, he might disturb fingerprints left behind by the bad guys. Even as she considered his reasoning, he walked to the rear of her vehicle. He leaned down to inspect something in the area of the trunk and the lid suddenly sprang open. Todd disappeared behind it.

  Eva’s tension moved to a new level, sending her heart into her throat. She looked around. Still didn’t see anyone. Before she could talk herself out of the move, she stood and started walking toward her car. She opened her mouth to call his name but her voice deserted her.

  No shots rang out. No sound of scuffling or fighting. Yet, she instinctively understood that something was very, very wrong.

  As she reached the hood, Todd stepped from behind the open trunk lid. “Let’s go back inside until the police get here.”

  He was moving toward her as the words penetrated the uncertainty that had paralyzed her ability to reason. When his hand landed on her arm, she trembled. Why was he trying to urge her back inside now? Why was the trunk still open?

  Sirens blared in the distance. The police were almost here. They should stay put. Explain what happened.

  “Eva,” he said, his voice frighteningly soft, “I want to take you back inside.”

  She stared up at him. The blue eyes she knew as well as she knew her own showed no emotion...no indication of what the trouble was. And then she understood. He was hiding something terrible from her.

  Her throat went as dry as bone. “What’s in the trunk?”

  Two police cruisers barreled into the parking garage and skidded to a stop.

  Todd gripped her elbow and urged her in the direction of the nearest cruiser “I’ll explain everything in a minute. Let’s just make sure you stay safe until—”

  Eva broke free of his grip and ran to her car. Her heart thudded so hard in her chest she couldn’t catch a breath.

  “Eva, wait!”

  She’d spoken to Lena yesterday. She was safe in DC. Eva rounded the back of the vehicle. Fear constricted her chest. She stared into the open trunk. At first what she saw didn’t register. Pink dress...ghostly pale legs. Plastic that looked shrink-wrapped around the pasty skin of the woman’s face. Gray hair. White cheeks...purple lips encircled a mouth that was open wide as if gasping for air. Dull, unseeing eyes.

  Mrs. Cackowski.

  Chapter Five

  Chicago Police Department, 10:30 a.m.

  Lorena Cackowski’s daughter had been notified of her mother’s death. She was on her way to Chicago from New York now. The preliminary conclusion from the medical examiner was asphyxiation.
The murder weapon appeared to be the plastic. Manner of death: homicide.

  Todd paced the corridor outside the interview room. The two detectives had insisted on interviewing Eva and him separately. He hadn’t been happy about the idea, but she had assured him that she was okay with it so he’d backed off.

  How the hell could Robles order the murder of a helpless, elderly woman like that?

  Sick bastards.

  The way Eva had trembled, the tears pouring down her cheeks, had torn him apart. He would make Robles pay for hurting her. As much as the desire to go after that revenge burned inside him, his top priority had to be keeping Eva safe.

  The door opened and Detective Marsh stepped into the corridor. “Almost done.” He shook his head. “This thing is getting damned hairy.”

  “Who’s the new guy?” Todd gestured to the interview room the man had exited. Marsh was the one to take Todd’s statement but another detective had shown up for Eva’s official interview. “He wasn’t your partner the last time we had the pleasure of your company.”

  Marsh hitched his head toward the closed door. “Carter is from Gang Intelligence. He’s been working this one behind the scenes since the war on Friday night. Until this morning he was more focused on what happened before Diego and his friends hit the ER. Everything’s changed now.”

  Murder had a way of changing things for sure.