Mia Castile - [The Butterfly Chronicles 02]

by Butterfly Kisses (epub)

  “Hey!” I call after him.

  “Stay there; I’ll be right back,” he laughs, and his voice bounces off the walls. I sit at his desk, quietly spinning in my chair until he returns. He holds his hands behind his back, and I can already feel the blush chasing my cheeks. I’m so glad we didn’t do this in front of my entire family. It would have been awful. He sits a small, beautifully wrapped box on the desk beside me. I reach for it, but he catches my hand and rolls me closer to him. He rolls us together the few inches closer to his desktop and goes to his music program; then he hits the play button. I hear the ukulele in a catchy, fast-paced Hawaiian-sounding tune. I wonder if he’s written a song using it, only to have my question answered seconds later as his velvety voice floats from the speakers.

  From the very first day

  You blew me away

  With all your hidden meanings.

  It took way too long

  Just to be strong

  And discover my true feelings.

  Oh four oh five

  It changed my life.

  The first thing you said

  Still clouds my head.

  With my first touch

  I felt too much,

  Said something dumb

  I barely survived,

  Oh four oh five.

  You almost lost your clothes,

  You almost broke your nose.

  I still thought you couldn’t be hotter

  With your mismatched threads,

  And those awesome legs.

  I’m the desert; you’re my water.

  Oh four oh five

  It changed my life.

  The first thing you said

  Still clouds my head.

  With my first touch

  I felt too much,

  Said something dumb

  I barely survived.

  Oh four oh five.

  My face is officially a new shade of red called I-want-to-crawl-under-a-rock-and-die red. I mean don’t get me wrong. It’s catchy, campy, and totally adorable, but he mentioned my legs and that he thinks I’m hot. I’m so not hot, and add to that, Chase has this adorable smile across his face, but I look away because can’t look at him.

  “I think we’ll call the next album 0405.” I cringe and cover my face. Then it dawns on me.

  “Your password?”

  “The first thing you said to me, ever, was ‘thanks for being so careful with me.’ And I told you to lean away from me. I panicked.” He rubs the back of his neck and looks equally embarrassed. “This song is just for you and me. I was playing with the ukulele the other night. . . I’m not going to ask the guys to put it on the album; it’s just ours.” I can’t stop myself; I lean in and kiss his lips in a peck.

  “No, the first thing you said to me was ‘do you want me to try?’ about my locker because I couldn’t make the combination work.” He furrows his brow thinking about that day. “Can I open this now?” I ask as I pick up the box. He nods, and I unwrap it. It’s a jewelry box, and when I open it, I find a beautiful, white gold chain necklace with a heart locket. I open it up and find our initials inscribed on it.

  “It’s beautiful,” I whisper. He takes it from my hands and unclasps it. I turn and pull my hair up as he puts it around my neck. “Chase, I love it.”

  “I do too, all of it, all of this,” he whispers.

  The five days that I’m without Chase are miserable. I mope at home and try to stay distracted at work. We text nonstop, video chat online, and talk into the wee hours of the night. Finally, he returns and just in time for New Year’s. We have the whole evening planned. My parents are going to their annual party, and Lana has plans with Britt and Tomas, so we get the house to ourselves. We’re planning on watching the Rockin’ New Year special with popcorn and a blanket. I also think I’m ready to take our physical relationship to the next level, not sex, not yet. He hasn’t pressured me, but I think he wants to go further also. I dress comfortably but cute in layered T-shirts and some bootcut jeans with fuzzy socks. My parents know we’re hanging out, but obviously not that we’re dating. They would not let us hang out alone. We’re getting serious though, and I think I’m going to have to tell them soon. But soon isn’t tonight. After they leave for the evening, I go to the kitchen and begin popping the popcorn. I turn on the TV and return to the popcorn as it finishes in the microwave. I put it into a large bowl, when I hear the front door.

  “We should just go ahead and give you a key; otherwise, criminals may discover our spare key hiding place,” I tease as he enters with two large fountain drinks from the gas station.

  “Sounds good to me.” He hands me my Coke and digs his hand into the popcorn. We settle into the couch and watch the program. Once we’ve had our fill of popcorn, we get distracted easily, stretching out beside each other and making out under the blanket. What begins as soft gentle kisses escalates quickly to passion and ferociousness that I’m not sure we have experienced before. With my back to the TV, I take a deep breath as I delicately slide my hand up his shirt and touch his stomach. He clenches it as he takes a deep breath. I creep my hand up further, and he releases that breath attack my mouth. I straddle him and continue kissing him. Then with shaking hands, I pull away from him and remove both of my T-shirts at once, exposing my dark purple bra and bare skin. His eyes widen momentarily as he takes me in. He saw me in a bikini all summer, but he looks at me like it’s the first time he’s ever seen me. He leans up and pulls off his T-shirt from his back neckline in one smooth motion. My heart is thundering in my chest as I lower myself and press against him, feeling his skin against mine like this for the first time. His mouth finds mine again as his hands roam all over me, touching my back, my arms, and finally, almost reverently, my breasts. We don’t know what time it is, if the ball has dropped yet, if we are crossing this line as the year ends or begins. We don’t care. All that matters is us, and this intimacy that we are sharing exploring each other. Chase unsnaps my jeans, and my heart races in anticipation of his touch. I have no idea what to expect, but if it’s anything like I’ve already experienced with him, it’s going to be amazing. His hand traces the top edge of my panties.

  “Oh My God!” I don’t say it; Chase doesn’t say it; my mom says it. The light switch snaps as she illuminates the great room, and it feels like spotlights on us while we scramble to cover up. My heart slams into my chest as my skin instantly feels clammy. I can’t breathe and I feel lightheaded and I’m mortified. Chase’s entire torso is red as he put his shirt on. I do the same, clumsily, because mine is turned inside out. I can’t even look at my parents as my dad asks sternly, “What’s going on here?” Neither of us answers right away. “How long has this been going on?”

  “We’ve been together since Thanksgiving,” I say softly in a shaky voice. Chase doesn’t look at me, and I don’t look at him.

  “I’m disappointed in both of you,” Mom says, putting her hand against her forehead. “Eric, will you walk Chase outside please?” Chase begins to follow before he pauses and looks my mom in the eye.

  “I love your daughter.” Her eyes narrow at him, but she doesn’t respond. He trudges to the hall, and I hear him grab his coat and put his shoes on by the door. He and Dad talk, and it sounds calm, but the temperature is a lot colder in here; in fact, it’s freezing.

  “Button up your pants,” Mom says sternly. I look down, embarrassed, and do as I’m told. I look at the floor as my dad re-enters the kitchen. It’s silent for a long moment. “You’re grounded for a month. No TV, no computer, no phone, no car except for work and school,” Mom says, holding out her hand to me. I pull my phone from my back pocket and turn it off before I put it in her hand. That is my life I’m handing over to her.

  “I need to call Mike Livingston,” Dad says as he scrolls through his own phone and leaves the room. I look at the clock; it’s only eleven-thirty.
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  “Why are you home so early?” I ask. Mom shoots me a death look. I want to shrink and disappear.

  “You and Chase are not to be alone in this house. You knew the rule; you sat and watched as Lana and Tomas were chaperoned for months.” I cross my arms to hide the shiver that rocks my body as I hear my dad in the hall say, “Hands down her pants.”

  “Are you having sex?” My eyes widen as I look at the floor.

  “No.” I say, face hot, hands clammy, knees shaking.

  “No more sleepovers with Tasha and Jade. How do I know that is where you really are? And Monday we’re going to the doctor.” I look up at her confused. “I’m not going to be a grandmother for at least ten more years,” she says pointedly as Dad re-enters the kitchen.

  “He knew,” he says in disbelief.

  “That they were fooling around?” Mom asks incredulously.

  “No, that they were dating. You trusted him and not us?” He asks. “All this time you’ve been lying to us? Keeping secrets. Honesty is the only way you keep our trust.” He shakes his head. Mom’s eyes narrow, but she continues just to glare at me.

  “Can I still see him?” I ask, feeling like the walls are closing in on me.

  “He can visit you here. He’s not allowed to go upstairs, of course, but only after your grounding is over. When you go out, we want to know who’s going to be there, and what you will be doing. We’ve given you way too much slack, trust, and freedom. Your curfew is now ten-thirty.”

  “That’s not fair,” I demand. Lana’s curfew is ten-thirty.

  “It’s more than fair. You can still see him. We could cut you off completely. But we like Chase; he’s a good kid,” Mom says. “Go to bed.”

  “It’s not even midnight yet, and it’s New Year’s.” My hands are in fists as I stare at her.

  “Be glad we’re not sending you off to boarding school. . . tonight,” she states as Dad leans against the counter. They are a unified force. England to Colonial America, Germany to my Poland, Iraq to my Kuwait, my tyrants.

  I turn and stomp down the hall, up the stairs, and slam my door as hard as I can. January will be the longest month of my life.

  Lana

  When I come home New Year’s Day, the house is quiet. Dad’s M.I.A, and Mom’s locked in her bedroom. I find Lacey piled up in her bed, awake but staring at the wall in her dark room. She fills me in on her condemnation with red puffy eyes. I feel really bad for Chase and Lacey. It must have been horrible being caught making out like that. I didn’t get all the intimate details but enough to know they are serious about each other, though I knew that before they did.

  “Can you text him and tell him what’s going on? I haven’t been able to talk to him. I don’t even know if he got into trouble too,” she whispers as she snuggles back down into her blankets and watches the door. I do.

  Lacey’s grounded for a month from everything, including you, or especially you. Maybe I shouldn’t tease him. I read her his response as it comes in.

  Dad was pretty upset, especially after your dad called. I got a long, painful lecture about safe sex and a box of condoms. Tell her I’m sorry.

  “Why is he sorry? He didn’t do anything wrong. I should have told Mom and Dad a long time ago.” She presses her hand against her forehead. “Tell him I don’t blame him. I love him and will see him Wednesday at school.” She closes her eyes as I type away.

  I love her too. I spend the rest of the day trying to cheer her up, but it’s not effective since our usual vices of junk TV and food are off limits.

  I welcome the return of school; the tension at home is too much. Between Mom and Dad; Mom, Dad, and Lacey; and Dad and me, I could go on and on. Lacey drives us to school in a solemn mood, but as soon as we enter the doors, she spots Chase waiting for her. He races her, and they embrace tightly. I just wave as I leave them standing in the middle of the hall blocking traffic. My hair is wavy today, and I’m wearing a thin, fitted, plaid flannel shirt with navy blue and Christmas colors in it, tucked into distressed skinny jeans under my pea coat, and the new combat boots I got for Christmas. Halfway down the hall, Tomas finds me, and his fingers lace perfectly with mine. He’s still wearing the hat I knitted him, and he glows. I think I may glow too. We smile at each other and both walk with our heads high. People pause and look at us as we go by, but we don’t care. I finally feel normal, the normal I have always wanted to feel. Even popular, I was always watching my back or wanting more. Holding his hand like this, I’m content. We hit up both of our lockers, only separating when necessary for picking up books or taking off our coats. We walk to class together. I don’t want to leave his side, but too soon we part with a small peck as the school day begins.

  At lunch, my friends and I are in our own world: a new year, a new semester, and a new clique. Danni and Macy surprise us by joining our table. At first Britt is annoyed that more underclassmen are hanging out with her, but after I give her a look that says “give it a try,” she does and smiles and laughs with the rest of us. I can tell instantly that Tomas approves of the girls. For the second time today, I’m washed over with joy and happiness in my life outside of the house.

  “Can you go with me to the mall? I got a gift card for Christmas,” Britt asks me as she flashes her hundred-dollars pre-paid Visa card.

  “Who got you that?” I wonder if her mom had a good day on Christmas day.

  “My grandparents in Florida sent it to me. They do that every few years,” she smiles.

  “I can’t go today. I’ve got group, and the holidays really have messed up our schedule,” I say.

  “I’ll go,” Macy chimes in.

  “Me too,” Danni agrees.

  “You girls have fun,” I say, and I can’t help but notice the smile spread across Britt’s face.

  I wait on the stoop after school for my mom. It’s beginning to snow, and I scrunch up into a ball to keep warm. She’s late, and I’m dreading another accelerated trip to the north side with my dad. I scratch at the polish on my nails as she pulls up in her SUV. I grab my bag and run to her car, trying to avoid the flakes as if they’re bombs, like it’s even possible. I jump in, and she pulls away.

  “Sorry, I had a late meeting.” This is new since my mom takes clients, not meetings.

  “It’s OK,” I say. I want to ask her how she’s doing, how she’s dealing, and how she thinks we’ll recover, but I don’t. Instead, I watch the snow dance along the interstate as cars zoom past it, leaving it flailing in their wake. I know how you feel. We arrive and follow our routine. Mom sits, takes out her e-reader, and I go through the double doors. Everyone is there except for Will. I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s running late. I wiggle into the seat beside Patrick and smile at everyone.

  “Happy New Year, Lana,” Dr. Mase says.

  “Hi, guys,” I say with a small wave.

  “I like your shoes,” Bendi says. She’s wearing a loosely knit sweater that hangs off her bare shoulder, but she has a thin-striped, henna tattoo where a strap from a bra or tank top would be. Very cool.

  “I like your whole outfit,” I return. Will sneaks in and slides into the seat beside me. I can’t help but notice his knuckles are purple and cut. I watch him for a moment, but he looks at me wearily.

  “Who wants to start today?” Dr. Mase asks, as he crosses his ankle over his knee. Anna sits with her hand in her lap, ankles crossed. Patrick raises his hand.

  “I sent in my submission to Butler over the holidays.”

  “Why didn’t you tell us sooner?”

  “I may have to wait a year to get in since I sent it so late. But Mrs. Armstrong, my art teacher, seems to think I sent my best pieces. She’s hopeful for me, anyway. And for the first time I am too.”

  “Are you applying to other schools?” Dr. Mase asks.

  “Yes, Herron School of Art and the Art Institute of Chicago.”

>   “Good, good.” Dr. Mase makes notes. “Will, what’s new with you this week?”

  “Not a lot.” Will says, his face turning red. I can’t help but look at his hands again. He looks over at me for a long moment and then continues, “My brother and I got into a fight yesterday. I think I’ve told everyone about him. He’s been in and out of juvie; he just got out before Christmas. And my parents can’t just dump him on the streets. He didn’t realize that I’ve changed too since he went away. I dealt with his abuse silently, but this time when he came after me, I fought back.” He looks at me again and holds up his hand to the rest of group. “You should see the other guy,” he smirks as he directs that statement at me.

  “Violence is never the answer,” Dr. Mase begins.

  “It is when it’s eat or be eaten,” Will defends passionately.

  “I’ll talk to your parents, Will. Just calm down; did you talk to them about it? Did you come up with a plan of action before or after he came home?” Will looks down at his hands again.

  “We must have forgotten,” he mumbles.

  “I think we need to have another family session and explain the rules again to Walt.” Dr. Mase scribbles a long note. Anna’s eyes widen as she looks away quickly. I look down, wondering what she saw. My phone goes off in my purse with a text message alert, and I scramble to silence it. I never worried about it before, but now that my friend pool is expanding, I’m going to have to start turning it off. I glance at it and see it’s from Macy. I glance at Dr. Mase apologetically as I turn it off.

  “Lana, how are things with you?” he asks as he raises his glasses and pinches between his nose, a little annoyance still showing in his voice.

  “Things are pretty good on most fronts,” I say, dropping my phone back into my purse.

  “The other fronts?” he asks.

  “Family stuff, we’ve hashed it out, I can only take one day at a time right?” I sigh leaning back.

  “Definitely a good start.” He smiles at me.