Losing an Edge

by Catherine Gayle

  Once I parked, I took a moment to open the envelope. No note this time. It was just pictures.

  Of me.

  And Levi.

  Having sex on the floor of his bathroom.

  They’d clearly been taken by some sort of camera with a zoom lens, so it wasn’t like Guy had managed to set anything up in Levi’s apartment. Still, the violation of it clawed at me from the inside.

  Someone knocked on the window of my car, and I might as well have jumped out of my skin. But it was just Devyn and Kaetlyn Griggs and their father, arriving at the rink for their lesson. Calm down, I told myself. I could do this. I could get through these lessons, then go to the police. And maybe this time, it would be enough evidence for them to arrest Guy.

  My heart was pounding so hard I could practically hear it, and I could barely see through my tears to shove the pictures back into the envelope. I slammed them into the glove box and forced myself to smile as I got out of the car.

  “Sorry,” I said. “Running late.”

  We hurried inside and got started. Their father sat in the stands watching attentively as we worked through some very basic mechanics. From what I could tell, he didn’t realize anything was wrong. All the better. The last thing I needed was to freak out so badly I scared anyone else.

  We got through their hour, and I ushered them on their way. And, as expected, Guy hadn’t shown up or done anything else. I took a few minutes to head up front and talk to Gord. He seemed to think everything was as it should be, which was very reassuring.

  Next up was Rachel Allan, whose mother had come along, as usual. Rachel had proven to be a challenging student for me, as she was dealing with both ADHD and a bit of autism. Skating gave her something to focus on, though, and she was just as determined as Sophie. By the time I finished with Rachel’s lesson, I was finally starting to calm down and breathe normally again. It was just Guy trying to get to me again, and it had worked all too well. I couldn’t keep letting him bother me like this.

  Rachel and her mom were on their way out when Sophie and Paige rushed in.

  “I’m sorry we’re late!” Paige said. She set Sophie’s gym bag on the bleachers and started getting her dressed. “It’s been a crazy day. Always is with four girls. I forgot that Zoe has dress rehearsals today for her next dance recital, and she doesn’t have her costume. So I’ve got to race back home, grab it, and rush it up to the studio.”

  “No problem,” I assured her, even though I felt more nervous than I hoped I was letting on. But honestly, Guy hadn’t done anything other than put a freaking envelope full of photographs on my car this morning. That was all he’d done. There was no reason to think he’d do anything now. I forced a smile to my lips, determined to remain calm. “Sophie and I’ll be just fine on our own, won’t we?”

  Sophie nodded emphatically. “We’re doing spirals today, Mom.”

  “You’re sure?” Paige asked me, trying to get one of Sophie’s skates laced. “Because Mattias said I should stay with you two. I tried calling the girls’ father—”

  “I’m sure. Sophie and I will be just fine, and if we need anything, Gord can help us out. Right, Sophie Bug?”

  She’d recently given me permission to call her that, too, just like Levi did. Only the two of us were ever allowed to call her that.

  “Right,” she said, tugging her arms out of her coat. “Cadence and I are just gonna skate, Mom.”

  “Go,” I said, shooing her on her way. I took over working on Sophie’s skates because the activity would surely help me calm down. “I’ve got everything under control here.”

  “You’re an angel,” Paige said. She kissed Sophie on the top of the head, and then she headed out with the same brisk pace as she’d come in.

  I made sure Sophie’s laces were tight and then grinned at her. “Ready?”

  “Yep. But I wish Levi was here.”

  “Me, too.” For more reasons than I cared to explain at the moment. I held out my hand to help her up, but she pretended she didn’t see it and got up on her own. We headed out to the ice and got started.

  Twenty minutes into our session, the doors banged open.

  “That was fast,” I said, without bothering to look over my shoulder. I’d thought it would take Paige nearly the full hour before she returned. “I wasn’t expecting you back so soon.”

  “Weren’t you?” Guy said.

  Every ounce of blood in my body froze.

  “WHO’S THAT MAN?” Sophie asked, always full of sweetness and light and all the good things Guy wanted to suck out of my life.

  I tried to breathe, but the air got stuck halfway down my throat. Wouldn’t reach my lungs. I needed to calm down enough that I could breathe and figure out what to do. This was for real this time. He was actually here, and he intended to act, not just threaten me. Didn’t he? Why else would he be here? No reason I could fathom.

  Think. Think! By now, Guy was already closer to my phone and my pepper spray than I was. No time to go get them.

  I didn’t have the first clue what Guy intended, but if he was deliberately going against the protective order and coming closer to me than he should, I had to get Sophie to safety, to make sure she understood how serious the situation might be, but not scare her—all at once. That was my first order of business. Everything else had to come later. But how? No clue.

  She was skating toward me, thank goodness, so I waited until she came to a wobbly stop in front of me. Then I put an arm around her shoulders and started guiding her toward the opposite side of the rink from Guy, who had almost reached that door.

  “Sophie Bug, I need you to do me a favor,” I said quietly.

  “What favor?” she asked.

  At the same time, Guy shouted out, “Where do you think you’re going, Cadence? I need to talk to you. I came all this way for you. You can’t just skate away from me like that.”

  Sophie looked up at me, her big, caring eyes filled with concern. “He’s the bad man, isn’t he? Bergy told me about him.”

  There wasn’t a chance in the world I’d lie to her about this. Getting her cooperation was too important. I nodded, a thousand thoughts racing through my head at once.

  “I can help you fight him.”

  “Not a chance.”

  It was true that she’d gone to a couple of self-defense classes with me, but I couldn’t handle it if anything happened to her. As it was, I was worried sick about Gord. There was no way he would have just let Guy walk past him. Something awful must have already taken place, and more seemed to be on the way.

  How stupid had I been? I should’ve gone straight to the police as soon as I’d seen the envelope on my windshield this morning. Instead, I’d fallen back into my old habits, and I’d convinced myself it was no big deal. Nothing more than Guy pulling the same things he’d been pulling.

  No more stupidity. It was time to act decisively. To get this asshole out of my life once and for all, whatever it took.

  “He’s not going to hurt you, though, okay?” I said, trying to ease both of our minds. “He’s going to leave you alone. I’m going to make sure of it. But I need you to go up to the office and tell Mr. Gord that we need help. And if you can’t find him at the front desk, or if anything’s happened to him, then pick up the phone on the desk and call nine-one-one. Can you do that for me?”

  She nodded. “Yep. Mom taught me how to call nine-one-one.”

  “Good girl.” I opened the door and helped her steady herself, glancing behind me to find that Guy had already come through the other door and was halfway across the ice. “Hurry, Sophie. Go as fast as you can. And stay out at the desk after you call, okay? Do exactly what they tell you.”

  Once she disappeared, I stayed on the ice, hoping to keep him as far away from that little girl as I could, and I spun around. Guy was only ten feet away from me, fast-walking across the rink. How the heck was he moving so fast in his shoes? He’d clearly spent way too much time on the ice in his life. Shaking but determined, I did my b
est to assess the situation. That was one of the first things I’d learned in my Krav Maga classes. I needed to think calmly and clearly about what he could use against me and, just as importantly, what I could use against him.

  This wasn’t just self-defense. I had to be ready to attack.

  He was bigger and stronger than me, but I wasn’t at a total disadvantage. He was in shoes on ice; I had on skates with sharp blades. I didn’t see anything close by that would make a good weapon, so that was out. It was going to be me and my wits.

  “I don’t know what you’re so scared of,” Guy said, gradually inching closer. He’d slowed down once he was almost within striking distance, after wobbling a couple of times. “I’ve never treated you like shit the way your boy toy does. You let that punk fuck you up against the wall, toss you on the floor, spread you out on the kitchen counter… He’s a fucking animal, the way he treats you. But you’re living with him and issuing protective orders against me. Doesn’t make any sense, Cadence.”

  With every step he took toward me, I backed farther away. I didn’t say anything. Something told me Guy wanted to hear himself a hell of a lot more than he wanted to hear anything I might have to say, unless it was along the lines of, “Yes, you’re right, I’m coming back to you right this second.”

  No way would I tell him anything of the sort.

  “Is that what you wanted from me? I was always gentle with you. Didn’t fuck you like a beast. Maybe I should have, since it seems to get you off.” He smiled in a way that made my stomach churn with fear. “We could do that right now if you want. I could bend you over the boards and fuck you raw.”

  Had Sophie found Gord yet? Was she on the phone with nine-one-one? God, I hoped so.

  Guy took another step, and I pushed back, never taking my eyes off him. Didn’t look like he had any sort of weapon on him, but there was no telling what might be under his coat. He hadn’t reached for anything yet, though.

  “Would you scream for me the way you scream for him?” He chuckled, and my insides curdled. “I’d like to hear you scream again. It’d make me think of the sound you made when you fell that last time we skated together.”

  “You mean when you dropped me,” I shot back. Couldn’t stop myself. The more he spoke, the closer I got to being ready to fight back—to really fight back.

  “Falls happen in figure skating,” he said, brushing it off. He was still moving. Closer to me all the time.

  I was paying too much attention to him and not enough to the rest of the situation. My butt bumped into the boards, and that was when Guy lunged for me.

  His feet slipped on the ice, but he caught both hands around my neck as he went down, dragging me with him.

  I squirmed to get myself in a better position, fighting to breathe with his hands making that complicated, but it was no use. He used his leverage and got himself above me, his knees shoving between my thighs to get a better grip on my throat. I couldn’t spare the energy required to scream, not that it would do me any good if I did. It might scare Sophie, and that was the last thing I needed.

  Don’t panic. Stay calm. Think!

  My arms weren’t long enough to hold him back, but I remembered what I’d learned. I crossed my arms up over the top of his and grabbed hold of the outside of each of his wrists. Raised my hips as high as possible. Brought them down again with as much force as I could muster, and my arms at the same time. That was enough to break his hold on my neck. I bucked a hip out and got a skate in the bend of his hip. The other followed a moment later. I inched my skate blades closer to his crotch, and I kicked with everything I had in me.

  My head slammed hard against the boards, leaving me dazed, and he let out an animal-like scream of pain. But I was free of him, at least for now. I scrambled to my feet and took off toward the other side of the rink as fast as I could, but I was woozy and kept stumbling every few feet. He tackled me halfway there, one hand catching my ankle. I hit hard when I went down. Hot, red blood stained the ice below me. Maybe I’d hit harder than I’d thought.

  My other foot was free. I kicked. Made contact with something. Kicked again and again and again until he released my foot.

  Then I was up again, skating as fast as I could. Threw myself over the boards, tumbled to the concrete floor. I crawled to the bench and grabbed my keys. I hit the button on the pepper spray before I’d fully spun around, holding down the button as he screamed in agony and fell, covering his face with his hands. Even then, I didn’t let go.

  Not until the doors banged open and cops rushed inside, guns pointed at the two of us, shouting, “Nobody move!”

  I dropped the pepper spray and kept my hands in the air where they could see them.

  “Fucking bitch!” Guy screamed.

  Two of the officers hurried closer, their weapons still aimed in our general direction.

  Dizzy. So dizzy. I swayed in place, and one of the policemen lowered his gun and put an arm on my shoulder.

  “Sit down. Looks like you’ve lost a lot of blood.” He lowered me to the nearest bleacher while one of his partners dealt with Guy.

  “I think—” I stopped, shaking my head. It was too difficult to think.

  “What do you think?” he asked.

  I blinked at him. Couldn’t bring him into focus anymore. My head hurt, and I reached up to scratch it. Came away with more blood than I’d ever seen in my life.

  He put a cloth or something on my head and held it there. “Why don’t you lie down?” he suggested.

  That sounded like a very good idea. I let him lower me until I was stretched out on the aluminum bench. But then I shot straight back up, instantly wishing I hadn’t. Couldn’t tell which way was up and which way was a quick way to a concussion. Which I might already have, come to think of it.

  I held my hand to my head and wished the world would stop spinning. “Sophie! And Gord. Are they okay?”

  “Everyone’s going to be just fine,” he said, gently easing me back again. “Including you, if you’ll let us do our jobs.”

  I nodded. Immediately regretted it. Nothing would come into focus, not in my vision or in my mind. Except—“Am I under arrest?”

  The cop laughed, which confused me.

  “Let go!” It was Sophie’s voice. “Let me go. I’m gonna take care of her for Levi.”

  Then I felt her small, strong hand gripping mine.

  “I did it, Cadence. I called nine-one-one.”

  “You sure did,” I said, doing my best to stay calm and coherent for her sake. “You did great, Sophie.”

  “They said the ambulance is coming. I’m going to ride with you.”

  I nodded again, but the more she talked, the less I understood. Then she faded. Faded. Faded away.

  “WRONG SKATES, PECKERWOOD.” Koz tossed a roll of stick tape in my direction.

  I caught it just before it hit me upside the head. We were in Calgary, getting ready for morning skate before our game against the Flames. I glared at him, ready to rip his head off if he said a fucking word about me figure skating, but Hammer spoke up before anything else happened.

  “Look like the same skates he always wears to me.” He grabbed the tape from me and sat down beside me to work on prepping his stick. Then he glanced over at Koz. “Looks like you could use a new pair, though. How long have you worn the same skates? They’re as beat up as your face was after scrapping with Shaw.”

  Ghost snorted in laughter as he passed between us.

  “What’s so fucking funny?” Koz demanded.

  “Just remembering how your nose got rearranged,” Ghost said. “That was a good day. Hey, you should go with Engelland tonight. I bet he can rearrange the rest of your face.”

  “How about I just rearrange your face right now?” Koz shot back.

  “How about we all try to remember what we’re doing here,” Hammer said.

  Koz sat back in his stall and shoved his headphones in his ears, sulking. Then he took out his book of Sudoku puzzles and started solving one.
I’d never understood why, but puzzles and games like that always calmed him down. At least he had a trick for getting past things.

  And at least he’d shut his trap before saying anything about me figure skating.

  I taped up my socks and went back to getting myself ready for morning skate. Not even two minutes passed, though, and Jim Sutter came into the locker room.

  That wasn’t normal.

  At all.

  He might drop in after a game every now and then, and he stopped by during morning skate or practices all the time. But in the time before a game, he was busy doing his thing, and he always left it to the players and coaches to get ready.

  That couldn’t be a good sign, him being in here.

  He headed over to Jonny, who was quietly putting on his gear in his corner of the room, the way he always did. Head down, focused on the task at hand, no joking about. Jim said something to him, and Jonny’s head shot up. Then they both looked over at me.

  It had to be Cadence.

  In no time, I was standing in front of Jonny’s stall next to Jim. “What is it? What happened?”

  “I need the two of you to come into Bergy’s office for a minute, okay?”

  That made it sound even worse. All the blood drained out of my head. I had to be white as my fucking jersey.

  We got up and followed him into the coach’s office, and Jim shut the door. Bergy looked as worried as Jonny and I were. He was up and pacing behind his desk instead of sitting there like the perfect picture of calm he so often presented.

  “Why don’t we all have a seat?” Jim suggested. The three of us glared at him, so he shook his head and kept talking. “Or not. I just got off the phone with Rachel. It seems that Cadence was attacked by the guy who’s been stalking her. Guy? Is that his name? He used to be her skating partner.”

  I nodded grimly.