Love Inspired Historical June 2014 Bundle: Lone Star HeiressThe Lawman's Oklahoma SweetheartThe Gentleman's Bride SearchFamily on the Range

by Griggs, Winnie; Pleiter, Allie; Hale, Deborah; Nelson, Jessica

  “I love you,” she said. The words came out clear. Grinning, she said it again. “I love you, Lou Riley.”

  “I know,” he groaned.

  She stopped stroking his hair, her fingers lingering in a painful pause. He knew? And then it came to her that she had been foolish. Laying out her affections, thinking he returned them. Her heart strangled beneath her breastbone. She chose not to speak. She dropped her hands to her sides and waited.

  He lifted his head, his eyes piercing. “I haven’t done you right, Mary. I don’t deserve your love.”

  She shook her head, surprised at his words. “But of course you do—”

  “No.” He gripped her shoulders. “I should have been there for you. Protected you.”

  “But you did.” She touched his cheek again, amazed by the contrast of masculinity and vulnerability on his face. “God led you to us.”

  He shook his head, but she stopped him from speaking by holding up a palm. “I doubted God, you know. Words can do that, dig deep holes that are not easily filled. God seemed to forsake me. Now, when I needed Him with Langdon, and so long ago, when Mendez came for me. But then you showed up. Both times, you have been there. If you hadn’t tossed your hat into that building, you may have continued past. I may have huddled with Josie in a corner until that man found us. I can’t deny how God has used you to protect me.”

  “I don’t know if I can believe that.” A grimace passed across his face. “He wasn’t there with Sarah and Abby. He could have spared them, but He didn’t.”

  She tried to hide her flinch. “I am truly sorry for your loss.”

  Perhaps he saw something in her face that she hadn’t successfully hidden, for his features softened. “I’m not saying I’m not glad you were spared. I am, more than you can believe. You and Josie are… You’re special. I guess I’m just struggling with why God helps some but not others.”

  She had no answer for him and perhaps it would be unwise to speak anyway, because her emotions tangled within and skewed her perspective. She’d confessed her love, and he’d ignored that, even bringing up his wife and daughter. She’d thought what stood between them was his job, but too late she saw she’d been wrong.

  It was so much more. What she’d felt in his kiss hadn’t been love, it had been a normal, physical attraction. Her face burned at her naïveté.

  He released her shoulders and took a step back. His face shuttered. “You deserve more than a washed-up agent who can’t get over the fact God gets to make all the rules. If God cares, He’ll give you someone wonderful to love.”

  He already has, but the man is too stubborn to realize it. She swallowed her reply. “Will you still be going to Asia?”

  “In two weeks.”

  “And Langdon?”

  “I’ll track him before then.”

  So he planned to find Langdon after all. Frustration welled. “Shouldn’t you let objective agents look for him?”

  “No, this is too important.” He cast a fervent look to the door, then leaned close to her. “The man put out a contract on me. He wants me dead, and I don’t aim to give him that pleasure. I haven’t worked out why yet, but that’s not important.”

  “He and Mendez were cousins.” She watched as shock etched slackness across his features.

  “Who told you that?”

  “He took pride in sharing that information with me, but I also noticed a resemblance in their bone structure.” It was hard to speak over the pain of Lou’s rejection, but she forced a calm facade. “From what I can piece together, Langdon was behind Mendez’s obsession with me. The man worked for him and carried out his orders.”

  “Did he tell you anything else?”

  “A little more.” Only that because of her mother’s part in this drama, she’d been kidnapped for one week and the course of her life had been forever altered. “Langdon met me when I was a child. I remember him as a boy who stared too much. I suppose I had reason to be wary of him.”

  “He discovered you lived with Trevor’s mother and sought you out.”

  She nodded slowly. “Yes.”

  “That…” Lou sucked in a deep breath, his eyes angry and bright. “Go home and rest peacefully, knowing he’ll pay for what he did to you.”

  “Please don’t take revenge,” she said quietly.

  “I don’t get revenge, sweetheart. I get justice.”

  *

  Two hours passed before the lawyer arrived. Trevor and Gracie followed close behind.

  “Mary! Lou telephoned our hotel. I’m so sorry.” Gracie rushed forward, arms enveloping her in a gentle embrace that brought tears to her eyes. It had been too long since she’d seen her exuberant friend. Gracie had cut her hair short in a stylish bob, and her beaded dress swirled around her knees.

  Mary’s smile wobbled as she extricated herself from Gracie’s grasp.

  Trevor hugged her next, and she felt the support from her childhood friend in the firm pressure of his hands. He stepped back and put his arm around his wife’s shoulders. They fit well together, and his face held a peacefulness that hadn’t been there when he and Mary were growing up.

  Warmth at her side brought her attention to Josie.

  “This is Josie,” she told them, patting the little girl’s shoulder. She’d been too quiet today.

  “A pleasure to meet you,” Gracie said in her bubbly way.

  Mary glanced at the lawyer behind Trevor, a lean man with a tired air to his sunken features. A chill rippled through her—this might be the last time she saw Josie.

  Lou stalked toward them. She averted her gaze. She could not bear to look at him, not after their disastrous conversation.

  “Are you okay?” Gracie peered at her, eyes wide, and Mary realized she’d missed something.

  “I’m sorry. Just thinking.”

  “No, I shouldn’t be chatting your ear off. They’re going in for the meeting, though. I will wait out here for you. Shall I watch Josie?”

  “Are you okay with that?” she asked the girl at her side. Josie’s head moved slightly and though it pained her to leave Josie again, she took her hand and brought it to Gracie’s.

  “We’re going to have great fun. I know a wonderful game….” Gracie’s voice faded as Mary swiveled and headed toward the same interrogation room where Lou had kissed her. Her lips burned with the memory. Her heart ached.

  He’d shot down her profession of love so easily…. Had she misread him this entire time? But surely he did not feel only brotherly things for her. No, he was a man in flux and there was nothing she could do about that. Feeling grim, she squeezed into the room.

  The lawyer hadn’t bothered sitting at the little table with its scrawny chairs. Instead, the men crowded into the small space, filling it with the scent of cologne and rustling suits. Lou’s blue jeans were out of place and yet he still managed to look more comfortable than everyone else.

  Even Trevor waited near the wall, his eyes sympathetic. She flashed him a weak smile and took a spot in the corner. Another man stood near Lou, perhaps a fellow agent? She huddled against the wall, feeling its bareness at her back.

  The lawyer cleared his throat. “This is a highly unusual situation. Unforeseen, actually. The will is binding and unchangeable.” His eyes skittered to Mary. Did he feel her fear? She blinked and looked away.

  She found Lou staring at her. His face was unreadable, his thumbs hooked into the pockets of his jeans, and yet she thought she detected regret on his face. Or maybe she imagined it. With difficulty she pulled her attention from him and focused on the lawyer who held the rest of her dreams in his hands.

  Mentally she shook herself. No. God held her dreams. She must trust Him because she had nothing left, no one left, to turn to.

  The lawyer held up the packet, which looked cumbersome to her. “Are all parties ready for the reading of the will?” he asked.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  God worked amazing wonders.

  Mary watched passengers board the train in
front of her. People milled around her, their voices melding with the sound of brakes and steam. Dirt and perfume mingled in the air, stirred by the excitement of those whose lives would change with a train ride, if only temporarily.

  “When do we get to go on?” Josie tugged the hem of Mary’s dress, her eagerness palpable.

  Mary grinned at her and pulled her close. “As soon as Trevor returns.”

  They’d stayed in Portland a few days longer, going to the funeral and making arrangements for Josie’s home, which Josie had inherited in the will. It had become obvious why Mr. Langdon wanted Josie out of the picture. She was a wealthy little girl now, but if she died, the money went to Mr. Langdon as next of kin. The lawyer had pronounced Mary, of all people, to be Josie’s legal guardian. Apparently Mrs. Silver had changed her will at the last moment. Not only was Mary the named guardian, but she was also in charge of funds for the child’s care.

  They spent the nights at the hotel, and Josie slept in Mary’s room with her. Though joy filled her at the thought of taking care of her precious girl, at being a mother, she hadn’t been able to sleep well.

  Her thoughts always returned to Lou.

  Beside her, Gracie bobbed up and down on antsy feet. “It’s been so long since I was home. Has anything changed?”

  “Not quite. I had planned to paint the sitting room but someone spilled the bucket.” Mary winked at Josie, whose smile widened in the burgeoning dawn light. “Maybe we can try again.”

  “Ooh, I’d love to help paint,” Gracie gushed. “A passionate purple. Or maybe a subdued pear. It will be just the thing, except… Well, I must be careful of the fumes.”

  Fumes? Mary looked at her friend and saw the secret smile playing about her lips. Gracie’s fingers splayed across her belly and knowledge sunk in. “You must be very careful, indeed. No ladders, either,” she said.

  They smiled at each other, the moment bonded by friendship.

  “Can I get on the ladder? I won’t fall,” Josie added, a determined look in her sparkling eyes.

  “We’ll see,” Mary said.

  “That means no.” A pout curved Josie’s lips.

  “Let’s go.” Trevor pushed through the crowd and beckoned them.

  Josie’s hand in hers, Mary followed Gracie and Trevor to the edge of the train. She was just about to board when a hand on her shoulder stopped her.

  She turned to see Lou, mouth tight, eyes shadowed, his hat lying at a crooked angle on his head.

  “Can we talk?” he asked.

  “Now?”

  The train whistled, signaling a warning. Mary looked up. Gracie gave her a thumbs-up and put her hand on Josie’s shoulder, who was looking everywhere and hopping on one foot. Biting her lip, Mary moved away from the train, Lou right behind her.

  He had filled her every waking moment. His smile. His kiss. The way she could talk to him, or even yell at him, and he didn’t hurt for it. He didn’t reject her.

  Until she’d offered love.

  “What do you need?” she asked now, more curt than necessary.

  He studied her, gaze serious. “I need to know we’re still friends.”

  Friends? She wanted to slap him at that moment. It was a shocking urge, so surprising that she clasped her fingers to keep from acting on it. Was it his fault that he still loved his wife? Could she fault a man for such loyalty? No, and yet her heart was splintering within her chest.

  The lady means nothing to me.

  He’d meant it more than she’d realized.

  “Mary, I’m serious. I value your friendship and the way you’ve served our makeshift family. I know that lately I’ve been bossy. Demanding. But I did it for your own good.” He doffed his hat and placed it against his chest. “I know I was wrong, though. That you’re an adult capable of taking care of not only herself, but a little girl. She’s something, isn’t she?” A wistful look crossed his face, so at odds with the jut of his strong jawline and determined eyes.

  Mary swallowed. “She is. And you and I are friends, always.” Much as it hurt to say, she could never deny him that.

  “You’ve always had such loyalty. I envy it. My own family refused to speak to me for years because of my work with the bureau, and it’s tough for me to forgive them. But I look at how you treat your ma, I see the love of God in your actions….” He trailed off before saying, “The way you live encourages me to live better.”

  She shifted, uncomfortable with his praise. With the entire situation, really. If he only knew. She looked at him and saw how he gazed at her, his eyes like sapphires in the sun. She wanted to remember this moment forever. Wanted to memorize the lines of his face, to touch them and carve them into the tips of her fingers, to hold on to always.

  “I’m not perfect,” she blurted. “Langdon said my mother led him to me. All she cared about was finding my father. If not for her, I would have never been kidnapped. I might be married, with a family. Emotionally whole.” Her voice caught and she couldn’t continue.

  Her throat felt tight and raw. She waited for Lou’s shock, but it didn’t come. Instead, he winced. The minuscule movement stunned her. It was a physical blow. She staggered back, the pulse of her blood surging and then slowing, her lungs constricting until she thought she might never breathe again.

  And yet she did. A deep, oxygen-filled inhalation borne of necessity.

  “You knew,” she whispered on her exhale.

  “I knew.” His eyes met hers. Apologetic.

  Her hand shot out and connected with his cheek. He didn’t move, not even when the mark from her hand suffused an angry red. She swallowed hard, her whole body aflame, her palm smarting. He’d known…for how long? How many secrets did he hold? How much more did he keep from her? She’d been very wrong to trust him.

  “Secrets do not make a friendship,” she said coldly. His face was blank, as if unaffected by her anger. So be it. She was done with this man, with everything. Never again would she allow herself to dream of him, to relive his recent kisses and his tender words over the years.

  Shaking, she whirled and forced her trembling knees to march to the train, just as it let out another ear-splitting whistle.

  Let Lou seek his revenge. Let him ignore the God who cared for him. Let him reject the woman who would have given him her all.

  She was done with him and everything he represented.

  Her eyes burned as she stepped onto the train and searched the seats for a familiar face. She had Josie, and she was going home.

  She would have a family, with or without Lou Riley.

  *

  The heart was the biggest betrayer of all.

  Mary discovered that unfortunate tidbit when she couldn’t stop dreaming about Lou during the journey home. She’d see him stretching out his hand, asking for help, but her pride kept her heart far from him.

  No.

  Her broken feelings were the culprit, not pride, for even seeing him in her dreams caused her to wake with dried tears upon her cheek.

  The bright spot in her life was Josie. Between her and Gracie’s excited chatter, there was little time during the days’ travel to pine over Lou. Only at night did he steal her sleep.

  Finally, weary and dirty, they arrived at the ranch. Josie pounded up the steps, yelling for James. Gracie bounced around in excitement before grabbing Trevor for a long kiss. He embraced her, the quiet smile on his face testament to his love for his young bride.

  God had changed him so deeply…. Could He do the same for Mary? Give her peace with how things had ended with Lou?

  Feeling unsettled and scattered, Mary stepped out of the neighbor’s wagon. James had been unable to meet their train due to ranch duties, and so Mr. Horn had come to fetch them.

  “Don’t forget the potluck next month,” he said from his perch on the wagon seat. “It’s our last meeting with food before the cold weather shows up. We’ve got a special afternoon of preaching and then supper and music. Miss Alma has everything planned out.”

  “We�
�ll be there,” Mary said feebly.

  Mr. Horn inclined his head and then took off, his team of horses digging up the road and clouding the air with desert dirt. Summer in Harney County was dry and sunny. The climate remained the same. Not like her feelings, which had been flung about in a tornado of change.

  Everyone had gone into the house, but she stayed outside, longing for freedom from the cage she’d put herself in. Not only did she feel guilty for saying what she had to Lou, but she dreaded seeing her mother.

  It had been easy to forgive her when she’d understood a woman’s need to find her husband. It was much harder now, knowing the nightmare of her past could have been prevented if only her mother had kept quiet. Examined more deeply Langdon’s inquiry. Anything but flippantly giving out her daughter’s whereabouts in exchange for her husband’s.

  She gripped her luggage and slowly walked to her house, leaving the ranch house behind. She must face her mother at some point. Now, with no audience, seemed best.

  And yet her feet dragged. Knowing Trevor’s mother had sold her hurt, but she’d been aware of Julia’s character and hadn’t been surprised. What her mother had done was a different matter.

  A strong wind blew at her hair. How she wished it would also blow away this knowledge of her mother’s unwitting betrayal.

  Eventually she reached the house. Her mother stood near the gate, hair unplaited, eyes the deep black of the Paiute. Grimness painted her face into grooves and shadows. Her skirt whipped around her ankles and familiarity washed over Mary.

  She’d wanted her mother here. Longed to see her restored to the laughing, beautiful woman of her youth. Maybe somehow she’d thought this would do the same for her, that if her mother was healed of her past, then she could be, also.

  Did that mean she’d only been thinking of herself? That her motives had always been more selfish than she’d realized?

  She stepped forward, eyes on her mother, a frown niggling at her lips.

  “My daughter.” Rose spoke quietly, and the breeze diluted her words into a faint sound of pleading.