The Spinsters Secret

by Monroe, Jennifer

  She could pen a letter to her parents, but she highly doubted they would be happy to hear from her at this time. She imagined her father tearing it up in anger at her ruining his plans, and her mother, well, Alice was already a disappointment to the woman, so there was no reason to waste the ink and paper. Emily would be much too busy with Lord Ashbury, and Alice did not want to take her away from the possibility of her sister marrying a Baron. The reminder of the fact that her sister had run away would only distress her, and Alice cared much too deeply for Emily to put her in that position.

  There was one, however, to whom she could write, someone with whom she could share all of her secrets, so she grabbed a quill, dipped the end in the ink and began to write.

  Dearest Thomas,

  Though it pains me, I have important news to tell you. I must inform you that soon I am to be married. However, it is imperative that you understand that I do not love him. It would take too many pages to explain, but our union will be one that will benefit my father, as well as myself and my future husband. Lord Blackmoore is like most men, which is to say, he is not like you. I will be opening a millinery in Cornwall, St. Mawes to be exact, for which I am quite pleased. Despite this pleasure I feel for realizing my dream of running such a business, I must admit that I miss you dearly.

  In saying all this, I only hope that you will find it in your heart to one day forgive me for not waiting for you.

  It became difficult to see through the tears that filled her eyes. Later, she would complete the letter, but for now, she set it aside and dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief. She pushed the chair back and stood for a moment, listening to a blast of thunder that shook the large windows at the front of the shop. How sad and alone she felt at that very moment as memories of Emily rushing into her room came to mind. Alice would hold her tight and soothe her until the panic and fright left her. How she missed those simple days.

  As she looked out across the road, the lightning illuminated the ocean waves for a moment, leaving a streak of light in her vision, and she rubbed at her eyes in an attempt to clear them. No one was about, not in this weather, as most were safely tucked away in their homes or at one of the inns. She had no doubt that the weather would continue to be rough over the next weeks as she and Johnathan got the store ready. However, not only would the weather be turbulent, but Johnathan’s anger and his outlook on life would create a tempest between them where a storm now only brewed.

  Despite her desire to once more run away, she found she could not. She had given her word to marry him, and though he made life unbearable, he was helpful in many ways in readying the shop. Then a thought occurred to her and she straightened her back. The choice might not be hers as to whether or not she married the man; however, whether or not she was miserable was at her discretion. Even if the storm raging both outside and in continued, she took hope in the future. Thomas would know what she was doing and why, and although she knew he would forgive her, he always did, one question still remained.

  Would she be able to forgive herself?

  Chapter Sixteen

  Alice rose with the sun and went about preparing herself for the day ahead. Johnathan would be back this morning and she preferred to not upset him any further by being late. She missed Esther’s deft hand with her hair and having someone help her with her stays, but the freedom of being her own person was well worth what she had relinquished. Plus, once she and Johnathan married, she would more than likely have another lady’s maid who could do just as well.

  It had been a month since she had last donned the simple commoner’s dress she had retrieved from the clothes that had been hung out to dry, and she hoped she never would again. The dress had served its purpose, but she preferred the softness of the muslin gown she now wore to the scratchy material. She had also added a layer of lace to the once plain hems, giving it an updated look.

  One last glance in the mirror showed her that she was ready for the day, her hair pulled back and covered in a lace cap that she herself had embroidered as she spent many hours by the fire the previous winter as rare snow blanketed the ground outside.

  In her tiny kitchen she hung a kettle over the fire for her tea and glanced around the small living quarters. In some ways, she missed her life back home, where someone was always available to meet her every need. Now, however, she was responsible for everything, and though she enjoyed the independence, she also wished she had the funds to hire at least a woman to do the chores so she could spend that time on readying the shop.

  A loud knock on the front door made her almost drop the spoon she held in her hand. Her mind had wandered, as it was wont to do, and she shook her head as her heartbeat returned to its normal rhythm. Johnathan stood looking in the window, his face pressed up to the glass and a hand shading his eyes. What an impatient man he was.

  When she opened the door, he stepped past her, and she realized why he was so adamant about getting inside. The rain pelted down, quickly creating a puddle just inside the door, and she quickly shut it to keep more from coming in.

  “I do not know what has angered the weather,” he said as he shook the water from his coat, “but it is going to be another miserable day, I can assure you.” He was clearly agitated, and Alice groaned inwardly. Her prediction the previous night had been correct after all.

  His usually wavy hair now lay flat on his head and she had to stop herself from moving it from his forehead. Why would she feel the need to touch his hair? And why was he not wearing a hat? However, she decided against asking him; his mood was already turbulent. Instead, she decided to respond to his statement. “The weather might be miserable, but I will not allow it to bring me down. There is too much excitement to be had today.” She offered him a smile but received a frown in return.

  “Too much excitement?” he asked with an intense stare. “Whatever do you mean?”

  She shrugged. “Are you not going to teach me today?” she asked, though, in all honesty, she was finding that he had little to teach her. Yet, it would all be worth it if it meant her opening the millinery of which she had always dreamed.

  The corner of his mouth took a slight upturn. “Very funny,” he said, but the anger he had exuded earlier was now gone.

  “Would you like some tea?” she asked. “It will help warm you up.”

  He nodded. “Indeed. I would love one. Thank you.”

  She almost gaped at him. He had never been this polite since she had known him. However, she was not going to look a gift-horse in the mouth. She would take a pleasant Lord Blackmoore to the grumpy one any day of the week.

  She pulled out a table from the corner and set the tarnished silver serving tray on it. “Would you like me to pour?” she asked.

  “Please,” he replied as he blew on his fingers. “I feel I might struggle to hold the cup in my frozen fingers, let alone the entire teapot.”

  For a moment she could only stare at the man. He appeared in better spirits today than he had been yesterday, but she could not be certain. Was the slight scowl he wore a residual vexation over yesterday’s situation, or perhaps it was the weather? The thought brought her out of her concentration and she poured his tea.

  Johnathan thanked her and took the cup over to the window. Alice followed him with her own cup and joined him in staring out at the storm that continued to rage. The boats bobbed in the water precariously, and Alice wondered if they would break apart. However, the thought was absurd, or so she had been told. Patrick had explained that these storms were not uncommon this time of year, so the chance of the waves slamming the boats so forcefully against the dock they broke apart was highly unlikely.

  “I am afraid the weather is much too cold and wet to do venture outside today,” Johnathan said without turning. “I suggest we spend the day here going over the inner workings of your business and what you will need to know to make it is successful.” He sipped at his tea, and Alice was happy to see that his scowl was now all but gone.

  “How old were you when y
ou started to learn about running a business?” Alice asked.

  He said nothing for a few moments as he continued to stare out the window. Finally, he said, “My father taught me from an early age, constantly lecturing me about the various rules of negotiation, which he said was the cornerstone of any good business. By the time I was ten I was permitted to attend meetings with both financiers and patrons and by fifteen I was given the opportunity to put into action what I had learned and began speaking on his behalf on smaller matters.”

  “Smaller matters? Such as?”

  “I began with livestock trade such as sheep. He only dabbled in it, which is why I was allowed to engage in talks. Eventually, I moved on to more important matters, including a business venture he started where he could provide coachbuilders with cushions for their seats, freeing them up to focus more on the construction of the rest of the carriage. However, I have run into some difficulty…”

  “Oh? And what difficulty would that be?” she asked with genuine interest.

  “An arrangement that would have placed me far and above any other was dependent on marrying a woman who saw fit to run away and cause me to lose money. That is something I do not like to do.” He had not turned to look at her, but she could almost feel his eyes boring into her in accusation. She had nothing to say, however, for she felt no regret for leaving as she had. Her motivation had not included causing anyone harm, financial or otherwise.

  “For your monetary loss, I am truly sorry,” she said as she laid a hand on his arm. “I hope you believe so.”

  He studied her for a moment and then said, “I do.” Dust puffed into the air as he slapped the windowsill. “Enough talk of the past,” he said as he walked over and placed his now empty teacup on the serving tray. “No use comes of worrying about it now.” He smiled and pushed a wave of hair from his brow, and Alice swallowed hard in an attempt to wet her suddenly dry mouth. And as Johnathan began his instruction, her mind went back to their encounter with Mr. Johnson, and although Alice felt she had every right to voice her opinion, she realized how important business was to Johnathan and how her interference had somehow taken something away from him. She thought it silly he should feel as such, but he was a man. She had learned from watching her father that a man’s ego could be easily injured, and that healing was more delicate than a broken bone.

  “You are unusually quiet,” Johnathan said, causing Alice’s face to heat up. “Is everything all right?”

  She had a decision to make in that moment, a distasteful decision to say the least, but it was a choice she hoped would make life leading up to their marriage bearable. She had to humble herself, something she did not enjoy but at times needed to do.

  “I want to apologize for yesterday when I interrupted your conversation with Mr. Johnson. It was not my intention to upset you. I truly am thankful you are taking the time to teach me.” Oh, how the words pained her, for she knew it would give him the upper hand.

  She could not read his expression; however, after several moments, he nodded. “As I said before, let us leave the past where it belongs.”

  Johnathan spoke for hours, but after her apology, he no longer spoke down to her, but rather treated her as if she were an equal, or at least some semblance of one. Soon, Alice found herself nodding and soaking in every word he said, and she was surprised when he suggested they pause the instruction without the insinuation that, by doing so, they were somehow wasting time. Her shock continued when they walked outside and she realized that the rain had stopped and the sun was shining.

  “What time is it?” she asked in wonderment.

  “Just after one,” Johnathan replied. “Are you hungry?”

  As if of its own volition, her stomach rumbled and she once again felt her face heat up. “I suppose I am,” she said with a small smile, hoping he had not heard but knowing he had.

  “Then I suggest we eat and then tackle some of the heavy moving in the shop. We can have all the fabric available in the world in boxes stacked in every corner, but if the shop is not presentable, we have nowhere for customers to come and see what you have to offer.

  Before they returned to the interior of the shop, Alice placed a hand on his arm. “Thank you for taking the time to instruct me on the important elements of business,” she said in earnest, and she truly meant it.

  “But of course,” he replied with a smile. “I have as much to gain, if not more, than you, and I am more than happy to pass on what I know.” This time when he entered the shop, he walked in with his head held high and his back straight.

  Men certainly are a funny lot, she thought with a sense of wonder. However, if it eased the tension between them, then it was well worth the sacrifice. She would have her day when she would take the reins of her millinery, but for now, she was happy to share them with the Earl, for, in all honesty, he did contribute greatly to the overall success the store would have.

  ***

  It had been over ten days since Johnathan had come by for her first lesson on how to conduct business, and Alice found herself looking forward to each lesson since. Today, however, Johnathan would not be by, for he had his own dealings to which he had to attend. Though she was impressed over the last week with his teaching, she found herself even more impressed with his overall temperament. He had become more patient and had not lost his temper since the dreadful visit to the drapers. The fact had secretly delighted Alice.

  As she finished dressing for the day, a knock came to the front door. Alice glanced at the small clock on the mantle and saw it was just seven in the morning. “Who could that be so early?” she asked. After one more glance in the mirror, she gave herself a quick nod and walked to the shop. Just outside the door stood a woman with dark hair that peeked out from under a simple bonnet, an anxious look on her face.

  “I am sorry,” Alice said to the woman, “we are not yet ready for customers. If you return in a few weeks, I might be able to show you our hat samples.”

  The woman giggled. “Oh, no, Miss,” she replied in a pleasant voice. “My name is Sally Canton, I am…”

  “Oh, yes,” Alice replied as she opened the door a bit wider. “You are a friend of Patrick’s. A very good friend from what I have heard.” She was surprised how quickly people had realized that she was not really a ‘Missus’ anything. It had pained her when she had to explain to Patrick that she was not Mrs. McMalley but rather Miss Huntington.

  He, however, had not seemed to care. “You are who you are,” he had said with a broad smile. “If you’re Miss Huntington rather than Mrs. McMalley, then that is what I will call you. But don’t let anyone give you any grief for using a different name. Most of the folks around know a lot of people who use another name, so they won’t think nothing of it.”

  And as he had promised, everyone took to her name immediately and without even a second thought. She doubted that the wealthier people, had she known any, would have been as forgiving.

  Sally showed great relief even as her cheeks reddened when Alice mentioned Patrick. “Yes, ‘tis true that Patrick is my beau.” She shifted on her feet and it finally occurred to Alice that she had not asked the woman to come inside.

  “I am sorry,” Alice said as she moved aside. “Please, come in.”

  “Thank you, Miss.” Sally glanced around the room, which was looking more and more as a shop every day.

  “I was just about to make some tea,” Alice said as she led Sally through the two doors to her private quarters. “Would you like a cup?”

  Sally stood uncertainly in the doorway, and Alice indicated one of the two chairs at the small table. “Please, sit. Let me put on the kettle…”

  “Oh, no, there is no need to put yourself out,” Sally said as if in a panic.

  “It is no bother,” Alice assured her. “Now, please, take a seat.” This time she made her request more of a command.

  Sally pulled out the chair and sat on the edge as if it were the Queen’s own throne despite its dilapidated state, and Alice wonder
ed what Patrick had told her about Alice. Although she tried not to compare people with herself, Alice could not help noticing the inferior material in the woman’s dress or the simplicity of her bonnet. At that moment, Alice realized that, although her current situation was significantly worse than what she had during her childhood, and even beyond, she still had more than most.

  Once the kettle was hung over the fire, Alice took the chair across from Sally.

  “Patrick told me you’re going to open your own millinery,” Sally said as she clutched her bag in her hands. “You must be excited.”

  “I am quite excited,” Alice replied. Then she shook her head. “However, I have come to learn that it is much more difficult than I could have imagined.”

  “But in Cornwall of all places?”

  “Yes, here in Cornwall,” Alice replied with a smile. Although Alice had just met her, she found she liked the girl immediately. She was pleasant and had an air of kindness about her. “You see, I had plans to come here with…” She stopped, not wanting to think of that time so she added, “I visited here as a child and imagined one day living here. My fiancé has an estate nearby and our plan is to winter here so I am able to run the shop part of the year.”

  “It sounds so beautiful,” Sally said dreamily. “Your own business, marrying a man such as the Earl.”

  “You know him?” Alice asked in surprise.

  “I only know of him,” Sally replied. “Patrick told me he has seen Lord Blackmoore a few times in town, but I know nothing of him.”

  Alice smiled and felt her breath return to her lungs. What was wrong with her? From where had this cynical outlook come? She had never been one to worry what others thought, nor was she one to make accusations that were so ludicrous and insulting, even if she had not voiced them. However, something about the woman’s reassurance that she only knew him through Patrick had sent relief washing over Alice.